Maria Andros: She is God {maybe}

Analytical Andros

Step into your roll as an expert :: Even if you didn’t make any money last year :: Because it’s all about perception.  ~Maria Andros, The Video Marketing Queen {whose videos go unwatched}.

Calling yourself an expert when you are not one :: making claims about income, status, and success to support your claimed expert status :: and then charging people $3,000 per head for access to your non-expertise :: is fraud.  But that doesn’t bother Maria Andros :: Because she’s way too stupid to understand how big of a risk she is taking :: And she’s learned to speak the manipulative language of the exploiter.  Once you learn that trick :: it’s hard to go back behind the make-up counter.

This video was put together by our good friend _cartman_ :: and posted to the comments. But it totally shames a D-bag :: and I didn’t have to do any of the work myself :: So it needs its own post.  Great job _cartman_!!

Maria’s first appearance on this blog was directly connected with her association, promotion, and “partnership” with Not-Doctor Kilstein.  She was warned :: and she did not heed that warning.  Since the first post went up :: I have learned MANY of Maria’s  personal demons. Stories of her sins :: and personally embarrassing details :: started pouring into The Droid’s mailbox.  My attention focused the attention of others … and Maria finds herself :: and her lies :: in a very uncomfortable place.

If I have taken the time to issue you a warning about Harlan Kilstein :: You best fucking comply.

>> bleep bleep

UPDATE ::  _cartman_ videos Part 2 :: learn how to stay away from the ‘garbage people’ in your life without paying Maria ‘thousands’ an hour for coaching.

253 thoughts on “Maria Andros: She is God {maybe}”

  1. oh and the carpet cleaning event (that never happened) was apparently a three day intensive
    which was supposed to take place the 18-20th of September (so it was the hoe weekend).
    No transformation to greatness for anybody…okay lets bow our heads and prey
    Californialy father….let’s not let our eyes be plucked out by vultures
    cuz that would really hurt….
    and forgive us our transmigrations
    as we forgive those who transmigrate into us.
    for thine is dis…dat….and the udder thing….
    forever and ever

  2. Okay, someone just informed me… not supposed to mention who tole me.
    Maria will be announcing a “6 months” master mind to 20 people, with two real gatherings, and live interactive calls, not just a few a teleseminars. The two gatherings will be as follows….One in Beverly Hills in January, and one in Sandy Lego in May.
    What are you going to pay for?
    Well, a website redesign..?.basically.?..the ability to bounce idears and start JV’s off other boneheads who paid (the blind leading the blind leading the blind….so to speak)…and the rest sounds like BS rhetoric (not that the website redesign is anything spatial…probably just a “splashy” page…).
    You will be learning from Maria and Christel Hughes (spiritual something, reiki master, NLP or some shit to the stars), or as Maria considers it “the whole team” (two people make a team?)…whateva….oh and she will be mentioning her last two videos (which she is calling the series…psychic me!)
    If you think it is going to be easy to get in….fogetaboudit…it’s so limited (20 peepils) that you have to fill out an application process, and tell them your idea and a bunch of other shit to see if you will get accepted…I hear it will be tougher then getting above top secret classifications from area 51.5 (hahaha…who am I kidding…if you say the following….I’m a retard with a lot of money and I want to learn….you’re in)
    I was not told about the price but based on the limited amount of people and the website thing…I’m guessing 5K….I believe it is being called the Marketing Freedom Mastery plutonium mastermind or some shit… who remembers….it was painful to hear…the official announcement should be coming soon….
    I have to end this post now…so she doesn’t beat me to the punch and I have verifiable proof that I knew about her program before she did  :)

  3. Oh sorry…almost forgot…I was informed that this video is supposedly from “her” condo at the beach…so you will get to see her beach front condo (or if she is true a wall or two), and a shot of the ocean….supposedly from the balcony… now don’t all rush to buy this program….I get first right of refusal ;)

      1. Ahh, what a bummer, how do I know if I’m garbage or qualified to be in her program?  Well, something tells me I’m garbage since I’m here on this site.

        And she even re-tweeted me the other night.  Plus, she likes Norah Jones too!  Oh, and here’s her BFF Cristol doing Norah from her Twitter:

         “love this cover of Norah Jones she looks like my BFF with same name!

        Somehow, I just can’t imagine being in mastermind with the illiterate Maria.  Will it be programmed by her handlers and copywriters?  Mary Ellen Tribby perhaps?  Rich Schefren?

        1. Looks like the AI servers are slow…they know a launch is coming…must mean she is announcing it tonight…I didn’t know you can throttle back the bandwidth…then again….two people watching one streaming video, and you are SoL

          ..if you pay her….you contribute to her….you become ok in her book….something to strive for…

          yeah…I saw the tweet and watched the video…the christel in the video has talent…unlike her BFF who’s only talent is following her around like a puppy dog….

          Hmm….what’s with the launch delay….did this go out only to her students first (those she knows that may pay her)….weird…launching in 2 days and still no word…how bizarray..

  4. Oh my gawd….Maria just pointed us to the very depth of her bimbeclity (on the eve of her new launch)…just announced on twitter, and you can read about it on the link I leave you below…I leave you with tiny tidbits of stupidity…I won’t be going through all of it…cuz half the fun is watching the creative ways you guys point out her deceitful ways.

    “When you join me, together we are going to take your business to the next level and as a BONUS you will have a front of the lineaccess pass to my announcement tomorrow.” – Maria Andros

    Wow….when you boneus…you really boneus…a front of line pass to an announcement…what a boneus…..
    “Friend this is the real truth most people online and even some of the other Gurus are afraid to tell you… most people online will fail…” – Maria Andros

    Fail?….really? How is that possible? I mean you provide the keys to the kingdom….did someone change the lock? What’s that….is it an eviction note from the sheriff…old keys Bimbecile…

    “-Tania Gabrielle going from making $3-6 per month to as much as $24 K+ in a day now! YES Tania has just had her fourth consecutive FIVE FIGURE month!”
    Wow…now that’s English….Tania went from 24K in 3 weeks….butt now…timeline changed to a boggling $24K in one day…hey why not…Incredible news on the fourth consecutive 5 figure months….considering two months ago she made the 24K…she’s super incredible…

    “Everything behind what I do is mindset and breaking through fear and if you want to take your business to the six or seven figure level, like I’ve been able to do with video & social media…” – Maria Andros
    Is this a sentence? What does it mean???? Finish it !!!!!

