Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition of Ed Dale’s temporal realities.
“Underachiever” wrongly implies that at least something has been achieved. And while “tubby” is clearly true enough :: being a “nerd” requires more than buying an iPad and using Facebook to rip off a bunch of grannies.
I’m thinking something like UnderTubby would be more accurate :: more descriptive … and more fun.
UnderTubby …

President Obama :: and his The Choom Gang having ass … wins a second term … and promptly moves the Capital 2 Seattle.
W00t! … what a fucking relief.
Fake robots don’t care about the politics of politics :: but let’s face the facts here people … Mitt Romney is from Scamworld. That article on The Verge :: or this one on Mother Jones :: or this one on Salon :: or this crap right here on The Droid about the kid torturing assholes … barely even touch the surface of it.
It’s scary …

I didn’t write this post :: but I made up the word “confesstimonial” {because making up words is my long tail SEO strategy} … so 100% of the internet monies from this post will go to me {or maybe to Arianna Huffington}. I plan to invest most of those monies in silver … so that’s just stacking wins on top of wins for me right there.
Confesstimonials are first hand accounts from people with direct personal knowledge of these terrible situations. They’d like to speak out and litter the internets with …

Sonia Simone and Naomi Dunford are BFFs :: they bonded early {and often} over their mutual love of other people’s money. In a 2008 post on Sonia’s typepad blog :: celebrating her one whole year anniversary in blogging … she gave a shout out to the unlovely Ms. Spider Dunford …

The now-infamous Naomi Dunford found Remarkable Communication right around the middle of September and showed up for the first time in my comments. She proceeded to start a little blog on home business marketing that instantly trounced mine for traffic and subscribers, but …

The hippie hipsters at The New Yorker liked Joe Flatley’s Scamworld epic. Says they :: between sips of green tea and shit …

Another fun piece, with a marvellous and innovative Web layout, is Joseph Flatley’s “Scamworld,” from The Verge, about the dark, wacky world of Internet con men.

It really was a fun and innovative layout. Did you notice there were no links? So many subtle touches signaling that the piece was something important … something different. The Verge really is doing amazingly creative things with layout and design :: if …

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?
Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

“In Internet years, AOL has grown long in the tooth and seems incapable of playing nice with the toys it buys. There is a great deal of …

I was interested in telling the world that Stephen Pierce is a despicable scammer :: but not that interested … cause I kinda know lots of despicable scammers. But then he decided he needed to hire the classless act attorneys at Vorys Sater Seymour and Pease to sue everyone in sight … mostly people he’d already made to suffer … mostly people who can’t afford to hire an attorney. That awesome move was enough to bump Stephen Pierce up to number one on my list … so well done there champ.
How does …

Dear LameLawyers {to whom I’ve sent private notice of this open public letter} ::
That’s your client’s nipple right there :: he likes to show it to all his professional contacts on the facebooks … because he’s a tiny insecure freak stain with no education or skills.
But that’s not really the problem is it?
Nope.
The problem is that Stephen Pierce is a scammer … a totally fucking heinous scammer.
You wouldn’t have to be a world famous scam expert like me to know it. You could just be a lawyer who gave a …

Four score and seven years ago …
… starts a famous speech that I can totally plagiarise because its author and his nut-job wife both died before Mickey Mouse invented copyright tyranny. It ends like this …
… that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom … and that this government of the people :: by the people :: for the people :: shall not perish from the earth.
Fuck yeah!
Cause free.dom is a struggle :: it can progress or it can decay … but stasis is a non-option. Project America’s government of …

HOT DOGS!
Perry Belcher made millions of dollars online by lying to sick people :: selling them fake medicines … and making criminal coconspirators of his affiliates {before ripping them off}.
It’s called fraud :: it’s super easy … and you don’t even need a high school diploma {just ask Perry}.
Evil Jowls was convicted of felony computer crimes :: lost all his super lame possessions … and was sentenced to ten years of probation with special conditions barring his participation in misleading sales {among other things}.
Fuck that though :: what’s a fat …