Harlan Kilstein

Not-Doctor Kilstein is a fraudster and serial harasser. His Internet “career” is sucking its last breaths :: The world waits to sigh relief.

Merry Christmas Goodbye

What if … I’d never fucking existed?

It’s easy enough to imagine :: cause fake robots aren’t even real … and I’ve recently been an unannounced absentee.

Another year is ending :: it’s dark and cold :: a great time to ask myself the tough questions … maybe contemplate suicide.

Is it a wonderful life?

{not really}
Merry Christmas
I imagine that my guardian angel […]

Meditations on a Fat Man

Harlan Kilstein isn’t a doctor :: and he isn’t an Internet marketing guru either … thanks to lil’ old me.

Good job me!

But he’s still a pathetic bottom feeding scammer … and every month or so someone tells me a story about Harlan trying to ruin their life with his ridiculousness.

Maybe a fake robot can keep a motherfucking d-bag from […]

Trademarked Confusion :: Joel Comm Droid Con

Two lawyers walk into a bar ::
Lawyer 1:  Let’s call The Salty Droid and —
Lawyer 2: Thanks for the beer, see you around {sound of saloon door swinging on its hinges}.
Lawyers :: you see :: have an aversion to fake robots … and risks … and technologies more complicated than blackberries {the fruit} … and things that can’t be […]

Beached Whale Millions

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein’s latest too dumb to be true frauduct :: BeachMillions!  It works like this …
1.  You never :: ever :: never :: ever go to the beach … just like Harlan.
2.  You don’t make any money … just like Harlan.
It’s been over a year since my first post about Not-Doctor Shitstein.  During that time he has become […]

Kilstein’s Conning Questionnaire

When we last checked in with Doctor Harlan Kilstein :: he was not a doctor … but he was a perverted :: d-bag :: know nothing :: sick-o :: fucking lunatic who was stealing money from the weak and vulnerable.  Let’s check in on him again shall we?

{uses chopsticks to slightly part Kilstein’s Pee ‘n Sweat ‘n Jizz™ stained […]

By |March 29th, 2010|Harlan Kilstein, Scams|80 Comments|

Jeff Schwerdt :: The Jet Set

Question :: Who is Jeff “Herschy” Schwerdt?

Answer :: Nobody.

That is technically the correct answer :: but it’s a bit short :: expandification required …

Jeff “SkidMark” Schwerdt is the Father {aka non-vaginal birth giver} of the Cash Flow Funnel. This is an “Extremely Limited Offer” :: in that almost nothing is on offer.  Get in NOW before it flows the […]

Kilstein’s The Secret Secret

Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein hasn’t been having much success in business lately.  Sure he still has his pretend “seven figure Internet business” :: and that’s doing great … it will be manifesting itself into an eight figure mega-empire in no time.  But back here on Earth :: where Newtonian Physics still reign supreme :: in a humble little place called […]

SEO 4 U and Me

There is a WAR going on between The Salty Droid and Not-Doctor Harlan Kilstein {maybe you’ve heard?}. One of the least important battles in that war is the struggle to dominate the Google rankings for the useless search term “harlan kilstein.” The ManTurd and The Droid have different approaches to the problem {natch!} :: Different Strokes for different folks/fucks.
:: […]

By |November 12th, 2009|Harlan Kilstein, SEO|76 Comments|

Annihilating Kilstein

Not-Doctor Harlan D. Kilstein has very little to be proud of in his miserable excuse for a life.  His “career” in education was suspiciously short and full of bridge burning failures.  His unfortunate body shape {known as The Mutated Potato} makes waddling his tremendously lumpy ass a necessity. His digestive system was described by one imaginary {and quite unprofessional} […]

Super Schlub

Thank the gods that someone has finally sacked-up and started taking a stand for the little guy on the Internet :: Sticking it to the heartless scammers who abuse the webz to part nice people from their money.  Of course we all know the mighty warrior of which I speak ::
:: Harlan D. Kilstein ::
Angel :: Humanitarian :: Mother […]

By |October 26th, 2009|Harlan Kilstein, Scams|44 Comments|