{smoke still clearing}

Hi again!

So badguys … how you like me now?

The Internet Marketing Syndicate post {plus comments} currently has a word count of 54,000. The first 1500 words are fucking priceless {natch!}. The quality of the remaining 52,500 is … let’s say … highly variable. So :: for the second time :: the comments are the post.

Congratulations on the epic honor of making the cut … your fake check is in the mail {no it isn’t!}.

@Cosmic Connie ::

“Good work, SD. You have illuminated the apparent business model not only for some of the top players in IM but also for the related and oft-overlapping New-Wage/selfish-help/McSpirituality industries. There are “cartels” everywhere, it seems. Which, it seems, is precisely your point.”

@anti-syndicate

“They’ve since had a few big pow-wows. One the day after kern’s second mass control event at his office. You can get a sense of who is in the group (and who isn’t) based on who attended and spoke – although there was one or two speakers who are not members of the syndicate. Reese, Belcher, Deiss, Mulligan, Filsaime, Walker, Kern, Koenigs, Pagan, Jenkins, Fallon, Johnson are all members.

They coordinate launches – with an actual calendar. They coordinate launch themes so nobody steps on anyone else’s toes and everyone can promote one after the other. They decide who is going to promote who and when they’ll do it”

@ballsack

“Let’s stop for a minute. Ed Dale promotes all the syndicate offers, yet when his loyal followers produce a business that can genuinely help people, he DOESN’T promote them, but strings them along and suggests that if they scratch his back (by working on the challenge for free), maybe he’ll scratch theirs. WTF?!?

… He is going public with a company based on stabbing people in the back, and he is planning on using his stock to “buy” people’s businesses for peanuts.”

@Ed Dale scam

“If anyone dares to ask any immediate edge member for proof of their success (as I did) and then asks awkward questions like “is anyone actually making any money?” they get run out of town faster than you can say “scam”.”

There are many comments that paint Ed Dale in the dull light of a rotten pink thong … and many defenders hiding behind proxy servers :: sounding emotionally disturbed :: and stinking of the same thong.

@Nuisance to the Douche-ance {writes a song for Mike Filsaime}

“Don’t make me call Pauli Sabol, (smiles)
I’ll put your kids on a cruise with that pedophile
I need to buy more drugs and hair plugs
So, I’m gonna get my money by connin’ you ‘nugs”

@Name Unimportant {on Syndicate “bonuses”}

“For example, when one launches their pricey product promoted by their cronies, they eventually (and sometimes shortly thereafter) give away their once high-priced product as a free bonus during a colleague’s subsequent launch.

It’s infuriating to me to see people paying several thousands of dollars for a product during one big launch, only to see it being given away as a free bonus, less than a few months later, as an incentive to buy from their affiliate link for another crony’s big launch.”

@Slick {on the same}

“By having each affiliate add bonuses to their packages…the question of whether to buy or not psychologically (and emotionally) shifts to: “WHICH ONE should I buy?” as opposed to just whether to buy or not. ‘Which one’. Not ‘should I’?”

@SyndicateExposed {who very well might be a lunatic}

“Eben Pagan looks like the biggest pussy I’ve ever seen. I feel like I could actually come up to him, put my hand in his pocket, take out his wallet and walk away with him explaining the evolutionary & psychological reasoning and analysis for my crime.”

Pagan gets beat to death with wet noodle :: News at 11.

Former StomperNet honcho Dan Theis left a long comment regarding where to draw the criminal line in the criminal sand.  He makes some okay points … but all I’m going remember is this …

@Dan Thies

“Does the Syndicate exist? Yes, it does – it’s been one of the worst-kept secrets in Internet Marketing for a few years now.

{yada yada}

In my opinion, the Internet Marketing “industry” is broken and sick, and would be so if none of your targets had ever gotten into the business.”

@SomeGuy

“I am not happy with some of the stuff I promoted in the past. I did it because otherwise they wouldn’t promote me and it was crucial for my product to be success. The fact is I have so much information about this industry that would put a lot of them behind bars. I have been to the affiliate parties and I know exactly what goes on there and how the deals are made. You should guys hear how they talk about their customers. It’s sickening.”

@Ken

“This is all funny. And the reality is that Kern ran out of money last year… Eben Pagen lives in a shit hole and really has about 7 employees and not hundreds like he tells people and the rest of them have to continuously con people because they could not run or build a business if their life depended on it.”

@WHAT’S THE REALITY HERE?

“How do you feel about Kern saying they are all just USING YOU to spread the word and provide (manufactured) “social proof” to get people to buy almost EXCLUSIVELY from the SYNDICATE MEMBERS instead of you?

He’s admitting you are LOCKED OUT and are just being used. Your efforts are doomed because you can’t be a member of his private “syndicate.”

This is really quite a revelation, and should be extremely upsetting to anyone who is, or ever has been an affiliate.”

@Pepe

“If you’re another online marketer, why are you going to sit on your ass while these guys run you out of the marketplace? They are smiling in your face and plotting your demise behind your back. THIS IS WELL DOCUMENTED BY THE DROID. WAKE UP.”

