Turtles are like the only cute reptile … but that doesn’t mean that you can trust them. Some turtles are real assholes.

Out-of-control bastard turtles is something the lamestream media refuses to cover … too busy sucking off the frogs one supposes. No matter :: picking up the slack for sloppy :: lazy :: useless fucks is what I do … right Dateline?

Anywayz :: video of turtles fighting! {music by The Capstan Shafts}

>> FTW!!!

Speaking of turtles … as I just was … just now … right above this here. Turtles … remember? God your stupid!

Anywayz again :: they’ve featured here before … Graphic Turtles

… and probably will again. Better watch your fucking back{shells} turtles!

>> bleep bloop

Related posts:

1. The Teeny Tiny Tyrant
2. David Schirmer Dating The Droid!!
3. The Sometimes Useful FTC

An anonymous citizen sent me a video :: thank you citizen. I fixed it up a bit :: made it shorter :: and added the d-bag theme song … but it was otherwise not my handy work.

Irwin F. Kern speaking at he and Ed Dale’s “Underachiever” seminar in the loathsome and marsupial bespeckled land of Australia :: circa 2004.

Irwin explains how he got started in Internet Marketing. It’s an inspirational story … like the virgin birth. Except replace the virgin with a dead hooker … and replace the baby Jesus with the rights to reprint a Yanik Silver e-book.

According to Irwin :: Frank hadn’t made a penny online before he put up the Instant Internet Empires site in 2001.  The archive of the site can be found here {sometimes}. In spite of Irwin’s complete lack of success :: Frank starts the sales letter off with a six figure income claim {and a hideous grammar error!} …

… and ends with an FTC action.

“Instant Internet Empires” touted the money-making potential of five pre-packaged Internet businesses, promising that buyers could make more than $115,000 a year using the product. According to the FTC, for their $47.77 investment, consumers received the right to reproduce the defendants’ Web site and the right to try to resell its contents to other consumers. The FTC alleged that to achieve the promised $115,000 in earnings, consumers each would have to sell the product to 2,400 additional consumers, who would each need to sell to 2,400 additional consumers to achieve the same earnings, and so on. According to the FTC, by the third generation of the scheme, participants would need to make a total of 13,829,760,000 sales, more than twice the earth’s population, for each of them to achieve the advertised earnings.

Frank didn’t make four figures online until he started lying about making six.

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. Picture of Frank Kern
2. Frank Kern :: Pissy Plotless Plotting
3. Frank Kern List Control Bonus

The Syndicate.

That’s what they call themselves.  The Syndicate.  Like if they built a fucking tree house {which they probably did} :: then they used a wood burner to carve that name over the extra wide door. The Syndicate. “Look Mom we named our club! It’s a name and a description … we’re super smart like that.”

The Syndicate is a cartel at the center of the get rich quick world of Internet Marketing. Each of the members tries to pass himself off as a freewheeling entrepreneur. An individual rising above :: a rogue :: fighting back against the workaday ways of our corpo-centric suburbanized society. Each sells a version of this easy freedom in a bottle to seekers … the sadder the seeker … the better. But the dream :: like the cake :: is a lie. Success in “the industry” correlates not with value :: individuality :: or effort … but with proximity to a toxic core whose basic operations constitute a serious felony and moral failing.

The Syndicate keeps prices high :: and dissent low. The Syndicate all but eliminates marketplace competition. Individuals or businesses inside of Internet Marketing who act against the interests of The Syndicate risk their financial futures. The Syndicate uses tough :: tasteless :: and intimidating tactics to defend against what it sees as threats to its unrightful domain. Many know about The Syndicate but are afraid to speak for fear of reprisals. Most do not know … but are never the less deeply affected by the cultural tone set by the group.

The Droid has known about The Syndicate for more than a year. Readers who have found my targeting system perplexing can now bask in the sweet light of understanding.  Most of my actions have been in some way calculated to damage and/or undermine the cohesion and effectiveness of this nasty little club of cheater cheater pumpkin eaters. And while publicly exposing :: and naming the names :: of individuals involved in a secret crime is a tricky and risky business {even for a badass robot} … I have long been sowing the seeds of social disturbance in private.

The delay in printing the story was about caution :: detail accumulation and verification :: and various still secret strategies. But mostly it was about me knowing that you wouldn’t believe me. I’m just a success hater on a witch hunt … blah blah blah. I needed someone reputable who had first hand knowledge to go on the record :: rather than my normal accumulation of publicly available evidence. There haven’t been any takers for my “Hey :: why not shoot yourself in the face?” offer.

