It’s best not to have Great Expectations :: as they only lead to great disappointments.  The moment you start believing that you are going to end up with the pretty girl :: Miss Havisham will intrude and bollix all of your fondest hopes.  Wouldn’t it be better to fly by the seat of your “I eat too many processed foods” pants?
James Arthur Ray “thinks” so :: which is why the Spiritual Warrior Participant Guide :: sent out in July of 2009 :: contains almost no useful information about what to …

Three days after The Droid’s first post about the Church of Scientology :: The New York Times ran their own {non-hilarious} expose.  Is this merely a coincidence :: or was the Gray Lady shamed into action by my robotic bravery?  I think we all know the answer.  There are NO coincidences :: only the will of Xenu as manifested through vestiges of men.
Speaking of non-coincidences :: The Droid also happened to be in New York City and rolled past the Manhattan home of the glittery thetans.  I didn’t have time to be audited into clear :: but …

Are you KSW?  Or are you one of these skank ass bitches who doesn’t care about the world having the correct technology? And NO :: I’m not talking about donating iMacs to your local school system.  That’s just lame :: and it won’t do anyone any fucking good.  As if kids need experience working with computers.  Let them eat cake! Of course :: I’m talking about the only thing that really matters :: Keeping Scientology Working.
Apparently not enough people are KSW :: because Scientology is so so stupid :: and …

Josh Fredrickson was living the life of a top tier Internet Marketer.  He no longer lived with his mother {allegedly} :: and he was the sole creator of the hit website joshf.org :: which was getting literally dozens of clicks per year :: and bringing in enough fat cash for him to comfortably feed his two cats {She-she and Mr. BigglesBottom}.  Massive prosperity was right around the corner.  But just to keep from getting bored while he waited patiently for his rainbow shitting unicorn to show up :: he took …

Read the book of Genesis again :: then Exodus :: then Leviticus :: then Numbers :: then Deuteronomy.  OMG! You are so bored now.  You know what you should do instead?  Have a sandwich.  You should definitely have a sandwich.  And then you should go for a walk :: steal a dog if you don’t already have one.  But stay the fuck away from Genesis :: it’s kind of the weird part :: and give the chop chop to The Book of Revelation as well {once you’ve been boiled in …

Tired of cutting yourself with razor blades just to feel alive?  The mess :: the guilt :: the lies to your mother … stop the insanity!  Did you know that there was a less bloody way to make yourself suffer screaming pains?  That’s right! No reason to self mutilate when can simply listen to “talking clump of dirt” Russell Brunson speak at the outrageously priced Glazer Kennedy SuperConference …

“Just 5 years ago, with $20 and a simple idea, Boise State student Russell Brunson started an online business – and by …

It’s an outstanding day at James Ray International! {dramatic pause} That’s what she said!
Will James A. Ray Finally Get Out On Bail? … asks Lynne LaMaster of Prescott News.  The hilarious answer :: probably not.  The hearing on reducing Death Ray’s bail to levels that won’t have delicate flower Luis Li squealing for mercy was scheduled for today :: but there is a tiny problem …

“For a while, it appeared as if today’s hearing might also be cancelled, according to Ray’s defense attorneys. Kelly explained that an agreement was reached …

Russell Brunson has had a rough life.  Growing up :: all he had was everything :: and you know how hard that can be. Okay maybe you don’t {loser!} :: but that’s your own fault for not manifesting the right kind of parents.
The High Priest of Mormon hypocrisy fought his first round with The Salty Droid last November.  Unfortunately for fans of talking turds :: and mirroring ALL of his “important” wrestling matches :: the fat bitch lost! The post exposed Brunson as the owner of a high pressure sales …

Felicia Fonseca’s latest article about James Arthur Ray is currently being picked up by all sorts of fancy schmancy news agencies around the world.  But in open support of Chiang Kai-shek :: The Droid is linking to it at Taiwan News.  That’s right :: I’ve just officially recognized Taiwan :: suck on that China .. you big red bullies!  Chinese authorities couldn’t be reached for comment about this bold :: some say provocative :: move by The Droid.  But one imagines they’d say something like: “Big trouble for you coming …

Josh and Megan Fredrickson :: two beautiful humanitarians looking to make the world a better place.  Do they sometimes have to cover up a death {or four} to finish the world changing work of the fake lord? Megan: “I, uh, no, I mean maybe, I don’t quite … yeah … okay totally! But just a few small ones. Is it cold in here … or is that just my soullessness?”
Megan and Josh have been with J-Ray since way back in the day.  A rumor {just started by me} says that …