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Salty Droid

Jonesing

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It’s so funny that I’m suing Herbalife. It wasn’t exactly on my bucket list — I didn’t even want to be a fucking lawyer — but life takes strange turns.

I badly want to tell jokes about the case… because jokes are my jam and scammers hate jokes. But I can’t (scream emoji) because lawyers hate jokes even more than scammers. That’s why “you’re so creative you should become a lawyer” is something that’s never been typed into the internet until just now.

Google’s closest match was:

Legally Creative: Why Being A Lawyer Requires Abstract Thought

They’ll get to the abstract thoughts in a hot second but first there’s a sub-headline:

Regardless of whether you are a litigator, a transactional attorney, in-house counsel, or something else, you need to be creative.

Totally, so creative — or, something else.

“To that extent, while I agree that specializing in law is important, I think it is equally important to sometimes go outside your comfort zone and work with someone who does something a little bit different than you or go to a CLE about something that has nothing to do with your area of practice to see if you learn something.”

Have a crazy creative three-way where it’s just you, a CLE called Bankruptcy Considerations in the Time of COVID-19, and maybe a colleague who doesn’t share your views on force majeure. The three of you all alone, together, in a hotel (conference) room — for like 90 minutes (max!) — because I’m sure you have another thing to get to.

Anyway, can’t talk about Herbalife… can’t not talk about Herbalife. Know what I mean? No? Fine. But the whole world is on fire/pause and it really seems like a good time for some internet jokes about badguys.

I wanna do Jason Jones vs. Alex Jones because it’s the most obvious thing in the entire goddamn galaxy.

Jokes vs. Joke.

So that is a thing that is happening right now.

Text your mom about it.

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