Herbalife

Is Herbalife a pyramid scheme? {hint :: yes}

Ocean Breathes Salty

This fucking “job” is like cocaine :: exhilarating … addictive … expensive … and personally destructive.

But how am I supposed to go back to being a normal/boring person after seven years a fake robot?

It’s not possible :: the arc of my irrelevant life has been set … and it involves incessant rhetorical fisticuffs with people who want to stab […]

Hurricane Herbalife

“Attend EVERY event” :: Herbalifers are told … at every event. I’m too busy doing ________{insert anything else} to satisfy the EVERY standard :: but I did attend ONE event … which went way better than my Herbalife job interview. Here’s my staccato summation of an all day event at Herbalife …
music
clapping
success!
clapping with music
changing your life!
we are a family clapping

BE the CHANGE!
money!
skinny!
rhythmic clapping
your life […]

Christopher Reese :: Straight for My Boys

Christopher Reese {pictured above left with Herbalife executive Des Walsh} is an International 15K President’s Team member :: which in case you’re not down with the lingo … means he’s very near the tippy top of the pyramid.

Reese oozed up from Chairman’s Club member Doran Andry’s Southern California scum-pot-downline … a group of people building their fake businesses beneath […]

Merry Christmas Goodbye

What if … I’d never fucking existed?

It’s easy enough to imagine :: cause fake robots aren’t even real … and I’ve recently been an unannounced absentee.

Another year is ending :: it’s dark and cold :: a great time to ask myself the tough questions … maybe contemplate suicide.

Is it a wonderful life?

{not really}
Merry Christmas
I imagine that my guardian angel […]

Conscripted Consumption at Club 100

_-_

“Who would like for their own kids to have the exact same life that they’ve had so far? That should be enough motivation for you to take seriously what I’m telling you. Do something different — am I right or not?”

… semi-shouts a Colombian trainer for Herbalife’s Club 100 to her audience of impoverished recruits.

“If you earn 2,000 or 3,000 […]

The Most Important Post of My Career

Financial journalists judge the importance/relevance of a given piece of news or information based on the stock market’s reaction to its revelation. Reporters who move stock prices are rewarded :: those who don’t … aren’t. It’s dumb :: and irrational … but it’s how the profession is setup.

Guess who told me that?

Bill Ackman.

So then why :: in the name […]

Mark Shurtleff :: Orange is the New Green

Two former attorneys general of the scam state of Utah :: Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Wow :: OMFG … that felt so good to say. I wanna do it again!

Mark Shurtleff and John Swallow … have just been arrested.

Holy shit! :: felt just as good the second time.

Most of the assholes profiled on this […]

The Doxing of Michelle Celarier

NYPost reporter Michelle Celarier has always been my biggest fan :: she told me so herself … right before she accused me of attempting to blackmail her. She’s fun like that.

Michelle has written dozens of short :: obsequiously pro-Ackman / anti-Herbalife … articles over the past year and a half. But in my considered estimation :: she has done […]

The Beginning and the End

Remember when the fake robot was born on the Twitters … and then got almost immediately banished for calling out the Twitter scam of a recently convicted computer crimes felon?

No? … me neither really.
#ancienthistory
I came back later with a single issue account to stir up the pot for former Herbalife speaker James Arthur Ray and his culties :: eventually […]

My Herbalife Job Interview

I seriously need a new job. Nothing too fancy or anything :: just something that pays better than my current salary of less-than-nothing-plus-death-threats-and-torments-and-lawsuits-and-droolers. Shouldn’t be too hard to beat.

The minimum wage in Ohio {my new home base} is $7.95 per hour {$318 per week} :: so that’s like a huge promotion for me and stuff … I’ll take it!

But […]