Frank Kern is a family man … didn’t you know? He talks about it all the fucking time … so it must be true. I’m sure he’s not just intentionally trying to humanize himself in order to lubricate the process of doing something very inhuman :: because that would be manipulation … and your “main man Frankie” ain’t like that.
But sometimes mommies and daddies fall out of love :: and even the fakest of marriages fade into San Diego divorces. Call me India Lawrence Kern {as seen on The Salty Droid} :: …

Do you want to attend SummerCamp with Naomi Dunford and learn all about how you can use full-body Spanx to make yourself look exactly like a chunk of chubby girl sausage?
I’m sorry that was mean :: Naomi doesn’t want me to be mean to women “bloggers” just because they’re destroying the lives of countless other women and children. But it’s really hard for me to heed the warnings of turnip headed turds :: and sometimes I just blurt things out. Please accept my apologies … you talking piece of garbage.
Well …

The IttyBizzy spider climbed up the water spout :: where she churned a blackened web and waited {festering in her own goo} to suck the life from anything plump that crossed her sticky path.
Down came the rain :: but it didn’t do shit to the IttyBizzy spider :: it just evaporated around her in a screaming steam. All things natural and good are repulsed by her gooey darkness.
Oh look :: the spider bitch is having a sale on “consulting” :: it’s a surprise :: for her family … she’s a …

Not being an ass :: but Dean Graziosi sells better on camera than pretty much anyone on the planet right now … says asshole Dean Graziosi about himself … the loathsome and pathetic Dean Graziosi.
Better than anyone on the whole fucking planet! That’s how epic Dean is at the on camera selling. Planetary epic! If he does say so himself … not to be immodest or anything … but he’s the fucking best.
Sometimes though :: like maybe once in awhile :: or always :: he needs to use a couple boiler rooms …

Irwin Frank Kern :: professional twat :: recently requested help naming his fake book.
We helped :: cause we cool like that.
Many entries contained humorousness :: but I won!

We could have another contest to help name fuckhead James Arthur Ray’s next stupid book :: but why bother when Yakaru already won?

Both books will be written in crayon.
Thank you for shopping at D-Bag Books … were we always pretend to appreciate your patronage.
>> bleep bloop

Frank Kern wrote u a books about the glories of his glorious “marketing” career … you’re welcome.
It wasn’t hard {that’s what she said!}.
Irwin F. Kern III ain’t no good at marketing :: he’s got no education or experience in the profession {and may not even understand what the word means} :: but people say he’s a “genius marketer” because he says he’s a “genius marketer” … funny how that works … people believing stuff and stuff.
But what Frank lacks in marketing wisdom he more than makes up for with his …

Mike Koenigs has a Main Street Marketing Machines {Fusion 2.0} that he wants to get you rich with … of course you’ll have to pay him some thousands now … but then later you’ll be totally fucking rich :: and stuffs :: and you’ll say to yourself :: “Self :: great job giving Mike Koenigs all that fucking money … well played.”
Before Main Street Marketing Machines 2.0 Fusion was riching people up :: there was Mike’s multi-thousand dollar value extravaganza :: Social Media Money Machines …
A few months before that …

Andy and Frank wanted me to write about Jeremy and Mark :: so I didn’t.
But then later :: I totally did.
Maybe you :: good little reader and/or bad little scammer :: read my article about Jeremy Johnson’s stupid bullshit.
Also reading that article was America’s very own Federal Trade Commission.
Let that sink in for a minute.
They asked me to sign a declaration so that the above graphic {sans robot} could be used as evidence in a hearing to attain a preliminary injunction maintaining the trustee’s control over all of Johnson’s ill …

The Syndicate just can’t a catch a break right now.
Fucking karma … what a bitch.
A while back I heard a rumor that Amish Shah and Jay Styles had been sued by Microsoft for their Magic Bullet cat crap.  That didn’t make much sense to me :: and documents are prefered to rumors …
Well :: ta-fucking-da!

Thanks to the Wall Street Journal Law Blog {click this link fuckers so this dude will notice us}.
The doc is a not-that-interesting to me pre-trial ruling … but it states the basics …

“Defendants are alleged to …

StomperNet is {and always was} failing … weekend edition.
Before Kim and Sandy :: there was Brad and Andy.
They broke up.
The break up was messy :: and full of santorum :: but they put on brave and loving public faces … because they were both in the same French for trade union.
It’s almost 9/9/09 :: Brad is going to relaunch StomperNet because “perpetually declining customer base” turns out to be a nose snortingly bad business strategy. It’s going to be an affiliate launch :: a Syndicate launch :: but StomperNet doesn’t pay affiliates …