Meanwhile :: The Syndicate knows I know … because I told them. Lots of times :: and in lots of fun {for me!} and spunky ways. They likely don’t understand the full gravity of the situation … but sleep has been lost … and many a plan has been changed. Perhaps it was this unsettling fear of my knowledge … and the growing sense of mutiny {which I have been seeding!} … that led Frank Kern to make a horrible mistake … or maybe his narcissism has fully consumed his intelligence. I don’t know :: but whatever the cause :: Frank Kern and The Syndicate fucked up massively.

Here :: from the last “module” of List Control :: is Frank Kern’s own description of The Syndicate.  It’s inexplicably packaged as advice you should apply to your own business! If you know anything about antitrust law … your jaw is about to hit the fucking floor.  And if you don’t know anything about antitrust law … don’t worry … cause after the video I’m gonna splain it to ya.

Thanks Irwin Frank Kern :: that really made my job a hell of a lot easier.

America’s antitrust laws :: aka “competition laws” :: are old :: broad :: and vicious. The Sherman Antitrust Act :: still the governing statute :: was passed in 1890. Here is the language of its main provision :: 15 U.S.C. § 1 …

“Every contract, combination in the form of trust or otherwise, or conspiracy, in restraint of trade or commerce among the several States, or with foreign nations, is declared to be illegal. Every person who shall make any contract or engage in any combination or conspiracy hereby declared to be illegal shall be deemed guilty of a felony, and, on conviction thereof, shall be punished by fine not exceeding $100,000,000 if a corporation, or, if any other person, $1,000,000, or by imprisonment not exceeding 10 years, or by both said punishments, in the discretion of the court.”

Many cool kids think this statute is shit because it could be read to include almost anything. But for more than a hundred years these cool kids have been ignored … as amendments to The Act tended to make it even more powerful. The statute has civil provisions which enables individuals {like harmed consumers} to sue with the possibility of triple damages and attorney’s fees.  Additionally :: each State has its own laws broadly prohibiting anti-competitive behavior … and the FTC has special enforcement and rule making powers.

Capitalism CANNOT tolerate non-competition :: and the consequences are correspondingly severe.

Frank’s explanation of The Syndicate is a textbook description of anti-competitive behavior! Set up a meeting in a hotel room with your main competitors and think of ways you can help each other make more money? Why in fucks name would you say that into a camera?

At one point in his confession Frank says you shouldn’t use your little anti-competitive club for things like price fixing or market division. Cause that would be wrong. And he’s right about that … you shouldn’t do those things.  Those are considered “per se” violations of the law … and it makes the plaintiff or government’s case a breeze.

Market division usually refers to dividing customers by geography. I’ll take Brazil … you take Rwanda. Such arrangements keep supply low :: competition low :: and prices high.

Another way to divide a market is over time … like making sure your product launches and advertising messages don’t overlap … something Frank says you should be doing. The Syndicate keeps a “launch calendar” :: it’s made out well in advance at one of their many meetings. Each member launches a product over an unnaturally short period … keeping supply artificially low. Other members agree not to compete during that time … and to heavily cross promote regardless of the quality of the product.

It looks like this on an Alexa graph …

These are the traffic spikes from the launches of five recent Syndicate frauducts. Andy Jenkins :: Frank Kern :: John Reese :: Jeff Walker :: and Ryan Deiss.  This same precise pattern can be traced back to 2005{ish} … no competition allowed!

But what about price fixing? She’s the mother of all bad things. If you’re price fixing … you’re fucked! Period. Even if you only control a small part of a small market … if you get caught agreeing with your competitors to keep prices high … you’re fucked. Out one side of his stupid mouth Frank says “don’t do anything crazy like fix prices” … out the other stupid side he says the whole point of The Syndicate is making lots of money over a short period … and being able to charge “premium” prices.

Unfortunately for Frank and the rest of The Syndicate d-bags … no matter what they may say … the price fixing is so blatantly obvious as to be laughable. If you’ve been around this blog for more than a couple of weeks you already know the current price point … $2000.

Mike Filsaime is next up on The Syndicate launch calendar.  Here’s a bit from a recent email he sent out promoting his launch to potential JV’s …

“It will follow the launch style, price point, and course delivery of:

- List Control
- Video Boss
- PLF 2.0
- Outsource Force
- Mike Koenigs last crushing launch.

All of the launches had the same thing in commons.

