Jekyll2021-07-17T17:52:04-04:00http://saltydroid.info/Salty DroidThe Salty Droid is an Anti-Scam robot that puts the smackdown on corrupt bad guys everywhereJason Jonessaltydroid@gmail.comRICO vs. Addy, et al.2020-09-28T00:00:00-04:002020-09-28T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/rico-vs-addy-et-al<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/herbalife-formula-1984.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>Let me catch you up on the <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/herbalife/">Herbalife story</a> so far…</p> <p>It’s the 80’s and people are really learning a lot about how much they love cocaine. This stuff is amazing… these people are amazing.</p> <p>“Oh my god, I just had such an amazing idea!!” says one of these amazing people. “Shouldn’t I be able to lose weight in a way that respects my love of stimulants?”</p> <p>Yes, of course. America. Capitalism, etc.</p> <p>“But, wait, while I’m losing weight couldn’t I also lose a shitload of money and make a tiny group of people stupefyingly wealthy for no particular reason?”</p> <!--jump--> <p>Again, yes, this is America. Team work makes the dream work… beast mode… ladyboss… let’s strip mine middle America!!</p> <p>Herbalife.</p> <p>You get it.</p> <p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/mark-hughes-scammer-vision.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>Skip ahead a bunch of decades, now it’s 2017, an <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/09/28/us/donald-trump-taxes-apprentice.html">MLM scammer</a> is the President of the United States and a very stupid Amway heiress is the Secretary of Education. Me, your inconsistent absentee narrator, and one of my all time most presentable friends, <a href="https://markmigdal.com/etan-mark">Etan Mark</a>, are suing Herbalife and forty-four of its top distributors over their aggressive live event system.</p> <p>Herbalife’s distributor “leadership” operates a nationwide event system that has victims attending full day (or multi-day) events every month of the year. These events are expensive, scandalously deceptive, programmatically addictive, and (imo) textbook RICO. Events suck people in too deep and keep them trapped for too long.</p> <p>In 2018, a federal court in Miami <a href="http://saltydroid.info/pdf/non-arbitration-order.pdf">split our case</a> into three pieces: individual arbitrations against Herbalife; a potential class action against Herbalife in Los Angeles; a potential class action against the distributor leadership in Miami.</p> <p>The leadership, using lawyers paid for by Herbalife, <a href="http://saltydroid.info/dismissively-appealing/">appealed</a> the ruling and argued that they should be allowed to enforce Herbalife’s arbitration agreements against the event attendees.</p> <p>I truly don’t understand why the leadership/Herbalife did this to themselves (they didn’t owe me a favor or anything). A federal appeal turns everything into such a big effing deal. Appeal opinions are basically law in America. If we win the appeal it could set a dangerous precedent for the whole multi-level marketing industry while <a href="https://www.barrons.com/articles/herbalife-faces-fresh-legal-hurdle-51601059300">attracting attention</a> that Herbalife doesn’t want or need — a SaltyDroid best case scenario type situation. And if we lose — whatever — same as it ever was.</p> <p>But that’s what they did… to themselves. Here are the papers:</p> <p class="center"><a href="/pdf/eleventh-circuit-brief1-rodgers-vs-addy.pdf">Appellants’ Opening Brief</a> <br /> <a href="/pdf/herbalife-appeal-answer-brief.pdf">Answer Brief of Appellees</a><br /> <a href="/pdf/herbalife-reply-not-brief.pdf">Appellants’ Reply Brief</a></p> <p>The “brief” part is a lie.</p> <p>Owing to an apocalypse, and rather anticlimactically, Etan (who argues all of our arguments) argued our case to the three judge panel in June, via teleconference. I was really looking forward to sitting with him in the fancy Atlanta courtroom; fighting for something you believe in with friends at your side is one of life’s best things. Watching a friend participate in a telephone conference through the appeals court’s YouTube feed is… also one of life’s things. Suck it 2020.</p> <p>On July 29th, the United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit ruled against Herbalife’s top distributors in a 3-0 <a href="/pdf/11th-cir-herbalife-opinion.pdf">published opinion</a>.</p> <p>The first two sentences of the court’s analysis section are essentially the whole thing:</p> <blockquote> <p>“The top distributors contend that under the plain language of the arbitration clauses, the aggrieved distributors agreed to arbitrate their claims against them. However, the top distributors have at least one major problem: None of them is a party to any of the distributor agreements they are attempting to invoke.”</p> </blockquote> <p>Well, now, that does sound like a problem.</p> <p>But there is one very narrow legalistic escape path — it’s called “equitable estoppel”. Courts are fond of describing equitable estoppel like this:</p> <blockquote> <p>The signatory cannot, on the one hand, seek to hold the non-signatory liable pursuant to duties imposed by the agreement, which contains an arbitration provision, but, on the other hand, deny arbitration’s applicability because the defendant is a non-signatory.</p> </blockquote> <p>It’s hard to state it simpler than that because it is not at all simple. But, you can’t sue on one provision of a contract while ignoring other provisions of the same contract.</p> <p>So does a suit against top distributor “tools” businesses — a critical component of most MLMs — fall under this narrow equitable exception?</p> <p>No.</p> <blockquote> <p>Here, there is no duty in the distributor agreements to participate in the Circle of Success enterprise, so the aggrieved distributors are not seeking to hold the top distributors liable pursuant to any duties imposed by the agreements. Thus, nothing about the aggrieved distributors’ suit against the top distributors would give the district court a reason to apply equitable estoppel.</p> </blockquote> <p>So, that’s that? Holy shit! We won and it kinda feels amazing. I think I’ll try to schedule myself for more of these wins in the future.</p> <p>Meanwhile, the California case against Herbalife corporate has been steadily advancing. We have hundreds of hours of event footage; hundreds of thousands of pages of documents; and we’ve conducted fourteen depositions. I took eight of those depositions myself and was present for every second of the other six. I forced myself to watch almost all of the god awful event footage — a trauma from which I will never recover. I’ve looked at something very close to all of the documents produced in the case, and tens of thousands of documents produced in side cases.</p> <p>When this case started I knew more about Herbalife than almost any other outsider in the history of the company (that’s not bragging, it’s sad). Now, I know more about Herbalife than most Herbalife insiders (sadder still). It’s totally bonkers to me that Herbalife is letting this happen… but I’m here for it.</p> <p>The next round begins when we file our amended complaint against the top distributors in the Southern District of Florida at the end of October.</p> <h6 class="center" id="a">a</h6>Jason JonesThis Sweet Life2020-06-24T00:00:00-04:002020-06-24T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/this-sweet-life<div class="video"><figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MVSBO_1_ntI" width="720" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></div> <p>Ginny Brown and her daughter Jean have written a touching and emotional book about their less-than-wonderful experience with James Arthur Ray killing their daughter/sister in a macabre death dome of Ray’s own demented devising.