Jeremy Johnson :: The Christ-like Ginger King of the Mormon Mafia … in The New York Times.
It’s good … but it’s bad.
In Utah, a Local Hero Accused
Seems like a pretty fucking annoying headline :: because JJ is so obviously not a hero … but he was in fact a local hero. It says something scary dangerous about the particular local.
Here’s Utah’s sitting Attorney General at the time :: Mark Shurtleff … accepting the Best of State Humanitarian Award in the stead of “his friend” Jeremy Johnson.

Shurtleff fucking tweeted it :: so …

R u Rippln?
One ripple creates another ripple in a beautiful sequence of ever repeating ripples until :: !!boom!! … holy fucking shit you’re so fucking rich right now. You make Warren Buffet look like Ed Dale :: and all you had to do was sign up for a free app … or something … it totally works.
According to the lie-marketing :: Rippln is going to be bigger than Facebook + Twitter … so text your mom about this opportunity right away.

“In fact, some are saying it’s the biggest breakthrough since email.”

In fact :: …

Last week :: the FTC filed an amended complaint in the case against one of Utah’s {via New York City} worst boiler rooms … The Tax Club. The new complaint seems aimed at shoring up the government’s argument that the dozens of shell companies :: merchant accounts :: and bank accounts involved … were all in service of the same fraudulent scheme … and that most of the profits from that scheme had flowed through to just two assholes.
Michael Savage and Tedd Johnson … d-bags extraordinaire.
According to the complaint :: The Tax Club fraud scheme was …

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.
… or something.
It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer” … having had no real legal experience before becoming Utah’s chief legal officer. Unless you count losing elections and lobbying for the payday loan …

Funny story :: one of Utah’s largest boiler rooms … is located in New York City. That’s the end of the funny part of the story :: I hope you laughed your ass off … because the rest of it is fucking terrible.
The Tax Club :: Earning more than your trust
Or as the FTC :: and the New York and Florida Attorney Generals :: put it in their lawsuit last week …

“This scam has victimized thousands of individual consumers, many of whom are unemployed or elderly. Defendants have defrauded each victim …

Jeremy Johnson is totally innocent :: just kidding … he was going to accept a plea deal that had him only doing 10 years in prison rather than the 12,000 years he’d need to do in order for his time to be commensurate with his fucked up crimes.
But he’s innocent according to this little propaganda video he had made about his innocence …

… I’d tell a joke about it :: but I’m sure you’re already laughing.
The plea deal fell apart :: with Johnson wanting a list of people the government would agree …

Herbalife is fucked … ask me how!
But seriously.
Don’t ask me how :: cause I was already going to tell you … keep your stupid questions to yourself.
-f-u-c-k-e-d-

Over the past three decades Los Angeles based {via the Cayman Islands} Herbalife has pretended to sell various products that pretended to promise to make you thin and pure or whatever … like a rainbow. The fake claims used to be bold enough to occasionally irritate the FDA into partial action :: but by now the product claims are more like … “comes in nine flavors …

The Cato Institute :: a libertarian think tank {like a shark tank but with nerds} … was originally founded in 1974 as the Charles Koch Foundation. Charles Koch :: and his brother Joe Hardy … go around solving various mysteries down at the old lighthouse. No wait that’s wrong. Charles Koch :: and his brother David Koch … go around giving money to any mouth-breather willing to spout off about how the government is the root of all our problems.
The government is the root of all our problems. Or to …

Donate to the Kevin Trudeau legal defense fund now! Now motherfuckers … NOW!

“Here’s the bottom line. I believe the government wants to lock me in prison for life and virtually burn all of my books. Your first amendment right to FREEDOM OF SPEECH is being violated.”

You’ve prolly never heard of virtual book burnings :: cause it’s totally 2.0 … and you’re a 1.5 at best … which is why you’re always being virtually violated.
It’s not Kevin’s not-right to do whatever the fucks Kevin wants that’s under threat here … it’s …

The FTC thinks Kevin Trudeau needs to go to jail :: which sounds pretty awesome … maybe they’re finally going to start doing something other than pretending like they’re doing something?
Nope!
Kevin Trudeau :: like so many other scammers … signed a consent order with the FTC over some flagrantly stupid shit that he’d done. Right after signing that order in 2004 :: he started taking a piss on it … just like he’s been taking a piss on all sorts of rules and regulations for the last decades.
Consent orders are fucking …