Home » bleep bloop, Boiler Rooms, Scams, Video

Kill Yourself

Author == 31 March 2012 58 Comments

 

… seriously.

I’m not joking …

… do it.

>> bleep bloop

-------------

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:: read one now before you die of stupid.

58 Comments »

  • Vern said:

    err … OK.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 2:29 am
  • Jack said:

    Mass Marketing Fraud – A Threat Assessment

    “For some victims, the risks extend well beyond loss of personal savings or funds to include physical threats or risks, loss of their homes, depression, and even contemplated, attempted, or actual suicide.”

    “Contemplated, Attempted, or Actual Suicide. For some time, law enforcement investigators have handled mass-marketing fraud cases in which at least one victim who had suffered devastating financial losses had committed or admitted having considered suicide. Although there is no systematic means of gathering such information from previous cases, an ongoing survey by the Working Group has been able to document at least 27 cases of mass-marketing fraud victims in various countries who had considered, attempted, or committed suicide since January 1, 2006 as a result of their fraud losses.”

    WINNER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down +10

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    @Jack ::

    And :: unfortunately :: I could add many names to that list.

    For instance :: while listening to the Raygoza boiler room logs … it came up or was hinted at with heartbreaking frequency.

    It’s especially important to note that so often the financial loss is not suffered by the victim alone … but by the victim’s family :: friends :: dependents … and most important obligations. Leaving one feeling not just foolish and scammed … but like the badguy who has perpetrated the damage.

    It’s not so much about the money … as about the total destruction of someone’s social order and self image.

    [Reply]

    Jack Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:25 pm

    @SD, True number probably 27 to some sort of ridiculous exponent since:
    - only what they discovered
    - based on only what they’ve studied
    - based on only what people were willing to talk about or report

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    Lanna Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 12:18 am

    @Jack,

    The clever broke fraud victims won’t admit they’re contemplating suicide, because that will land you a night in the psych ward and the accompanying medical bill . . . which you can’t afford.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    [Reply]

    Christoph Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    @SD,

    It’s especially important to note that so often the financial loss is not suffered by the victim alone … but by the victim’s family :: friends :: dependents … and most important obligations. Leaving one feeling not just foolish and scammed … but like the badguy who has perpetrated the damage.

    Yeah, that sounds like me.

    I’ll never know how big of a factor that was in the destruction of my life, but it was a factor. It wasn’t the most awful part of it for me, but it helped lead up to that which was.

    I respect the work you’re doing, Droid. Keep it up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 3:21 am
  • Don Lapre said:

    Done.

    WINNER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down +16

    [Reply]

    James Arthur Ray Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    @Don Lapre,

    Stop bragging…

    What about harmonically incarcerated?

    Does that count?

    WINNER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down +10

    [Reply]

    Cosmic Connie Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 8:56 am

    @James Arthur Ray, Maybe partial points for *career* suicide, but even those points will have to be deferred until it is determined that your career is really over — and that’s up for debate. After all, as we know, imprisonment is not necessarily a deterrent for the determined career scammer. And even though some of the other folks I’m thinking of weren’t imprisoned for killing people, it’s also true that the public has a short memory, and that even now there are those who think that the whole sweat lodge thing was just a tragic accident, for which the victims were at least partially to blame. So keep your jumpsuit on, Jimmy Ray, and we’ll get back to you later.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    Wyrd Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 9:55 am

    @Cosmic Connie,

    re J. Ray’s career: yeah and I’m sure his career won’t be over if he has anything to say about it. And he probably will. Historically, career scammers are always career scammers. They get knocked down. But they get up again, etc.

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    @Don Lapre ::

    Okay … but you only get partial credit.

    1. It took you two attempts to complete such a simple task.

    2. You were already in jail … and were about to finally get yours.

    So I’ve talked myself out if it … you get no credit.

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 8:00 am
  • Anna said:

    Nice! We just saw that last night! It would make your job a lot easier, maybe even put your fake robot self out of a job these make money online hucksters would take your advice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 9:43 am
  • jay said:

    Cash For GoldGet More: SOUTHPARKEric Cartman,Grandpa Marsh,Stan Marsh,Leopold “Butters” Stotch,more…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 2:33 pm
  • Wyrd said:

    I kinda wanna say something pithy, but I’m not good at that.

