Question :: Who is Jeff “Herschy” Schwerdt?
Answer :: Nobody.
That is technically the correct answer :: but it’s a bit short :: expandification required …
Jeff “SkidMark” Schwerdt is the Father {aka non-vaginal birth giver} of the Cash Flow Funnel. This is an “Extremely Limited Offer” :: in that almost nothing is on offer.  Get in NOW before it flows the rest of the way down Jeff’s leg and on to the ground :: wisdom lost forever!
But Jeff is not just about funnels and regulating his flow.  He also describes himself as …

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein hasn’t been having much success in business lately.  Sure he still has his pretend “seven figure Internet business” :: and that’s doing great … it will be manifesting itself into an eight figure mega-empire in no time.  But back here on Earth :: where Newtonian Physics still reign supreme :: in a humble little place called MOTHER FUCKING REALITY! :: he’s be sucking even by his own hardcore sucktacular standards.
Tactic 7 :: A $3000 sink to the bottom turd == Epic Fail {ask Google if you’d like …

There is a WAR going on between The Salty Droid and Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein {maybe you’ve heard?}. One of the least important battles in that war is the struggle to dominate the Google rankings for the useless search term “harlan kilstein.” The ManTurd and The Droid have different approaches to the problem {natch!} :: Different Strokes for different folks/fucks.
:: The Kilstein SEO Method ::
1.  File false DMCA claims for ANY blog post :: video :: or picture that ranks on the first page.
2.  Set up a bunch of crap blogs …

Not-Doctor Harlan D. Kilstein has very little to be proud of in his miserable excuse for a life.  His “career” in education was suspiciously short and full of bridge burning failures.  His unfortunate body shape {known as The Mutated Potato} makes waddling his tremendously lumpy ass a necessity. His digestive system was described by one imaginary {and quite unprofessional} physician as :: “An absolute cluster-fuck from cake-hole to anus.” And now his “career” in copywriting / Internet Marketing Guruing is coming to an abrupt and disastrous close {also after a …

Thank the gods that someone has finally sacked-up and started taking a stand for the little guy on the Internet :: Sticking it to the heartless scammers who abuse the webz to part nice people from their money.  Of course we all know the mighty warrior of which I speak ::
:: Harlan D. Kilstein ::
Angel :: Humanitarian :: Mother Fucking Hero
Recently Not-Doctor Kilstein has started protecting Gotham by publishing ‘anti-scam’ videos {please … hold your applause until I finish}. He’s been using them to try and drive traffic to his …

A short time ago :: in a galaxy called ScammerNet Marketering 5.0 beta :: there existed a dumpy little troll that we call Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstien {because he isn’t a doctor}.  The dumpy troll needed to sell a lot of scam product to pay for his fake-pimp lifestyle {drivin’ roun’ Boca in a super dope sleeveless T-shirt :: shoutin’ at da hoes :: windows quarter way down pumpin’ Counting Crows latest CD at 4.5 – 5 on the factory speakers :: joinin’ all the freshest ‘masterminds’ :: shit like that}.
But …

Step into your roll as an expert :: Even if you didn’t make any money last year :: Because it’s all about perception.  ~Maria Andros, The Video Marketing Queen {whose videos go unwatched}.
Calling yourself an expert when you are not one :: making claims about income, status, and success to support your claimed expert status :: and then charging people $3,000 per head for access to your non-expertise :: is fraud.  But that doesn’t bother Maria Andros :: Because she’s way too stupid to understand how big of a risk …

As you probably didn’t notice :: The Droid’s old home on wordpress.com was recently taken down completely by a series of Not-Doctor Kilstein attacks. Ye Ol’ Home {as I’m going to call it never again} :: ranks 1st or 2nd for a Google search of Harlan Kilstein :: Harlan is desperate to do something about it. And by “something” :: of course I mean ineffectively dig himself deeper into a hole that he’ll NEVER get out of.
The Post is humiliating :: disastrous for his relationships with non-animals :: and it …

Google = so my BFF! They are taking over the world :: so one should be wary :: but they are doing it with quality and style while everyone else is busy sucking ass.  So I accept their tyranny :: until they invade Poland :: then I’ll cry out for strictures!
New fucking-genius Google project :: Sidewiki :: Anyone with a Google Toolbar can leave comments in a sidebar on any website.  Comments are PUBLIC and can’t be controlled or edited by the webmaster because they actually reside on Google’s servers.  …

What do Roger Federer :: Tiger Woods :: and Not-Doctor Kilstein all have in common?
Nothing!
But somehow {creepy stalking?} Doofstein has managed to find out their winning secrets.  And guess what bitches? He’s willing to sell them to you! That’s right :: along with being a finger healer {possibly not a real thing} :: hack marketer :: certified pervert :: terrible copywriter :: and all around dipshit :: Not-Doctor Kilstein is also an expert in pro level tennis and golf.
Tennis ::

“My name is Dr. Harlan Kilstein, and I’m a top level …