Revolution!!!
No shit.
What should I say? Think of something good robot :: think … think …
HIGH FIVES!
{ugh … anti-trite fail}
Did you really just do that Egypt? Holy fucking black swan.
“What’s gonna happen now mommy? I’m quivering with fear tears” :: cries Glenn Beck to his life-size Glenn Beck doll.
Fuck you Glenn Beck :: that’s what’s going to happen next.
How about NOT tyranny? NOT tyranny … the best possible thing.
Thanks for the inspiration Egyptians.
Without question :: one of the most epic fucking things I’ve ever seen …
People Power!
>> bleep bloop

Many of you stupid bastards wish I was encouraging victims to file official complaints regarding the various dubious doings daintily detailed here.
No :: stupid :: I won’t do it …
1) piss off
2) boring
3) it won’t help
4) did I ask for your fucking opinion?
On the other hand …
1) you’re probably right
2) I don’t know everything
3) maybe it will help
4) why do I have to be such an asshole about everything?
Fine :: I’ll do it.
New to the NavBar :: the SaltyDroid Complaints Department.
Thanks to Work at Home Truth for the inspiration :: and …

Happy New Year Motherfuckers!
Not really.
The millennium is officially a preteen :: so I guess she still loves Justin Bieber … and Twitter. Whatever :: grow up millennium!
According to GraphingEngineer Mike Koenigs :: 2011 is going to be another tough year :: especially for people with college degrees. As you can clearly see from this overwhelming evidence :: Job Opportunities for College Grads :: expressed as a percentage {of something}  :: are on the downtrend  … towards the zeroish type area :: frowny face.
Meanwhile :: people with “Social Media” can look forward to 100% opportunities …

Copyblogger’s Brian Clark no like me.
Me so sad :: me want to cry. How will me ever succeed on the blogs now?
I’ve been critical of Brian Clark’s vapid message :: his parasitic existence :: his censorship of dissent :: his being a big fat unreasonable bully :: and the total uselessness of his useless products.
Ouch.
Even worse {for Brian Clark} :: in spite of my outrageous outrageousness :: this fake robot website has become big and important … and whatever I’m bitching about seems to go right to the top of the search results.
Sorry Charlie … …

Happy Thanksgiving.
Not really.
Some of you aren’t even Americans … so whatever. Don’t go celebrating American holidays if you ain’t got the right. We’re the ones who exploited the lands and peoples of the New {to us} World … not you.  So keep your damn foreign hands off our meat based holidays. Especially you Canada … I better not smell any god damn turkey up there!  And no watching NFL football either {you can watch Rangers v. Man United on DVR like I’m about to do}.
“But Droids can’t be Americans” :: …

I recently had a meeting with Iain McDonald about my new line of highly fashionable post-transgender pants.
Iain is the founder Amnesia Razorfish :: a digital advertising agency based in Sydney :: and a part of Razorfish … which wasn’t then was and now isn’t {say it fast} a part of Microsoft. Iain’s agency helps companies take their brands online or whatever blah blah blah.
He’s an Internet marketer. Funny right? Like an actual one!
See … for those of you not in the know … around here the term “Internet Marketer” has exactly jackshit to do …

Happy Halloween!
Not really.
I told my fake secretary Debbie :: NO COSTUMES! :: this is a professional operation. I don’t want a parade of fagatronics around here … especially in service of the devil’s day.
But she ignored me completely … per the usual … and came dressed as a goat witch.
“Are you insane Debbie?” :: I scream tantrumed.
People come here for world class fake robotics :: not to be subjected to juvenility and mildly slutty goat based witchcraft. I should have her flogged … but I’m not sure what that means … or who …

Busy doing a little something something … no time for issuing literary profanities.  Please accept this publication of a lame attempt at Droid censorship as content in my absence.
The following bullshit was sent to my server :: and my servers upstream provider {their connection to the Internet backbones} …

From: Simon Benson
Date: October 21, 2010 10:05:12 PM PDT
To: abuse@dod.net
Subject: Possible Violation of Terms Of Service & Illegal Activity.
Hi,
I would like to bring it towards Project DoD’s attention that the following site’s webmaster which Project DoD is providing hosting service for, www.saltydroid.info has been violating …

Gnomes are known to be grumps :: but as the male gnome balds and approaches menopause like village idiot Mike Filsaime is now :: things can get out of control right quick.
Wait … that was hateful of me! It’s not right for me to dehumanize predators in order to shine a light on their wickedness and empower their victims. I told myself I was going to be a better me! Argh! I apologize to everyone :: especially Jesus. I know how frustrated Jesus gets with …

Tony Robbins is fucking toast.
No wait :: I mean :: I saw Tony Robbins on some fucking toast.  Yeah … that’s what I meant … I saw him on some toast.  Remember? It just happened!
I was trying to write a serious article about how the Canadian authorities are turning a blind eye to sickening perversions within their famed Royal Canadian Mounting Police … when I was rudely interrupted by some annoying code loop and a piece of apparitional toast.
I tried to be all cool about it because I’m a badass and everything …