TOP LEVEL need. Easy message. Similar price Point,
and a need for the marketer to know the information etc.”

First :: that’s not English … it must be a rough translation from garbled Gnome.

Second :: sounds like price fixing to me!

But this situation isn’t just about violations of law. It’s a moral and ethical betrayal of the highest order. The Syndicate :: the “A-Team” :: makes ALL the money. The affiliates :: the “B-Team” {also the primary customers} are led to believe that they too can walk a path to easy riches … but the members of the A-Team know that members of the B-Team only exist to amplify the hype … and to open up their wallets to pay extremely high prices for goods of little to no value.

{word limit exceeded}

… much more to follow.

It’s time for a change.

>> bleep bloop

PS – There are no ladies in The Syndicate.

Related posts:

1. The Syndicated Comments
2. Frank Kern’s Traitor Union
3. Goodbye Internet Marketing

You know what I like?

No … you don’t!

It’s a rhetorical question :: so don’t bother answering you arrogant fucking prick. This blog ain’t about you :: and me :: and Polly PrissyPants sitting down for a lovely cup o’ tea {distinctive Earl Gray!} and having girl chat about our favorite things.

You :: “Didn’t you just love blah blah blah’s collection of summer dresses?”

FakeMe :: “Oh it was absolutely fabulous! The vibrant colors and rich textures really brought the whole thing to life for me. I hope we can expect the same level of originality and artistry from the September collection.”

OMG I hate you … and FakeMe … let’s never speak again.

However :: I do like some things … like tea parties with Polly PrissyPants when you’re not around to spoil the conversation …

How quaint :: a Tea Party that’s not all about backward ass racism. Leave it to Eric Cartman … demagogue of racially sensitive speech.

Also :: I like foxes! By which I don’t mean good looking ladies not quite old enough to be cougars. No! Actual fucking foxes :: triangular ears … bushy tails … puffy puffy faces!  OMG too cute {overloading}!

… which is why someone needed to stop Fuck You, Penguin in the worst way.  Listen to this deplorable anti-fox hate speech regarding the above king of cute …

“I just want you people to drink in this world-class douchebag known as the Tibetan Fox. Have you ever seen such a holier-than-thou fucking look on a non-dolphin before? I’m not one for slapping foxes, as I generally think they know what they’ve done, but this one really has that look, like the asshole boyfriend of the girl the main guy wants in an 80s movie.”

Intolerable! Fortunately for the dignity of the world’s most adorable creatures … Fuck You, Penguin was driven off the Internet in late 2009. The official story :: told here for the first time :: is that he was frightened into silence by a shit talking robot sworn to protect the sanctity of puffy animals. But unreliable innuendo blames the vanishing act on a book deal. Whatever! :: books are for assholes and gays … because gays read a lot of books … that’s a stereotype I just started. Fucking gays and their fucking books … they should go back to their own country where mint juleps are served at the library.

And also this …

… if you don’t think that’s funny :: you’re dead to me. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Hyperbole and a Half is the Muhammad of Internet comedy. Or would it? Maybe I shouldn’t be talking about Muhammad … but it’s too late now … I can’t think of any way to take it back.

Hyperbole and a Half is like a comic strip / blog / crazy person’s memoir … and it’s super terrific. Go read all of her posts and attribute the fond feelings it generates in your soft shell of a heart back to me {I desire and deserve them}.

And watch out for dramatic cats …

… a great reason to own a retarded dog.

{end positivity sequence}

Good times … good times. Remember when we talked about things I like? Precious fucking moments. We bonded … I feel like … maybe some time later we can go horseback riding together or something. I’ll call you.

Now back to our regular programing :: things I definitely don’t like.

I don’t like how an illegal cartel is the dominating force in Internet Marketing. I don’t like how it destroys people. I don’t like how it destroys the already slim chances that honest business people have at success. I don’t like how it creates an unstoppable race to the morality bottom. I think it’s time to start talking openly about it …

{suspenseful accent sound!}

… I think it’s time to start doing something about it.

{dramatic accent sound!}

See you on Thursday bitches!

>> bleep bleep bleep {oh snap! … three fucking bleeps! … it must be on now!}

Related posts:

1. Just Like My Party

Four teams left in the 2010 FIFA World Cup :: Four fucktards left in the 2010 Salty Droid World Cup.

