Internet Marketer :: and top Herbalife distributor :: Shawn Dahl … has a real thing for his mother-in-law {pictured above left}. Well :: maybe not her so much … as her scamtacular business ideas. Before Dahl met his mastermind mother-in-law :: his best scamming idea involved becoming a middling real estate agent in the Siberian province of Vancouver.
The money in real estate was good :: but the lifestyle was a grind. Or :: the money in real estate was no good … and Shawn and Nicole were living paycheck to paycheck. …

Fake robot :: year four … totally done already!
My goal for 2012 was to rid the world of evil … so that’s a fail.
But I did achieve some lesser objectives …
– I wrote a song about a manatee and some twinkies
– I made a hit movie for a maker of hit movies
– I hated a book
– I incited an uprising
– I pissed off some more lawyers
– I slapped a state in the face
 … shit like that.
Three of the most popular posts this year …
– Elevation Prohpets
– Frank Kern in Scamworld
– …

President Obama :: and his The Choom Gang having ass … wins a second term … and promptly moves the Capital 2 Seattle.
W00t! … what a fucking relief.
Fake robots don’t care about the politics of politics :: but let’s face the facts here people … Mitt Romney is from Scamworld. That article on The Verge :: or this one on Mother Jones :: or this one on Salon :: or this crap right here on The Droid about the kid torturing assholes … barely even touch the surface of it.
It’s scary …

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?
Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?
Shirly those two questions are equivalents?
Was that last question a question?
Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose mission is all about smearing turds all around everywhere turd style … is pretty sure you need this sex tape in your life.

“We watch this footage because it’s something we’re not …

BlogWorld & New Media Expo co-founder and CEO Rick Calvert needs me to be wrong :: because if I’m right … then he and his sham of a scam disguised as a convention are very much part of an ugly and shameful problem. But I fucking doubt I’m wrong :: which is why instead of agreeing to give a BlogWorld keynote … I scared Rick Calvert away with some super easy questions.
Rick likes thinking about tacos :: not about his own culpability in the suffering of others … so he was none to pleased …

Brain poisoning manipulator Jeff Walker is product launching his Product Launch Formula for the fifty-thousandth time :: but this time it’s different … because this time the all new PLF is thrice dipped in shit. That’s more than twice the previous once!
… and you can too!
You can read Syndicate member :: and obvious scammer … Jeff Walker’s sales page for PLF.3.ShitDip over on Forbes …

Yes — it’s a new day when a common man barely earning enough to scrape by and feed his family can leverage the Internet into an empire responsible for $400 …

Someone told Leonard Coldwell’s Facebooks about my article about how Leonard Coldwell is the fucking worst. He left it up most of the weekend while he was busy bootcamping his champions™ :: because along with being an idiot … he’s basically a computer illiterate.
But Mr. Shorty McPervyPants finally figured it out :: and replaced the truths with a totally sensible FAPB {facebook all peeps bulletin} …

“$ 500 reward for the first one that gives me the real full name ( identity ) and address of this Salty Droid loser. Plus …

Sometimes I’ve tried to be fucking funny about how The Secret has ruined :: and ended … people’s lives. Mike Filsaime and Andy Jenkins think I’m the comedy bomb … but I’m not sure I can compete with these girls.
You can’t fucking compete with AmericanGirls :: that’s the lesson of recent events … U – S – A … U – S – A … etc.
Also :: I’m Hitler … and here’s my home address …

… as long as we’re talkin’ about my hood …
Please check out Panozzo’s authentic Italian/Chicago Market …

BlogWorld New Media Expo Cofounder & CEO Rick Calvert {he insists that you call him by his full title on all occasions} … was born in a small stupid town that sat right outside a slightly larger stupid town. Rick always wanted to live in the slightly larger stupid town {where all the good people lived} :: but his family was too poor … they could barely afford to keep the goats. Rick’s mother was an Oompa-loompa :: and his father a failed professional bowler … hopelessly addicted to sniffing shoe glue. …

The first confesstimonial was a big hit :: and in a more interesting than usual comment stream … it spawned the second confesstimonial. Once your blog posts start producing progeny :: you can retire to the beach to live the tanned twinkie lifestyle … fact.
The video is The Vergecast from the morning the Scamworld article printed. It’s pretty funny to listen to real Internet experts laughing about fake Internet experts :: and then Danny Sullivan calls in to ruin my laughter … but I’ve let go of that anger now because …