</p> <p>The book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/This-Sweet-Life-lived-after/dp/0578708795/">This Sweet Life</a>, is live on Amazon now. I had the privilege of reading a pre-release copy, and on June 30th, at 7:00 EST, I’ve agreed to participate in a Facebook live <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thissweetlifebook/">launch event</a> including a panel of people who were involved in this tragic disaster. I hope some of you will sign-in and listen.</p> <!--jump--> <p>Although, caveat, <a href="http://saltydroid.info/facebook-analytica/">delete your Facebook</a>. Facebook is evil garbage and it’s ruining the world. Get your mom to <a href="http://saltydroid.info/i-love-being-a-facebook-mom/">delete her Facebook</a>. Even if your <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/facebook/">Facebook</a> participation doesn’t directly contribute to the ruination of the world … yes it does. Don’t let them have your data. Don’t make the site appear less evil than it is by participating in it in a positive fashion. <a href="http://saltydroid.info/one-million-per-month/">No Facebook</a>. <a href="http://saltydroid.info/digital-mass-psychological-targeting/">Zero Facebook</a>.</p> <p>However, that said, I’ll do anything Ginny Brown asks me to do… including Facebook.</p> <p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/thissweetlifebook/"><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/kirby-brown-sweet-life.jpg" alt="" /></a></p> <p>Ginny wasn’t always a fan of this site. You might not be surprised to learn that SaltyDroid <em>circa</em> 2010 wasn’t a place where mothers went to mourn their babies. But Ginny and I talked more and more as the years passed. When the Brown family started to work on building <a href="https://www.seeksafely.org">SEEK Safely</a> we had several substantive chats. They went, basically, like this…</p> <blockquote> <p>Ginny: “Something should be done about the out of control self-help movement.”</p> <p>SD: “How about we burn it all to the ground?!?”</p> <p>Ginny: “No. Bad robot! It’s about education, reform, standards, and disclosure.”</p> <p>SD: “Okay, cool, but… what about burning it ALL to the fucking ground?”</p> </blockquote> <p>Last year we met for drinks while we were both in Los Angeles to film segments for the Oxygen true crime series, <a href="http://saltydroid.info/deadly-cults/">Deadly Cults</a>. Each of us wind-worn from struggle, I felt like our perspectives had converged a bit. This is hard, sad, work. I’m sure there is no one right way to fight this blight. It’s just the willingness to fight that matters, that contributes step-by-step – and the Browns have been willing. I know this book was hard to write.</p> <p>Each year before her own death, on the anniversary of the 1978 Jonestown massacre, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Singer">Margaret Thaler Singer</a> would attend a memorial service for the victims of that tragedy. She’d go early, stand alone, and try to center herself on the important reasons why she continued to study the issue. This image of Dr. Singer seeking inspiration while standing alone in a graveyard is always on my mind on October 8th when I remember Kirby, and James, and Liz, and Colleen… and I keep fighting – inspired by all the wonderful, hopeful, people I’ve had the privilege to stand with so far.</p>Jason JonesDeadly Cults2020-05-07T00:00:00-04:002020-05-07T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/deadly-cults<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/saltydroid-cult-busters.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>I agree with <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/donald-trump/">Donald Trump</a>.</p> <p>Not about much mind. Don’t drink bleach. There’s no way to get the light inside of your body. The worst pandemic in one hundred years is not a Democratic conspiracy/hoax. Mexicans aren’t rapists. There weren’t good people on both sides. There’s no such thing as a <em>stable</em> genius (as any legit genius could tell you). But, the news media <em>is</em> absolutely horrible. Horrible. The worst. Worse than lawyers… or, at least, co-worst.</p> <p>On that one thing myself and DJT can agree.</p> <!--jump--> <p>Case in point: Donald Trump is the fucking President. That bollox doesn’t happen without an absolutely rotten, hollowed out, conglomerated media (and the complicity of enough lawyers to fill a cargo ship from China). Trump is an obvious idiot… and an even more obvious conman. The only reason he’s anything other than a bankrupt former rich boy is that the media got played… over and over and over and over. Not because he’s good at it — he’s not — but because media organizations are lazy, selfish, and too easily identify with his pathological narcissism.</p> <p>Celebrity as credibility is our national affliction.</p> <p>What brought us Donald John Trump also brought us <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/james-arthur-ray/">James Arthur Ray</a>… and countless other dumbdumb world destroyers; faking it until they make it at faking it.</p> <p>I wish I could go all <a href="https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/nnqkxz/who-is-thomas-pynchon-and-why-did-he-take-off-with-my-life-198">Thomas Pynchon / J.D. Salinger</a> and opt-out of dealing with the media forever. It’s something I frequently threaten into the wind. But my writing is not good enough; I am not the recipient of a MacArthur Fellowship; and I’m trying to be a flipping digital activist over here… so I’m stuck with answering my phone whenever whoever from wherever calls me up.</p> <p>Sometimes it works out. The media, like the law, is full of really great people trying to accomplish something good inside of a system that is mostly bad.</p> <p>Season 2, Episode 1, of Deadly Cults — Spiritual Warriors.</p> <p><a href="https://www.oxygen.com/deadly-cults/season-2/episode-1/spiritual-warriors">On Oxygen</a>…</p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B087D7883G">On Amazon</a>…</p> <p><a href="https://play.google.com/store/tv/show?id=YyfyIeY3AzqJRy4LEa2NPg&cdid=tvseason-I9iZ_bi8lowhyITvHCNkZw&gdid=tvepisode-DPUPxgRwdP4">On Google</a>…</p> <p>The Senior Producer talked me into on camera participation via: a) exhibiting genuine compassion for the victims and their families, and b) badgering me.</p> <p>It’s been more than ten years since three people died in Death Ray’s fake sweat lodge. He’s out of jail and back pitching himself as, well, this is an unedited capture from his Instagram:</p> <p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/james-arthur-ray-modesty.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>So, yeah.</p> <p>This episode of the true crime series does an excellent job of encapsulating the death lodge debacle. You’re quite likely to be shocked even if you already know the story.</p>Jason JonesAlex Jones’ Big Back End2020-03-31T00:00:00-04:002020-03-31T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/alex-jones-big-back-end<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/alex-jones-devil-head.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>Alex Jones, in case you don’t know because you have lived a blessed life, is a conspiracy nut-job who has the blood pressure of a double bacon cheeseburger soaking in a 12 gallon vat of aged donkey lard.</p> <p>His many years of hate-rage haven’t worn well, leaving Jones looking like …</p> <p>… if Vladimir Putin ate another Vladimir Putin and then died in the back of a mini-van snorting cheese.</p> <p>… an oversized Dorian Gray blow-up doll of Alex Jones.</p> <p>… that one of your uncles — you know the one.</p> <!--jump--> <p>But I digress.</p> <p>… a racist bowling ball that was cursed by a witch to live a life without love.</p> <p>… a giant pickle that failed as a Batman villain.</p> <p>But seriously folks. I’m not just here to say that Alex Jones looks like a beard that grew a man and then regretted it.</p> <p>Okay, I’m done now.