bullshit

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Prequel

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?

Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?

Shirly those two questions are equivalents?

Was that last question a question?

Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose […]

Swallow Hard

Utah’s Deputy Chief Attorney General :: John Swallow :: wants to replace Mark Shurtleff as the biggest fucking disgrace in the American legal profession … and as the chief legal representative of Utah’s rotting fraud vortex.

Of course the Attorney General is the state’s top legal enforcer :: tasked with prosecuting criminals rather than representing them … but that was […]

Oh the Spider Book Club

Congratulations!

… is how Dr. Seuss’ last book begins.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go is about how life’s all about getting out there and doing it :: hope for the best … knowing that’s almost for sure not what’s going to happen. Cause life is beautiful … but it’s a total fucking bitch. Ride it calm like a wave :: even […]

Crystal Cox’s 5th Amendment Rights

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into …”

… said some peeps from Crystal Cox’s past and present after I slapped her a couple times across her puffy dumb dumb face.

Whatevers :: says me :: you peeps got no idea what I’m already into … this one is nothing to me.

Crystal Cox’s freaknuts bullshit predates the Internet :: […]

Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease :: Attorneys-at-Scam

Are you a soul-destroying scammer who’s irritated by the constitutional rights of the little people?

So annoying!

Are you worried that all your boiler room monies are going to run out now that you’ve burned every fucking bridge in Madison County?

Stupid bridges!

Then Vorys, Sater, Seymour and Pease :: Attorneys-at-Scam can help! At Vorys {pronounced voyeurs} … we believe in your right to […]

Anik Singal NumberOne FunTime Testimonial

Y’all wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been up to … expecially because I’m not going to tell you about it yet.

Muh ha ha?

Meanwhile :: back at fucking StupidTown … Anik Singal needs our help!

Says he via email today …

There is nothing to buy, in fact,
I want to GIVE YOU an opportunity
to do something for ME!

I guess taking is the […]

McGruff Grows Up

Begin lawyer talk in 3 :: 2 :: 1 … oh god make it stop …
Congress passed 15 USC § 6102 to tell the FTC to do something about people being buttholes over the phone :: this was back in the Nineties when Congress still did stuffs without needing to be tazed. It’s the FTC’s job to make the […]

Phones :: Lies :: & AudioTape

Remember when I made us all listen to Debbie :: a secretary in her mid-fifties making $26K :: getting scammed by a Utah boiler room for five figures? It was awful :: lots of people couldn’t listen to it all the way through.

Whatever!

I refuse to accept that. If you want to follow this story :: or be a part […]

Stop Online Plagiarism Act

I’m fucking against the SOPA :: and the PIPA … and the Santa Maria. I just blacked out my whole glorious fake robot site to prove it {and for fear of defying Wikipedia}. According to The Times of New York :: the protests and bellyaching are working … and the stupid old men of the stupid old man Congress […]

Stop Stop Online Piracy Act

The Stop Online Piracy Act is like the DMCA … except worser.

I’m against it.

I think it’s dumb.

I fart in its general direction.

I think it won’t help protect Intellectual Property {a worthy end}.

I’m so against it that I’m embedding the above Vimeo video that other thought leading thought leaders are fearlessly embedding {I haven’t actually watched it but I think […]