Hearts on Fire

James Arthur Ray :: the play … okay?

Tickets are $15,000 :: no refunds … or complaining.

Okay maybe not :: tickets are some other price that won’t tend to make random people on the interwebz exclaim … “you deserve to die!”

But getting to Scotland isn’t easy :: unless you’re Mary Poppins … or god. Fortunately I am :: god that is …

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Salty Droid 2011

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.

The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.

Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!

Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.

Zero lawsuits …

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Harmonic Indigence

James Arthur Ray is rotting in jail right now because he kills people :: and because Munger Tolles & Olson didn’t put on a credible defense that the jury could believe. Internet trolls came up with better defense theories than Luis Li and Brad Brian.

Truc Do had never lost a case … but then she moved to MTO and immediately suffered defeat. It’s almost like God abandoned her :: but PZ Myers says we aren’t allowed to believe in God …

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Sean Stephenson :: Doing it in the But

Size matters :: in certain things … like illegal cockfighting. You want to have the biggest cock if you plan to go home with some of them sweet sweet cockfighting monies. Some people might tell you that smaller cocks often win out … but those people haven’t been certified in Cockmaster Shamanism by the employees of a Carnival cruise ship like I have {it’s kinda a big deal}.

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James Arthur Ray :: Life Sentence

You know who’s in jail right fucking now?

Orenthal James Simpson

He killed Ron and Nicole … and then walked after a┬ádisastrous┬ácelebri-trial that made everyone look bad … and locked in Los Angeles’ hold on the title of most pathetic and useless American city {sorry Cleveland … you tried}.

But things didn’t really work out for that murdering motherfucker in the end …

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