Suck and Swallow

Swallow-Resigns

irt bag :: piece of shit :: fuck stupid cog in the sick machine … John Swallow … may be set to resign as Utah’s Attorney General.

The Deseret News

Embattled Utah Attorney General John Swallow has cut a deal with the lieutenant governor’s office to resign in order to avoid facing criminal charges, a source told the Deseret News…

In lieu of the criminal charges,

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Herbalife’s Mexican Laundromat

Herbalife-and-the-DEA

It’s not fucking good to speculate :: best leave that to the empty heads at the cable news networks … cause it’s kinda their jam. But sometimes a fake robot has gotta speculate :: because certain sorts of stories are almost impossible to tell without resorting to this tried and true journalistic formula …

“So-and-so says that what’s-his-name is guilty of blah blah blah.”

…  and those sorts of stories aren’t told here :: because so-and-so doesn’t want to end up on what’s-his-name’s shit list …

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Emmediate Political Solutions

John-Swallow-has-friends

This Salt Lake City Weekly cover story is fucking amazing :: in a “sticking it to the badguys” kind of way … and fucking depressing … in a “this is how it’s going in our society” kind of way. Bad Company: An ex-con who says he raised funds for John Swallow is nowhere to be found on the AG’s campaign records. Eric Peterson :: “crushing it”… to use a totally pointless phrase popularized by someone totally pointless who I fucking hate.

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Herbalife vs Black People

Herbalife-African-American-Initiative

You know who loves them some Herbalife? iStockphoto black people … they’re fucking nuts for it.

But iStockphotos don’t have wallets :: or credit cards :: or retirement accounts :: or exploitable fears about future uncertainty … so Herbalife was hoping to increase their pyramid scheme’s reach with real live black people instead.

They started the African-American Initiative :: which is just what it sounds like … equal opportunity business opportunity scamming.

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Am I Not A Lawyer?

Every motherfucking horror show on display-archive here :: can be traced back to Mark Shurtleff via a not-fun not-drinking game I like to call … Six Degrees of Rotten Bacon. The Internet has scaled a local corruption type problem :: into an epic global mindraping mega-scam type problem … which The New York Times doesn’t seem to care about.

Eternity in Mormon hell would probably be just enough time for Mark Shurtleff to repay the debt he owes to the universe for his direct personal contribution to a great black cloud of human suffering :: but given his rank in The Church … I guess he’s actually more in line to become the god of his own planet …

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