Someone told Leonard Coldwell’s Facebooks about my article about how Leonard Coldwell is the fucking worst. He left it up most of the weekend while he was busy bootcamping his champions™ :: because along with being an idiot … he’s basically a computer illiterate.
But Mr. Shorty McPervyPants finally figured it out :: and replaced the truths with a totally sensible FAPB {facebook all peeps bulletin} …

“$ 500 reward for the first one that gives me the real full name ( identity ) and address of this Salty Droid loser. Plus …

Dr. Leonard Coldwell is not a doctor :: he’s not a Leonard Coldwell even … he’s NotDoctor Bernd Klein … the pervy little disgrace of Germany. Bernd’s mother Gerda :: knowing immediately what rot she hath wrought … tried to kill herself by swallowing too much hepatitis. But Bernd was an imaginary doctor even in his youths :: and he saved mommy dearest from herself … as he tells in one of the most ridiculous examples of fraudulent biography on all of the interwebz …

Discovering his gifts at a very early …

James Arthur Ray :: the play … okay?
Tickets are $15,000 :: no refunds … or complaining.
Okay maybe not :: tickets are some other price that won’t tend to make random people on the interwebz exclaim … “you deserve to die!”
But getting to Scotland isn’t easy :: unless you’re Mary Poppins … or god. Fortunately I am :: god that is … not Mary Poppins.
I am god.
Okay maybe not :: but I do have interesting and articulate readers all over the world … including The Scot-lands. It makes me feel quite …

“It was 10:45 p.m. on a cold night in January 2012 when a black car slowly pulled into the driveway of Johanna Quinones’ Sandy home and parked with the engine running.”

The car belonged to Utah’s corrupt and oafish Attorney General Mark Shurtleff. The ridiculous Mr. Shurtleff was escorting one of his criminal boyfriends :: Sov Ouk … on mission to intimidate and torment Ms. Johanna … Sov’s long-suffering ex-wife.
Johanna met Sov on a vacation to the United States in the 1990′s. Quite ironically :: she left her LDS family in …

Kim Jong-il :: the great leader of the comrades and god of the many-flowered moons :: is dead at the age of whatever. After his long battle with whatever :: he lost and died … and now I laugh in his dead face.
Above is how the North Koreans {who are just like the regular Koreans except starving} learned of Kim’s timely demise. In case you can’t read Korean sign language :: I think she says something like …
“The Queen is dead … long live the Queen!”
Speaking of Queens :: poor …

NotDoctor Sean Stephenson :: BFF of James Arthur Ray :: was recently engaged to the lovely Mindie Kniss. He told us about it {above} while in California speaking at the SANG conference. SANG is a totally innocent networking group cofounded by legend of black business :: and founder of Black America Online :: Stephen “Roc” Pierce.
Little connections like that are fun. It’s not a conspiracy against the customers or anything … just a few totally random coincidences that couldn’t possibly mean anything other than fun.
Mindie and Sean’s love is so …

Frank Kern is a family man … didn’t you know? He talks about it all the fucking time … so it must be true. I’m sure he’s not just intentionally trying to humanize himself in order to lubricate the process of doing something very inhuman :: because that would be manipulation … and your “main man Frankie” ain’t like that.
But sometimes mommies and daddies fall out of love :: and even the fakest of marriages fade into San Diego divorces. Call me India Lawrence Kern {as seen on The Salty Droid} :: …

PZ Myers is an evil fucking scumbag.
Maybe not actually. That’s a bit too exciting.
Redundant dirtbag :: or derivative {saggy} dickbag … are probably both more accurate.
The Internets tell me that PZ Myers is an “outspoken atheist” :: which I think probably sounds something like this …

“There is no God … and we can’t let him win.”

I guess outspoken atheists do things like making a Hajj to Kentucky’s The Creation Museum :: where they walk around pointing at things they don’t believe in with a vending-machine-potato-chip fueled sense of superiority. Oh and of course Dinosaur rides :: available even to those with diminished …

Dr. Joost Meerloo was originally called Abraham Meerloo :: but Abraham was not a very trendy name to have during the Nazi occupation of Holland.
Dr. Meerloo was a practicing psychiatrist when the Nazis rolled into the Low Countries. He continued to see patients for nearly three years under the stress of the occupation until his own imprisonment necessitated an escape to England where he served as Chief of Psychiatric Type Stuff for the Dutch forces. After the war :: before moving on to America and Columbia University :: Dr. Meerloo did extensive research …

Three days after The Droid’s first post about the Church of Scientology :: The New York Times ran their own {non-hilarious} expose.  Is this merely a coincidence :: or was the Gray Lady shamed into action by my robotic bravery?  I think we all know the answer.  There are NO coincidences :: only the will of Xenu as manifested through vestiges of men.
Speaking of non-coincidences :: The Droid also happened to be in New York City and rolled past the Manhattan home of the glittery thetans.  I didn’t have time to be audited into clear :: but …