    “I’m so happy Dr. Kilstein agreed to offer this to me ( with only a small shipping fee and you will get the program itself for no charge!”

    Oh look a free bonus which you pay for…it’s the new millenium version of “free”

    “Warning the last time I closed the doors it was almost 4 months before i re-opened the program and to be honest I do not know IF & WHEN the next one will be.” – Maria A. Andros

    Yeah…no sense opening the amusement park when no-one wants to come to ride the rides.

    “I’m honestly moved by my all my new AMAZING students who are LOVING the content and members area allready!” – Maria A. Andros

    I won’t mention the allready…butt are they back to being students..and not clients…and not principles? sing…you put your left brain in …you put your left brain out…and you shake it all about…you do the hokey Androkey…and that’s what it’s all a ….. bout…..

    “It’s the Blueprint of how I went from being a “makeup girl” earning $55 000 (canadian a year) to now making a HIGH six figure yearly income ( yes I still pinch myself daily)”

    You forgot your past…you made $55K from your ambassadorship at the top fashion companies….try keeping your past straight…btw…we owned a fragrance and cosmetic company…we did not pay “makeup girls” $55K a year…a lot of mid level execs in the financial industry don’t make $55K a year…..and they can spell!…

    “I hate to say it but if you snooze you lose:” – Maria A. Andros

    everyone sing….When you find yourself in times of trouble… Mother Maria comes to me…singing words of wisdom…let them be….

    “Blueprint” made over $24 000 + in less than 3 weeks and has had her fourth Consecutive “FIVE FIGURE Month”.” – Maria A. Andros

    Yeah we read about Tania Gabrielle…..what you don’t realize now….is that $24K will be made in one day…not three weeks…you’re amazing at recreating her past…

    “When I first got started everyone thought I was crazy thinking marketing with simple videos & social media could make me money…then I proved them ALL wrong when in less than 10 months I made over $100 000 with no adwords or expensive advertising, being a complete beginner with no technical background online.” – Maria A. Andros

    Umm….that $100K was supposed to be your “ebay” income (I recognize the same 10 months period)…not your simple videos or social media….another lie bites the dust……”ebay” died like your ambassadorship…so sad…
    “If you would like to come in at our yearly coaching program I am offering a $200 scholarship.”
    But you charge $3000 an hour that gets me 4 minutes of coaching…oh my…do I get to touch your robe and see results….

    “This stuff works so if you have implemented my tips in my newsletter and gotten results I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! I would love to have your personal testimonial that I may feature on my website and make you famous with !” – Maria A. Andros

    Ohhh you want to hear from people who got results….ummm losing money is a result…just not a positive result….isn’t it strange your only “students” with super fab results are all close friends of yours…everyone else…not so much…how bizarre…..

    I can’t go any further into this…I have a video to make for a client…I’m wasting to much time on this waste of an excuse of a human…but I will be back tomorrow after her launch…I just hope I don’t lose my launch… :)

    I left the link to all her emails…some are missing…but hey…what can you do…

  5. Man, what a vile liar this woman is. Not even a good liar, you can see her making shit up as she goes, not even prepared in advance with her lies.  How sad, how can these people live with themselves?

  6. Ok, seriously…  Do people really fall for this crap?  $10,000 for a private two-day retreat with Maria and Christel?  I’m not sure, but I think that’s usually a different kind of business.
    I love this one:  “You will get direct personal help from me live, in person and on the phone just like my private one on one client who pay me thousands of dollars per session do.”
    You can’t put a sentence together with subject-verb agreement, but I’ma gonna’ give you $15,976 (or $14,997, if I want to take advantage of the “business tax exemption” nice of you to give me that option) ?  And no, I do not “Perfer” to use Paypal or the “Belcher Button”
    Unmitigated bullshit.

    1. I fell for it Dave…sigh….it’s her power and ability to create hypnotiq language…

      interesting…she added that “business tax deduction” line on one of her revisions……

      “P.S.S.. By the way, one of the questions we have been asked is “My accountant says I should ask if I can pay all 8 payments up front to get the business tax deduction THIS year”.” – Maria A. Andros

      Maria, tell your imaginical sign up (with the imaginical accountant), that he should fire his imaginary accountant’s sorry ass…

      What I presume you mean, is that your imaginical person wants to use the “tuition” as a “business expense”…good luck with that..You’re not an accredited teaching institution, as such your “training” wouldn’t qualify as a “tax deduction”. You may call it “tuition”, but you can’t send your “students” a 1098T (well you could, but then you’d both be going to jail). 

      I assume that your imaginical person wants to use the “tuition” as a business expense…again… good luck with that….for it to be a valid business expense and “deductible”, the expense must be both ordinary and necessary. An ordinary expense is one that is common and accepted in the trade or business. A necessary expense is one that is helpful and appropriate for the trade or business.

      Food may be an ordinary and necessary expense for a caterer…but not for a print shop….And what the fuck do they tell the IRS..yes I went for training to a Mindset and Celebrity life Coach…and I learned how to have a celery like following with Raving fans following every move I make…I don’t think they would find it as funny as I do…

      “This is pretty much the only way to get ongoing personal mentorship and coaching from me. I don’t offer this level of ongoing access except to my one on one client, which for the past 5 months has been closed and there’s been a waiting list” – Maria A. Andros

      You put people on an imaginical waiting list, and yet you are going to leave them waiting….while attending to imaginical people who are signing up…that’s bad practise ….you should always take care of your imaginary clients/students/principles in the order you create them…it’s only right…..

      And I beg you ….please let the people out of your phone……

  7. I get the impression that some of our D-bag friends are losing their fucking minds! $2000 per month!  That can’t be happening.