</p> <p>Alex Jones spent years using his big mouth to say that 9/11 was an inside job.</p> <p>Alex Jones spent years scream-arguing that the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre wasn’t real — the most ludicrous and hurtful conspiracy theory ever conspired by a conspiracy theorist.</p> <p>According to the overly dramatic narrator that I insist you now imagine, O.J. was innocent and the Moon was sent by Mars to spy on gay Brussel sprouts.</p> <p>The point is: It makes no difference what Jones says — he’s an idiot — what matters is what he sells. What’s the back-end? Because Jones, though vainglorious and intoxicated by attention, is saying this dumb stuff all but exclusively in service of selling his dumb stuff (to the tune of millions of dollars per year). Life’s not more complicated than that … people are mostly motivated by money.</p> <p>I started writing frequently about <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/herbalife/">Herbalife</a> because I was interested in how right wing radio was being harnessed to generate tens of thousands of new prospects for Herbalife’s illusory business opportunity. Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, <em>et al.</em> were running <a href="http://saltydroid.info/herbalife-at-home-online/">blatantly deceptive ads</a>, dozens of times a day, for what was a hyper-aggressive cloaked version of Herbalife.</p> <p>Conspiracist quackery, fear mongering, and modernity’s rudderless social media fascism are all rooted in blatant fucking scammery. Fighting back against scaled fraud would be the most effective way of beating back the world’s worst things (without implicating free speech concerns). Maybe these assholes believe some of the shite they spew (not likely), but their primary motivation is in the fleecing of America’s poor and middle classes.</p> <p>So to start this pandemic-pause series, let’s take apart Alex Jones’ back-end… one fraud turd at a time.</p>Jason JonesTwelve Years of Christmas2019-12-31T00:00:00-05:002019-12-31T00:00:00-05:00http://saltydroid.info/twelve-years-of-christmas<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/saltydroid-v-herbalife-2020.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>I know it’s a bit late for this… but I just wanted to take a moment to type a very “Merry Christmas!” to everyone who gets offended by people typing Merry Christmas. Oh and also — to be fair — a hearty “Happy Holidays!” to everyone who gets offended by people typing Happy Holidays.</p> <p>Ever since I stopped dropping faux-literary f-bombs all over the place I’ve been searching for something new to help me keep my edge. And what’s edgier than mis-targeted holiday salutations?</p> <ul> <li>Milk?</li> <li>Chocolate Milk? (gasp!)</li> <li>Not liking baby Yoda?</li> <li>Liking baby Yoda?</li> <li>“Placing the punctuation outside of the quotation marks”? (omg!)</li> </ul> <p>Yeah, I’ve still got the touch.</p> <!--jump--> <p>I only wrote <em>two posts</em> this entire year, which, obviously, is pathetic and I’m sorry. However, those <a href="http://saltydroid.info/discovery-confidential/">two</a> <a href="http://saltydroid.info/dumbdumb-creep-stars/">posts</a> <em>were</em> enough to have me summoned to an awkward federal court hearing where I had to answer for myself… something my hundreds of other cult-busting posts didn’t managed to “achieve”. So… efficiency increase, doing more with less, six sigma.</p> <p>Herbalife’s lawyers argued to the court that I should not be allowed to see any of the confidential evidence in <a href="http://saltydroid.info/rodgers-vs-herbalife-fun-docket/">a case</a> where I prolly do need to see (and already have seen) the evidence. Their argument was that, well, it was like, you know, because, well … I’m always going around mentioning chocolate milk in polite company and so I’m probably a crazy person.</p> <p>No, not really… there was nothing about the chocolate milk. They just implied that the two trivial 2019 SaltyDroid posts were some kind of (very) veiled threat that I was gonna post a bunch of this (mostly boring) discovery stuff to the world wide internets. They’ve been implying — or straight up saying — that the whole time.</p> <p>But that’s not really how this works in my view. You can’t just dump a bunch of data on the internet like an <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/julian-assange/">albino lunatic</a>.</p> <ol> <li> <p>Mostly, sadly, nobody — but robocall scrapers and MLM spammers — will care. Data dumps? Sounds like math. Have you met America? America don’t want no maths.</p> </li> <li> <p>With some very important exceptions, it is irresponsible to dump data… the risk of negative unintended consequences is way too high.</p> </li> <li> <p>A lot of this stuff involves information about people I see as tragic victims. Not protecting their privacy would be extremely off-brand.</p> </li> </ol> <p>No, this site has never “dumped”. It’s more like: collect the data; look at the data; process the data; cross-check the data; make calls about the data; stare at the data until the onset of eyeball carpal tunnel… then, maybe, try to write a fun funny story about something extremely sad (and hope that people will read it because sometimes they won’t even though somebody has clearly done a gloriously delightful job writing it).</p> <p>Anyway, Herbalife’s ploy didn’t work. The fact that I was — am — and always will be — the SaltyDroid wasn’t enough to have me banished from the kingdom of lawyers. The Judge warned, to quote from <a href="/pdf/saltydroid-not-banished.pdf">the order</a>, of a “parade of personal and professional horribles” should I ever deliberately fail to respect the court’s confidentiality orders. But that was <em>never</em> going to be a thing — I don’t like parades.</p> <h3 id="saltydroid-2020--year-twelve-gasp">SaltyDroid 2020 … Year Twelve (gasp!)</h3> <h6 id="c">C</h6> <p>Maybe this year I’ll write more. Or, maybe I won’t. But substantial stuff is happening and, eventually, I promise, this <em>will</em> be a fun funny story about something extremely sad. I hope you’ll read it.</p> <p>Happy New Year!</p>Jason JonesDumbDumb CreepStars2019-10-02T00:00:00-04:002019-10-02T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/dumbdumb-creep-stars<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/herbalife-mini-hom.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>Herbalife pretends that I don’t exist. That’s what everyone does. The monster’s not real until you look at it… is what you’re saying right before you get ate by the monster.</p> <p>I guess that’s over now.</p> <p><a href="/pdf/herbalife-response-to-motion-to-compel.pdf">Says Herbalife</a> (via millions of dollars worth of lawyers):</p> <blockquote> <p>The privacy interests of the 44 Florida Defendants and their downline members also militate against the discovery sought by Plaintiffs, interests that the Florida Defendants have refused to waive.</p> <p>These concerns are heightened given certain statements made by Jason Jones, counsel of record for Plaintiffs, on his blog, “The Salty Droid.” See <a href="http://saltydroid.info/discovery-confidential/">http://saltydroid.info/discovery-confidential/</a> (“These dumbdumb creep-stars are giving me data, and videos, and emails, and yada yada yada … holy mother of dragons I’m actually getting the stuff!”).</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh, why thank you! That’s quite the grand entrance for my “blog” onto the federal record.</p> <p class="center">{<em>sashay right, deep bow, sashay left</em>}</p> <!--jump--> <p>I might have chosen a different “certain statement” as my opening line; like this from the <a href="http://saltydroid.info/the-power-to-couple/">fake robot circa 2010</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Herbalife is a multi-level marketing company :: aka a pyramid scheme :: aka a waste of time. Like all other MLM’s a key component of their business is having big Ra Ra seminars where they sell their “distributors” on a bunch of expensive bullshit that will help them “grow” their “companies.”