@Mock Me Baby {on why FTC actions are so scary}

“1. They are a civil agency and therefore you do not have a RIGHT to legal representation. OUCH.

2. They have many Court Opinions that give them the right to FREEZE ALL YOUR ASSETS BEFORE YOU EVEN GO TO COURT. And these injunctions and freezes specifically say you cannot spend any of your money on an attorney. OUCH.”

@Phil {sad}

“If only I’d found this site sooner, I’m one of their victims who has been cleaned out by them.

I have lost my life savings to the IM guru’s in this so called syndicate, I’ve bought all the $2,000 courses, upsells etc – you name it I have probably bought it.

I’ve recently been feeling suicidal and been suffering depression because of the amounts of money I have lost to these guys.

All in all I’ve lost around $100,000 since 2007, I know a lot of it is my fault but this is a nasty addiction like gambling – once you get sucked in it is hard to escape from their clutches.

Like a true sucker I bought Perpetual Traffic Formula, this is my last hope of recovering some of the money I’ve lost to these guys.

I wish I could get all my money back somehow from all these IM gurus, can’t believe how stupid I have been.”

@End of the Tunnel {in response … very nice … but also sad}

“*** And that Deiss course in your hands right now is CRAP. ***

His course will not help you. Get your refund NOW. Get out, get out of the MENTAL TRAP that keeps you thinking the next one’s gonna do it. It’s not. You’re not going to make money online with their shit. That’s why they focus so much on “mindset” and “manifesting”… it traps you in your own mind so you don’t question their methods. Rather than try their bullshit traffic-getting advice and see it’s shit, you end up staring at yourself in the mirror beating yourself up, wondering what part of your subconscious is holding you back.

The truth is, their failed advice is holding you back. They design it like cliffhanger TV shows, always promising the carrot and never giving it.

So focus a little energy on getting that refund. Focus the rest on getting work if you don’t have any, and on taking care of yourself. Spend time with people you love. Realize you made a mistake that MANY other people have made, and show yourself some compassion for it.

You’ll look back on this part of your life as a dark place you escaped from.

The light at the end of *my* tunnel is that losing two years of my life to these jokers has made me serious for the first time in 10 years about going back to school. I don’t know what yours will be.

It’ll be something. Something good.”

And @Marc :: who started like this …

“This is the most insidious place ever.”

… and finished :: after much vitriol :: like this …

“I guess I was trying to hide the fact that I know all too well how easy it is to waste a year or two when you’re subscribed to every marketing list imaginable…

Cause maybe I did it myself… fuck. That’s hard to admit…

… maybe I’ve been drinking too much Kool-Aid lately and dind’t know it until I read End of Tunnel’s post that shit was more embarrassing to me than anything else”

… and who is forgiven by me.

Taking us out on a teaser for the next post … long time commenter @Rafael Marquez …

“It’s all about semantics. I love how he says “trade union” over and over instead of the more evil and sinister sounding “gang,” “cartel” or “co-conspirators””

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. The Internet Marketing Syndicate
2. The SlobberNet Comments
3. Frank Kern’s Traitor Union

Did you hear that Brad Fallon and Andy Jenkins are mega-fucking-douche-bags? Yep! You did. You’re welcome.  And it wasn’t just one or two of you now was it?  Oh no … it was fuck near all of you.  The hush curtains are coming down … and the shit heads have NO IDEA what to do about it.  Rolling on ……..

1.  Brad and Andy are henceforth “BrAndy” :: cause they hate each other :: so that shit is funny.

2.  That photo is unaltered {by me} :: and not classy.

3.  StomperNet was sued by their fulfillment house for a significant amount.  The complaint claims that they didn’t pay :: and then tried to use that fact to “leverage” themselves into a decreased price. Again :: not classy.

The StomperNet Shit Storm post did indeed produce a shit storm.   The comments are crazed {and awesome!} :: you should read them.  But there is lots of distracting shenanigans per the usual :: so here is a distillation of the new info that oozed up from the dark black hole that is 2010 SlobberNet … my thanks to the useful commenters {and to all the other peeps who sent me useful shit over the last week}.  Let’s figure out what has happened here … and do something about it.

@PsychoBabble ::

“Yes, StomperNet was Brad’s attempt to cover his self-inflicted losses at MyWeddingFavors.

Yes, the business was operated by his wife while Brad toured the country using it as “proof” of his business acumen. (Brad’s core competency is presenting the fiction that Brad is a good/competent guy, not running a business.)

Two missing pieces: John “The Greaser” Reese and Frank “Churm ‘em and Burn ‘em” Kern.

Kern masterminded the thing from behind the scenes. The SlobberNet twins could not and did not pull this off by themselves. Pre-Launch, they were hopeless boobs and got virtually their original customers by trawling other people’s seminars and signing up people in dark corners…”

Yep!  StomperNet belongs to BrAndy on paper … but the reality of the situation is something else entirely.

“What you’re missing -and maybe someone with the evidence will come forward – is that unpaid commissions are just the tip of the iceberg. SlobberNet ERASED THE COOKIES of many of its original affiliates after the first launch, thus stealing who knows how much money from them in the process.”

