Anthony Morrison uses the television to tell people about how HUGE he is on the Interwebs. But most Internet people :: like you people :: have never heard of him. Loving the Internet really cuts into time spent watching shitty 3am infomercials … and fake web-star Morrison has almost no real web presence.
The infomercial is a fake show hosted by Chicken Soup for the Hole dipshit Mark Victor Hansen {pictured here mounting Anthony for reasons I’d better not get into}.

Mark Victor Hansen :: like fellow Soup for the Hole heroes …

FUCK YOU James Arthur Ray :: you motherfucking motherfucker!!
I’m back bitches!  Believe it!
Longest break ever :: but you stupids just kept clicking like a bunch of sheeple :: so I guess I’ll do what I want! No consequences!
Exclamation points!!
Remember when James Arthur Ray got convicted of negligent homicide?  Yeah … it was so awesome.
Fuck you James Arthur Ray :: you suck monkey! Did I already say that? Sorry :: I’m just passionate :: like Luis Li … except in a non-douchey-poser kind of way.
Self-imposed “ban on senselessly excessive profanity while covering …

I’m back!
… sort of.
… not really.
… leave me alone!
… not really.
… sort of.
Weddings are like a whole big thing :: and I have responsibilities :: for instance … standing around next to cakes looking menacing for my size.
Convicted felon James Arthur Ray {ah … that felt good} :: is still out on bail while he awaits sentencing {which prolly won’t happen until next month because America is stupid}. This week the State will call witnesses in an effort to prove “aggravating factors” that will allow for a longer maximum sentence. But the ultimate length of …

Sometimes white ladies kill their babies :: they probably don’t mean it as a favor to CNN … but it is one.
Last week the State of Arizona completed its case against James Death Ray.  CNN is no longer covering the trial because they’re super busy looking at weather maps and buying new touch screens for zooming in on Wolf Blitzer’s beard. But they were back on the scene today in case the defense’s obligatory motion for acquittal was granted.
It wasn’t.

 
– #JamesRay Sheila :: Sheila :: Sheila :: Sheila!! #

 
– Ms. Polk :: …

I’ve been looking for James Ray :: have you seen him? He’s like a tall guy :: concave mouth :: spray on tan :: walks around like an angry chicken is nesting at the far end of his colon?
It’s not a big deal or anything :: it’s just that I found some of his pills near my grandpa’s socks :: and I wanted to give them back. I know how serious it can be for a fake Samurai to lose his insecurity pills.
You’d think he’d be easy to find :: I …

CNN is pulling its coverage of the James Arthur Ray trial :: probably because Luis Li is so horrible to watch. It is said that the sound of his droning :: arrogant :: little voice can cause diarrhea :: foaming at the mouth :: and dilated pupils. It’s not true :: but it is said :: so let’s talk about it for a couple of hours … Luis Li style!
But seriously … CNN is joke.
I know you people are complaining to them.  Good idea :: let um have it!
But also :: they were using a satellite van to …

James Arthur Ray has no defense … literally. His actions on October 8th were bizarrely :: and brazenly :: evil. No still functioning human can identify with his heartless and uncaring actions {and inactions}.
So his trial team is going with obstructionism :: which is prolly strategically smart  :: but it’s ethically disgusting.
Over the weekend they filed an “emergency” motion for a mistrial citing the State’s “willful” suppression of exculpatory evidence. The defense says an early report prepared for the State by an environmental expert {who was withdrawn as a witness} should have …

In October of 2009 :: James Arthur Ray’s $10,000 per head Spiritual Warrior seminar ended in calamity and tragedy. Three people were killed :: eighteen injured {many seriously} :: and thousands of followers were shocked to learn the true dark nature of the man they’d been paying large sums to follow.
James Arthur Ray’s trial for the manslaughter of James Shore :: Kirby Brown :: and Liz Neuman began March 1st 2011.
This page contains a summary of events :: important documents :: links :: and videos relating to the trial. It will …

“I’m not guilty!”
Squeals Jeremy Johnson in re Jeremy Johnson on iworkslive.com :: a now disappeared website that Johnson put up shortly after the FTC sued his sorry ass for $275 million dollars worth of soul sucking. Most of Johnson’s sites are still up :: but this one came down after just a week or so :: probably after one of his attorneys said something like :: “So I guess you’re stupid then? You WANT to go to fucking jail or something? You have the right to remain SILENT … ever heard that?”
So he took …

CNN blows fishy chunks!!  Has CNN’s suck-a-tude ruined America? A non-commissioned panel of panelists issues a report saying maybe/probably :: more after the break!!
{begin break :: insert CNN sponsors}

Dow Chemicals :: you’ll love our yummy chemicals.

BP :: Green … Environment … Sustainable … Adorable Babies … and just a dash of burning stuff.

Lockheed Martin :: killing just got a little easier.
{end break}
The autopsy reports were released in the James Arthur Ray manslaughter case.  You’ll never guess what they said.  Do you want to guess?  I’ll wait … waiting … still waiting … let’s go to …