“All the teams are trying their hardest so it’s too darn bad that not everyone can win” :: says some stupid lady.  Shut the fuck up stupid lady!  If everyone won :: then it wouldn’t be called winning :: and no one would want to do it! What fun would it be to win if you’d never lost? And as a follow up question :: is it fun to win? I wouldn’t know :: but it must be fucking great {simulated sobbing!}. Alas :: well there’s always next year.  Oh wait :: no there isn’t :: next year will be just another year to spend mulling over this year’s humiliating losing.

The four non-losing teams :: the four always losing fucktards :: and four videos … because I know you losers hate reading …

Uruguay only has 3.5 million people :: making it about as populous as Oregon {though with a much lower density of useless unvaccinated hippies}.  Uruguay is often called “the taint” of South America because it’s located beween two important parts {Argentina and Brazil :: the genitals and asshole of this analogy} :: everyone knows it’s there but people don’t really like to talk about it.  The Uruguayans last won the World Cup in 1930 1950 :: long before the invention of shoes. I think … maybe … don’t quote me.

Speaking of having no idea what you’re talking about … Dr. Phil.  He’s not a therapist :: but he plays one on TV. He’s not not-fat :: but he’d love to sell you a book about losing weight. Can’t read diet books written for adults because you recently lost 50 IQ points in a James Ray Death Lodge?  No problem :: buy Phil’s son Jay’s teen diet book.  Jay’s Dad was once on Oprah … so you know he knows all there is to know about pediatric health.

“Jay talks directly to teens and young adults in a way to which they can relate. Jay gets it and he knows how to give it to them straight. The result is a book that can do what teens all over have been looking for — a way to totally transform their bodies, minds, and lives.”

What Jay “gets” is that credibility can be manufactured :: and that sad people can be exploited by the willing.  Just cause Daddy does it … that doesn’t make it okay.

The Netherlands have never won the World Cup in spite of having many super awesome teams over the years. This seems to have led to a widespread outbreak of I’m a Pussy Syndrome {IPS} :: wherein shameless Dutch douche bags roll around on the ground crying out in fake pain whenever a little grass gets on their face or someone blows particularly hard on a Vuvuzela. If they can wipe the tears from their eyes :: and stay on their feet :: this might just be their year.

Tony Quinn is hoping that the Dutch flop their way to failure once again. His puffy Irish head has long since lost its luster :: and he can ill afford anymore PR nightmares …

Spain has also never won the World Cup in spite of having some great teams. I could make jokes about how they better do it soon before they default on their debts and bring the whole fucking world down with them … but I won’t {unless I just did}. Let’s worry about their insolvency and looming demographic disaster later … after THEY WIN this fucking Cup.  Go Spain!

If Spain makes the final they will be broadcast in America on ABC.  Joe Vitale beat them to the punch appearing on ABC last week. Joe :: rather than playing stylish football :: was making himself look like a fat fucking clown :: it’s what he’s best at. Here’s some incredibly boring “behind the scenes” footage of the ABC shoot posted by Joe before he realized that he’d just been pwned. Watch it now if you like watching incredibly boring stuff …

Last :: and the opposite of least :: Germany.

I’m rooting for a German victory.  That’s not a sentence I see myself uttering nonironically :: EVER! Maybe it has something to do with the TWO times that they :: and their festering cabbage :: started wars that fuck near destroyed the whole Earth.  And by “maybe” I mean “definitely” :: that’s definitely why.  Fuck you Germany! Robots never forget.  Plus :: stop winning the World Cup all the time :: I’m pretty sure it’s racist of you.

However :: NONE of the fucktards competing for The Salty Droid World Cup are more deserving of my attention than Tony Robbins. How can someone be seen as legitimate when they have such a scandalous record of failure and misdeeds? More times than I’d care to count someone has offered me Tony Robbins as “proof” that James Arthur Ray is an okay guy. “But Droid :: if James Ray is a scammer then what does that make Tony Robbins?” Simple Answer :: IT MAKES HIM A FUCKING SCAMMER!!

Last March a reader embedded a Tony Robbins video into the comments …

The creepy from this video just won’t wash off. Is the Nazi symbolism intentional? I’ve heard some very bizarre things … maybe you’ll soon hear them as well.

So in a way … you know … I guess … OMG this brings me great pain … but … Go Germany!

>> bleep bloop

Related posts:

1. The Salty Droid World Cup
2. Joe Vitale’s Balls in a Cup
3. As the World Cups

Have you recently ::

• killed some people?
• raped the land?
• ruined the global economy?
• raped a goat? {inappropriate!}

How disastrous for your reputation :: you might need the “master of disaster” Mark Fabiani. He went to Harvard :: so you can be sure that his exorbitant fees aren’t a flagrant fucking ripoff.  Right?

