Salty Droid 2012

Fake robot :: year four … totally done already!

My goal for 2012 was to rid the world of evil … so that’s a fail.

But I did achieve some lesser objectives …

— I wrote a song about a manatee and some twinkies

— I made a hit movie for a maker of hit movies

— I hated a book

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Confesstimonial :: Lawyers in Scamworld

The first confesstimonial was a big hit :: and in a more interesting than usual comment stream … it spawned the second confesstimonial. Once your blog posts start producing progeny :: you can retire to the beach to live the tanned twinkie lifestyle … fact.

The video is The Vergecast from the morning the Scamworld article printed. It’s pretty funny to listen to real Internet experts laughing about fake Internet experts :: and then Danny Sullivan calls in to ruin my laughter …

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Meditations on a Fat Man

Harlan Kilstein isn’t a doctor :: and he isn’t an Internet marketing guru either … thanks to lil’ old me.

Good job me!

But he’s still a pathetic bottom feeding scammer … and every month or so someone tells me a story about Harlan trying to ruin their life with his ridiculousness.

Maybe a fake robot can keep a motherfucking d-bag from getting huge …

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Trademarked Confusion :: Joel Comm Droid Con

Two lawyers walk into a bar ::

Lawyer 1:  Let’s call The Salty Droid and —

Lawyer 2: Thanks for the beer, see you around {sound of saloon door swinging on its hinges}.

Lawyers :: you see :: have an aversion to fake robots … and risks … and technologies more complicated than blackberries {the fruit} …

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Secret Millionaire Secrets Revealed

James Malinchak has a millionaire’s smile :: literally :: if smile values were calculated based on awkward surface area … which they are not.  So I guess he doesn’t have a millionaire’s smile so much as a fucked-up-reject {f-u-r} smile :: one that looks about as genuine as Harlan Kilstein’s tan.

But I’m sure that he’s a real millionaire on the inside :: it’s just the f-u-r smile that’s fake.

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