R u Rippln?
One ripple creates another ripple in a beautiful sequence of ever repeating ripples until :: !!boom!! … holy fucking shit you’re so fucking rich right now. You make Warren Buffet look like Ed Dale :: and all you had to do was sign up for a free app … or something … it totally works.
According to the lie-marketing :: Rippln is going to be bigger than Facebook + Twitter … so text your mom about this opportunity right away.

“In fact, some are saying it’s the biggest breakthrough since email.”

In fact :: …

Internet Marketer :: and top Herbalife distributor :: Shawn Dahl … has a real thing for his mother-in-law {pictured above left}. Well :: maybe not her so much … as her scamtacular business ideas. Before Dahl met his mastermind mother-in-law :: his best scamming idea involved becoming a middling real estate agent in the Siberian province of Vancouver.
The money in real estate was good :: but the lifestyle was a grind. Or :: the money in real estate was no good … and Shawn and Nicole were living paycheck to paycheck. …

OMFG … I’m back bitches!
{applause}
I know :: I was gone for a longish time … and you missed me muchly. How were you supposed to remember not to put your tongue on the hot stove without me around to fake robotic fake mother you?
{applesauce}
I know.
Oh well :: I’m sure you’ll be fine … time heals all {tongue} wounds. I was never particularly interested in what you had to say with your tongue anyway. Why listen to you … when we could be listening to me instead?
Right?
I know.
Bad time for me to …

Is Herbalife a pyramid scheme?
It’s a good :: and fair … question to be asking if you find yourself enmeshed in a sticky stinky web of Herbalife’s outright fucking lies. Google gets asked the question so often :: that many unicorn distributors focus their marketing attention on phrases like “Herbalife Scam” … rather than on more positive phrases like “Herbalife Formula 1 Wild Berry™ FTW!”
But if you’re a journalist asking that question :: then you’re not a journalist … and don’t let society’s lazy labeling convince you otherwise.

“Is Herbalife a …

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.
… or something.
It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer” … having had no real legal experience before becoming Utah’s chief legal officer. Unless you count losing elections and lobbying for the payday loan …

Tomorrow Herbalife CEO Michael Johnson :: and his saggy band of morally culpable senior executives … are due to present their fake company’s response to Bill Ackman’s truth {and money} attack on their fucking obvious pyramid scheme.
Strange that it takes more than two weeks for the country’s highest paid CEO to come up with a decent {or not} defense to such a direct challenge on the legality of his business model :: but I guess he’s really busy coming up with neat new flavors for low-end shake mix … or something.
According to …

Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!
But seriously.
Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.
-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. The fake claims used to be bold enough to occasionally irritate the FDA into partial action :: but by now the product claims are more like … “comes in nine flavors …

Kevin Trudeau’s Global Information Network is a scam :: a big fat ugly scam … or to translate that into the language of local television news …
“Is Kevin Trudeau’s Global Information Network a scam?”
Kansas City’s NBC affiliate :: Action 41 … is on the case.
“Is Action 41 on the case?”
Stop doing that now.
“Will I stop doing this now? Some say yes, while others, say no.”
Oh local news … god you’re stupid and useless.
“Will a local television affiliate start off a story about an infomercial scammer by disclosing how dependent their own business model …

President Obama :: and his The Choom Gang having ass … wins a second term … and promptly moves the Capital 2 Seattle.
W00t! … what a fucking relief.
Fake robots don’t care about the politics of politics :: but let’s face the facts here people … Mitt Romney is from Scamworld. That article on The Verge :: or this one on Mother Jones :: or this one on Salon :: or this crap right here on The Droid about the kid torturing assholes … barely even touch the surface of it.
It’s scary …

Lying is how assholes get sex. Most people won’t have sex with an asshole on purpose :: so assholes have evolved various guises and disguises to cloak their wretched stink from nice people for just long enough to steal a one night stand … or a short and ill-fated marriage that your mother totally tried to warn you against but you wouldn’t listen because he said he wanted to start an orphanage someplace fucking awful … like New Jersey.
It’s not cool {or okay even} to lie someone out of their …