    Matt and Trey are cool.

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 4:45 pm
  • Faggot said:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    LOSER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down -19

    [Reply]

    I wantz 2B rich Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:43 pm

    @Faggot, Homophobic pig.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    Sgt. Pepper Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    @I wantz 2B rich, Didn’t you notice the signs on the way into the zoo? They all read, “Do not feed the trolls.” Trolls have a restricted diet: marginalization and silence.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    [Reply]

    I wantz 2B rich Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    @Sgt. Pepper, Thanks. I didn’t know I couldn’t sling the hog manure back at the racist and homophobic pigs, so thanks for the induction.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 4:58 pm
  • *not* Salty Droid said:

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    LOSER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down -23

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    @*not* Salty Droid ::

    Sign in as me elsewhere on the Internet like you just did there … and you’re going to have a serious problem.

    [Reply]

    I wantz 2B rich Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    @*not* Salty Droid, Racist pig.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 12:13 pm

    @I wantz 2B rich ::

    I think it’s multi-directional hate actually … all the top gurus of other people being positive run on it almost exclusively.

    Doesn’t look like a proxy server either … very silly.

    Pretend the SaltyDroid is a {confused} racist :: already been done …

    http://saltydroid.info/kilsteins-conning-questionnaire/

    … didn’t work.

    Think of new material fuckstars.

    [Reply]

    I wantz 2B rich Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 7:31 pm

    @SD, It wouldn’t occur to me for a millisecond that the Droid is racist, antisemitic, homophobic, or a misogynist. My takeaway is this (I learn quickly and take direction well): 1. Starve the trolls. 2. The racist, antisemitic, homophobic, misogynist trolls surely did acquire copywriting skills from Harlan Kilstein, his progeny, or one of the tragically-all-too-prolific IM wizards who steal and regurgitate each others’ material.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 5:01 pm
  • SD (author) said:

    Making its 20th debut on the fake robot site …

    [Reply]

    Anonymous Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 6:12 pm

    @SD, Fuck you! I was just going to post this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 5:15 pm
  • ryan said:

    Is this a P.P.S to your last open letter?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 5:20 pm
  • Frank Kern said:

    Ok, Salty Droid…

    If I kill myself right now. Would I be considered a better man to your robotic eyes?

    Would I be forgiven for all the phony scams I have through my entire pseudo-internet-marketing carreer?

    Thanks

    Irwin Frank Kern III

    WINNER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down +7

    [Reply]

    Biff Cranston III Reply:
    March 31st, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    @Frank Kern, Knowing SD almost as well as his cousin, the engine analyzer at the tune up shop, I don’t think he would want to answer such a hypothetical question. Instead, he’d probably suggest you “get on with it,” and THEN you could talk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    Wyrd Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 9:44 am

    @Frank Kern,

    Yeah, so you addressed @SD but I’ll answer anyway

    If I kill myself right now. Would I be considered a better man to your robotic eyes?

    IMHO it’s not about being better, it’s about being less harmful.

    Would I be forgiven for all the phony scams I have through my entire pseudo-internet-marketing carreer?

    So selfish. Why so concerned about abstract forgiveness? It’s about the concrete reality of no more old folk’s money going into your bank account. It’s about the greatest good for the greatest number in the shortest possible amount of time. Instant karma and all that.

    You want forgiveness? Ok, fine. No suicide then. Instead, just publicly acknowledge to all your past wrong-doings. Say you’re sorry. Help the police take you to prison by giving them as much evidence against yourself as possible. Also, give the police as much information as you can on all your fellow IM scammers.

    If you ever get out of prison, spend all the rest of your life doing charity work and attempting to fix the lives you helped destroy.

    And no more businesses–not even legitimate ones. You can’t tell the difference between the fake and the real anymore. Practice begging and get used to doing a lot of it.

    Tell Oprah she’s wrong, and that what she does contributes to the pain and misery of many.

    I suppose that all seems pretty ridiculous to you.

    But you could do it.

    But I don’t think you will.

