Free Speech

Dissent is silenced by the weak and limp corporate machine :: how sad for liberty and justice for ALL.

Donald Trump’s Rich Dad University

Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki are like backrubbing besties … and stuff.

Two “Men” :: One “Message”
That message?

Give us ALL your fucking money {and all the money you can borrow} so we can keep pretending to be self-made millionaires.

It’s not a very good message. But the book doesn’t need to be good :: because like most such books … it’s just […]

The Marcus Evans Effect

Once upon a troubled time :: The Syndicate threatened to sue the fake robot in multiple jurisdictions {although not to my face … natch} … in order overwhelm my ability fight. I wish they would have :: because it would have made me instant famous … and my desire to fight is an infinite loop. But they didn’t … […]

The Crystallization Method

Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were […]

The Trillion Dollar Trial of the Millennium

It’s finally happened :: I’ve been sued.

Was it …

The Homicder?
The Great Pyramid?
The Godfather?
The Giant?
The Gnome?
The Spider?
The Rick Calvert’s Tacos?

Nope :: it was Eliot Bernstein … who’s totally going to get a nickname as soon as I figure out who the fuck he is.

I mean here he is giving a “Presidential Campaign Speech” without his top or bottom teeth …

… […]

Mixed Company

The Cato Institute :: a libertarian think tank {like a shark tank but with nerds} … was originally founded in 1974 as the Charles Koch Foundation. Charles Koch :: and his brother Joe Hardy … go around solving various mysteries down at the old lighthouse. No wait that’s wrong. Charles Koch :: and his brother David Koch … go […]

Kevin Trudeau Legal Defense Racist

Donate to the Kevin Trudeau legal defense fund now! Now motherfuckers … NOW!

“Here’s the bottom line. I believe the government wants to lock me in prison for life and virtually burn all of my books. Your first amendment right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH is being violated.”

You’ve prolly never heard of virtual book burnings :: cause it’s totally 2.0 … […]

Fuck You Leonard Coldwell Motherfucker

Doctor Doctor Doctor Doctor Leonard Coldwell :: board certified PHDoctor … has had enough of me. Last time I talked to him :: and he didn’t have the man-sack to talk back to me … I was calling him Barbara. He loved it :: in a sexual way … allegedly. But I guess it’s not fun to threaten someone […]

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Prequel

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?

Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?

Shirly those two questions are equivalents?

Was that last question a question?

Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose […]

Minion Uprising 2.0

Are you with me … or are you with me?

Or wait … are you against me?

WTF!  You’re against me? What did I ever do to you?

Oh I ruined your life? Okay … that makes sense. But the rest of you have no excuse.

This fake robot site is tough to read :: and understand … because it’s fucking awesome and […]

Crystal Cox’s 5th Amendment Rights

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”

… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.

Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.

Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: […]