Goldman Sachs hired Fabiani to help manage the growing public perception that they should be banished from the kingdom {probably without their heads!}.  So far he’s doing a great job … of taking their money and not producing results.  The Daily Show clip above shows Goldman losing the PR war to the Catholic Church … an accomplishment that requires more than your average amount of PR suck-a-tude.

James Arthur Ray hired Fabiani to spin the “accidental” deaths that he not-accidentally caused. Money rightfully belonging to Ray’s victims is flowing instead to Fabiani :: but he could give two shits about that. He believes in his own right to take money in ANY and ALL circumstances. No exceptions for stupid little bitches {like ethics :: or morality :: or human dignity … fuck all that crap!}. And what is Ray getting in return for the money he’s pissing away on Disastrous Fabiani?  Again :: it looks suspiciously like nothing.  Although maybe M.F. is dominating the story via telegraph and teletext :: two mediums not monitored by The Droid.

See Fabiani continue to fail this Tuesday night at 10 pm when ABC airs an hour long special that :: according to our friend Steve Salerno :: will be …

“devoted entirely to James Arthur Ray, magical thinking, and the oft-overlooked dangers of the New Age.”

Sounds like wishful thinking … but one can hope.

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. Mark Fabiani :: Whoring BlowHole
2. Fabiani’s Shriveled Sachs
3. Creating Absolute BullShit

>>

A few years ago NBC was all about dry humping James Arthur Ray. They :: and their lazy affiliates :: brought him on multiple times as an “expert” on finance :: or success :: or whatever the fuck.

“Oh James! You’re so steroid & fake tan adorable. Love me! Tell us all about the success of being an Oprah guest. Your book has the word wealth in the title :: what’s it like to have infinite wealth :: success :: and happiness? I think the viewers would love to know. Oh what’s that you say? You give free seminars? Super duper super duper! The good people of Minneapolis should get out and take advantage of that.”

Gag!  I guess they are too busy “to catching” predators to notice that they are FUCKING PROMOTING predators.

Partially owing to their negligent programing :: some much loved human beings lost their lives.  How about an NBC mea culpa?  How about an NBC reality check? Nah.  EIGHT long months later :: we get a story that cashes in on the drama of it all :: and opens like this …

“Tonight, for the first time, you’ll hear the inside story from some those who were there, as well as those whose loved ones never came home.”

Horah! You did it NBC! {massive fake applause!} Keep up the great work. God save The Fourth Estate!

On the upside :: the embedable video player at MSNBC is pretty pimp.  The whole episode is available above :: and in between clips it converts into a cool thumbnail viewer type thing.

The story lasted the full hour :: and it was interesting … and useful. But considering the amount of time that has past :: and the direct culpability of NBC in building up Death Ray’s fake celebrity :: I say this story was garbage.

1.  What about Colleen Conaway?  Not even worth a mention that Colleen died at one of this dipshit’s other seminars just three months prior to the DeathLodge?  Hey NBC :: don’t you watch television?  Cause some of your sisters in suck had this “Colleen dies at a JRI seminar” story seven months ago.

2.  Death Ray won’t talk to Dateline :: obviously.  He refuses to answer for himself.  So “his side” of the story is represented by the lame ass arguments made by his lawyers in the White Papers.  Why?  Those papers were drafted to try and convince law enforcers not to take action.  They weren’t intended to be public statements :: and they don’t pass the laugh test.  The government ended up bringing an even stronger charge than the charge the White Papers attempted to stave off.  Quoting from them now is ridiculous.  If he has no comment :: then he should get no fucking comment.

3.  So shallow.  They present this story like it’s a shark attack.  A human drama :: lives lost :: heroes :: villains :: survivors :: carnage.  It speaks to the shock and the horror :: but to none of the wider societal or circumstantial factors that made this tragic event possible.  This wasn’t some random freak event :: it was the calamity at the end of a long and pathetic road. Just gawking at the accident site itself is not going to move us forward :: and it’s not going protect future victims.

Anywayz :: NBC :: not impressed.

{end rant}

And now to the story within the story {always the better story} … from the transcript …

“Canadian businessman Dennis Mehravar went to one James Ray event after another, spending a total of close to $30,000 to immerse himself in Ray’s teachings.”

