Last week :: the FTC filed an amended complaint in the case against one of Utah’s {via New York City} worst boiler rooms … The Tax Club. The new complaint seems aimed at shoring up the government’s argument that the dozens of shell companies :: merchant accounts :: and bank accounts involved … were all in service of the same fraudulent scheme … and that most of the profits from that scheme had flowed through to just two assholes.
Michael Savage and Tedd Johnson … d-bags extraordinaire.
According to the complaint :: The Tax Club fraud scheme was …

Tomorrow Herbalife CEO Michael Johnson :: and his saggy band of morally culpable senior executives … are due to present their fake company’s response to Bill Ackman’s truth {and money} attack on their fucking obvious pyramid scheme.
Strange that it takes more than two weeks for the country’s highest paid CEO to come up with a decent {or not} defense to such a direct challenge on the legality of his business model :: but I guess he’s really busy coming up with neat new flavors for low-end shake mix … or something.
According to …

BlogWorld New Media Expo Cofounder & CEO Rick Calvert {he insists that you call him by his full title on all occasions} … was born in a small stupid town that sat right outside a slightly larger stupid town. Rick always wanted to live in the slightly larger stupid town {where all the good people lived} :: but his family was too poor … they could barely afford to keep the goats. Rick’s mother was an Oompa-loompa :: and his father a failed professional bowler … hopelessly addicted to sniffing shoe glue. …

I didn’t write this post :: but I made up the word “confesstimonial” {because making up words is my long tail SEO strategy} … so 100% of the internet monies from this post will go to me {or maybe to Arianna Huffington}. I plan to invest most of those monies in silver … so that’s just stacking wins on top of wins for me right there.
Confesstimonials are first hand accounts from people with direct personal knowledge of these terrible situations. They’d like to speak out and litter the internets with …

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{awkward crickets}
>> bleep bloop

Card fighting is a popular way for nerds to resolve their differences :: it’s much like the traditional Alexander Hamilton style pistol dueling … except that nobody dies and you are still free/encouraged to eat lots of fucking Cheetos.
Aaron Wall {AWOL} had some Internet personalities {term used loosely} converted into lego cards for his SEOBook … because that’s exactly what the robot gods wanted to happen for sure. This could have been my idea :: and for the record … I resent other people for having ideas I wish I …

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”
… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.
Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.
Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: just ask anyone who has ever come within sniffing distance of her grandma pants. She’s mean :: and cruel … and in a surprise to no one who’s read a single …

Are you a soul-destroying scammer who’s irritated by the constitutional rights of the little people?
So annoying!
Are you worried that all your boiler room monies are going to run out now that you’ve burned every fucking bridge in Madison County?
Stupid bridges!
Then Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease :: Attorneys-at-Scam can help! At Vorys {pronounced voyeurs} … we believe in your right to fuck over the little guy. If the little guy deserved to have rights … then he’d already have enough money to hire his own whore law firm.  Am I right?
Of course …

The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.
Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.
Per the usual :: the …

Something wicked this way comes.
Mark Shurtleff is not my father … SEO.
I’ll hint to you about secrets if you listen close. {closer} … {closer}
Mark Shurtleff mostly uses his Twitter account to illustrate his old man ignorance.
That’s not the hint :: that was just a sentence about Mark Shurtleff’s ignorance :: Mark Shurtleff’s Twitter ignorance to be more specifically SEO.
There’s a battle looming in the salt flats … it’s gonna be like Armageddon with 3.2% “beer” and the missionary position. If you care about hating badguys :: then follow me to Utah {did …