</p> </blockquote> <p>Or this <a href="http://saltydroid.info/herbalife-at-home-online/">from 2013</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Herbalife’s corporate honchos :: currently experiencing out of the ordinary levels of scrutiny … have been trying to distance the company from the various dodgy biz opps that are necessarily stacked on top of their own dodgy biz opp … by nearly all of their top producers.</p> </blockquote> <p>That one even came with a potential video exhibit (which Herbalife hated and had disappeared from the internet)…</p> <div class="video"><figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gtyYRPytUag" width="720" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure></div> <p>Cool, yeah, that seems perfectly innocent and not the least bit pyramid schemey… could have used that.</p> <p>Could have also used this pant-related quote from a <a href="http://saltydroid.info/herbalifes-bankruptcy-business/">2014 article</a> I wrote (courts always find pants persuasive):</p> <blockquote> <p>If you buy pants from the store :: then you’ll have pants … but no money. If you buy pants from yourself :: then you’ll have pants … and money! It’s a win win :: for you … and yourself. Whoever thought up this whole “just buy shit from yourself” thing … should give themselves the Nobel Prize in imaginary economics.</p> </blockquote> <p>Or, this <a href="http://saltydroid.info/hurricane-herbalife/">Herbalife hurricane from 2015</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Seminars are the most critical component to recruiting and retention at Herbalife. Because :: <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/sheeple/">group think</a> … and also because … <a href="http://saltydroid.info/category/sheeple/">group think</a>. A new prospect will be pitched the Herbalife biz op in a group with :: 30 … 300 … 3000 … and then 20,000 fellow hopefuls. The vast majority of MLM recruits can’t actually sell or recruit :: they’re victims not perpetrators … so this escalating group system does all the heavy scam lifting for them.</p> </blockquote> <p>Or, this so-so-simple summation <a href="http://saltydroid.info/herbalife-death-to-america/">from 2016</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Herbalife says that you can make money selling Herbalife.</p> <p>But you can’t make money selling Herbalife.</p> <p>That’s it :: a multibillion dollar global scam … built on the back of that one easy lie.</p> </blockquote> <p>Or, how about this <a href="http://saltydroid.info/this-is-a-pyramid-scheme/">ominous statement from 2017</a> when I knew I was about to sue Herbalife but they did not?</p> <blockquote> <p>I just wanted to tell jokes :: to speak truths … to use my computers and the webz {<em>a few of my favorite things</em>} to poke at the monsters in the night. Almost everyone in the world was completely ignoring me … and I was basically fine with that.</p> <p>But my arguments were <strong>silenced</strong> instead of answered.</p> <p>And so :: now … this.</p> </blockquote> <p>But, whatever, I will 100% accept “dumbdumb creep-stars :: yada yada yada … mother of dragons” as my opening line.</p> <p><strong>» bleep bloop</strong></p>Jason JonesDiscovery Confidential2019-05-16T00:00:00-04:002019-05-16T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/discovery-confidential<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/herbalife-confidential.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>My <a href="http://saltydroid.info/rodgers-vs-herbalife-fun-docket/">case against Herbalife</a> has become my <em>many</em> cases against Herbalife. I can’t tell you about all of them… but I can tell you that in the ones I can’t tell you about I’m really impressing and there are repeated standing ovations (one’s happening right now; I wish you could see it).</p> <p>And guess what my internet friends?</p> <p>These dumbdumb creep-stars are giving me data, and videos, and emails, and yada yada yada… holy mother of dragons I’m actually getting the stuff!</p> <p>It’s surprising. I’m surprised.</p> <p>For the first year and a half it was all like, “you can’t have any stuff because your case is stupid and you’re stupid and how dare you think you can subject us to basic process.”</p> <p>Not surprising.</p> <!--jump--> <p>But lately it’s been more like, “oh I guess we have to give you <em>some</em> stuff or else chaos will reign supreme and the President will start willy nilly refusing to comply with congressional subpoenas.”</p> <p>The thing is that badguys don’t respect paperwork based commands… but sometimes badguys who are not the President of fricking America have to pretend like they do. So I’m getting the stuff.</p> <p>Of course, the patriarchy is still trying pin my wings and restrain my revolutionary spirit… making me sign this <a href="/pdf/stipulated-protective-order.pdf">awful monster</a> of a thing. It’s a protective order stating that confidential things must be kept confidential or else someone will get a very serious scolding. Herbalife’s expensive counsel were especially keen that I sign it before they handed anything over… and then they proceeded to mark everything they handed over “confidential”.</p> <p>They can’t really do that, but I don’t care right now – we can fight about that later. I’m not looking to bulk publish raw data like vile man-lizard Julian Assange. I’m looking to look at the data myself: Me, the SaltyDroid, crusader for justice, cowboy researcher, hardcore cult fighter, unbribable bastard, sweary funtime storyteller… please show me everything. I’m sure you’ll be fine. What could go wrong? Just show me everything.</p> <p>(confidential standing ovation)</p>Jason JonesDismissively Appealing2018-11-19T00:00:00-05:002018-11-19T00:00:00-05:00http://saltydroid.info/dismissively-appealing<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/questions-for-leslie-stanford.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>What if the badguys had to answer my questions?</p> <p>It’s a rhetorical question because obviously nobody’s going to answer my questions. But what if they had to? I don’t know… it would be strange.</p> <p>So that’s what’s happening right now. <!--jump--></p> <p>Herbalife has until December 14ish, 2018, to answer the thirty-one requests for production contained within the first real discovery request of this fourteen month old case. Real questions that’ll be requiring real answers.</p> <p>The reality of consumer class litigation is that you must be willing to litigate about <a href="http://saltydroid.info/compelling-case-against-arbitration/">class waiving arbitration provisions</a> for between one and five years before you can even begin to have the merits of your case addressed. During this labor intensive period you are almost certainly going to lose and have your case driven out of court. It’s a real crisis for accountability in America.</p> <p>But <a href="http://saltydroid.info/rodgers-vs-herbalife-fun-docket/">Rodgers vs. Herbalife</a> is more than half past it.</p> <h3 id="henchpersons">henchpersons</h3> <p>Herbalife’s President’s Team had <em>all</em> of their arbitration and venue <a href="http://saltydroid.info/herbalife-court-ordered-court">motions denied</a> and the case against them immediately resumed. We <a href="/pdf/response-motion-to-dismiss-rodgers-vs-addy.pdf">responded to their motion to dismiss</a> and filed a request for the production of documents. But before the response to the document request was due the defendants filed a <a href="/pdf/notice-of-appeal-rodgers-vs-addy.pdf">notice of appeal</a>. The appeal comes with an all-but-automatic <a href="/pdf/stay-pending-arbitration-appeal.pdf">stay of proceedings</a> pending resolution of the appeal.