I’ve heard that multiple times :: from multiple sources.

“Oh, and one other little detail. Drug of choice for this crew? Adderall crushed and snorted. Adderall is a fancy name for four different kinds of amphetamines. Breakfast of champions… if you aspire to be a raging high energy mass of hostility, paranoia and dishonesty.”

Snort snort :: I hear this all the time too.

@Tom Porky ::

“During the 999 launch, in the process of making tools available to affiliates, a tool supplier copied affiliates incorrectly in an email resulting in a bunch of affiliates getting the others’ email addresses. Brad hit the roof! Guess they need to get together.”

Live together :: Die alone.

“As we know, on 4-6-2009 a receiver (Luther Beck Jr.) was appointed by the court to oversee StomperNet finances. Brad and Andy came to an agreement on 7-24-2009 and on 8-11-2009 the receivership was terminated by the court. We know they owed affiliates a boat load of money. The question is, why would be receiver agree to allow an owner to be paid $100,000 and leave the affiliates unpaid?”

I don’t know who this “we” is :: but I didn’t know any of that.

“… if the information is so great why did 85% of the original subscribers drop out. You have claimed more than 1800 signed up in 2006 but at time of your 999 launch you had just over 260 and that’s after 2 additional launches over that 3 year period. Hey, with that record you should be paying them big bucks to keep your job!!

Oh, but you are the great marketer who was suppose to get more than 5000 new subscribers during that 999 launch. You did not even get close to half that! And why are people dropping out so fast? It must be because of that great info StomperNet provides.

Oh, I guess it’s those free tools that surprise, surprise, actually cost if you want them to do anything really useful. But that was Brad’s original plan – bring them in at $200 and push them up to $400 or maybe a $1000.”

85% drop out rate :: pretty much says it all.  That’s just like growing a business :: only not.

What’s the difference between the current $200 & $500 per month StomperNet packages?  No seriously … what’s the difference?  I’ll wait.

“Oh yes, Brad is wonderful! After StomperNet Live 8 he calls all the faculty to his house and basically fires them all. Oh, they can stay on but without pay and they still have to do faculty office hours and participate in the forum for nothing.

You remember that promise Andy and Brad made to the apprentice members, that is, they would never have to pay again for anything BrAndy did. But Brad, being the great guy he is, decided they have to pay for the new stomper tools. Guess he figured out some way to say they are not really his product.

And then there is the problem of throwing away 3 years of work some of his members had put in building links because Brad decided to just stop paying for the service. He did not even tell the guys in Utah he was dumping them until nearly 4 months after the fact.

Oh Brad puts on a clean public face to his members, but deal with him one on one and you learn how big an asshole he is with his bullying, demeaning emails and text messages.

And don’t think we are stupid. Brad was always a 50% owner in StomperNet and if it went down to the point he had to rescue it, he did allow it to happen.

Also, if Brad is such a wonderful “SEO guru” why did he have to have Dan Thies, Leslie Rohde and Andy Edmonds work on MWF to keep it ranking and producing? With those guys helping, any of us could be SEO gurus.

Why did Brad have to run the 999 launch out of his home kitchen? If StomperNet is such a successful business that’s “here to stay”, why can’t they get a real office.”

God Brad SUCKS!! Even for someone who sucks he sucks.

@Aspen Brands

“Jennifer married Brad in May of 2003. She had her own home and he had a condo that his parents had to sign for due to his credit history. Jennifer had an 8 yr track record with Johnson and Johnson moving up the ladder every year or two and then left on good terms and went into big ticket sales with software in the legal and then healthcare industries. Brad did not have any assets when he married Jennifer. She runs the Aspen Brands as CEO and the key brands are kate Aspen and Baby Aspen and then there are many e-commerce retail sites that are under the overall umbrella…

The lawsuit against Jennifer is bogus and unfortunately she may be paying cash out of pocket to Brad since he has driven every start up he has attempted into the ground while she has continued to focus on her company strengths. But ultimately the asssets will be split in the divorce, not by the lawsuit where Brad claims ownership of the companies after filing bankruptcy post Jennifer starting the company. There is a trial date set for the divorce and the charges were ordered to be dropped against Jennifer in the above case since they will be ultimately handled in the divorce.”

How can Brad Fallon help your company fail today?

>> bleep bloop

Related posts:

1. StomperNet Shit Storm
2. The Syndicated Comments
3. StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords

Sometimes cornucopias come stuffed with all kinds of lame ass fruits and yams and shit :: and no one is very interested.  The lame-a-tude of the cornucopia killed the still life as an art form :: a tragic fucking loss that we all still mourn.  But cornucopias may well experience a renaissance if more people stuff them full of delicious insider info about disgusting pig scammers.  I’ve just used cornucopia in four str8 sentences :: don’t like it? :: suck it!

The Droid has been smacking the crap out of StomperNet for a long while now ::  A quick recap …

Perry Belcher lies about MC Hammer — Perry Belcher is one of the speakers {aka pressure salesman} at a StomperNet Live event.  The Droid uses his now banned Twitter account to stir up the pot.  Why is this fucking felon on stage?  Poor first impression.

StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords — Andy sues Brad :: the complaint gets posted to the web :: and The Droid re-posts.  The complaint makes Brad sound like a fantastical bastard :: and makes it clear that both Brad and Andy have been flat lying about what’s going on with StomperNet.

StomperNet :: We’ll Pay You Later — StomperNet isn’t paying their affiliate commissions.  Brad writes a bullshit letter asking unpaid affiliates to mail for Stomper’s latest launch in order to enable them to pay what they already owe.  Unbelievably slimy :: and reeking of Mr. Ponzi.

Emailing with the Enemy –  Andy tries his hand at manipulating The Droid.  He offers to sell out Brad in exchange for my good side :: and he wants me to correct my “mistake” about him “draining funds” to pay for Paul Hastings {best law firm in the whole wide world … as long as a certain adorable girl is still working there … which she is … much to Andy’s evil chagrin} to file the lawsuit against Brad.  Failure :: on all counts.

NOTE: I notice a couple of things rereading these older posts.  First :: I’m fucking hilarious.  Second :: I swing my axe in too wide a circumference.  By calling all of StomperNet a useless scam :: I have indicted dozens of people who have nothing to do with what I’m talking about {and whom I haven’t investigated in the slightest}.  Please accept my robot apology if you were one of the people unfairly lumped in with these dickheads.  StomperNet is a scam :: but it’s a scam perpetrated from the top by Andy Jenkins and Clifford Bradley Fallon :: its list of victims includes its own employees and affiliates.

Now to the cornucopia :: brought to you by the many “friends” of Brad Fallon.

Item 1 — Brad sues his wife {soon to be ex-wife} Jennifer Fallon over ownership of their Chinese importing  / wedding favors business …

… and how!

:: Super Short Version ::

Brad and Jennifer start a company together.  The company gets put 100% in Jennifer’s name because Brad has suck ball credit.  As the company’s revenue grows the ownership structure changes several times.  Each time the paperwork indicates that Brad has no ownership interest :: but he claims there was a mutual understanding among the other owners that he had claim to half of Jennifer’s share.  Brad acts as CEO of the company :: and pays himself $150,000 per year {increasing over time}.  Brad does a great job as CEO.  Over a very short period :: and in spite of ever increasing revenues :: the company is drained to the point where they are having a hard time making payroll {sound familiar?}.

My Wedding Favors ends up indebted to none other than StomperNet to the tune of $675,000.  Some time in 2008 :: My Wedding Favors repays $375,000 to StomperNet … and EVERY FUCKING PENNY of that is taken by Andy Jenkins as a “distribution” {Paragraph #51}.

In September of 2008 Jennifer Fallon files for divorce :: probably her best ever decision.  Shortly thereafter :: Clifford Fallon gets forced out of My Wedding Favors by the totally ripped Jennifer :: like the punk ass bitch that he is.  It was probably easy to do :: because on paper Brad owns nothing :: and only the paper matters.

Brad wants his “job” back.  He wants back-pay for all the time he’s been not working on the business.  He wants his half of the massive StomperNet loan.  He wants punitive damages. He wants attorney fees.

In summation :: Brad’s only success in life {and the first thing out of his mouth when he’s pitching his bullshit} is actually Jennifer’s success … which he tried {and is still trying} to bollix.  Along with stealing from his partners :: Brad Fallon is also the kind of mother fucker who sues his wife for fraud over a business deal!

Item 2 — Meanwhile :: back at StomperNet affiliates haven’t been paid for a long long time.  This spreadsheet is StomperNet’s own assessment of the situation …

… The Droid doesn’t understand much of this sheet :: but the take home message is pretty clear.  By August of 2009 {a month before the big relaunch} StomperNet was close to $1,000,000 behind on affiliate payments.

Item 3 — And here are StomperNet’s official budget projections from August …

… Oops! Brad and Andy :: guru’s of Internet Marketing :: heroic entrepreneurs :: have built a “successful” web business that is a running a $50,000 per month loss.

Notice the list of liabilities includes a one time payment to Andy Jenkins for $100,000 in September of 2009.  The company hasn’t paid it’s sales people in months :: but Andy grabs $100k {added to whatever salary he was taking … plus the $375,000 he’s said to have taken in 2008} :: and walks away leaving only his lies behind. Not cool guy … not cool at all.

Have you been paying big money in order to “model” yourself after the success of Andy Jenkins and/or Brad Fallon?  Perhaps it’s time for a re-think.  Perhaps Brad and Andy are just lame fucking failures who use and abuse everyone in their lives.  The lies will never stop … until you stop believing.

When is NOW the right time for change?

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords
2. The SlobberNet Comments
3. Not with a bang but a whimper.

StomperNet co-founder :: and former d-bag in charge :: Andy Jenkins is just dying to speak with The Droid.  Maybe he’s not happy about some recent posts :: or maybe he’s just a big fan.  I hear I’m HUGE in the “Insecure Narcissist” demographic.

I declined several “opportunities” for phone based girl-talk :: and an email conversation ensued. Here is that entire conversation {unless Andy decides to come back for more}.  The Droid would not normally publish an email chain like this :: but Andy deserves it for reasons that you can read about later in my totally kickass tell all book.

