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{ featuring }

Snakes on a Plane

By |October 10th, 2013|

Anthony Powell didn’t meet Herbalife’s high {fake} ethical standards :: so after just a couple of decades of letting him do whatever the fuck … they pretended to promptly and politely part ways with his punkass. Fly away chubby […]

Confesstimonial :: Collateral Damage

By |October 4th, 2013|

All you have to do to succeed :: is succeed at convincing others that they can succeed at succeeding … just by convincing others to succeed.

It’s that simple {of a mindfuck}.

Why aren’t you doing it?

Oh and also :: it will […]

Herbalife’s Mexican Laundromat

By |September 26th, 2013|

It’s not fucking good to speculate :: best leave that to the empty heads at the cable news networks … cause it’s kinda their jam. But sometimes a fake robot has gotta speculate :: because certain sorts of stories […]

Profit and Loss

By |September 4th, 2013|

Not many families can functionally recover from a five-figure loss :: but Herbalife CEO Michael O. Johnson and his family certainly could … because he’s spent the last decade profiteering handsomely from hundreds of thousands of other {much poorer} […]

{ the big ones }

  • Empower Network :: Revenge of the Wussies

Empower Network :: Revenge of the Wussies

In the world according to {dumbass} David Wood :: there are only two types of people out there … badasses and wussies.

Badasses go “all in” by pumping $6000 into Dave Wood’s bare naked pyramid […]

  • Ed Dale’s Bankruptcy Challenge

Ed Dale’s Bankruptcy Challenge

Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition […]

  • The Crystallization Method

The Crystallization Method

Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs […]

  • Darker than the DarkSide

Darker than the DarkSide

Dr. Leonard Coldwell is not a doctor :: he’s not a Leonard Coldwell even … he’s NotDoctor Bernd Klein … the pervy little disgrace of Germany. Bernd’s mother Gerda :: knowing immediately what rot […]

  • Elevation Prophets

Elevation Prophets

Mike Dillard is always the shortest “man” in the room :: which is why he’s going miss his hair more than other early aging narcissistic wind bags {quite an accomplishment}  … you can’t hide […]

  • Syndicates on The Verge

Syndicates on The Verge

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?

Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and […]

  • PZ Myers :: GasBag Bigotry

PZ Myers :: GasBag Bigotry

PZ Myers is an evil fucking scumbag.

Maybe not actually. That’s a bit too exciting.

Redundant dirtbag :: or derivative {saggy} dickbag … are probably both more accurate.

The Internets tell me that PZ Myers is an “outspoken atheist” :: […]

  • Spider Shit Storm

Spider Shit Storm

Dave Navarro and Naomi Dunford are having an affair … they’re shagging … they both betrayed their families for a bunch of shagging …

… or something.

I guess :: that’s what everyone tells me … […]

  • Scamming Two Debbies

Scamming Two Debbies

My fake secretary Debbie is quite susceptible to scams.

D-bags often call headquarters looking for an opportunity to suck-up to me and my divine stylings in authorship :: but I usually can’t take their calls {because fucking idiots are […]

  • James Arthur Ray Trial Updates

James Arthur Ray Trial Updates

In October of 2009 :: James Arthur Ray’s $10,000 per head Spiritual Warrior seminar ended in calamity and tragedy. Three people were killed :: eighteen injured {many seriously} :: and thousands of followers were shocked […]

  • Secret Millionaire Secrets Revealed

Secret Millionaire Secrets Revealed

James Malinchak has a millionaire’s smile :: literally :: if smile values were calculated based on awkward surface area … which they are not.  So I guess he doesn’t have a millionaire’s smile so much as a fucked-up-reject […]

  • Who Killed Colleen Conaway? :: Part 2

Who Killed Colleen Conaway? :: Part 2

Who killed Colleen Conaway?

It’s been more than a year and a half :: and although the question is all but answered :: there has still been no official investigation into the dubious circumstances surrounding […]

  • SaltyDroid vs. WikiLeaks

SaltyDroid vs. WikiLeaks

Julian Assange has RasputinEyes™ :: it’s not a fucking compliment.

Grigori Rasputin is famous for nothing. He was a mystic :: or a healer :: or a prophet :: or a monk :: blah blah bullshit […]

  • John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

John Raygoza Scams Yo Momma

The John Raygoza horror story begins :: like so many grimm tales before it :: “Once upon a time” … or “Μια φορά κι έναν καιρό” as they say in Greece when they’re anachronistically speaking Greek.

Once […]

  • Syndicate Shit Storm

Syndicate Shit Storm

2010 started off with so much fake hope :: not to mention a beautiful wedding between two sick old pricks smelling of rot. Oh the memories … it’s costing me so much to have […]

  • Tony Robbins and The Syndicate

Tony Robbins and The Syndicate

Tony Robbins has been foisting his useless frauducts on our society for a quarter of a century. The uncredentialed :: uneducated :: unimaginable bastard pretends to be a “motivator” and “positive thinker” … but […]

  • The Internet Marketing Syndicate

The Internet Marketing Syndicate

The Syndicate.

That’s what they call themselves.  The Syndicate.  Like if they built a fucking tree house {which they probably did} :: then they used a wood burner to carve that name over the extra […]

  • Inside Dot Con Secrets

Inside Dot Con Secrets

Russell Brunson has had a rough life.  Growing up :: all he had was everything :: and you know how hard that can be. Okay maybe you don’t {loser!} :: but that’s your own […]