Internet Marketer :: and top Herbalife distributor :: Shawn Dahl … has a real thing for his mother-in-law {pictured above left}. Well :: maybe not her so much … as her scamtacular business ideas. Before Dahl met his mastermind mother-in-law :: his best scamming idea involved becoming a middling real estate agent in the Siberian province of Vancouver.
The money in real estate was good :: but the lifestyle was a grind. Or :: the money in real estate was no good … and Shawn and Nicole were living paycheck to paycheck. …

OMFG … I’m back bitches!
{applause}
I know :: I was gone for a longish time … and you missed me muchly. How were you supposed to remember not to put your tongue on the hot stove without me around to fake robotic fake mother you?
{applesauce}
I know.
Oh well :: I’m sure you’ll be fine … time heals all {tongue} wounds. I was never particularly interested in what you had to say with your tongue anyway. Why listen to you … when we could be listening to me instead?
Right?
I know.
Bad time for me to …

Is Herbalife a pyramid scheme?
It’s a good :: and fair … question to be asking if you find yourself enmeshed in a sticky stinky web of Herbalife’s outright fucking lies. Google gets asked the question so often :: that many unicorn distributors focus their marketing attention on phrases like “Herbalife Scam” … rather than on more positive phrases like “Herbalife Formula 1 Wild Berry™ FTW!”
But if you’re a journalist asking that question :: then you’re not a journalist … and don’t let society’s lazy labeling convince you otherwise.

“Is Herbalife a …

Tomorrow Herbalife CEO Michael Johnson :: and his saggy band of morally culpable senior executives … are due to present their fake company’s response to Bill Ackman’s truth {and money} attack on their fucking obvious pyramid scheme.
Strange that it takes more than two weeks for the country’s highest paid CEO to come up with a decent {or not} defense to such a direct challenge on the legality of his business model :: but I guess he’s really busy coming up with neat new flavors for low-end shake mix … or something.
According to …

Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!
But seriously.
Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.
-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. The fake claims used to be bold enough to occasionally irritate the FDA into partial action :: but by now the product claims are more like … “comes in nine flavors …

PZ Myers is an evil fucking scumbag.
Maybe not actually. That’s a bit too exciting.
Redundant dirtbag :: or derivative {saggy} dickbag … are probably both more accurate.
The Internets tell me that PZ Myers is an “outspoken atheist” :: which I think probably sounds something like this …

“There is no God … and we can’t let him win.”

I guess outspoken atheists do things like making a Hajj to Kentucky’s The Creation Museum :: where they walk around pointing at things they don’t believe in with a vending-machine-potato-chip fueled sense of superiority. Oh and of course Dinosaur rides :: available even to those with diminished …

Newt in 2012!!
Wait :: what did I just say?
What the fuck is a newt? Are they dangerous? Is this what the Mayan and their sadistic calendars were trying to warn us about?
OMG :: RUN!!
No stop running :: or stay not running if you were already a doubter.
It’s just Newt Gingrich and his marshmallow orgy jowl sacks.

Newt’s running for President because he has no self-awareness. Newt cheated on his wife while hounding another douche for doing the same. It’s called inexcusable hypocrisy :: and you ain’t supposed to be able to show your …

Josh Fredrickson was living the life of a top tier Internet Marketer.  He no longer lived with his mother {allegedly} :: and he was the sole creator of the hit website joshf.org :: which was getting literally dozens of clicks per year :: and bringing in enough fat cash for him to comfortably feed his two cats {She-she and Mr. BigglesBottom}.  Massive prosperity was right around the corner.  But just to keep from getting bored while he waited patiently for his rainbow shitting unicorn to show up :: he took …

Josh and Megan Fredrickson :: two beautiful humanitarians looking to make the world a better place.  Do they sometimes have to cover up a death {or four} to finish the world changing work of the fake lord? Megan: “I, uh, no, I mean maybe, I don’t quite … yeah … okay totally! But just a few small ones. Is it cold in here … or is that just my soullessness?”
Megan and Josh have been with J-Ray since way back in the day.  A rumor {just started by me} says that …