Remember as you read that per Brad and Andy :: everything has been going just great and they are best buds.  They could not possibly love each other any more without tongues getting involved :: and manziers declasping ::

____________________________

EgoAndy to SaltyDroid

So, as per my conversation with Karin, someone sent me an email claiming to be you.

Which sorta freaks me out.

Has anyone tried this kind of shit before?

SaltyDroid to EgoAndy

I’d say you should be more worried about real me than any fake mes.  And yeah … it’s happened before.  Most famously with Kilstein.

So what can I do for you Mr. Jenkins?

EgoAndy to SaltyDroid

First, I’m not worried about the real you (unless you’re just indiscriminately targeting Internet marketers), but I know you’ve got a jones for Brad – and my former association with him isn’t doing me any favors.

Where’s you blast radius on him going?

Second, you’ve got some facts wrong about me, the lawsuit, and who paid the bills.  You after the truth? Or trying to stir the pot for stirring sake?

Third, you want a real scumbag of an outfit to go after?  I mean a REAL SCUMBAG outfit.  I don’t have an axe to grind with this company, but they could use your brand of exposure.

SaltyDroid to EgoAndy

I don’t love Brad, that is true. But it’s StomperNet that I’m gunning for.  It’s the idea of charging normal folk $800 per month that I’m gunning for.  Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?  To me, YOU are StomperNet.  Brad is just like some rogue drunk uncle fondling the guests. You were the captain. You were steering the ship.  Right?

If I have some “facts wrong” please do correct me. I’m a stickler about getting things right … and seeing as how I’m not Ben … I’m not really privy to the inner workings of your organization.  Enlighten me.

Of course I want info about SCUMBAG outfits. That doesn’t seem like a question that needs asking.

EgoAndy {offering a deal} to SaltyDroid

No, I’m NOT StomperNet.  I WAS StomperNet, now I’m Andy Jenkins. You got an issue with what, exactly?  Price Point?

I guess I see your point.  It’s like me being mad because an attorney charges $650 PER HOUR? What do you charge? But I guess that’s justified because an attorney got a certain degree and passed a test?

And Define “Normal Folk”.

You wrote and explicitly said that I used StomperNet money to pay legal bills. You misspoke. I personally paid ALL of the legal bills to sue fallon.  I know it makes a real good story – me draining capital to sue brad – it just didn’t happen that way.  If you’re a stickler about the facts, correct your blog to reflect that. You got a lot of other stuff RIGHT about Brad.

I’m not privy to the inner workings of StomperNet anymore.  You can ask Ben, or ask Brad. If you want to ask me about how it used to be, fix what you wrote in good faith, then lets talk about other evil that you don’t know about yet.

I wasn’t trying to misdirect you with the scumbag question.  I’m just not sure what kind of scale you want, cause this outfit is huge, politically connected, and completely evil.

Examine Jeremy Johnson and iWorks Incorporated. (AKA E-Trends, Netbiz, Grant Masters)

http://www.bbb.org/utah/business-reviews/web-designers/i-works-in-st-george-ut-3070085

http://www.complaintsboard.com/complaints/grant-masters-c216470.html

http://www.ripoffreport.com/Search/iworks.aspx (Long load times)

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-6061-news-the-$50000-question-utahrss-attorney-general-explains-campaign-donations-received-from-company-his-office-investigated-for-fraud.html (This is of special interest because the Utah Attorney General took a $50,000 contribution from them after investigating them for fraud)

You’re a good writer.  Not blowing smoke – you just are.  Use that to take down more actual thieves like iWorks.

It’ll take you 20 minutes of looking at public records to reach the conclusion that these people are EVIL. These people HURT other people, on purpose.  They STEAL – not metaphorically, actually.  They ding credit cards without permission, sell $4,000 coaching packages from boiler room phone centers, and promise to get grant money for a paid up front commission.

oh yeah, since WHEN do real gamers not use a mouse?

SaltyDroid {having had enough} to EgoAndy

Why is it that all you chuckle heads feel the need to justify your schemes to me?  What you’re doing is amoral and unethical … fact. You must come to terms with that in order to live with yourself … so don’t pretend otherwise to my face.  It leaves me unmoved.

$650 per hour and is a scam {not to mention $235 per hour for paralegals … etc}.  No doubt about it … and I’ll make no defense of the “Big Law” world.  But they prey on large corporations and massive scale capital … hard to get too worked up about that.  Your going to Paul Hastings … and them taking you on … is just totally ridiculous.  They are overpriced by choice .. their stated policy is reduce their total number of clients and only serve the Global top 50.  Which ain’t your little shim-sham operation.  For your purposes … anyone could have written that complaint … you obviously had no intention of letting it go to trial.  Totally foolish ego play hiring such an overpriced firm.  I’m glad they took your money.

