Dave Navarro wanted to be an Internet Marketer. Like lots of you people :: he wanted to be less of a cog in a big unthinking machine. He wanted to have more time for his family :: and more time for himself. He wanted increased certainty :: and less fear of the future. He wanted things to be different for his kids than things had been for him.
Internet Money!!!!!
FREEDOM!!!!!
 
It started like ten years ago :: books :: CD’s and DVD’s in overly large thud packaging … Tony Robbins.
Five years ago it started …

“I’m going to tell you a story and it’s very, very important. Please read it, all the way through. Women’s lives are at stake.”

One of my posts could start like that :: if I were a shit-trite writer … cause women’s lives are at stake. The after effects of protracted manipulation are regularly deadly … as Kirby :: Liz :: and Colleen might tell you if they weren’t already dead. And it’s not hard to imagine how often something like this …

… leads to a nice old{ish} lady deciding to …

Great black waves … {of allegory one supposes} … I think that’s where we left off.
ProBlogging :: you can do it! … in just 10 easy steps according to me.
And according to the professional blogger who calls himself ProBlogger :: Darren Rowse :: pro blogging is a six-figure type situation …

… apparently one of the secrets of six-figure blogging is book writing. Books are like blogs with all the convenience of a book … or something.
According to the professional blogger who calls himself Copyblogger :: Brian Clark :: if I want to be a …

The IttyBizzy spider climbed up the water spout :: where she churned a blackened web and waited {festering in her own goo} to suck the life from anything plump that crossed her sticky path.
Down came the rain :: but it didn’t do shit to the IttyBizzy spider :: it just evaporated around her in a screaming steam. All things natural and good are repulsed by her gooey darkness.
Oh look :: the spider bitch is having a sale on “consulting” :: it’s a surprise :: for her family … she’s a …

Operation CRUSH the fucking boiler rooms has officially begun …
… but then we had to pause to talk about newts and Twitter spammers and such so I could mention that I was quoted in one of America’s original science magazines. Woot!  Nerd-gasm! Wanna talk some more about that?  Cause I will …
No?
Okay fine :: but as long as we’re on the subject of stupid Twitter bullshit … let’s linger for a moment on turd eating chumpsicle Brian Clark.
Brian Clark is a copyblogger. A copyblogger :: for those of you not …

Copyblogger’s Brian Clark no like me.
Me so sad :: me want to cry. How will me ever succeed on the blogs now?
I’ve been critical of Brian Clark’s vapid message :: his parasitic existence :: his censorship of dissent :: his being a big fat unreasonable bully :: and the total uselessness of his useless products.
Ouch.
Even worse {for Brian Clark} :: in spite of my outrageous outrageousness :: this fake robot website has become big and important … and whatever I’m bitching about seems to go right to the top of the search results.
Sorry Charlie … …

Scribe SEO :: the first two words of this post are Scribe and SEO.  It doesn’t make that much sense.

Remember when I already used this photo?
Its file name is :: copyblogger-sonia-simone-brian-clark.jpg
What a lame and stupid file name. Back in the before time :: it would have had a fucking awesome name like …

awkward-moments.jpg
dumpy-love.jpg
touching-more-than-the-hem.jpg

… delicious! Those are file names you can believe in god damn it.
But then some of you conformist pussies were all like :: “use your title and image tags more effectively and you’ll rank better”.  And I was all …

Can you make six figures blogging?  Let’s examine that issue together …
No! You can’t.
Examination over … c u l8r!
{boo hiss boo … that doesn’t count as a post you lazy bitch … boo hiss boo}
Okay fine :: fuck! :: a little more. But only a little … cause I wanna play Halo Reach {sort of}.
Blogging means writing … right? It doesn’t mean selling some cheese dick frauduct. That’s something else entirely.  Can you make six figures selling products? Duh! But if your “blog” is all about selling said cheese dickery …

Fourscore and yesterday :: at 3 am Robot Standard Time :: the justice robot left a comment over at Copyblogger.  Copyblogger :: if you don’t already know because you’re interesting :: is a stupid and boring place to talk about stupid and boring things that are stupid and boring.
The post was about how Chris Pearson and his Thesis theme were out … so now Brian and Sonia formed a new company that … OMG SO BORED!
Skip to the comments. Mine sounds like the others … only not.

“Wow! This really is …