Emmediate Political Solutions

John-Swallow-has-friends

This Salt Lake City Weekly cover story is fucking amazing :: in a “sticking it to the badguys” kind of way … and fucking depressing … in a “this is how it’s going in our society” kind of way. Bad Company: An ex-con who says he raised funds for John Swallow is nowhere to be found on the AG’s campaign records. Eric Peterson :: “crushing it”… to use a totally pointless phrase popularized by someone totally pointless who I fucking hate.

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Herbalife vs Black People

Herbalife-African-American-Initiative

You know who loves them some Herbalife? iStockphoto black people … they’re fucking nuts for it.

But iStockphotos don’t have wallets :: or credit cards :: or retirement accounts :: or exploitable fears about future uncertainty … so Herbalife was hoping to increase their pyramid scheme’s reach with real live black people instead.

They started the African-American Initiative :: which is just what it sounds like … equal opportunity business opportunity scamming.

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Am I Not A Lawyer?

Every motherfucking horror show on display-archive here :: can be traced back to Mark Shurtleff via a not-fun not-drinking game I like to call … Six Degrees of Rotten Bacon. The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.

Eternity in Mormon hell would probably be just enough time for Mark Shurtleff to repay the debt he owes to the universe for his direct personal contribution to a great black cloud of human suffering :: but given his rank in The Church … I guess he’s actually more in line to become the god of his own planet …

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Jesus Christ Utah Star

Jeremy Johnson :: The Christ-like Ginger King of the Mormon Mafia … in The New York Times.

It’s good … but it’s bad.

In Utah, a Local Hero Accused

Seems like a pretty fucking annoying headline :: because JJ is so obviously not a hero … but he was in fact a local hero. It says something scary dangerous about the particular local.

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Krispy Kreme Konservatives

Utah’s new {but already fucking corrupt} Attorney General John Swallow is a “real conservative” :: not some fake ass conservative like Mitt Romney … or Hitler. “Real conservatives” make home-craft-sunset-word-art for Republican nominating conventions :: fake conservatives move to Berkeley and get AIDS … simple as that.

… or something.

It’s lucky for Mr. Swallow that he’s a “real conservative” :: because he’s certainly not a “real lawyer”

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