    Maria … seriously.  I like messing with you and everything … but you’re gonna end up in jail girlfriend.  Try :: as hard as you can :: to hit the brakes on your train-wreck.


    1. OMG…Cartman! That sent shivers down my spine all the way to my wallet.

      It’s the female internet marketer equivalent of that little “Chuckie” horror doll! I’m already imagining nightmares where I wake up and there it is…standing over me holding a credit card to my throat.

  8. do…do………dateline…microsoft (remember, I am the not of the universal…of MicroSoft)….Andros caught in yet another deception…..

    Maria Andros Caught in yet another of her lies….this time she was outed by you tube (shout out…thank you you tube)

    You tube acknowledged a request (from those who asked) to incorporate video views for a channel, and now you tube channels display total video views. So unlike those who claimed millions of views, and claimed to hide away videos or take them down (see Andros I know what you told “others” last summer)..there was no way to objectively discern if someone was lying or not.

    Well now there is…

    For those who followed Andros, she has been claiming nearly 500K views since Dec ’08 (as seen on the link below)

    “Almost 500,000 people have watched my videos and counting and I have helped many of my students some who were beginners to make their first $1000 + sales online.”- Maria Andros dec ’08

    Well, considering all of Maria’s gaming of video views by falsifying video description, keyword manipulation, inserting “compelling” images and auto loading videos (all to garner false views), Maria Andros still managed to come up slightly more then 250K (screen cap shots of her EFT “headache” video added most of the 67K gamed views (how do I know…analytical comparison of similar videos in the category…total auto load) she added over the course of the year which is short of the total views she claimed.

    As of todays date

    Total Video Views: 315,294

    A full year passed since the 500K claim and more then 67K views (mostly gamed) were added in this year, and she is still short ~185K views….how fucking pathetic…

    PS- while I realize that I spelled you tube as two separate words…I only have three words to say to that; “I am a leader with a celery like following” :)

  9. The problem with these fuck tard marketers is that they only tweet or start to talk when they are about to sell there bullshit. They do not want to have one on one with people unless it is just to spew out bullshit. Maria Andros is one of the biggest Fuck tards of them all. She could use that nose of hers as a DILDO! Maria you should make a plaster out of your nose and market it as a DILDO! I bet with all the shit you are full of you could sell those like crazy!

    1. Yeah…unfortunately most of these “marketers” use metrics which can’t be confirmed to sell their lies, and people do not have the ability to analyze it fully (since most data is not public). Only by having all data available can one disseminate the truth (or in the case of Maria A. Andros, just compare one of her statements against another of her statements to note the ever changing differences).

      Just as one example, Andros used to use her Alexa ratings to prove her “expertease” (making people believe that being in the top 100,000 was a big deal), there are many problems with this. Depending on your target audience, alexa (as well as compete) rankings are usually skewed way out of prospective, as “marketers” and wannabe “marketers” (brandish the Alexa and compete toolbar…tech sites are the worst for skewed alexa/compete rankings since tech geeks luv toolbars :)) artificially increasing rankings/visitors. Andros never shows concrete proof, like her headache clickbank results to even show things like her CTR (up to a few weeks ago she had a “link” in her EFT video), a “puppet” asked her about the success she claimed regarding that link (remember the $12,987 in two months BS claim…yeah that’s the alleged video)…she did not respond, and the next day (or later that day..can’t be sure), the link was gone from the description) in any of her “proof” videos, and only ever showed her Alexa ranking (now…not so much…why…some people left her less then stellar feedback in Alexa).

      Does she show her “prospects” (aka victims) her google analytics data which show the number of unique visits, repeat visits, average times on her “popular site”…NO…why? It can’t be gamed (well it can, but not significantly due to the limited number of unique IP proxies which can be used to visit one’s own site (as a unique visitor). I did it in ’07 as a test..I was able to get my alexa ranking to 400K using 20 visits (from different IP addresses using proxies) from just me as traffic (the site was not indexed).

      Anyways, another update….those of you may remember my last Maria Andros video test which I announced here on SaltyDroid which was mysteriously re-tweeted an inordinate amount of times (Andros re-tweeted it herself using different ity bity links), and was able to garner above her 50 odd twitter views reaching 200 odd views.

      This time I did not announce what I was going to be doing …and ironically this time the views were abysmal (abysmal as usual)….the video was retweeted by tweet bots 6 times (andros tweeted it three times….and in 10 days it only received 59 “twitter” views (out of more then 100,000K followers between those that re-tweeted..she did not have time to game the views this time), and a total of 33 facebook views from her “facebook” followers (out of 4K plus…a celery like following if ever I saw one…but up from the usual 21 odd people that it usually tops out at).

      Dec 19, 2009 First referral from – 59
      Dec 19, 2009 First embedded on – 22
      Dec 19, 2009 First referral from – 11

      I included only the link, only as proof of what I said (to view the metrics)….watch only at your own risk…Oh and how do I know that some of those are gamed…look under the “first referral from”, and you will not something interesting (I won’t mention it outright, because of Andros reading here, but most will understand..speak bimbecile)

      While I don’t believe this even has one iota of truth, her Business bimbecility speaks volumes in the following line

      “setting up the new video studio”

      Only a true Bimbecile would “claim” to be opening up a “video studio” in Los Angeles (everyone and their mother rents video studios and offers video services in LA) all while maintaining the guise of being a “marketing” goober….

      Anyways gotta run going to the arctic to sell snow machines, and then heading to Dubai to try and sell them sand….

      Fuck me….my head hurts….

    1. Now that’s funny! Maria has lots of admirers in India – and they just love to click on her video and increase her stats! Hilarious!

    2. Probably because it got embeded on what seems {via Alexa} to be a top Indian wank site ::

      Some pretty great comments …

      Shanga said:

      “yeh,,,,,,,,,,,, very $exyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy your eye,,,,,,,,, I lik more then eye you”

      Zahid Khan said:

      “your face is innocent and fresh……$exy too could u accept my offer to be my friend”

      I don’t think many of those views converted into the sale of a $3000 “coaching” package.

