Remember when The Gnome thought he could come at me?
… or when Jeff Walker’s poison head exploded?
… or when Rick Calvert was stricken with some kind of taco related insanity?
… or when Mike Koenigs got all butthurt {cruel pun intended} about that time I embarrassed him in front of his big toothed boyfriend Tony Robbins?
Yeah :: too easy … those were the best of times. But such direct confrontations are a rarity … prolly because people are very intimidated by all the beeping. It’s too bad :: cause when the story tells …

People got burned at a Tony Robbins event :: it’s true of every Tony Robbins event … but this time some meat space flesh was involved … so I guess that makes it an official media story.
21 people treated for burns after firewalk at Tony Robbins appearance :: reported the San Jose Mercury News after the locally held event …

At least 21 people were treated for burn injuries after taking part in the crowning event of the first day of a Tony Robbins function downtown, including at least three who went …

Congratulations!
… is how Dr. Seuss’ last book begins.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go is about how life’s all about getting out there and doing it :: hope for the best … knowing that’s almost for sure not what’s going to happen. Cause life is beautiful … but it’s a total fucking bitch. Ride it calm like a wave :: even when your head is scraping along the bottom … knowing eventually you’ll be back on the beach eating hotdogs.

Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching …

Gnomes :: a tiny race of colorful madmen … tend to be fiercely protective of their reputations. Scammer Internet Marketing Gnomes like lil’ piss-biscuit Mike Filsaime {not to be confused with all the totally legit Internet marketing gnomes} … are especially protective of their reputations because their whole fake life is balanced on the fulcrum of a thin illusion.
So like if there was a registered sex offender organizing a family Internet Marketing cruise for one of his Gnomish companies :: he would fire that person the minute he found out about the pedophilia …

So I’m totally famous now … I can haz u monies?
Last year Engadget left AOL to become The Verge :: because AOL is like one of the stupidest things that’s ever happened … and if you breathe in their fumes for too long you’ll turn into a raging idiot addicted to teeth whiteners. Says David Carr in his NYTimes article about the move …

“In Internet years, AOL has grown long in the tooth and seems incapable of playing nice with the toys it buys. There is a great deal of …

Stephen Pierce is a scammer :: that much is fucking obvious … and easy to prove … which is why Vorys Sater Seymour and Pease are suing everyone but me. Unfortunately :: and kinda usually around here … the scamming is the least of it.
This text message is from Stephen Pierce to his no-longer wife Alicia Lyttle. Here’s what Stephen Pierce thinks about people who aren’t Stephen Pierce …

“I apologize for me foul language. I’m just reaching a boiling point that can get really ugly fe everyone. I’m already yelling …

Bob Proctor was James Arthur Ray’s mentor :: according to Bob Proctor and James Arthur Ray … even unskilled charlatans need mentoring. Bob and James mentored each other all up and down until they both learned The Secret and told Rhonda Byrne so she could attract $35 million unto her own self.
MLM doublespeak was rebranded as mainstream unicorn spirituality and James Arthur Ray went on Oprah :: Bob Proctor went on Ellen … the fake mentee becomes the fake mentor.
The Secret to success according to the movie The Secret is …

Four score and seven years ago …
… starts a famous speech that I can totally plagiarise because its author and his nut-job wife both died before Mickey Mouse invented copyright tyranny. It ends like this …
… that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom … and that this government of the people :: by the people :: for the people :: shall not perish from the earth.
Fuck yeah!
Cause free.dom is a struggle :: it can progress or it can decay … but stasis is a non-option. Project America’s government of …

“Oprah totally loves me now :: she’s getting all my craps for free :: but you should pay enough to upset the normal functioning of your life” :: says Tony Robbins to his email list {basically} …

“You think you have a busy schedule – how about Oprah’s? She showed up at Unleash the Power Within expecting to spend two hours, and 11 hours later she was preparing to walk over hot coals. How did that happen? Watch Tony share details of what it was like to have the legendary Oprah in …

Remember that time when I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch?
Boom!
Pow!
Smack!
Slam!
Whamo!
Okay :: yeah … it’s happened a lot. I like to do things that are easy :: it makes me feel good about myself … like pictures in ridiculous hats.

{start over}
Remember all those times I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch {BLB}?
You fucking better … we were just talking about it. Why can’t you remember important shit that we were just talking about? You were never like that before.  Are you taking those danged dirty drugs? …