James Arthur Ray :: the play … okay?
Tickets are $15,000 :: no refunds … or complaining.
Okay maybe not :: tickets are some other price that won’t tend to make random people on the interwebz exclaim … “you deserve to die!”
But getting to Scotland isn’t easy :: unless you’re Mary Poppins … or god. Fortunately I am :: god that is … not Mary Poppins.
I am god.
Okay maybe not :: but I do have interesting and articulate readers all over the world … including The Scot-lands. It makes me feel quite …

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.
The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.
Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!
Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.
Zero lawsuits … again.
Zero fight backs … again {unless you count fake death threats … I don’t … thanks for doubling my stats Spider Bitch}.
Zero man ups :: as always … and forever.
Popular Mechanics …

James Arthur Ray is rotting in jail right now because he kills people :: and because Munger Tolles & Olson didn’t put on a credible defense that the jury could believe. Internet trolls came up with better defense theories than Luis Li and Brad Brian.
Truc Do had never lost a case … but then she moved to MTO and immediately suffered defeat. It’s almost like God abandoned her :: but PZ Myers says we aren’t allowed to believe in God … and he has a dirty beard and droopy eyes …

Size matters :: in certain things … like illegal cockfighting. You want to have the biggest cock if you plan to go home with some of them sweet sweet cockfighting monies. Some people might tell you that smaller cocks often win out … but those people haven’t been certified in Cockmaster Shamanism by the employees of a Carnival cruise ship like I have {it’s kinda a big deal}.
But size doesn’t matter in matters of the heart. Like having a black :: cold :: vaguely turd like :: heart … …

You know who’s in jail right fucking now?
Orenthal James Simpson
He killed Ron and Nicole … and then walked after a disastrous celebri-trial that made everyone look bad … and locked in Los Angles’ hold on the title of most pathetic and useless American city {sorry Cleveland … you tried}.
But things didn’t really work out for that murdering motherfucker in the end … and that disastrous trial was an important beginning to the long form justice that he was eventually served.
James Arthur Ray was sentenced to two measly years for the horribly painful deaths …

James Arthur Ray :: frumpy parasite :: is going to fucking jail {one hopes}.
Death Ray continues to hard-sell the dream :: but the dream has died the death of a dream that never lived.

When Mr. Ray’s house was recently foreclosed on, his parents took him in, and he has since resided in their home in Oceanside, California. [Defense Presentence Memo]

Harmonic Wealth.
Girlfriend … gone.

Harmonic Sex.

During the trial, his attorneys argued that the deaths were accidental, perhaps due to some unknown toxin that might have been present … jurors were not persuaded. …

<recycle>
A few years ago NBC was all about dry humping James Arthur Ray. They :: and their lazy affiliates :: brought him on multiple times as an “expert” on finance :: or success :: or whatever the fuck.
“Oh James! You’re so steroid & fake tan adorable. Love me! Tell us all about the success of being an Oprah guest. Your book has the word wealth in the title :: what’s it like to have infinite wealth :: success :: and happiness? I think the viewers would love to know. Oh what’s …

More charges need to be brought against motherfucking bastard James Arthur Ray … right this second!! What in the hell is wrong with this lame ass country? But I suppose I already made that point.
Munger Tolles & Olsen’s request for a retrial in the death lodge case has been denied … because it was stupid and they are crap lawyers who will get you put in the jails rich corporate guy who is currently reading this five years later.
The foreman of the jury had the following to say :: in a must …

Irwin Frank Kern :: professional twat :: recently requested help naming his fake book.
We helped :: cause we cool like that.
Many entries contained humorousness :: but I won!

We could have another contest to help name fuckhead James Arthur Ray’s next stupid book :: but why bother when Yakaru already won?

Both books will be written in crayon.
Thank you for shopping at D-Bag Books … were we always pretend to appreciate your patronage.
>> bleep bloop

Dr. Tony Alessandra is a “professional” speaker :: and he definitely does not live in a van down by the river … too many crackheads down there. It’s best to keep the van on the move :: maybe take your under-appreciated daughter on a road trip to a beauty pageant with someone from The Daily Show. Stuff like that. There’s lots of great things to do with a van you happen to be living in :: this whole “down by the river” stereotype really peeves The Tony.
Doctor of the professional speaking arts Tony Alessandra welcomes you …