      1. Very $exy your eye FTW! I’m not sure what it means :: but I’m going to start saying it for sure.

        Very $exy your EYE!

        … that felt great.

      2. And Prasanna said:

        “hi dear you are so $exy i want to date with you”

        Poor guy. Give her 10 years or 100,000 miles (whichever comes first) and see if he still feels the same way. (Assuming one could get her to just quit talking about ‘social media.’)

  10. Well, you saw her on Fox (??), you cringed when she charged $15K for an 8 week course with 2 “field” days…. and now Maria Andros is available for private ‘one on one’ viewing…..

    That’s right, spend the day with Maria (never trade hours for money) Andros…weeks later will trade hours for money….

    Tell em what they get Bob……

    Well, a total VM&SM immersion day (no not that kind of SM). A one day intensive (private and customized)….where you will find out how to:

    Tap into the power of video, social media & it’s global reach.
    Re-vamp your website
    Understand how to build “relationships”
    Learn to create hypnotiq video
    How to customize your brand
    Create a celery like following

    …..and much more

    You might ask yourself… much will this cost me….

    Well for the low low bargain basement price of $14,997 you can have your own private LA show….

    Fly out to Beeutiful smog filled LA, and explore the dead flora and fauna on your way to Maria Andros N. Canon Drive virtual office in Beverly hills, and bask in the luxurious 120sqft of the most elegant virtual luxury (luxury sold separately) you have ever laid your eyes on. As an added bonus, you will get to visit her beeutiful apartment by the beach in Sonny Santa Monica… at the beautiful Sea Castle Santa Monica ….bask in the grandeur of 375 sq.ft of total elegance (elegance sold separately).

    Marvel at her expertease as she tells you that a left margin should start 300 pixels to the left as opposed to 250 pixels to the left.

    Gasp in aww of her brilliance, as she teaches you how to open a youtube account (the complexity of which are shear mind boggling), a twitter account and a facebook account (the holy trinity of Social Media).

    Learn about facebook, understand how to make friends…

    That’s not all…you will also get links to “special” price twitter, youtube backgrounds, as well as a plethora of other affiliate links to some of the best viral media tools available, like traffic geyser…(warning…traffic geyser is so powerful that using it may cause a traffic jam…in the case of a traffic jam…you may not get any visitors to your site, as the traffic bottlenecks just before it reaches your site and is assured it is working)

    If your busy schedule won’t allow you to make it out to LA have no fear…Maria Offers a $20K/day (+ transport, 1stclass air, exp.,accom).

    Maria will leave her Ca location at 10am PDT, arrive at your location on the east coast at approximately 6pm EDT, you will meat her at the airport where she will ask you how you enjoyed your day, you will have time for one photo as she heads back on a return flight…

    On-site in L.A. $14,997
    Off-site: $20,000 per day plus first class airfare, transporation, accomodations and expenses.

    At least she spelt expenses right… head hurts real bad…..

    1. Oh god … kill me now!

      I love that the SeaCastle website comes with sound effects … it’s much classier than anything Maria has ever done on the web.

      … and how about this sentence from the bio page of her new site …

      “She now earns a high “Six Figure” ,soon to be “Seven Figure Income” and lives the lifestyle of her dreams in beautiful Southern Calfornia.”

      Ha! I notice a few “mistakes” there :: but I think the “air quotes” are just about right.

      1. “In 1997, a friend recommended she watch the movie “The Secret”. ” – Maria Andros

        Kind of funny considering the movie came out in 2007…oh yeah…math….right

      2. This is how Maria’s building describes itself:

        “Flexible lease terms make for a great hotel alternative…”

        (And of course it goes unsaid that it’s an even better alternative to living in your car.)

  11. Holy shit guys, between your postings on the 22nd and today (23rd in Kabul) her price has gone way up. You also have more options. You can now be double exclusive for ONLY $100k per year plus 15% of profit. Hurry though, she’s only going to grace 5 people with that deal. Somebody must have told her she was leaving money on the table, so she upped the price tags.

    Here is the text in its full glory, in case she changes it again before morning in the States:

    Maria only works with a small handful of private clients per month at a time, by application only. To learn more and to get on the priority waitlist please contact my team at

    Option #1 ”Diamond Level” (limited to 5 people, by application only)

    Exclusive Consulting with Maria and the exclusive “Diamond” membership


    $100,000 year +15% on profits generated.

    Unlimited access to Maria for all your marketing needs, campaigns and much more… For more information and to fill out an application please email us.

    Option 2 “Platinum Level” (limited to 10 people, by application only)


    $9,200 monthly exclusive membership privileges

    Get personal and one on one coaching with Maria live or via video chat for four hours each month and private email access for any additional support. For more information and to fill out an application please email us.

    Option #3 “Gold Level”


    $1,997.00 monthly membership (limited to 12 people, by application only)

    Each month you will have a LIVE 30 minute call with Maria where she will laser target and coach you to what action steps you need to take to see real-time results in your business.

    You will also be a part of an intimate mastermind group where you will be held accountable and supported with monthly one hour group calls. This is a powerful space and opportunity to be on the “Hot Seat” and have Maria and the group to help you to address your current biggest challenges helping you excel to success.

    You will also have a private forum with other fellow “gold” members.

    Option #4

    Video Marketing & Social Media

    Two-Day VIP Mastermind Intensive

    Hands-on Training in L.A. *LIVE* in person or via video chat with Maria.

    Receive two fully customized on-site training days for you, your team and your vision.

    If you’re serious about your online video and social media success, you don’t have a single minute to waste, you’re someone who wants to see FAST results and you’re willing to take the right actions, then the Video and Social Media Immersion Day is for you.

    Meet with Maria to create your personalized online branding & expansion strategy.

    Included in this powerful package are a professional photoshoot with Maria’s very own photographer. Together we will create your new image and look, to unify your “Personal Brand” and to bring out the star that you are.

