Have you been suspended from Twitter? NO! You haven’t!  Because you aren’t fucking punk rock enough.  You’re all like :: “Did you hear about Michael Jackson? #rip #MJdead” :: And everyone else is like :: “Yeah I know! #kingofpop #omgosh” :: And then Oprah gives you a golf clap :: And everyone fucking hugs everyone :: And the shiny “New Media” Cup gets passed around so that each person can kiss their own reflection.  blah blah.
On a completely unrelated subject {wink wink} :: Let’s look at some graphs :: Because …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein is a sick and disturbing individual. He’s a troll :: Pervert :: Hostile Sicko :: Victims Advocate Abuser :: Flatterer :: Misogynist :: Fake Healer :: Sycophant :: Scammer :: Con “Man” :: and {of course} D-Bag. Writing about him is somewhat exhausting and depressing {even for a robot}.
On the upside :: His idiocy is manifest :: DeepDigging is not required to find moments in which his creepiness crosses over the line and becomes tragicomedy. The Droid puts ampletitudinous amounts of effort into video editing …

Meet Maria A. Andros {twitter}.  She calls herself, “The Video Marketing Queen” {because what’s a nickname without a definite article?}. Maria was a part of the 90 Day Challenge scam run by our old friends DK and Jimmy Davis {it’s NOT too late to get a refund}. Her idiotic lies and dark hearted coquettishness were an aid to Jimmy and DK … and for that I have not forgotten her.
Currently Maria is promoting {and being promoted by} SICK FUCK Not-Doctor Kilstein.  She just can’t seem to get enough of his …

Our good friend Not-Doctor Kilstein calls himself a copywriter :: And SELLS himself as such.  Act Now! and you can pay him $1277 for some of his gilt-edged copywriting wisdom {link}. Wow! That’s a lot of scratch :: I wonder {without wondering} if he’s worth it.  Let’s inspectify the copy he’s written for one of his own scam-a-licious  products.
Introducing :: The Physiology of Excellence
The all-important first sentence … everything is riding on it … I’m choking with fake anticipation … wait for it … ready, set, go ::

“Breakthrough Your Fears, …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein has destroyed whatever slim chance he had for success on the Internet by PROVING himself to be a vile sexual TROLL.  He was caught in the act back in 2005 {link} :: And then again recently {link}.  As a part of his ongoing {and lame} effort at damage control :: He has deleted all of the offending “anonymous” Tweets.
First, your Not-Apology is Not-Accepted.
Second, obviously my robot ass isn’t going to allow a cover-up.  There is no escaping your past on the Internet FatCakes … might as well …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein {perverted asshole, dumpy fool, sick freak, and probable regular wearer of pink leotards} wasn’t a fan of my last video {link}. I’d guess that is because it made him look like a fucking idiot :: And fucking idiots hate that.  Don’t worry Harlan … people were laughing at you … not with you {you thought I was going to be all conciliatory … and then WHAM! … I wasn’t … humor … evil genius … I have it all}.
Well Not-Doctor K. ain’t gonna be done like that! …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein :: In his virtuoso performance as @the{FAKE}saltydroid …
He would have preferred to stay anonymous … because he’s a modest fellow … but unfortunately {for him} he’s also a stupid fellow.
Not-Doctor Doofstein is telling people the screen captures in my previous post were faked :: And that he’s NOT @thesaltydroid :: Well here’s the video you stupid mother fucker … how you like me now??
In case you were wondering {or thinking about making pointless threats} :: Under Federal Law recording a conversation only requires the consent of ONE …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein writing under his {no longer anonymous} pen name :: @THEsaltydroid :: Something tells me he won’t be winning the Man Booker Prize {this year at least}.

Okay … first of all … this is too easy. STOP making it so fucking easy on me cheese brains.
Not-Doctor Doofus thinks he’s about to get my name :: And more intoxicatingly … a video that proves I’m an Internet Marketing insider “up to no good.” It was such a good ploy because everyone over at IdiotTown is desperate for me to …

The Droid started writing about Not-Doctor Kilstein just a brief two weeks ago :: I say brief, but in Kilstein years, it’s been an eternity.  That’s because he’s a douche :: a loser :: a psycho pervert :: and he’s getting his ass handed to him.  Flop little fish :: Flop!
This is a bit complicated :: So let me recap for those of you who are stupid.
>> A ridiculously awesome little robot writes a blog post about Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein accosting the victims of sexual abuse on the Internet in …

A reader writes and says, “Droid, how do you find such satisfying long term relationships?”  Excellent question made-up person, I use a five step process that you can apply to your own pretend life ::
1.  just wait and see what happens
2.  ….
3.  …
4.  ..
5.  .
There you go … done and done!  Apply that to your pathetic life for about a decade … if you’re happy with the results … send me a hyperinflation adjusted check for $5,000.

The story of my not-love affair with Not-Doctor Kilstein begins {as so many good …