Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein’s latest too dumb to be true frauduct :: BeachMillions!  It works like this …
1.  You never :: ever :: never :: ever go to the beach … just like Harlan.
2.  You don’t make any money … just like Harlan.
It’s been over a year since my first post about Not-Doctor Shitstein.  During that time he has become less and less popular :: even among life long assholes. His perverted shenanigans aren’t appreciated by ANYONE :: and the prospect of Law of Attracting my attention by promoting him has made him a virtual …

When we last checked in with Doctor Harlan Kilstein :: he was not a doctor … but he was a perverted :: d-bag :: know nothing :: sick-o :: fucking lunatic who was stealing money from the weak and vulnerable.  Let’s check in on him again shall we?
{uses chopsticks to slightly part Kilstein’s Pee ‘n Sweat ‘n Jizz™ stained curtains :: Up Periscope [ten foot pole edition] :: deep breath :: open eye and look}
Yep yep! Same same :: but now with even more fat and salt.
Do you {insert anything}?  …

Question :: Who is Jeff “Herschy” Schwerdt?
Answer :: Nobody.
That is technically the correct answer :: but it’s a bit short :: expandification required …
Jeff “SkidMark” Schwerdt is the Father {aka non-vaginal birth giver} of the Cash Flow Funnel. This is an “Extremely Limited Offer” :: in that almost nothing is on offer.  Get in NOW before it flows the rest of the way down Jeff’s leg and on to the ground :: wisdom lost forever!
But Jeff is not just about funnels and regulating his flow.  He also describes himself as …

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January has been a busy month for the Vicious Garden Gnome Mike Filsaime.  First he had his big {/little} Internet Marketing Cruise :: For Pedophiles .. By Pedophiles :: which went over like pancakes dipped in shit.  In the rumors I’m starting … the whole thing was a money losing disaster of paranoia and uncomfortable sex.  Loneliness in numbers :: yours for the low low price of EVERYTHING.
But now it’s time to party like it’s 1899!
:: Affiliate Appreciation Weekend ::
Explain it to us Gnome …

“I am spending about $100,000 on …

Each year the tiny town of GnomeVille has a pissing contest :: literally.  The winner of the contest gets to spend several decades selling used cars in what the GardenGnomes call :: “the big people world!” :: One such lil’ pissin’ champion was turdy little troll {because even gnomes can be trolls} Mike Filsaime.  After pissin’ big :: Mike did something none of the other gnomes had ever done :: he quit selling used cars. The Vicious Garden Gnome thought he could make more money by selling nothing :: for …

Quick shout out to the Hypocrite Saint Russell Brunson. Recently Russell “generously” donated $50,000 of the money his boiler room hustled off of unsuspecting victims :: in order to name one of the Virgin America planes {whoopty fuckin’ doo}.  I thought maybe he could use some help coming up with something original {dot com}.
Russell gives {venereal diseases to glasses of milk} :: and gives {‘kay?} :: and gives {the only thing he does more is take}.  This past August he took part in an effort to raise money for the …

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Salty Droid:  So I believe we had established that you are a Mormon Internet scammer living in an RV down by the Mississippi river :: Does that sound right Teacup?
Jason Jones: Close enough.
Salty Droid:  I see you’ve thrown down more visuals :: looks fucking official :: you’ll excuse me if I don’t read it.
Jason Jones: The last post produced some very interesting results as expected, but there were still a few residual doubters. So please enjoy my law license, my law school diploma, and the envelope in which they remain …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein hasn’t been having much success in business lately.  Sure he still has his pretend “seven figure Internet business” :: and that’s doing great … it will be manifesting itself into an eight figure mega-empire in no time.  But back here on Earth :: where Newtonian Physics still reign supreme :: in a humble little place called MOTHER FUCKING REALITY! :: he’s be sucking even by his own hardcore sucktacular standards.
Tactic 7 :: A $3000 sink to the bottom turd == Epic Fail {ask Google if you’d like …

Which of the three turds on the right :: matches the turd on the left?  Wait :: Wait :: Don’t answer that yet.  First let the other people at your table answer …
Al Gore:  The correct answer is one … the hot chick at the death cover up party.
Bono:  It’s one … the dancing dark demon of disco.
Abraham Lincoln:  One.
Britney Spears: It’s one … “Oops, sometimes people die at the mall” girl.
… okay now you.  And everyone is going to hear your answer.
In the Asch Confromity Experiment :: it’s not …

Why didn’t James Arthur Ray’s Death Lodge victims get up and leave before their internal organs shut down?  It was hot as hell in there :: and it must’ve stunk of sweaty white people.  And why would anyone pay 10K for that crap-fest in the first place?
Why would otherwise smart people give Not-Doctor Kilstein $2,000 per month for Not-Coaching?
Why did Colleen jump?
Why did people pay $800 per month for BullShit StomperNet?
Why are Sheeple so fucking gullible?
Why? :: Why? :: Why? :: blah :: blah :: blah.
Why are we still asking …