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Conscripted Consumption at Club 100

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“Who would like for their own kids to have the exact same life that they’ve had so far? That should be enough motivation for you to take seriously what I’m telling you. Do something different — am I right or not?”

… semi-shouts a Colombian trainer for Herbalife’s Club 100 to her audience of impoverished recruits.

“If you earn 2,000 or 3,000 […]

The Most Important Post of My Career

Financial journalists judge the importance/relevance of a given piece of news or information based on the stock market’s reaction to its revelation. Reporters who move stock prices are rewarded :: those who don’t … aren’t. It’s dumb :: and irrational … but it’s how the profession is setup.

Guess who told me that?

Bill Ackman.

So then why :: in the name […]

Mark Shurtleff :: Orange is the New Green

Two former attorneys general of the scam state of Utah :: Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Wow :: OMFG … that felt so good to say. I wanna do it again!

Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Holy shit! :: felt just as good the second time.

Most of the assholes profiled on this […]

The Doxing of Michelle Celarier

NYPost reporter Michelle Celarier has always been my biggest fan :: she told me so herself … right before she accused me of attempting to blackmail her. She’s fun like that.

Michelle has written dozens of short :: obsequiously pro-Ackman / anti-Herbalife … articles over the past year and a half. But in my considered estimation :: she has done […]

The Beginning and the End

Remember when the fake robot was born on the Twitters … and then got almost immediately banished for calling out the Twitter scam of a recently convicted computer crimes felon?

No? … me neither really.
#ancienthistory
I came back later with a single issue account to stir up the pot for former Herbalife speaker James Arthur Ray and his culties :: eventually […]

You’re Not Retarded

That coach lady from Glee doesn’t want me saying retarded anymore … gettin’ all up in my fucking business about it.

I’ll say what I want! Take your track suit tyranny and tread on someone else’s liberties lady.

But then again :: some nice guy said this to me a couple years ago …
I visited your site after reading “The Verge” […]

My Herbalife Job Interview

I seriously need a new job. Nothing too fancy or anything :: just something that pays better than my current salary of less-than-nothing-plus-death-threats-and-torments-and-lawsuits-and-droolers. Shouldn’t be too hard to beat.

The minimum wage in Ohio {my new home base} is $7.95 per hour {$318 per week} :: so that’s like a huge promotion for me and stuff … I’ll take it!

But […]

Conspiracy to Destroy

After a lifetime of epic grift :: serial huckster Kevin Trudeau is finally in jail … rotting like he always was. KT got ten years for failing to comply with some government paperworks he signed ten years ago as a punishment for the bullshit he’d been pulling the ten years previous to that. Hundreds of millions of dollars have […]

The Burton Family Affairs

It’s clear how Michael Burton’s faux career at scam company Herbalife is going to end :: fucking disastrously … and with no possible excuses.

“But how did his career begin?” … asks a giraffe standing on a turtle.

Well :: inquisitive giraffe with extraordinary balance :: it began with used cars … in the style of our very own previously shat upon The […]

The Burton Affairs

Herbalife show piece :: and puffy-old-ass-white-guy :: Michael Burton … is … magnificently :: colossally :: stratospherically :: hyperbolic-adverbially … bankrupt. Bankrupt enough :: in fact … to be ten average American bankruptcies all by his gross muscly lonesome.

It’s impressive :: if you are capable of being impressed by horrible things … which I totally am.

Over the years :: […]