Gnomes :: a tiny race of colorful madmen … tend to be fiercely protective of their reputations. Scammer Internet Marketing Gnomes like lil’ piss-biscuit Mike Filsaime {not to be confused with all the totally legit Internet marketing gnomes} … are especially protective of their reputations because their whole fake life is balanced on the fulcrum of a thin illusion.
So like if there was a registered sex offender organizing a family Internet Marketing cruise for one of his Gnomish companies :: he would fire that person the minute he found out about the pedophilia …

Every time I ask my fake secretary Debbie to take a letter :: she uses purple ink … it’s daft not adorable … but there’s no convincing her.

“We’re talking to the banking system here Debbie :: for christ’s sake … use a word processor.”

… says me.
But I’m capital :: and she’s labor … and if I don’t let her use purple she’ll organize and I’ll be left with striking Debbies who expect sick days and maternity leave.
To PowerPay.biz :: merchant account processor to the opposite of the stars :: June …

You know I hate me some gnomes :: the hats :: the tiny dumb dancing :: the chirp chirp singing … and of course the fucking scamming. Maybe it’s not fair to judge all gnomes based on my limited experience with them :: but so what … I don’t have to be fair to gnomes. Fuck you gnomes :: go away and fix some stuff with your dumb little tool sacks.
The Gnome I know is in The Syndicate :: has terrible ideas for family vacations :: has anachronistic disrespect for the …

Begin lawyer talk in 3 :: 2 :: 1 … oh god make it stop …
Congress passed 15 USC § 6102 to tell the FTC to do something about people being buttholes over the phone :: this was back in the Nineties when Congress still did stuffs without needing to be tazed. It’s the FTC’s job to make the actual rules :: which they do after a prescribed period for public comment where interested parties who have enough money to hire lobbyists … like the Direct Marketing Association … can …

Remember that time when I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch?
Boom!
Pow!
Smack!
Slam!
Whamo!
Okay :: yeah … it’s happened a lot. I like to do things that are easy :: it makes me feel good about myself … like pictures in ridiculous hats.

{start over}
Remember all those times I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch {BLB}?
You fucking better … we were just talking about it. Why can’t you remember important shit that we were just talking about? You were never like that before.  Are you taking those danged dirty drugs? …

When life hands you lemons :: tie life up at gun point and be like … how u like me now life?

… or at least assault a police officer :: violate your probation … and keep being a complete and total fucking junkie.
If only boiler room suck-job John Paul Raygoza had better taste in motivational wall hangings :: he may have avoided the jail time that is sure to follow the problems his actions have piled on top of the problems he created with his other actions … it’s complicated. Like …

Psychopaths fucking love pity parties :: but they also love real parties … because of the free drinks … and jumbo shrimps … and opportunities to steal jewelry and/or spouses.
Stephen Pierce had a party in 2007 :: it was for millionaires only bitches :: or at least for people comfortable saying the word millionaire … very exclusive stuff. Malaysian Internet Marketing expert Patric Chan was at this exclusivity party :: and he told me all about it on his sales page … because that makes perfect sense.

I’m not sure whether …

1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths / psychopaths / conscienceless-freaks … 4% … holy fuck! … that’s way more than you thought … assuming you’d ever bothered to thought about it.
20 of 25 Salty Droid targets are sociopaths :: hopefully :: cause that’s kinda the point.
Some distinguishing traits of the psychopath :: according to wikipedia’s version of Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Check List …

Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
Callousness; lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Need for stimulation/proneness …

Two lawyers walk into a bar ::
Lawyer 1:  Let’s call The Salty Droid and –
Lawyer 2: Thanks for the beer, see you around {sound of saloon door swinging on its hinges}.
Lawyers :: you see :: have an aversion to fake robots … and risks … and technologies more complicated than blackberries {the fruit} … and things that can’t be classified into check-box forms and filed alphabetically.
So when lawyers do call in on the fake robot hotline :: they’re wanting favors not troubles :: and they usually start off just like …

I want to be your mentor :: because I am full of success {says me}. You want to be my mentee :: because you are full of fail {says you}. Great :: let’s sign a contract! Here’s how it will work …
1. you give me all you monies
2. thanks!
That’s a great business model for me because of the part where I took your money. It’s not so great for you because of the part where you got robbed :: but fuck you :: that’s what you get for believing stuff just …