    After your photoshoot, you will meet with Maria to mastermind and create your action steps to catapult your business to the next level with proven marketing strategies. On day two of your intensive, you will sit down with Maria and mastermind where you will learn how to:

    Fully maximize, monetize and tap into the power of video,social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc…)and it’s global reach.

    Re-vamp your website so that it converts and brings in new clients and subscribers.
    Understand how to build relationships and use social bookmarking sites correctly.
    Learn to create hypnotic videos that call your prospects into action.
    How to customize and personalize your “Brand” across all the social media mediums for maximum impacts.
    Create a celebrity like following online by positioning yourself in front of your target market correctly.
    …and much more!

    On-site in L.A. $25,000
    Off-site: $30,000 per day plus first class airfare, transporation, accomodations and expenses.

    (By application only)

    Please email my team at to fill out an application

    1. Ummm….just a shout out to Andros who is reading here….regardless of how HIGH you put the price, business is all about trading “one *commodity* for another” (money for talent, like when I panhandle), whether one commodity is highly “leveraged” or even if it is not. My team was being “SAR-CAUSTIC” when I stated you are now “trading dollars for hours”. Try grasping this concept….you were always trading money for time…no matter how “leveraged”…get it now?…moving on….

      Sorry Dave….

      yeah….Andros is keeping us amused….when she read my teams post how she was going to lose a whole day flying, AND how she was trading dollars for hours (obviously didn’t grasp the sarcasm involved), AND the summary about Brunson charging for a $25K day at his Potato office, she couldn’t “cheapen” herself, and upped her prices….

      Andros “thinking”; “If Brunson can charge $25K for a day with him (and his team), then I can charge $25K for my day. If Brunson charges 10K for a “partnership”. I can charge 100K +15% prophets”. I increased my prices…so up yours! (okay Andros..that was so un-lady like) –source: the universal mine

      When my team mentioned her video that was coming out before her overpriced product launch (which apparently was a real “bargain”, based on these new prices), she “canned” it, just to prove me wrong. No pretty beach “apt” video…no pretty beach shot….nada….okay…okay….

      Andros is of the belief that if you charge $1 for a something and make $.30 net, and usually sell a million (making $300K)…then the logical extrapolation is just charge $10…net $9.7…you’ll sell that same 1 million (make $9.7M and retire)…hmmmm….maybe she should be looking for sparticles..Why? …cuz everyone needs a “superpartner” to make an elementary theory like that work!!!

      “(By application only)”

      Someone should applicate. I would be liking to see the application form. I doubt she would fall for any application request, since I highly doubt anyone asked for an application form to date (including the last time she was out to lunch…i mean launch…hehehe…a freud chicken slip)

  12. I predict she doesn’t get one single taker, period. Not in this economy, unless she’s offering some major unadvertised “bonuses.” It’s either her wishful fantasy to land a big, dumb, easy gig, or she’s posturing to make her next info product seem like “quite the deal” in comparison.

    Here’s what’s really funny: you just know there has to be NO “team.” It’s all just her, posing as an “organization.” If you need support, it’s most certainly her, pretending to be “Jane, support technician” or whatever.

    Look at how she writes (from above): “Maria only works with a small handful…” then followed by, “To learn more and to get on the priority waitlist please contact MY team at…”

    Right there in mid-b.s., she shifts from being someone else and building herself up, to just being her plain old self.

    Her inconsistency is really quite consistent.

  13. Well, it appears another of Maria Andros lies has been taken apart. I was searching on youtube and found the following video brandishing first position for the search term Maria Andros. It came ahead of her 527 other videos containing that term. She must be pissed. The queen of video marketing was usurped by some unknown individual


  14. Interesting disclaimer from the almighty Bimbecile….

    “Please read my Affiliate Disclaimer: From time to time, I will promote, endorse, or suggest products and/or services for sale. My recommendation is ALWAYS based on my belief that the product and it’s creator will provide excellent and valuable information, based on my relationship with them, and or if I have experienced the product. In some cases, I will be compensated if you decide to purchase that product based on my recommendation. Always do your OWN due-diligence before making any purchases. Never purchase anything that you cannot afford. Most people don’t do anything with the products they buy, so most of the time, their typical results are zero. To your success!
    February 7th, 2010 at 5:17 pm”

    “my belief that the product and it’s creator will provide excellent and valuable information, based on my relationship with them”

    Your “relationship” with them is financial (since this is an an “affiliate” disclaimer)….furthermore, your belief doesn’t factor into anything, only what you state in your sales letter….

    “Most people don’t do anything with the products they buy, so most of the time, their typical results are zero. To your success!”

    bimbecile…excuse me…butt….if you are going to be quoting results in your sales copy….you have to show typical results in your sales copy, not “allude” to typical results in your disclaimer….

    That means you can’t show the wieners (like “your” claim that your “buddy” made $500K last year) and then state, butt… most do not make a thing. Then quantify that with…butt only because most don’t do a thing.

    Your own disclaimer implies that the only reason people would fail to make what you are claiming in your sales copy, is if they don’t do anything with the product. That would tend to Indicate that anyone who does implement the product can expect the typical results (in this case typical being the only result you share ($500K in a year) advertised.

    Furthermore, if you make a “financial claim” in your sales copy, you better have documented proof of what you stated is true, or your statement would be construed as deceptive (or worse as fraud)…

    Again…for the record…even the old FTC regulations did NOT allow for deceptive advertising practices even with your “cute” earnings disclaimer….which I did not find that amusing to be honest…and was a slap in the face to anyone with even a modicum of intelligence…

  15. Maria Andros has looked into _cartman’s_ crystal balls and made a video about 2010 predictions. Apparently, she is psychic too!
    Predictions by Maria Andros

    I. Videos will be available in 2010
    II. 2010 is the year to realize our full potential
    III. 2010 is time to take your global business online globally
    IV. Unless you’re clear and you have clarity you will need success
    V. Every moment is a new opportunity
    VI. In 2010 you are new in this moment so take your level to the next level
    VII. What is your quality of your relationships
    VIII.What do you do in your spare time?
    IX. Take the action steps to create your empire
    X. Get clear about clarity, eventually clearing up all obstacles to success

    1. Wow, that’s almost as accurate as a newspaper horoscope.

      Judging by the position of the shadow coming off Maria’s nose, it must be about 2 o’clock her time.