</p> <p>This means the President’s Team doesn’t have to answer the first questions in that case for at least another year; another expensive year in which hundreds of pages of arguments will be submitted on the question of whether two parties who did not agree to arbitrate should none the less be forced to arbitrate.</p> <p>And guess what? Only corporations and businesses can immediately appeal the loss of an arbitration decision. When the consumer loses they are just stuck with it.</p> <p>Defendants filed their <a href="/pdf/eleventh-circuit-brief1-rodgers-vs-addy.pdf">opening appeal brief</a> on November 14, 2018. I’m so totally looking forward to this. The case may make important law on the question of top MLM distributors attempting to hide their side businesses beneath the umbrella of their mothership’s mandatory arbitration provision. If that doesn’t sound super fun and interesting to you… go away, this is a nerds only area.</p> <h3 id="motherships">motherships</h3> <p>Herbalife fared better in the first hearing than did their President’s Team henchman, as they explained in their most recent <a href="https://ir.herbalife.com/static-files/291f8a2d-5fec-4a2f-9e53-a135d4796bfa">quarterly report</a> to investors:</p> <blockquote class="greenquote"> <p>On August 23, 2018, the Court issued an order transferring the action to the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California as to four of the putative class plaintiffs and ordering the remaining four plaintiffs to arbitration, thereby terminating the Company defendants from the Florida action.</p> </blockquote> <p>That’s one way to say it. You might also say that, against all the odds, the U.S. District Court did not terminate the action and it is now ongoing as to four of the plaintiffs in the Central District of California.</p> <blockquote class="greenquote"> <p>The plaintiffs seek damages in an unspecified amount. The Company believes the lawsuit is without merit and will vigorously defend itself against the claims in the lawsuit.</p> </blockquote> <p>Cool.</p> <p>The Company chose not to appeal the arbitration decision and vigorously filed a clone-stamp <a href="/pdf/motion-to-dismiss-rodgers-vs-herbalife.pdf">motion to dismiss</a> in the new California case. We <a href="/pdf/motion-to-dismiss-response-rodgers-vs-herbalife.pdf">responded</a>. They <a href="/pdf/reply-motion-to-dismiss-rodgers-vs-herbalife.pdf">replied</a>. Hearing set for January 28, 2019.</p> <p>This is happening.</p> <p>So now you’re all up to date… and I’m hoping to celebrate the upcoming holidays by finally getting some goddamn answers.</p>Jason JonesRobotic Reformation2018-10-05T00:00:00-04:002018-10-05T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/robotic-reformation<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/fading-saltydroid.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>I like being me! I over-deliberated about giving up my SaltyDroid character and instead writing as whatever it is that I actually am, but now that I’m doing it… I like it a lot.</p> <p>Just to explain the decade old joke: it was funny how SaltyDroid was so totally horrible to darkside conmen pretending to be rivers of light. I pretended to be mean to expose people pretending to be nice. It was epic. I should have won some sort of beer-soaked comedy award for it; or at least an unrequested Louis C.K. dick pic, a plaque with my name misspelled, a Applebees gift card, maybe a giant blow-up of a post dated check for $100? … something.</p> <!--jump--> <p>Most people got the joke after two or three articles–but of course–some people <em>never</em> got the joke. There was the adorable group repulsed by the thought that <em>I was</em> the unholstered prick that I pretended to be, and the not-so-adorable group (to whom all irony is lost) who “thought” it was hilarious that I was taking such hard shots at people on pedestals. This latter group could not have cared less about the important issues that I’m dedicated to, and were easily the worst part of my job–the worst part of my life–and did their trollish best to suck all the joy from my soul (they failed).</p> <p>But now hateful, fear mongering, conspiracy spewing, fake hope scammers have bubbled to the top of our societal cauldron. There’s a clear permission structure allowing assholes to be assholes without bothering with the pretense of light. It kinda ruined my beautiful joke. It’s not fun to pose as an asshole now that it’s totally okay to be an asshole. You know? Not funny.</p> <p>The satirical posture of this site always gave scammers an opportunity to brush away the meticulously gathered facts by labeling me a “hate blogger” or a potential mass murderer or whatever. I mostly let that shit slide because explaining the joke ruins the joke, and I was guessing that maintaining the joke was almost as important as finding the truth. The truth was riding into minds on the back of that joke.</p> <p>So anyway, Donald Trump <em>et al.</em>, thanks for ruining my old joke so I could move on to my new joke.</p> <hr /> <p class="center"><strong>–New Joke–</strong><br /> cloyingly optimistic humanitarian <strong>+</strong> 100% ballbuster for the truth <strong>+</strong> strategic litigation <strong>=</strong> lol</p> <hr /> <p>Good luck scammers. I’m sorry I called you fat. You’re not fat… you’re just terrible people.</p>Jason JonesDisparaging Arbitration2018-08-30T00:00:00-04:002018-08-30T00:00:00-04:00http://saltydroid.info/disparaging-arbitration<p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/serious-contract-with-words-and-things.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>In 2013, Herbalife, facing a full-on assault from a hedge fund manager still bitter about not <a href="http://saltydroid.info/3rd-boat/">rowing varsity crew at Harvard</a>; a class action lawsuit inexplicably emanating from Salt Lake City; and several ominous Sword of Damocles style government inquires… added a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision to its ridiculous consumer “contract”.</p> <p>Here’s the first version of that provision. (Please make sure to read every word carefully because it’s desperately important to the story. I can’t overemphasize the importance of reading the provision, in its entirety, before continuing.)</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>SECTION 29 ARBITRATION AGREEMENT FOR DISPUTES BETWEEN MEMBERS AND HERBALIFE</strong> <!--jump--> This is the Arbitration Agreement incorporated into the Membership Application and Agreement. In the event that Herbalife and Member are not able to resolve any dispute in an amicable informal manner, Herbalife and Member each agree to resolve such disputes solely and exclusively by binding arbitration or in small claims court instead of in courts of general jurisdiction. Arbitration can be more informal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration uses a neutral arbitrator instead of a judge or jury, allows for more limited discovery than in court, and is subject to very limited review by courts. Arbitrators can award the same damages and relief that a court can award. Puerto Rico Residents: Please refer to the details below which differ slightly from the information above. This is the Arbitration Agreement incorporated into the Membership Application and Agreement. In the event that Herbalife and Member are not able to resolve any dispute in an amicable informal manner, Herbalife and Member each agree to resolve such disputes solely and exclusively by binding arbitration instead of in courts of general jurisdiction. Arbitration can be more informal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration uses a neutral arbitrator instead of a judge, allows for more limited discovery than in court, and is subject to very limited review by courts. Arbitrators can award the same damages and relief that a court can award. Any arbitration under this agreement shall take place on an individual basis; class actions and class arbitrations