Karin already passed on your message about my “mistake” regarding where the funds to pay the lawyers came from.  I’ve already considered, and disregarded it.  I say: “Andy :: being the classless .. tasteless .. d-bag that he is :: actually bragged about his needless wasting of OTHER PEOPLE’S money” …. other peoples money is ambiguous.  It matters not to me if you take other peoples money from your corporate account … or from the money in your personal account that came from you corporate account … not your money.  If your people haven’t been paid … it’s their money.  If your people had been paid … then it’s your victims money.  Either way … it ain’t yours.

But now that I know you are sensitive to that part of the tale {and you should be} … I’ll make sure to harp on it … and explain it in greater detail for the minions.

I can’t be manipulated.  Maybe you should start worrying.

So I guess Brad and Andy are still getting along GREAT!  Sure :: Andy is ready to sell Brad up the river to Enemy Number One :: But other than that everything is just georgia peachy.

Hey “Gurus” :: NewsFlash :: Don’t fuck with me.  I’m here to say something :: and I AM GOING TO SAY IT :: all attempts to silence me will backfire.  Come at me str8 :: without your usual BS salad :: and say whatever it is you need to say.  Otherwise :: expect to walk away with none of your objectives satisfied :: and at least three days worth of impotence {even with your pills}.

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. StomperNet :: We’ll Pay You Later
2. StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords
3. The SlobberNet Comments

StomperNet :: the unlegendary turd hauling cargo ship :: is about to be swallowed whole by the ocean. The ocean fucking hates bad karma :: and StomperNet has three years worth of karma plaque build up from :: Lies :: Fraud :: and Exploitation. Brad and The Boys haven’t been paying their affiliates :: Don’t get me wrong :: They’ve wanted to … just not badly enough to actually do it. Here’s an email that Bradley Clifford Fallon sent to affiliates the night before the pathetic StomperNet 9/9/09 relaunch :: He still wants affiliates to promote his uselessly lame {WAY overpriced} product even though he hasn’t paid them for the sales they’ve already made.

Subject: our commitment to pay you (personal from Brad)

Hi,

Brad here.

This email is going out to a limited number of partners, and I would appreciate you keeping this between us.

Since I bought out Andy’s interest in StomperNet, I might have spoken to you on the phone and you know what’s going in. If I haven’t, my apologies.

If you were on the webinar last Thursday night, you heard directly from me about our commitment to get you paid up.

There are a number of reasons why we are here at this point, but it doesn’t help solve the issue to get into it.

Here’s what IS important: we are committed to getting past due commissions paid off as quickly as possible.

Here’s the plan:

1) Regardless of whether you promote for us again we will do our level best to get completely caught up by the end of this year.

2) If you take the time to look at this offer, whether or not you have mailed for us recently, and regardless what you have ever thought about StomperNet, Brad or Andy – you WILL want to mail on this one.

But just to make sure, we are going to give you a little extra incentive: we are going to DOUBLE your commissions at the rate you’ve earned for continuity bundles for the 1st month and apply that doubled amount toward paying back what we owe you.

If you make more than we currently owe you, you get to keep it!

For example, if you sell enough monthly StomperNet memberships to earn a 27% commission, we’ll double that in the first month and give you 27% more AND we’ll pay that “payback” 27% on September 28th (rather than October 28th, which would be the normal payout date for September transactions).

So you’ll get paid before we do, as it should be.

3) If you don’t promote for this launch, we’ll still start the payback process for you on September 28th as well.

Look, this is a tough message to deliver – “if you help us, you get more” – but the fact is, we NEED your help.

Successful affiliate partners like you have made StomperNet what it is, but we recognize that we cannot be successful without acknowledging this ‘elephant in the room’.

We’re not happy that we find ourselves in this situation, and I’m sure you’re frustrated with this too.

All I ask is that you give us a chance to fix this, and an opportunity to restore confidence in us.

I’m extremely confident that StomperNet has a lot of good things in its future, but it’s a lot tougher road without your help.

Talk soon.

Brad

P.S. Under separate cover, you’ll be getting the email from Tom Ham about all the different levels of StomperNet that we’ll be offering, and how the accelerators work.

Do not hesitate to contact him directly on his cell at (678) 560-6688 if you have any questions about this payback plan or the launch.

Oy vey! :: What a schmuck!

I tried to redact Tom’s cell number … but I think I accidentally placed it in bold instead. Please tell Tom I’m really sorry about that when you call him pretending to be Sarah Palin.

:: Begin Numbered Paragraphs ::

1. If Brad just bought out Andy with a big pile of cash :: then why didn’t any of that money go to affiliates and partners? Andy takes the money and RUNS … leaving the people who actually made the sales with nothing but Brad and Ross Goldberg? Real nice …

2. Remember that just a few months ago Brad and Andy were suing each other {link}. StomperNet is in crisis … people aren’t being paid … and both of these dipshits hire massively expensive lawyers to moderate their little cat fight. Andy :: being the classless .. tasteless .. d-bag that he is :: actually bragged about his needless wasting of OTHER PEOPLE’S money {link} ::

“So like, lets pretend that I’ve got a good Biz Dev and Corporate Litigation lawyer (Not one, but TWO) from the 3^rd largest law firm in the world. Heh. And if you act now for the low price of $645.00 per hour you can too! Just click the button below and…”

Hilarious. That’s just like a joke I would tell … except it’s NOT FUCKING FUNNY.