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    WINNER!! :: Thumb up Thumb down +8

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 9:29 pm
  • I wantz 2B rich said:

    Another reason to love South Park. Priceless.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    # 31 March 2012 at 9:47 pm
  • EricG said:

    Talking about Frank Kern, apparently he has a vacant consulting day in April.
    You can go and get the benefit of his wisdom for $40,000
    But if you are a member of his list, then the day will cost you only $35,000

    Unbefknlievable.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    E. Pluribus Enough Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 2:08 am

    @EricG, For that kind of money, a person could just about cover the cost of a liver transplant. Hey, maybe that’s why Frank grabbed that figure. It probably took him the better part of two days just to reach far enough up his own asshole to pull that number out. I wonder if he ran into his cousin Trey on the way out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    @EricG ::

    Yeah?

    I didn’t see that … forward it to me.

    [Reply]

    EricG Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 6:07 pm

    @SD,
    The offer was attached as a PS to one of his emails where he’s desperately flogging off some of his stuff at 50% off.

    I’ll forward you the whole email.

    But here’s the bit about his one day consulting offer:

    P.S. Speaking of consulting, I have ONE day open in
    April for one-on-one consulting here in my office.

    My day rate is $40,000 and I’ll give you a discount
    of $5,000 since you’re my subscriber.

    I *MAY* give you the option for a half-day (cheaper)
    dependinon your project.

    Obviously, this isn’t for everyone because it’s very
    expensive – but if you’re one of the folks always
    asking me for one-on-one, then this is a rare opportunity
    to get it.

    If you’re interested, email me at FrankKernConsulting[AT]Gmail.com
    and Jeryl from my office will get in touch with you next week.

    P.P.S. I’m shooting the State Of The Internet Address, Second
    Quarter 2012, tomorrow. So good stuff on the horizon :-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    [Reply]

    EricG Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    @EricG,

    So – If you’re looking to spend some “one-on-one” time with Frank, how could you resist ???

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    Clark Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 5:36 am

    @EricG,

    Don’t forget that the never-to-be-sold-again Mass Control 2 is now on sale because he’s making Mass Control 3.

    And you get List Control free! Which is great, is you like two dudes rambling about how to make opt-in pages, I guess.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    Wyrd Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 10:06 am

    @EricG,

    Looks like Frank desperately trying to acquire a quick $30,000 – $40,000. Wonder what for. Kidney? Loanshark? Legal “loanshark” (i.e. bank)? Really wants a jet ski?

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    EricG Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    @Wyrd,
    You’re SO unkind. I’m sure that this money would be used to buy a few tins of surfboard wax, and to employ some nubile beach bunnies to polish his boards.

    And given all of the millions of monies that he earns each month, why would he need the services of loansharks? – legal or otherwise ??
    Anyway, in the unlikely event that he did run temporarily short of funds due to those ungrateful customers asking for refunds, I’m certain that his incredibly rich marketing buddies would sling a half mill or so his way if he dropped the hint.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    Jack Reply:
    April 2nd, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    @Wyrd, Alimony?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    # 1 April 2012 at 1:27 am
  • April said:

    Just a heads up for anyone who reads and/or comments on this blog using their cell phone. Google just released a very cool new keyboard app that makes typing MUCH faster and easier. I have never seen anything as fast or accurate as this, and they have versions for both Android and Apple phones. It’s totally free of charge right now:

    https://mail.google.com/mail/help/promos/tap/index.html

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    Anonymous Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 8:57 am

    @April, April Fools.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

    [Reply]

    Yeah Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    @, Thanks for spoiling it. Good job.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    @April ::

    … too funny.

    I want to hate them but it’s so hard.

    [Reply]

    # 1 April 2012 at 3:23 am
  • Anonymous said:

    Krazy geeses

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    [Reply]

    # 1 April 2012 at 8:17 am
  • Syndicate H8r said:

    Wow,

    How come no one else posted this yet?

    Frank Kern just committed suicide?!!!

    http://bit.ly/r8BnS9

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    [Reply]

    Trollluvr Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 3:21 pm

    @Syndicate H8r,
    Wow… I never thought it would happen…

    Legitimately shocked.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    Anonymous Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    @Trollluvr,
    Here’s another source confirming: http://bit.ly/awqZTU

    Craziness.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    [Reply]

    Trollluvr Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    @ Anonymous, lol… totally reminds of http://bit.ly/qlhMa4

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    # 1 April 2012 at 11:50 am
  • Dataly said:

    This guy Stephen Pierce always look for someone to blame for his demise. He ran his office with his ghetto pimp economics. He treats his employees like a pimp treat his whores and spends the money buying pimp clothes, shoes and car.