shall not be permitted. For any claim that does not exceed $75,000, Herbalife will pay all arbitration fees so long as the arbitrator does not find that Member’s claim is frivolous or filed for improper purpose. Moreover, in arbitration Member may be entitled to recover attorneys’ fees from Herbalife to at least the same extent as Member would be in court. In addition, under certain circumstances (as explained below), Herbalife will pay Member more than the amount of the arbitrator’s award and will pay Member’s attorney (if any) twice his or her reasonable attorney’s fees if the arbitrator awards Member an amount that is greater than what Herbalife had offered Member to settle the dispute prior to the issuance of the arbitrator’s award. Arbitration Agreement: (1) Scope Except as provided in paragraph (2) below, Herbalife and Member agree to arbitrate all disputes and claims between them. This agreement to arbitrate is intended to be broadly interpreted. It includes, but is not limited to: • claims arising out of or relating to terminations, enforcement of Member Rules of Conduct and Marketing Plan decisions; • claims by Member against Herbalife or Herbalife against Member which arise out of or relate in any way to any dispute between Member and another Herbalife Member; • claims arising out of or relating to any aspect of the relationship between Herbalife and Member, whether based in contract, tort, statute, fraud, misrepresentation or any other legal theory; • claims that arose before this or any prior agreement between Herbalife and Member; • claims that are the subject of purported class action litigation in which Member is not a member of a certified class; and • claims that may arise before, after or as a direct or indirect result of the termination of Member’s relationship with Herbalife. Member agrees that, by entering into this agreement, Herbalife and Member are each waiving the right to a trial by jury or to participate in a class action. Puerto Rico Residents: Members in Puerto Rico agree that, by entering into this agreement, Herbalife and Member are each waiving the right to a trial in any local or Federal court of justice in Puerto Rico or to participate in a class action. This Agreement evidences a transaction in interstate commerce, and thus the Federal Arbitration Act governs the interpretation and enforcement of this provision. This arbitration provision shall survive termination of this Agreement, the Member Agreement or any other agreement between Herbalife and Member. References to “Herbalife,” “Member,” “they,” “their” or “them” include Herbalife’s and Member’s respective subsidiaries, affiliates, officers, directors, agents, employees, predecessors in interest, heirs, successors and assigns. (2) Exceptions (a) Notwithstanding the foregoing, Member may bring an individual action for monetary damages in small claims court. Member may not bring any other type of action against Herbalife in small claims court. Herbalife may only arbitrate claims against Member and may not bring any actions against Member in small claims court. (b) This arbitration agreement does not preclude Member from bringing issues to the attention of federal, state or local agencies. Such agencies can, if the law allows, seek relief against Herbalife on Member’s behalf. Puerto Rico Residents: Please refer to the details below which differ slightly from the information above. (2) Exceptions (a) This arbitration agreement does not preclude Member from bringing issues to the attention of federal, state or local agencies. Such agencies can, if the law allows, seek relief against Herbalife on Member’s behalf. (3) Procedure (a) A party who intends to seek arbitration must first send to the other, by certified mail, a written Notice of Dispute (“Notice”). The Notice to Herbalife should be addressed to: Office of the General Counsel Herbalife International of America, Inc. 800 West Olympic Blvd., Suite 406 Los Angeles, CA 9001 (“Herbalife’s Notice Address”). The Notice to Member shall be addressed to Member’s mailing address as listed in Herbalife’s records. (“Member’s Notice Address”). The Notice shall (a) describe the nature and basis of the claim or dispute; and (b) set forth the specific relief sought (“Demand”). If Herbalife and Member do not reach an agreement to resolve the claim within 30 days after the Notice is received, Member or Herbalife may commence an arbitration proceeding. During the arbitration, the amount of any settlement offer made by Herbalife or Member shall not be disclosed to the arbitrator until after the arbitrator determines the amount, if any, to which Herbalife or Member is entitled. Member may download or copy a form Notice and a form to initiate arbitration at: http://www. adr.org/aaa/ShowPDF?doc=ADRSTG 004175. (b) (After Herbalife receives notice at Herbalife’s Notice Address that Member has commenced arbitration, it will promptly reimburse Member for Member’s payment of the filing fee unless Member’s claim is for greater than $75,000. (The filing fee currently is $125 for claims under $10,000, but is subject to change by the arbitration provider.) If Member states that Member is unable to pay this fee, Herbalife will pay it directly upon receiving a written request at its Notice Address. (c) The arbitration will be governed by the Commercial Arbitration Rules (“AAA Rules”) of the American Arbitration Association (“AAA”), as modified by this Agreement, and will be administered by the AAA. The AAA Rules are available online at adr.org, by calling the AAA at 1-800-778-7879, or by writing to the Notice Address. The arbitrator shall be bound by the terms of this Agreement. All issues shall be for the arbitrator to decide, including the scope of this arbitration provision, but the arbitrator shall be bound by the terms of this Agreement. (d) Unless Herbalife and Member agree otherwise, any arbitration hearings will take place in the county (or parish) of Member’s Notice Address. If Member’s claim is for $10,000 or less, Herbalife and Member agree that Member may choose whether the arbitration will be conducted solely on the basis of documents submitted to the arbitrator, through a telephonic hearing, or by an in-person hearing as established by the AAA Rules. If Member’s claim exceeds $10,000, the right to a hearing will be determined by the AAA Rules. Regardless of the manner in which the arbitration is conducted, the arbitrator shall issue a reasoned written decision sufficient to explain the essential findings and conclusions on which the award is based. Except as otherwise provided for herein, Herbalife will pay all AAA filing, administration and arbitrator fees for any arbitration initiated in accordance with the notice requirements above. If, however, the arbitrator finds that either the substance of Member’s claim or the relief sought in the Demand is frivolous or brought for an improper purpose (as measured by the standards set forth in Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 11(b)), then the payment of all such fees will be governed by the AAA Rules. In such case, Member agrees to reimburse Herbalife for all monies previously disbursed by it that are otherwise Member’s obligation to pay under the AAA Rules. In addition, if Member initiates an arbitration in which Member seeks more than $75,000 in damages, the payment of these fees will be governed by the AAA Rules. (4) Awards and Attorneys’ Fees (a) If, after finding in my favor in any respect on the merits of my claim, the arbitrator issues Member an award that is greater than the value of Herbalife’s last written settlement offer made before an arbitrator was selected, then Herbalife will: * pay Member the amount of the award or $10,000 (“the alternative payment”) whichever is greater; and * pay Member’s attorney, if any, twice the amount of attorneys’ fees, and reimburse any expenses (including expert witness fees and costs) that Member’s attorney reasonably