Anthony Morrison’s Television Internets

 

Anthony Morrison uses the television to tell people about how HUGE he is on the Interwebs. But most Internet people :: like you people :: have never heard of him. Loving the Internet really cuts into time spent watching shitty 3am infomercials … and fake web-star Morrison has almost no real web presence.

The infomercial is a fake show hosted by Chicken Soup for the Hole dipshit Mark Victor Hansen {pictured here mounting Anthony for reasons I’d better not get into}.

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StomperNet LIVE 11 DEAD

I hope you enjoyed StomperNet LIVE 11 :: it was the best LIVE event ever! Because it was canceled six days before it was scheduled to happen.

{tears of infinite sadness}

Gosh :: I’m going to miss printing incredibly lame StomperNet emails … it’s like a fake robot family tradition.

Hello ,

We know how much you were looking forward to StomperNet LIVE 11 next week in Phoenix. 

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Jolly Jeremy Johnson Jailed

Smile big for your rich mommy! She so proud …

Jeremy Johnson’s mugshot :: courtesy of The Salt Lake Tribune :: and by “courtesy” I mean … I took it!

Oh my heck {Mormon swearing} :: it’s Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.  I’ll bet I know what he’s doing in this picture … nothing.

Because nothing is his job …

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Bob Proctor :: Lanny Morton :: Six Minute Suck{cess}

Lanny Morton is Bob Proctor’s Josh Fredrickson.

If you’re an avid reader of this fake robot blog :: then that description makes total fucking sense to you {pat yourself on the back!}.

If you’re not an avid reader :: then it makes no sense. But who really gives a shit about you anyway? You can’t spare an hour a week for reading fake robots?

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Dr. Tony Alessandra :: Speaker’s Homicide

Dr. Tony Alessandra is a “professional” speaker :: and he definitely does not live in a van down by the river … too many crackheads down there. It’s best to keep the van on the move :: maybe take your under-appreciated daughter on a road trip to a beauty pageant with someone from The Daily Show. Stuff like that. There’s lots of great things to do with a van you happen to be living in :: this whole “down by the river” 

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