Read the book of Genesis again :: then Exodus :: then Leviticus :: then Numbers :: then Deuteronomy.  OMG! You are so bored now.  You know what you should do instead?  Have a sandwich.  You should definitely have a sandwich.  And then you should go for a walk :: steal a dog if you don’t already have one.  But stay the fuck away from Genesis :: it’s kind of the weird part :: and give the chop chop to The Book of Revelation as well {once you’ve been boiled in …

Tired of cutting yourself with razor blades just to feel alive?  The mess :: the guilt :: the lies to your mother … stop the insanity!  Did you know that there was a less bloody way to make yourself suffer screaming pains?  That’s right! No reason to self mutilate when can simply listen to “talking clump of dirt” Russell Brunson speak at the outrageously priced Glazer Kennedy SuperConference …

“Just 5 years ago, with $20 and a simple idea, Boise State student Russell Brunson started an online business – and by …

It’s an outstanding day at James Ray International! {dramatic pause} That’s what she said!
Will James A. Ray Finally Get Out On Bail? … asks Lynne LaMaster of Prescott News.  The hilarious answer :: probably not.  The hearing on reducing Death Ray’s bail to levels that won’t have delicate flower Luis Li squealing for mercy was scheduled for today :: but there is a tiny problem …

“For a while, it appeared as if today’s hearing might also be cancelled, according to Ray’s defense attorneys. Kelly explained that an agreement was reached …

Russell Brunson has had a rough life.  Growing up :: all he had was everything :: and you know how hard that can be. Okay maybe you don’t {loser!} :: but that’s your own fault for not manifesting the right kind of parents.
The High Priest of Mormon hypocrisy fought his first round with The Salty Droid last November.  Unfortunately for fans of talking turds :: and mirroring ALL of his “important” wrestling matches :: the fat bitch lost! The post exposed Brunson as the owner of a high pressure sales …

Felicia Fonseca’s latest article about James Arthur Ray is currently being picked up by all sorts of fancy schmancy news agencies around the world.  But in open support of Chiang Kai-shek :: The Droid is linking to it at Taiwan News.  That’s right :: I’ve just officially recognized Taiwan :: suck on that China .. you big red bullies!  Chinese authorities couldn’t be reached for comment about this bold :: some say provocative :: move by The Droid.  But one imagines they’d say something like: “Big trouble for you coming …

Josh and Megan Fredrickson :: two beautiful humanitarians looking to make the world a better place.  Do they sometimes have to cover up a death {or four} to finish the world changing work of the fake lord? Megan: “I, uh, no, I mean maybe, I don’t quite … yeah … okay totally! But just a few small ones. Is it cold in here … or is that just my soullessness?”
Megan and Josh have been with J-Ray since way back in the day.  A rumor {just started by me} says that …

Running low on your supply of James Arthur Ray? Miss the spray on tan and empty blood shot eyes?  Longing for the tucked in t-shits and shorts {with belt and baby bump}? Been too long since someone told you something someone else already said better?  Well then you’re in Harmonic Luck™ :: because this President’s Day ONLY the Droid Turd Shop e-Portal-2.0-Hub™ is offering 50% {or more} off ALL of our Death Ray related products. My fake secretary Debbie says I’m crazy for letting these items go at such rock …

Mania Megan Fredrickson is the Director of Operations for the prestigious seminar/death company James Ray International.  JRI has a small staff of poorly paid employees :: and a large staff of dreamy slave labor.  Megan is James Ray’s right thigh man :: oh did I say thigh? :: cause I meant to say hand.  No … I meant thigh.

“And then throughout the lodge just be a support for him and I guess mostly that means when he would physically stand up to put the water in he’d have to walk …

Mind Control Made Easy or How to Become a Cult Leader :: a short film by Carey Burtt.
This short film {12 min} somehow manages to be quite adorable in spite of the two brainwashed murders. It provides a clear blueprint for any budding psychopath to start making a 6 :: 7 :: or even 8 figure income simply by sucking the life out of other humans.  It’s easy :: it’s fun :: and it’s a complete turn-key cult solution.  Yours FREE today just for signing up for my telepathic opt-in …

Run Tellman Run :: at the mouth :: constantly run at the fucking mouth.  Tellman Knudson has been unable to stop running his yapper for YEARS.  He could run his ignorant mouth incessantly for 3 months :: without ever taking a breath … or saying a goddamn thing.  It’s a gift really :: like being born with a tail.
Recently Tellman decided that running at the legs was probably just as easy as running at the mouth.  He announced :: with much fake fan fare :: that he’d be running across …