3. The “irresistible offer” they are making here is to pay you back for work you’ve already done with work you’ll do in the future. It’s sick … and I seriously doubt it’s legal.

4. The commissions they owe are on $800 per month subscriptions :: How are they going to pay that back with $200 per month subscriptions {which aren’t selling well}? I know you marketers aren’t good at math … but that’s an easy one … try to work out why it’s impossible without asking your nine year old for help.

5. If StomperNet owes you money :: You better get it RIGHT NOW :: It’s bank run time bitches! Start making calls … don’t take no for an answer. They are obligated to pay you NOW … you don’t need to wait for some arbitrary day of their choosing. If the ship sinks … only the precious few who show some bravery RIGHT NOW will get paid :: Everyone who waits will just get fucked … and not in the good way.

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords
2. StomperNet Shit Storm
3. The SlobberNet Comments

As most of you didn’t hear :: Yesterday was the lackluster 57th repeat relaunch of StomperNet.  You’ll recall that Andy Jenkins recently turned over his {seriously gay} Captain’s Hat to legendary prick Brad Fallon {link}. It’s Brad’s job to pretend to steer while StomperNet sinks to the bottom of the ocean.  I for one :: think he’s going to do a fantastic job.

What’s new for members of StomperNet this time around? The all powerful Droid has managed to get a copy of a letter that Brad Fallon wrote to the Super Secret TopStomper Society — Skull & Bones Division :: OMG … many thought the existence of the SSTSS-SBD was just legend :: But the investigative powers of The Droid are able to pierce even the realm of legend :: Behold!

—————
Dear Stompers,

Hey it’s me, Brad Fallon. You might remember me as the guy who ran off with a lot of the money but never lifted a finger to help build the business. Gosh that was fun. Remember? Oh wait, you weren’t there. Well anyway, I digress.

As many of you know, StomperNet has recently Fallon on some hard times. But we think we’ve come up with a couple peachy new ideas that are going to be just the thing.

First, we are going to downgrade the quality of the staff. Ideally, everyone will be replaced by one my worthless cronies.  I think you’ll all agree that’s in the best interest of the company. When I feel like going to yell at bank tellers … I don’t want anybody saying, “Hey, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” That’s the kind of negativity that ruins companies.

Second, we are reducing the price of our useless product by a whopping 75%. Now we are willing to screw you for just $200 a month.  After three years of charging $800 per month, we’ve decided that price is comically scandalous.  Who were we kidding (besides you of course)?

I know what you’re thinking: “But Brad, part of StomperNet’s high price was supposed to be justified by the exclusivity of the content. I paid you thousands upon thousands and now that same information is going to be made available for a fraction of the cost.  You make my ‘investment’ less valuable :: And you make me look like a fool, a chump, an pathetic idiot who bought the biggest lie of all.”

That’s all true.  But think of it like this: Back then we told you that the exclusivity was important, but now we are telling you that it’s not.  See the difference? Great, I thought you would … you’re not a tire kicker or you wouldn’t be in SSTSS-SBD.

There will be some other new features as well.  For example, we’ll try to sell you on other people’s super expensive crap that purports to do the same thing that our super expensive crap purports to be doing. Then, and this is the best part, we’ll take most of the money from those sales if you’re fool enough to buy. Oh wait, my assistant just told me that we were already doing that.  Well rest assured, we will continue this service uninterrupted.

If you aren’t happy with these changes, feel free to sue me. I’ve been known to collapse in a surrender heap like a french tranny … but I digress.

The Unlikely Captain of Your Poorly Built Canoe,

Bradley Phallus Fallon

—————

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. StomperNet :: We’ll Pay You Later
2. StomperNet Shit Storm
3. StomperNet :: Seeing Fnords

>> bleep What’s up StomperNet? >> bloop

StomperNet is a monthly membership site that offers access to SEO and “training” materials relating to building an online business.  Stomper has an air of legitimacy not present in many of the other scams I write about.  They have a staff and actual offices :: Their websites are shiny and glossy :: They call their BS tactic instructors “faculty” {gag!}.  But ever-so-slightly below the surface is the dark heart of a beast.

The Beast collects a toll :: Monthly Membership Fee –> $800 :: Bang! :: That’s $9,600 dollars per year to access a website, receive some nominal amount of “coaching,” and attend a quarterly live “conference” {WARNING :: coaching = selling you stuff // conference = selling you stuff} In case you need some perspective {and you probably do because you don’t read enough books} :: The average annual cost of attending a fully accredited public university is $6,585 {link} :: 30% less than a year of “stomping.”

StomperNet is a partnership between Andy Jenkins and Brad Fallon.  The company launched in 2006 and claims to have done $12 million in sales in the first 12 hours {link}. Shortly after the launch :: Fallon stops helping … but keeps taking.  Andy does almost all of the work and is the public face of StomperNet. When I arrived on the pathetic scene in February of 2009 :: People were saying that Brad was no longer a part of StomperNet at all.

