Frank Kern

Empower Network :: Revenge of the Wussies

In the world according to {dumbass} David Wood :: there are only two types of people out there … badasses and wussies.

Badasses go “all in” by pumping $6000 into Dave Wood’s bare naked pyramid scheme :: the Empower Network … while loving every minute of it.

Wussies … don’t.

Things are just that simple to Wood :: because he is a […]

Ed Dale’s Bankruptcy Challenge

Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition of Ed Dale’s temporal realities.

“Underachiever” wrongly implies that at least something has been achieved. And while “tubby” is clearly true enough :: being a “nerd” […]

Caging Kevin Trudeau

The FTC thinks Kevin Trudeau needs to go to jail :: which sounds pretty awesome … maybe they’re finally going to start doing something other than pretending like they’re doing something?

Nope!

Kevin Trudeau :: like so many other scammers … signed a consent order with the FTC over some flagrantly stupid shit that he’d done. Right after signing that order in […]

Goodbye SaltyDroid :: Hello Boring

Do u love this blog?

Well then fuck you :: cause this ain’t no blog … and if you really loved it you’d’ve already known that.

Here’s how to blog :: in five easy steps …
1)  write an opening sentence that attempts to be quippy … and fails
2) add a couple of lines about this or that problem … or this […]

Hulk Hogan Sex Tape Prequel

Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?

Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?

Shirly those two questions are equivalents?

Was that last question a question?

Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose […]

The Secret Hitler

Sometimes I’ve tried to be fucking funny about how The Secret has ruined :: and ended … people’s lives. Mike Filsaime and Andy Jenkins think I’m the comedy bomb … but I’m not sure I can compete with these girls.

You can’t fucking compete with AmericanGirls :: that’s the lesson of recent events … U – S – A … U […]

Footprints on the Fire

People got burned at a Tony Robbins event :: it’s true of every Tony Robbins event … but this time some meat space flesh was involved … so I guess that makes it an official media story.

21 people treated for burns after firewalk at Tony Robbins appearance :: reported the San Jose Mercury News after the locally held event …

At […]

Confesstimonial :: Mike Koenigs Instant Enemies

I didn’t write this post :: but I made up the word “confesstimonial” {because making up words is my long tail SEO strategy} … so 100% of the internet monies from this post will go to me {or maybe to Arianna Huffington}. I plan to invest most of those monies in silver … so that’s just stacking wins on […]

Sonia Simone’s Shame

Sonia Simone and Naomi Dunford are BFFs :: they bonded early {and often} over their mutual love of other people’s money. In a 2008 post on Sonia’s typepad blog :: celebrating her one whole year anniversary in blogging … she gave a shout out to the unlovely Ms. Spider Dunford …

The now-infamous Naomi Dunford found Remarkable Communication right around the […]

The Prosper Chronicles {451}

Something wicked this way comes :: let’s be blunt … it’s Utah. You’d think they’d be extra not wicked :: what with even their underwear wearing codified and regulated :: but no … they’re totally wicked. Utah is the heart of darkness :: but you fuckers don’t care … my multiyear ball busting Utah coverage is about as popular as […]