      1. @Burpus, I’ve just watched about 20 seconds of the video – her forehead doesn’t move at all. Botox, perhaps?

        Or maybe celery has magical healing powers…who knows.

        1. @Nikki, My guess would be Sears latex exterior house paint. I’m more impressed that she can still talk while her ventriloquist drinks a glass of water.

          1. @Burpus, I’m a nurse and I say she’s a tranny. Don’t you see that shaved adam’s apple?

    2. @bottle nose, I had to read that a few times as my poor addled brain can’t make any sense of it.

      Then I remembered – trying to make sense of things coming from those that are obviously far superior to me just doesn’t work – I don’t have a celery-like following to translate my words into “you know, like, yeah, like, whatever” language.

      Unfortunately I’m rather fond of the English language, and would like to continue using it in a fashion that others (and by others, I don’t just mean those that pay me their life savings for some crappy lesson in self-promotion) understand.

      For that reason alone, I will never be a guru with a celery-like following.


      1. @Nikki,

        Botox? no…no….full plastic surgery….but she’s talking a wee bit ‘simple’ like….from the secret archives…shhhh


        1. @_cartman_

          Highlarious! Someone should sell action figures of all the characters here.

          The Maria Andros action figure :: now with kung-fu grip. What she grips is up to you!

          1. HOLY HOLY it’s the risen Michael Jackson from the dead!!

            Oh wait on second thought it’s only Marilyn Manson’s twin sister

          2. @SD,

            Thanks…Had some time to kill, and I had been dying to test out the new roto brush in AE CS5 (your video inspired me)….it’s a fucking sweet tool…

            I was able to roto out her face and neck (~1800 frames) in less then 10 minutes…..and then something went horribly wrong, and a small project turned into a weekend killer….

            Her ‘hair and upper torso’ took a bit (well HOURS) longer to roto (I would have been ever so grateful to be able to key her out (damn eWe universal))…she was in the sky lounge beside a picture frame (which caused the mask to leave the confines of her head [note to andros:comb your hair, and stop touching your’s a PITA to roto hands and fingers] and extend into the black part of the picture…[note to andros:please color your hair Ronald McDonald red])….the main color of the dress blended with the wall color (I even had trouble differentiating dress from fucking mini flip) so it was basically frame by frame roto work…

            Overall, the roto brush did a great job….butt….if you don’t need to work with the roto data….render the layer…or it will “refresh” the roto mask (on every frame) every time you make a change (& sometimes just randomly while scrubbing…wasting ~5 minutes each time it happened to ‘refresh’ each and every frame)…..butt…after the 50th odd time…I said no more, and rendered the layer (i’m not stoopid….apparently I’m just real fucking slow).

            On a final note….AE finally utilizes 64bit architecture, and uses the full power of the CPU & mem….it ate through resources like Starvin Marvin ( )…it chomped through 9Gb (leaving 3Gb behind for all other adobe programs) of memory like it was an ap-per-tiz-zer…. when rendering, it was able to utilize the full 8 threads from all four cores…making it much faster then CS4….I should install the 32bit version of AE CS5 and test the difference in render speeds…

            …hmm…I went off track….well….I understand the maria dull is already available….made by fa-tel, comes with iphony, SMTB plaque, money packs, and 8×10 glossies (pink misterroti sold separately)…pull the sting in her back, and she vocalizes one of 30 self-aggrandizing sayings….

            hmmm….thinking….maybe I should make an interactive flash….


            1. @Nikki,

              Thank you…yeah I forgot the celery…sigh….I guess the celery like following is ‘made-up’ separately.

            2. @_cartman_, the celery-like following only comes if you spend your life savings (and that of your parents, or any other relative) learning the ‘secret’ of gaining celery…

              I can’t possibly tell you what that secret is as a) I don’t have any rich relatives (boo!) and b) I have better things to do with my time than pay people to tell me how to get fake friends. I just use my imagination to talk to all my fake friends / followers / celery.

  16. It’s incredible…all the cutting edge stuff that’s out there….And speaking about cutting edge (maybe dragged some along the concrete) a “student” of Maria Andros is presenting a ONE day Video Master Class Training program….for the rock bottom price of $997 (wow…they’re practically giving it away!).

    here’s what one “customer” had to say

    “By day 2 of this amazing seminar I got my video on Page 1 for 2 of my keywords” (did they not get the memo that it is just ONE day…well…at least we know it is an Andros type of TestiMOANial)

    Included in your “tuition” price are $500 worth of Boneuses!!! Have they lost their frickin minds! It’s already so cheap….and with all those boneuses…they are practically paying us to impart their wisdumb!!!

    One might ask; “butt _cartman_, what do you learn in a Mastery class, and how can you become a Master in just one day?”

    I’m glad you asked (even though the question did come through as just a wee bit fucking skeptical)….if we are really honest with ourselves…once you take all the fluff out of getting a Masters degree (in anything) at EVEN an accredited University….the actual amount of training is really no more then 6-7 hours TOTAL (I can provide documented statistics)…and you really don’t get a Q&A session (total boneus I might ad) to prepare ewe for the real world..

    Look at just some of the things ewe (remember there is no I in Team but there is wee in ewe…huh?…whateva..) will be learning…

    “How to setup your own your video hosting channel” (Andros English..the student has been authenticated)

    (translation:how 2 set up a youtube channel…how many of us have spent weeks (if not months) trying to muddle threw the shear (my mama says ewe should always shear your knowledge) complexities of setting up a youtube channel)

    “How to setup your video distribution account”
    (translation:how to buy a traffic geyser account…how can they provide so much fricken value….for such a low price…it’s unbelievable)

    “How to get the video from your camera into onto your computer” (grate stuff…I know I have been attempting since 2005 to get my video off my camCorder and into onto my computer…I’m already feeling liberated)

    “How to upload your video into your editing package(pinnacle)”

    And so much more cutting edge stuff, that it !wobbles the mind! If we can be totally honest with ourselves…we can honestly say this is not a Video Masters class…….this is the frickin Ph(fucking)D of video training….I mean….you can go to a “video” school for 4 years spend $100’s of $1000’s of dollars…and maybe…if you are lucky…be working with some third rate producer (in 10-20 years)….or take this course….and be working with the likes of James Cameron in less then a week….it’s really a no brainer!

