Have you heard about not-rocker Dave Navarro’s funny news?
No?
Good :: then I get to be the one to tell you … he abandoned his kids {in the worst way} and his wife {in the worst way} for a fake business and a fat girl.
Hooray!
LOL
Hooray!
LOL
Says Dave in a pathetic fucking sales email last week …

So I have a bit of funny news for you.
As of Monday morning, my heart and mind belong to IttyBiz.
Which is a bit of a laugh for me because I’d swore I’d never take a “day job” again.
But …

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.
The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.
Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!
Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.
Zero lawsuits … again.
Zero fight backs … again {unless you count fake death threats … I don’t … thanks for doubling my stats Spider Bitch}.
Zero man ups :: as always … and forever.
Popular Mechanics …

Sometimes even elves are naughty :: like Caffeinated Elf Rachael Acklin getting involved in Crystal Cox’s Depressing-n-Grotesque Pornography™.
No :: thankfully … not that kind of naughty.
Tweets Rachael :: who I refuse to call Rhiannon …

Help me bring my little girl home, and get a website, logo, header, and coaching at half off.

An unorthodox reason to have a sale for sure :: but in fairness … Rachael’s IttyBiz has always been uterocentric. The Demented Elf tweetlinks to what might be the worst sales page ever …

Dearest darling, this email is a very …

Kim Jong-il :: the great leader of the comrades and god of the many-flowered moons :: is dead at the age of whatever. After his long battle with whatever :: he lost and died … and now I laugh in his dead face.
Above is how the North Koreans {who are just like the regular Koreans except starving} learned of Kim’s timely demise. In case you can’t read Korean sign language :: I think she says something like …
“The Queen is dead … long live the Queen!”
Speaking of Queens :: poor …

NotDoctor Sean Stephenson :: BFF of James Arthur Ray :: was recently engaged to the lovely Mindie Kniss. He told us about it {above} while in California speaking at the SANG conference. SANG is a totally innocent networking group cofounded by legend of black business :: and founder of Black America Online :: Stephen “Roc” Pierce.
Little connections like that are fun. It’s not a conspiracy against the customers or anything … just a few totally random coincidences that couldn’t possibly mean anything other than fun.
Mindie and Sean’s love is so …

Let’s talk about Rachael. It’s obviously what Rachael wants to talk about … other NotRachael things aren’t interesting to Rachael.
Rachael Acklin is the “Caffeinated Elf” :: and she would love for you to join her Rachael based community … the Caffeinated Business Community. For just $20 a month you can access all of the advantages of being in a forum with an absolute nobody like Rachael Acklin.
Rachael’s caffeinated about page lists her various qualifications to bizness coach you to infinity and beyond …

“My oldest two kids were born during my …

1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths / psychopaths / conscienceless-freaks … 4% … holy fuck! … that’s way more than you thought … assuming you’d ever bothered to thought about it.
20 of 25 Salty Droid targets are sociopaths :: hopefully :: cause that’s kinda the point.
Some distinguishing traits of the psychopath :: according to wikipedia’s version of Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Check List …

Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
Callousness; lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Need for stimulation/proneness …

Manipulation :: if you act now :: for the whole family … and you can too!
A lot of weak and wimpy shiteaters out there think that manipulation is a bad thing :: but spider monster Naomi Dunford knows better …
… infantile manipulation …
See :: everybody’s a master manipulator :: even PreemieJack and the other lil’ babies out there …

… fucking propagandists one and all.
Baby after baby demanding that their basic human needs be met by the person responsible for meeting those needs. It’s sick.
Dave Navarro released a blogging about blogging …

Alison Newton met Dave Navarro 17 years ago at NC State. They were close friends for years before they decided to get matching last names. The matching names were a commitment that they both took seriously. They had both come from severely broken homes :: and both were determined to protect their own children from the same fate.
By the time I met Alison Navarro a couple of months ago :: Naomi Dunford and the cult of Internet Marketing had already destroyed everything that Dave and Alison had worked so hard to build. …

Naomi Dunford spent years poisoning Dave Navarro against his own family. She succeeded in getting him to walk out without warning … and without explanation. Unless you want to count :: “I just wanna work on my business” :: as a valid explanation for abandoning your wife and kids … but I don’t.
Naomi’s propaganda campaign to blame Dave’s brother Anthony for everything {including Dave’s deciding not to visit his kids for six straight months} :: which was most recently echoed by University of Minnesota Morris Professor PZ Myers :: began almost immediately.
As …