Do you want to see Hulk Hogan 5.0 having sex with some lady who should oughta be bein’ faithful to Bubba the Love Sponge?
Do you want Kathy Bates to hobble you with a dragon bone seriously infected with the hantavirus?
Shirly those two questions are equivalents?
Was that last question a question?
Anywayz :: turd spewing pageview whoring turd site Gawker :: whose mission is all about smearing turds all around everywhere turd style … is pretty sure you need this sex tape in your life.

“We watch this footage because it’s something we’re not …

Have you heard about not-rocker Dave Navarro’s funny news?
No?
Good :: then I get to be the one to tell you … he abandoned his kids {in the worst way} and his wife {in the worst way} for a fake business and a fat girl.
Hooray!
LOL
Hooray!
LOL
Says Dave in a pathetic fucking sales email last week …

So I have a bit of funny news for you.
As of Monday morning, my heart and mind belong to IttyBiz.
Which is a bit of a laugh for me because I’d swore I’d never take a “day job” again.
But …

Size matters :: in certain things … like illegal cockfighting. You want to have the biggest cock if you plan to go home with some of them sweet sweet cockfighting monies. Some people might tell you that smaller cocks often win out … but those people haven’t been certified in Cockmaster Shamanism by the employees of a Carnival cruise ship like I have {it’s kinda a big deal}.
But size doesn’t matter in matters of the heart. Like having a black :: cold :: vaguely turd like :: heart … …

Perry Belcher could store three fat ladies :: or one Newt Gingrich :: in his neck sacks. But that was a skill of little virtue in his battle with the fake robot :: which began with this March 2009 post. By September 2009 :: Evil Jowls had begun his capitulation in the comments of a post about this fraudulent Facebook ad …

That $56 million number is totally made up :: and it anyway includes mostly money made from Belcher’s decade long health fraud scam … detailed here in detail. The ad is a flagrant violation of …

Did you know that black people like using the Internets just as much as white people?
Yep :: it’s totally true … they love it!
But the blacks have high standards :: having grown accustomed to special but equal facilities created with their specific concerns in mind … or something. They can’t be settling for no white man’s Internet … I guess.
Maybe those are some of the considerations that led Stephen Pierce to found Black America Online {or maybe it was the love of other people’s money}.
From a 1997 article by Peter …

I want to tell you about The Greatest Vitamin in the World!!
Well :: I mean :: I don’t wanna tell you about the vitamins of course :: because you can just go buy some of those down at the store for like five bucks or whatever. No :: I’m talking about the opportunity to sell people on the opportunity to sell people on the idea that The Greatest Vitamin in the World is the key to future freedom from the reality of life’s realities.
It will only cost you whatever you happen to …

“I’m going to tell you a story and it’s very, very important. Please read it, all the way through. Women’s lives are at stake.”

One of my posts could start like that :: if I were a shit-trite writer … cause women’s lives are at stake. The after effects of protracted manipulation are regularly deadly … as Kirby :: Liz :: and Colleen might tell you if they weren’t already dead. And it’s not hard to imagine how often something like this …

… leads to a nice old{ish} lady deciding to …

Jeff Johnson :: best known for having a fanged vagina face :: has been banned from YouTube for reasons that Jeff Johnson can’t possibly imagine with what little brains Jeff Johnson has inside of the oddly shaped head that helps attach Jeff Johnson’s lying mouth to Jeff Johnson’s turd blackened heart.
That was a really long sentence :: so Jeff Johnson is probably done reading this post even though it’s about Jeff Johnson. Readin’ and writin’ and understandin’ is hard for Jeff :: so his multi-word YouTube banned me diatribe must …

Sean McAlister has a turd of a company that he and his drunk stupid mommy decided to call JVProductLauch. Sean and his hommies over JVPL will help you launch a massively overpriced fruaduct via dubious affiliate relationships. It doesn’t sound very exciting until you hear the background music …

Sean McAlister was JVPL’ing James Malinchak’s Millionaire Secrets Revealed frauduct :: and so had a direct financial interest in my shockingly popular post of almost the same name. Sean decided to try and save the launch by misrepresenting himself and his interests on this blog … not …

James Malinchak is a fucking scammer!
… or something.
Of course :: I’m a just fake robot so what do I know but parody?
My recent James Malinchak {aka fucking scammer} post landed on ole’ cuzin Malinchak like a plague of biblical frogs :: and he no likey. I mean :: hello :: he’s trying to launch a scam frauduct off the back-end of a BS television appearance over here … and this ain’t helping.
He better do something about it … like … um … like … um …
Says James Malinchak to the …