    Can you imagine your video showing up on the first page of google. That’s rite….you are going to learn how to get on the first page of google, and dominate for your keyword phrase….anytime someone types in your longtail keyword phrase like, for example, ie, eg: “I’m really tired of blue monkeys flying out of my butt, and I really just want to learn to market with videos to get free leads and traffic chasing me, without having to spend thousands in marketing”…chaching!!…your fucking video shows up front and center…..

    I don’t know about you guys…butt…I am taking the course (mama didn’t raise no foos)…gotta run…going out now to open those bank accounts….and going universal mine window shopping, to figure out what I am going to spend when I have a billion dollars (maybe some Mac and Cheese with goremay cheeses…upgrade my Yugo to a nice reliant automobile (with full faux leather interior)…and buy a beautiful green dress for my wife..and goremay treats for Arthur Anderson and Jeffrey Skilling (our cats)!!…

    Thank you universal! Being in toon with with universal mine, is like winning the lottery on a daily basis….it’s truly magical….

    1. @_cartman_, the videos on that site are lame as can be for a site that is supposed to show you how to use video marketing to promote and sell. The people running the site are totally fucking useless, much like Maria Andros, they talk a lot of hype, but have ZERO portfolio to show off their skills. Wankers.

      1. @Universal American InnerNational Association Of Society, that’s the thing I’ve never understood & what has made me smell a rat with so many of these supposed experts.

        Surely, if you’re trying to sell something to prove you’re an expert, then you need to actually be at least reasonably well-qualified in your subject or well-versed.

        If you can’t show me how I can improve, why would I want to learn from you?

        We can take video marketing as an example. Now, I don’t have a clue, and I happily admit that. But if I wanted to learn, then I’d look for someone whose videos I enjoyed & I thought were well produced.

        Otherwise I may as well ask my cat for tips on video production.

        If you claim to be an expert, people are going to ask for proof – both statistical and evidence-based (i.e. show me your YouTube channel with the video with the 10 million views).

        None of this “oh, I’m too modest to share it with you”. Er, no. Not when you’re trying to sell yourself.

        Hang on, just realised how that last paragraph sounds…oh well, it still works!

        1. @Nikki, maybe Maria Andros is making six figures a year in another kind of “video marketing”… .. … … ….. …. . . ….

  17. hmm….interesting….

    Salty dude, it appears the bimbecile is in your city and state (at least that is her claim) for an unspecified period of time…do you have a convention going on in your city?

    On a separate issue….this address is linked to a location directly but inadvertently (or indirectly and vertently) provided by Jimmy Davis (c/o: Universal Mine). I was informed that this is “his” lake house.

  18. Check out the Maria Andros review HERE:

    “Video Marketing Queen… not in the least”

    “Her course consists mainly of “self-aggrandizement” (on a constant basis), about why her course is great and why she is great, with little to no practical substance to the course itself.”

    You can pretty much disregard all the other “glowing” reviews which appear to be totally bogus.

    1. @Well Well,

      Surprise….IM report card provides an affiliate link….for $1,250 in conmissions they give her a neutral positive….that’s nice…considering they never took the course…

      Surprising IM report card allowed that feedback…then again…considering the date, I guess they had no residual financial interest not to allow it….if that would have come in when they were giving her a positive review, I kind of wonder if it would have been allowed (or how long it would have been held back).

      9 people commented (3 of which are not flattering), yet 24 graded her and gave her an A- average rating…..strange….wonder how many of those 21 ratings (and 6 comments) are Andros in disguise….or belong to IM report card…

  19. Maria Andros is teaming up with Oliver Talamayan. Nice combo, I know he will take her to the cleaners, because Manila, Phillipines = scam capital of the world. The corruption is so thick in that country that probably only 1 out of 30 people (I’m pulling this figure out of my ass, but I’m trying to make a point, it may be more like 1 out of 50) you come across there would be considered honest. The social consciousness there is quite different, and their conception of “honesty” leaves quite a bit to be desired for.

    It’s going to be funny when Maria’s buddy Oliver gets done cheating consumers and turns around and cheats her too. Hahahah

  20. You should read Maria Mandro’s posts on Facebook (yeah I cannot help but look sometimes)

    Basically she posts (frequently) about how she didn’t just get where she is because of her looks you know (yeah no shit sherlock!)

    and says how many guys a day tell her how hot she is.

    I admit it’s going to be fun to watch that Mandros (was she born a woman?) have a total meltdown one day and just freak.

    Oh and if she mentions one more time how she lives RIGHT ON THE BEACH NOW.. right on the OCEAN you know people! I think I’ll have to gag.

    1. @No Mandros,

      Yeah, her messages are hilarious…I can do without all the repeat events, and the self-aggrandizing posts…but since she claims her new program is coming out early fall (from spring, then early summer, then late summer) it’s all par for her coarse…and besides which…take those away and she’ll have nothing left…

      “I’m going to show you how to fast track your manifesting soon in a future program I plan on creating, until then Be careful what you wish for. This morning I updated my affirmations. I don’t do a lot of speaking events (only big events that I resonate with) Funny I had 2 invitations within a few hours that I’m considering with my schedule. I wonder what else is going to show up television, radio and a book tour lol” -Maria Andros

      Well…the LOL is right…i’m CONfused….if we have to be careful what we wish for now…why do we have to buy your “fast-track” manifestering coarse later? Oh man…you’re like a person who rebels against authority…what’s the word I’m thinking of…starts with an A..ends with ist…oh’re an antichrist