So it was quite a shock this July when StomperNet announced that Brad had bought out Andy {link}.  Andy was leaving the company and Brad was taking over as the active CEO.  What what what???  That makes no sense.  Why?

Andy :: {link}

“People are speculating like crazy about what kind of behind-the-scenes dramatics went on, but it’s something far more boring: I was ready to pass the StomperNet baton in order to work on other stuff. Brad was ready to take it.”

Yep! That’s boring :: But not as boring as this long rambling post he wrote about it {link}.  It’s 6500 words about himself :: the biggest narcissism wank-off since Napoleon bumbled into Russia.  Hey Andy :: you do understand that you aren’t actually an important person right?  Remember how that’s all just an illusion that you yourself have created? Posers who are sucking the life out of the Universe are politely asked to keep their posts under 200 words.  Haven’t you done enough damage?

Brad :: {link}

“The only fireworks are those we see happening online with all the gossip and rumors.” chuckles Brad Fallon “Frankly, we were surprised by how much everyone cared! Happy…but surprised.”

“Cool. No fireworks. God loves a happy divorce,” chuckles The Droid.

Then last week someone pointed me to this site :: stompednet.com :: Lo and fucking behold it’s a pdf of the complaint in the case of D-Bag v. EvenBigger D-Bag :: The author of the stomped site asks a simple question  ::

“Did Brad Fallon buy out Andrew Jenkins to make this lawsuit go away?”

OMG! That is a crazy document.  On March 27th, 2009 :: Andy sues Brad.  Here are the claims :: translated from Pointlessly-Boring-Lawyer into Hipster-Droid-Speak >> bleep

1.  Brad and Andy are 50/50 partners in Stomper :: They also have joint mutual interests in several other turd balls :: like “YouTube Secret Weapon” :: How proud they must be.

2.  Brad never does shit … but he still getz paid.

3.  Andy whines :: “Clifford Bradley … I do all the actual scamming around here … but you take more of the loot. It’s just not fair and it’s hurting my feelings.” And then Brad is all like :: “Fuck you asshole.  I’ll do whatever I want and you know it.  It’s the freedom that comes with being a criminal … embrace it you wuss!”

4.  Brad uses the company credit card like a toy.  It’s full of found money … and he treats it that way.

5.  Brad uses the recycled useless bullshit that StomperNet passes off as content to help found equally useless businesses which Andy and StomperNet do not get a sweet taste of.  He uses company spam lists :: company fake-goodwill :: company “trade secrets” :: And the company gets jack crap in return.  Rude.

6.  Brad is the sole owner of Blue Falcon Marketing :: [heavy redaction] :: Brad claims he made more money in a short time with Blue Falcon than he made in two years with his unloved husband Raggedy Andy.

7.  In December :: Brad takes $110k out of StomperNet’s bank accounts without authorization.  This surprise withdrawal “jeopardized Stompernet’s ability to conduct its day-to-day operations.”

8.  Brad’s surprise give-me meant that Andy had to put some of his own scamming money back into The Beast to keep checks from bouncing and ruining Stomper’s credit.

9.  Andy tries to lock Brad out of the accounts :: Brad goes to the bank and tries to be an intimidating DickHead {one of his strong suits} to make sure he retains access to his pot of gold.

10.  The bank tells them both to get lost.  Closes the accounts and cancels their lines of credit.

11.  New bank :: same problem with Brad’s DickHeadedness.

12.  Then the fancy lawyer rams these badguy v. badguy facts onto a bunch of different causes of action :: The best one being :: Usurpation of Corporate Opportunity :: Becuase it’s fun to say {makes you feel important}.

Shazamm! I don’t want to write a 6500 word post like EgoTrain Andy :: But allow me just a few more comments ::

a) Brad is a total asshole.  Stealing money from your 50/50 partner :: From a business perspective :: That’s an unforgivable sin.  If you are soulless enough to commit that hideous moral crime :: there is no business crime which you wouldn’t be willing to commit.

b) StomperNet is in trouble.  Deep deep trouble.  In Andy’s response to the posting of this pdf he says {link} ::

“StomperNet was an EIGHT FIGURE COMPANY according to its 2008 tax returns. This was about being short $110,000 in the specific operating account where payroll is funded from — and not knowing about it.”

Nope! That doesn’t make sense.  Bad lie.  The suit says that day-to-day operations were threatened :: that checks were going bounce :: that vendor relationships were threatened.  Lawsuit Andy is also highly perturbed about the loss of Stomper’s line of credit.  That shit just don’t jive with $12 million in 12 hours :: or EIGHT {all caps} FIGURES in ’08.

High quality rumor says that Stomper peeps are being paid with IOU’s :: or are taking pay cuts {link}. People other than Andy are leaving {link}.  And everyone knows that Brad is a train wreck :: He can’t do what Andy was doing.  $800 per month is totally unsustainable in this climate :: And Brad has spent the whole year promoting stuff so crappy that even the sheepish IM world is crying foul.

StomperNet is sinking :: let’s see if I can’t put a few more holes in her hull before 9/9/09.

Keep on stompin!

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. StomperNet :: We’ll Pay You Later
2. StomperNet Shit Storm
3. Not with a bang but a whimper.