    Heard that his wife left him after she had someone record him out and about with a student from a GET MOTIVATED workshop,while his wife was at home working her ass off and her mother cutting his 4 acre lawn. Also heard he spent about $11,000 for a week in Austin TX with the chic that was not his wife.

    Hey ASSHOLE! Standup and be a man, you jerk! From what I saw at the office, you screwed up your own business with your scam and ghetto pimp CEO economics. No one can take the ghetto out of you. I don’t believe your wife and her family did anything wrong. The only thing they did wrong was being around an asshole like you. You should have never been born, you should have been aborted. The world would have been a better place without you. You are suing your wife’s mother!!! Someone should sue your mother for bringing a scumbag like you on this planet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    Larry Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    @Dataly, His wife’s MOTHER cutting his 4 acre lawn? Wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    April 1st, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    @Larry ::

    It’s not as bad as it sounds … it’s just that his wife kept getting cancer so she couldn’t use her advanced degrees to mow the lawn.

    Oh wait … I guess it is as bad as it sounds.

    [Reply]

    # 1 April 2012 at 4:13 pm
  • RT said:

    I have watched that damn video like 3 times … it’s funny, but shouldn’t be.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    [Reply]

    # 2 April 2012 at 10:44 am
  • Christoph said:

    I get a message saying, “sorry this video is unavailable from this site”.

    Can anyone tell me what the name of the video itself is, so I can search for it on YouTube or whatever?

    Thanks in advance.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    [Reply]

    SD Reply:
    April 4th, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    @Christoph ::

    I think only Americans can see it do to various intellectual property bullshitery …

    http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/410871/heres-a-goodun

    [Reply]

    Wyrd Reply:
    April 5th, 2012 at 8:44 am

    @SD,

    I watched that episode after I saw your clip.

    It was pretty good.

    One thing though:
    I know a family friend who was recently running a jewelry store. And they would also buy gold for cash. I asked him what was up with all the cash4gold places.

    He explained to me that, at least one part of it was that most of the places that buy gold aren’t doing it in the legally proper manner.

    What they are supposed to do is put the gold on a scale that you can see. A scale that’s been checked out by the state government sometime during the year to ensure it’s a fair and accurate scale.

    Then they’re supposed to pay you some fair market value for the gold.

    But the average joe on the street doesn’t know any of this. And so, they go into a cash 4 gold place and get scammed. The scale may or may not be accurate. And sometimes they might not even let you see it.

    And even if they do use an accurate scale, they might not pay you fair market value for the gold.

    (Now of course if you come in with 3 oz, they’re not gonna tell you it’s only 0.5 oz. But suppose you come in with 3 oz and they weigh it as 2.7 or maybe 2.95? Depending on the number of customers and the price per 0.1 oz that could be a big difference over time..
    And of course on the fair market value–they’re (probably) not gonna offer you lots and lots less than the FMV. They’ll only go as low as they think they can get away with.)

    But by doing those things, they ensure that in the long run, they’ll be making a profit when they turn around and sell that same gold to some larger entity that’s looking to buy some gold.

    So yeah. More scam.

    Sometimes I wonder if the whole modern economic system with its notion of a perpetual upward trend is based on scam.

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    [Reply]

    Lanna Reply:
    April 6th, 2012 at 4:16 am

    @Wyrd,

    This: http://cockeyed.com/citizen/goldkit/cheat.shtml

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    [Reply]

    Wyrd Reply:
    April 6th, 2012 at 10:33 am

    @Lanna,

    Thanks. That’s a good article.

    Of course, IMHO I call any sort of sales process that involves manipulation of perception for misrepresentation a “scam”. Then I further differentiate them into legal scams like the standard used car salesman telling you he’s doing you a favor with the second offer and illegal ones like Stephen Pierce International and IM-MMO in general.

    –
    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    [Reply]

    # 4 April 2012 at 3:46 pm
  • Christoph said:

    Thanks, SD. The URL has the episode name and I can find it that way.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

    [Reply]

    # 4 April 2012 at 4:22 pm

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