accrues for investigating, preparing, and pursuing Member’s claim in arbitration (“the attorney premium”). If Herbalife did not make a written offer to settle the dispute before an arbitrator was selected, Member and Member’s attorney will be entitled to receive the alternative premium and the attorney premium, respectively, if the arbitrator awards me any relief on the merits. The arbitrator may make rulings and resolve disputes as to the payment and reimbursement of fees, expenses, and the alternative premium and the attorney premium at any time during the proceeding and upon request from either party made within 14 days of the arbitrator’s ruling on the merits. (b) The right to attorneys’ fees and expenses discussed in paragraph (4) shall supplement any right to attorneys’ fees and expenses Member may have under applicable law. Thus, if Member would be entitled to a larger amount under the applicable law, this provision does not preclude the arbitrator from awarding Member that amount. However, Member may not recover duplicative awards of attorneys’ fees or costs. Although under some laws Herbalife may have a right to an award of attorneys’ fees and expenses if it prevails in an arbitration, Herbalife agrees that it will not seek such an award. (c) The arbitrator may award declaratory or injunctive relief only in favor of the individual party seeking relief and only to the extent necessary to provide relief warranted by that party’s individual claim. Herbalife and Member agree that each may bring claims against the other only in Member’s or Herbalife’s individual capacity, and not as a plaintiff or class member in any purported class or representative proceeding. Further, unless both Herbalife and Member agree otherwise, the arbitrator may not consolidate more than one person’s claims, and may not otherwise preside over any form of a representative or class proceeding. If this specific provision is found to be unenforceable, then the entirety of this arbitration provision shall be null and void. (d) Except as required by any applicable law, rule or regulation, or by order or decree from any court of competent jurisdiction, any party involved in a claim or dispute under this arbitration provision shall not disclose to any other person not directly involved in the arbitration process anything having to do with the arbitration, including without limitation, (i) the substance of, or basis for, the claim; (ii) the content of any testimony or other evidence presented at an arbitration hearing or obtained through discovery; or (iii) the terms or amount of any arbitration award. However, nothing in this provision shall preclude a party from, in good faith, investigating a claim or defense, including interviewing witnesses and otherwise in engaging in discovery. Herbalife and Member both agree that this confidentiality agreement applies to each of Herbalife’s and Member’s directors, officers, employees, clients, agents, advisors, and any other persons affiliated with Herbalife and Member in any way and that Herbalife and Member will take the steps necessary to make sure that all such persons or entities know about this confidentiality provision.</p> </blockquote> <p>Haha! Did I trick you into reading it?</p> <p>No, I didn’t.</p> <p>You didn’t read it.</p> <p>You never follow my instructions… and you never read legalese.</p> <p>Anyway, that’s not the agreement Herbalife tried to enforce so it doesn’t matter that you disobeyed me. Herbalife says it gets to enforce whatever version of whatever contract it wants–no matter what you agreed to when you agreed to whatever it was you agreed to. In this case Herbalife wanted to enforce the 2016 version of the provision because that was most convenient to the rest of its arguments. Please read it now. It’s desperately important to the story. I’m seriously this time you guys; read it.</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Chapter 12 Arbitration Agreement</strong> Distributors and Herbalife agree to submit to arbitration any disputes that they cannot resolve informally. Herbalife reserves the right (with some restrictions) to amend the Arbitration Agreement. The current version is below. References below to “Agreement” mean the entire contractual relationship between Distributor and Herbalife. 12.1 Overview Herbalife will try to resolve any dispute amicably and informally. However, if there is a dispute that cannot be resolved informally, Herbalife and Distributor each agrees, subject to Rules 12.2 and 12.3 below, to resolve the dispute solely and exclusively by binding arbitration. Arbitration proceedings are designed to provide parties with a fair hearing that is faster and less formal than a lawsuit in court. Arbitration uses a neutral arbitrator instead of a judge or jury, allows for limited discovery, and is subject to very limited review by courts. Arbitrators can award the same damages and relief that a court can award. The following provisions are referred to as the “Arbitration Agreement.” Puerto Rico Residents: Puerto Rico does not have small claims courts. Any variation in terms in this Arbitration Agreement for Puerto Rico Residents is indicated below in italics. 12.2 Jury and Class Action Waiver Herbalife and Distributor both waive the right to trial by jury. Also, any arbitration under the Agreement shall take place on an individual basis; class or representative actions shall not be permitted. If the foregoing provision is, for any reason, found to be unenforceable, then the Arbitration Agreement shall be null and void (but the Agreement shall remain in full force and effect). Puerto Rico Residents: Distributors in Puerto Rico agree that Herbalife and Distributor are each waiving the right to a trial in any local or Federal Court of justice in Puerto Rico. 12.3 Scope Herbalife and Distributor agree, with two exceptions, to arbitrate all disputes and claims between them, including, without limitation, disputes or claims arising out of or relating to the Agreement, the Rules of Conduct, Sales & Marketing Plan decisions, relationships with other Distributors, and the purchase, sale or use of Herbalife® products, and regardless of whether the dispute or claim arose before Distributor’s contractual relationship with Herbalife. The two exceptions are: (1) either Herbalife or Distributor may bring suit in court to enjoin infringement or other misuse of intellectual property rights, and (2) Distributor may bring an individual action for monetary damages (but no other relief) in small claims court where permitted by law. 12.4 Applicable Rules The interpretation and enforcement of this Arbitration Agreement is governed by the Federal Arbitration Act. Any arbitration that is commenced pursuant to this Arbitration Agreement is governed by the Commercial Arbitration Rules (“AAA Rules”) of the American Arbitration Association (“AAA”), except as modified herein, and will be administered by the AAA. The AAA Rules are available online at adr.org, by calling the AAA at 1-800-778-7879, or by writing to the Herbalife Notice Address, Office of the General Counsel, Herbalife International of America, Inc., 800 West Olympic Blvd., Suite 406, Los Angeles, CA 90015. 12.5 Commencing Arbitration Forms and instructions for giving notice and commencing arbitration can be obtained at http://www.adr.org, by calling the AAA at 1-800-778-7879, or by writing to the Herbalife Notice Address. If either Herbalife or Distributor is sued in arbitration, they may assert any counterclaims they may have against the other party. 12.6 Arbitration Fees For any arbitration initiated by Distributor in accordance with the AAA Rules, Herbalife will pay all administration and arbitrator fees and will promptly reimburse Distributor for any initial filing fee unless (i) Distributor seeks more than $75,000 in damages, or (ii) the arbitrator finds that Distributor’s claim or demand for relief is frivolous or was brought for an improper purpose under the standards of Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 11(b), in which case the payment of fees will instead be governed by the AAA Rules and Distributor must reimburse Herbalife for any payments that would have been Distributor’s obligation to pay under the AAA Rules. 