The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.
Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.
Per the usual :: the …

Clint Dempsey scored the first ever American hat-trick in England’s Premier League! It’s no big deal or anything :: unless you love the world’s most popular sport … or you love America {or Texas I guess} … then maybe it’s kinda a big deal.
Sure :: it’s got jack shit to do with this blog … but Jason’s been sick so just fucking deal with it.
Too much TV has been proven by dentists to help with the flu :: and maybe even the plague … so you’re covered if things turn …

I’m fucking against the SOPA :: and the PIPA … and the Santa Maria. I just blacked out my whole glorious fake robot site to prove it {and for fear of defying Wikipedia}. According to The Times of New York :: the protests and bellyaching are working … and the stupid old men of the stupid old man Congress {which is like a series of intestinal tubes} are caving.

“A freshman senator, Marco Rubio of Florida, a rising Republican star, was first out of the starting gate Wednesday morning with his …

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.
The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.
Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!
Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.
Zero lawsuits … again.
Zero fight backs … again {unless you count fake death threats … I don’t … thanks for doubling my stats Spider Bitch}.
Zero man ups :: as always … and forever.
Popular Mechanics …

The Tax Club just wants to help people … it’s all about helping. That’s why The Tax Club CEO Michael Savage went on the Fox & Friends to offer up his fancy inauguration tickets to river pilot Sully Sullenberger. It was quite a touching moment of selfless self-promotion.
Paying your taxes can be complicated :: especially when your fake business doesn’t make any money :: and that’s where The Tax Club comes in … specializing in tax preparation for businesses without business. Why wait to pay an accountant in the future for services …

Jeremy Johnson is fighting back against the injustice of he himself and him not being allowed to perpetrate wanton injustice upon those less fortunate than himself and his mommy’s mommy.
He’s fought back before :: because like many spoiled Chihuahuas :: he’s all snippy and just wants to pee wherever. Last time he told us about how he couldn’t be guilty because Utah’s very own Attorney General was on his side …

As further testament to I-Works efforts to be in compliance we invited the Attorney General of Utah, Mark Shurtleff, in …

My fake secretary Debbie is quite susceptible to scams.
D-bags often call headquarters looking for an opportunity to suck-up to me and my divine stylings in authorship :: but I usually can’t take their calls {because fucking idiots are boring} … and they end up selling Debbie on some blueprint to international bestselling good fortune instead.
I call her names :: like ding-dong and bat-brain :: but that never seems to help … so I mostly just laugh at her. It’s fun to laugh at people who are already suffering :: it’s like a 2-for-1 Groupon for …

Utah based Professional Marketing International is a proud member of the Alliance for Lifelong Learning. According to The Alliance …

“Consumers can be assured that Members of the Alliance for Lifelong Learning maintain the highest level of integrity; employ experienced qualified instructors, coaches, and mentors; and follow strict standards and practices.”

Utah’s stellar Attorney General Mark Shurtleff helped to set-up The Alliance :: apparently to make sure everything continued to run smoothly in Utah’s lucrative fraud exporting sector.
When PMI’s head-honcho Phil Smith isn’t boiling leads for hack-bastard-morons like Anthony Morrison and Dean Graziosi … he’s serving as …

Dean Graziosi thinks anytime is a good time to sell you on the idea that now is the right time to make an unjustifiable fortune flipping real estate. It’s a great opportunity for stay-at-home moms and people on disability to get out there and take action … I guess.
You know what they say about real estate … it only goes up. Or at least that’s what Goldman Sachs says while they’re selling you a real estate based derivative that they’re betting against behind your back. Suck it pensioners :: that’s what you get for not …

Smile big for your rich mommy! She so proud …
Jeremy Johnson’s mugshot :: courtesy of The Salt Lake Tribune :: and by “courtesy” I mean … I took it!
Oh my heck {Mormon swearing} :: it’s Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.  I’ll bet I know what he’s doing in this picture … nothing.
Because nothing is his job … the easiest job in the whole game.
Johnson seems to be under the impression that he’s going to a Sadie Hawkins dance.
Hey hayseed!
It’s the Feds :: in Federal Court :: you’re fucking doomed.
From the …