Here’s Dennis as shown on screen in a World Wealth Society T-shirt …

And here he is on JRI’s Flickr at the World Wealth Society New Year’s Gala.  You’ll notice that he’s pictured with Hermia Nelson :: who has been discussed here previously :: and who was still supporting Death Ray long after the chips fell. The World Wealth Society is a $60k per year item :: so maybe Dennis has given James a bit more money than he’s willing to admit to himself {or to Dateline}.  Or perhaps different people paid different prices for access to the “inner circle?”  I’d really love to know the answer to that question Dennis Mehravar :: Top Kitchener Ontario Real Estate Agent. In case you ain’t web savvy Dennis :: I just did you a big SEO favor.  You can thank me by answering my oh so insightful question.

Beverly Bunn mentioned something interesting that I hadn’t heard before.  She says that early on in the Spiritual Warrior event Ray started pushing other products :: one of which was priced at $25,000 {what product was that?}. That’s so disgusting :: and so exactly what you’d expect from an asshole ConMan.  She also mentioned that he was trying to sell his new book :: and NBC put up this image  …

The Sevens Laws of True Wealth :: Create the Life You Desire and Deserve

– To be, do, and have whatever you choose

– Live in harmony with proven principles

What a shame that this ghost written masterpiece of fluff won’t be released.  Here’s hoping his publisher lost some “true wealth” over it.

The text on the right shows him trying to sell these books in bulk.  Buy 100 and you can attend the Harmonic Wealth Weekend for free {O} :: plus have a conference call {M} :: and a … wait for it … video conference call {G!}.  But then you’re stuck with 100 really shitty books :: what to do?  Funny you should mention that :: have you ever considered starting your own business reselling other people’s ideas and making almost no money yourself?  You can you know.

It works like this :: you buy the books at wholesale above retail {WAR} prices.  In this case $25 per book :: well above retail.  Then you resell them at retail above retail {RAR}.  With RAR pricing you can add a profit margin for yourself of up to infinity :: as a way for the customer to thank you for your unnecessary middle manning. Sell a couple to your family and friends :: lose some money trying to sell them with PPC :: and then forget about it until you have to sell them all on ebay for $5 after your life falls apart and your cat kicks you out.

Always

Be

Closing

>> bleep bleep

Related posts:

1. James Arthur Ray’s Pre-crime Crimes
2. James Arthur Ray :: Manslaughterer
3. James Arthur Ray’s Television Favorites

Kim and Sandy :: it’s a love for the fucking ages.

What is it that makes them so compatible? What is the seed of their blossom?

They have much in common:

• wishing they were taller
• love of bouffant hairstyles and androgyny
• getting pleasure from the suffering of others
• wasting money like empty headed morons
• passion for Mickey Mouse / Naruto slash fiction
• helping drive people into poverty

But these are but the triflings of the mortal coil :: inadequately voiced.  A love this flamingly eternal could never truly be expressed via sarcastic bullet points :: or super sweet comic strips.

Video perhaps?

>> bleep bloop

Related posts:

1. Kim and Sandy :: Episode 1
2. Death Ray Speaketh :: Episode 2
3. Vacationing with Mike Filsaime

“Creating Absolute Wealth” :: it’s like creating relative wealth … only more impossibler.

Colleen Conaway died at James Arthur Ray’s Creating Absolute Wealth event last July in San Diego. It’s cool though … it wasn’t his fault.  The cover-up wasn’t about concealing guilt or anything :: it was just for fun.  You know how fun a good cover-up can be {like raping a lion} :: so when the opportunity presented itself … carpe diem mother fuckers … cover-up!

For reasons that only lame brain dick weed Mark Fabiani must understand :: Death Ray’s horrible promo video for that death bringing event is still up on his YouTube account {begging for a parody}.  It seems that tact and consideration aren’t among the virtues of which James has an “absolute” supply.

The Droid remix is in HD {Creating Absolute Resolution} :: so go watch it on YouTube where it looks all big and awesome and stuff.  Then come back here and ask me how it feels to ride my boundless talents to the top.  I’ll give you a hint :: it feels fine … just fine.

>> bleep bloop

Related posts:

1. Messages for the Dead
2. Death Ray Walks Away
3. Six Degrees of Deepak Chopra

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

Millions of days later God was like, “And let there be an Internet, because shit is getting boring around here,” and there was an Internet. God saw that the Internet was good, and he started calling it “the webz” because he’s a huge fan of icanhascheezburger.

But woe, cameth The Trolls.  And God saw that the trolls were not good and said, “OMG Lame! But really, what can I do? You people suck.”

Amen.

Related posts:

1. Death Ray Speaketh