12.7 Arbitration Procedure All arbitration procedures, including, without limitation, representation by counsel, determinations of arbitrability, selecting and communicating with the arbitrator, discovery, confidentiality, pre-hearing conferences, and evidentiary hearings, will be governed by the AAA Rules. Note: As explained in the AAA Rules, the arbitrator shall determine the scope and enforceability of this Arbitration Agreement and the arbitrability of any disputes. Hearings will take place in the county (or parish) where Distributor resides, unless the parties agree otherwise. 12.8 Arbitration Award The arbitrator shall issue a written award in accordance with the AAA Rules, but may only award declaratory or injunctive relief in favor of the individual party seeking relief and only to the extent necessary to provide relief warranted by that party’s individual claim. Regardless of whether attorneys’ fees and costs are recoverable by law, Herbalife will pay Distributor’s reasonable attorneys’ fees and costs if the arbitrator issues an award in Distributor’s favor, unless Herbalife made a written settlement offer worth more than the award before an arbitrator was selected. Herbalife will be responsible for its own attorneys’ fees and costs.</p> </blockquote> <p>Just avoid eye contact with me and maybe I won’t know that you <em>definitely</em> didn’t read it.</p> <p>You don’t even deserve the fun/sexy part of this story.</p> <p><img src="http://saltydroid.info/img/jessie-conners-tieva-no-soliciting.jpg" alt="" /></p> <p>Jessie Conners Tieva, <a href="http://saltydroid.info/jessie-conners-utah-sellers-playbook/">Trump University “Professor” and Failed “Apprentice”</a>, was recently sued by the FTC for running a $15 million event scam. Jessie–who has a strict ‘No Soliciting’ policy when she’s not selling every second god sends, and whose totally-keeping-it-together husband and co-defendant Matt Tieva was just arrested at gunpoint–also had a mandatory arbitration and class waiver provision in her “contract”.</p> <p>I won’t bother telling you to read it.</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Dispute Resolution.</strong> Both Parties to this Agreement waive any and all right to a trial by jury. Any dispute or controversy arising under or in connection with this Agreement, including claims of fraud in the inducement, shall be settled exclusively by binding arbitration solely by written submission in Hennepin County, in the State of Minnesota, in accordance with the expedited Commercial rules of the American Arbitration Association then in effect, by one arbitrator. Limited civil discovery shall be permitted for the production of documents and taking of depositions. Unresolved discovery disputes may be brought to the attention of the arbitrator who may dispose of such dispute. Judgment may be entered on the arbitrator’s award in any court having jurisdiction. The arbitrator shall have the authority to award any remedy or relief that a court of this state could order or grant; provided, however, that punitive, consequential or exemplary damages shall not be awarded. (a) Arbitration shall proceed solely on an individual basis without the right for any claims to be arbitrated on a class action basis or on bases involving claims brought in a purported representative capacity on behalf of others. The arbitrator’s authority to resolve and make written awards is limited to claims between Client and SPI alone. Claims may not be joined or consolidated unless agreed to in writing by all parties. No arbitration award or decision will have any preclusive effect as to issues or claims in any dispute with anyone who is not a named party to the arbitration. (b) The above notwithstanding, <strong>this Section shall have no application to claims by SPI seeking to enforce, by injunction or other equitable relief, the terms of this Agreement.</strong> Such claims may be maintained by SPI in a court of competent jurisdiction.</p> </blockquote> <p>The bolded bit makes it a completely unenforceable one-sided non-agreement.</p> <p>And by completely unenforceable, I mean, if you have a couple of years and about $2 million to drop on lawyers then the courts could ultimately decide that the provision was not enforceable and you would then be free to spend five years and $10 million trying to get your $50,000 back.</p> <p>Sound good?</p> <p>Class waiving arbitration provisions must be barred from consumer contracts. Arbitration can be a good thing, and often is a good thing, because the court system is 1000 years worth of completely crazy. But crappy, scammy, lying, companies need to face the specter of class litigation in court. It was one of the few remaining checks on their unchecked power to harm.</p> <p>Such a practical and useful reform could never happen though, or, maybe… could it?</p> <p>A stunningly important law was passed semi-recently and is just now coming into full effect. It’s called the <em>Consumer Review Fairness Act of 2016</em>, and it completely eliminates non-disparagement provisions from form consumer contracts. This type of provision has been used to devastating effect within Scamworld for years. Here’s Jessie’s version:</p> <blockquote> <p><strong>Mutual Non-Disparagement Covenant.</strong> Client hereby agrees that it will not, at any time, directly or Indirectly, make any oral or written public statements that are disparaging of SO, SO’s products or services, or any of SO’s present or former owners, employees or independent contractors. SO (limited to its officers and directors) agrees that it will not, at any time, directly or indirectly, make any oral or written public statements that are disparaging of Client. Disparagement shall be defined as any oral or written public statements that impugn the qualities, character, honesty, integrity, morality, business acumen or abilities of the subject provided, however, that nothing in this paragraph is intended to prevent buyer from publishing or submitting to any consumer protection agency any truthful written, oral, or pictorial review, performance assessment of, or other similar analysis of SO’s services, including by electronic means.</p> </blockquote> <p>But now, not only is this speech repressing provision voided by statute, it’s a violation of law just having it in a contract and the FTC can come at you for it. This from the FTC’s complaint against Jessie:</p> <blockquote> <p>In 2016, Congress passed the Consumer Review Fairness Act of 2016 (“CRFA”), P.L. 114-258, 15 U.S.C. § 45b. As of March 14, 2017, the CRFA renders void, and prohibits the offering of, provisions in form contracts that restrict individual consumers’ ability to communicate reviews, performance assessments, and similar analyses about a seller’s products, services, or conduct. Congress empowered the FTC and the states to enforce the CRFA with respect to contracts in effect on or after December 14, 2017.</p> </blockquote> <p>And so…</p> <blockquote> <p>Pursuant to Section 2(d)(l) of the CRFA, 15 U.S.C. §45b(d)(l), a violation of Section 2(c) of the CRFA, 15 U.S.C. §45b(c), in or affecting commerce shall be treated as a violation of a rule defining an unfair or deceptive act or practice prescribed under Section 18(a)(l)(B) of the FTC Act, 15 U.S.C. § 57a(a)(l)(B).</p> </blockquote> <p>In other words, you can now get in big fat trouble for trying to tell your customers (or victims) to shut up.</p> <p>This reform had such broad bipartisan support that it passed through both houses of Congress unanimously. Reforms can happen, and they can leave you saying totally fucking crazy stuff, like:</p> <p>Good job Congress!</p>Jason Jones