      “I feel a little like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz lately… A secret about me I WAS Dorothy in the school play in 7th grade. I practiced my lines for 3 months, on the night of the dress rehearsal I freaked out and got so scared that I pretended I was sick. My understudy Mona went on, I NEVER got to play Dorothy but my life is kind of like that now. Which character would you be if I was Dorothy again and why…:)” Maria Andros

      Wasn’t Dorothy suffering from delusions by being knocked in the head with a flying cow…ohh wait no…that was twister…right…she was suffering from delusions from a high fever…okay…that explains a lot…

      ” I rarely do this but it’s this good! My friend Gideon Shalwick is a rockstar with video and just opened the doors to his new program, my members are joining. I wanted to share this with you before he closes the doors. This is my affiliate link and I only promote people I know personally and that I believe in. I personally recommend Gideon as a authentic source for great value and video content.” -Maria Andros

      yeah…yeah…everyone’s a fucking rockstar…I mean the first person that comes to mind when I think “video rockstar” is Gideon Shillwack…and a distant second is James Cameron… rarely, you mean once a week….I guess one persons rare, is another persons continuous spam.

      ” The amazing men in my life are allowing me and supporting me in becoming the woman i’m destined to be. I’m a very lucky girl, thankyou for all your inspiration, wisdom and encouragement. You’re flawless … :)” – Maria Andros

      ummm….no comment….butt….”luck” isn’t the word I would use…

      ” Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
      Matt 7:7-8″ – Maria Andros

      Okay..when she’s right…she’s right…this fucking works…

      Ask and it will be given –

      I went to a restaurant, asked for a salad…a salad was given to me, if only I knew earlier…you know how many times I sat at a restaurant table not saying anything, and never getting any food, while all those around me were being fed (if only I had Andros wisdumb earlier…butt…I had no mentor….I was suffering from “mentor retardation”)…I felt like a fucking caveman (cavemen and dinosaurs were extincted in the 1960’s…right about the time they invented shoes…so don’t feel bad if you didn’t know…I didn’t know either)

      Knock and the door will be opened to you-

      I went to a friends house…stood in front of the door..nothing…I knocked…he opened (spooky…yet magical)…thank you universal….I might add….ring bell also works…I think about all the past wasted trips, and it makes me sad….if only I would have pieced it together sooner…..

      Seek and you will find-

      I would tell you about my finding my car key by looking for it….but I’m afraid you just wouldn’t believe it….all you non-believers- Repent…

      ” Integrity: is a concept of consistency of actions, values, principles, expectations and outcomes. In western ethics, integrity is regarded as the quality of having an intuitive sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one’s actions. integrity is the inner sense of “wholeness” deriving from qua…lities such as honesty and consistency of character.” -Maria andros

      ummm….right…”intuitive honesty”..and “truthfulness in regards to motivations” (sounds like a very self-serving definition of “integrity”)…translator says: you can be as dishonest as you please, as long as your honest with yourself about your dishonesty with others….hmmm…I don’t think that is “integrity”…did a new dictionary come out….memos people….memos…

      hmmm…maybe their not so funny….I have an ouchie in my head….

      California Prop 65.4 Warning Sign: Warning: This Post Contains Sayings Known To The State Of California To Cause Stupidity Or Other psychological harm. Read at your own risk. Continued exposure is hazardous to your mental health.

  21. oh funny i didn’t even realize that the person above me called her Mandros too. I swear. now that is funny.


  22. LOL Blimpie.. She is tall without too many curves (in a BAD way)

    you think she was born a mandros?

  23. Maria Mandros obviously must visit this blog.

    She has made DMCA claims to youtube for EVERY video about her that has also appeared on this blog. Because none of the people who have posted those great videos has replied to the automated youtube messages, those videos have all been removed.

    For anyone who has posted one of those videos (or plans to make and post one – yay!), remember that these CAN stay up…you just need to respond to the youtube emails and claim FAIR USE. Those videos are only coming down because of non-response.

    FAIR USE is on your side!

  24. Maria Andros you so purddy done let dem be jellis over you. Theyz just jellis over your long flowin’ hair and your style and grace all over d place. Theyz wish theyz made millions of dollars online doin’ videos in front of the computer. Theyz jellis over your celery-like following. Haterzzz

  25. LOVE her facebook updates you mention!

    The BEST though was just a few weeks ago when she went on (not verbatim) but saying “I’m a unique beauty and think I’m very similar to Princess Diana”

    Oh GOD i wanted to comment so badly.

    Princess Diana!?!?! She might have had a pronounced nose too (in a good way-not a shnoz the size of Brooklyn) but honey she was a class act. There is NO comparison. Don’t even TRY it!

    Princess Diana. She had more class than you have Maria in your little man hand finger!

    1. @No Mandros,

      Ohh…this one…I missed it….

      People have said in the past through my journey, “Maria it’s because you’re pretty” today I will be RAW & say i’m NOT a traditional beauty by any means, I’m kind of more like Princess Diana (who I had the privilege of meeting when I was a kid) she didn’t have a traditional look ,but she was for the people & the “Peoples Princess” , a humanitarian who reached the hearts & minds of the people who loved her:) July 29 at 2:03pm

      I can’t honestly figure out what she’s trying to say, but if she is CONsidering “herself” a humanitarian, someone should REALLY provide her with a dickshunairy.

      1. @_cartman_, She just needs to pack it in, go find herself a sugar daddy (if she doesn’t already have one), and get back behind the cosmetics counter. All of her fake wannabe guru pretense is epic fail.

        1. @Snozzy,

          Andros is ALL about pretense. Her life is a storyvision-board….from her claim of daddy calling her a queen (done as damage CONtrol),to her totally fabricated history (which she “borrowed” from her sister-in-law)…Andros spends more time trying to CONvince people she’s great, rather then working on actually trying to be great…

          and just today (NOW deleted)…

          even bad publicity is better than no publicity. they just don’t realize they are actually HELPING you build your brand to superstardom levels … -Maria Andros

          Not having any publicity at all, is worse then being “unmasked” as a fraud…who knew…it must be true…she capitalized HELPING (for emphasis)…and with videos titled “Maria’s trip to the Apple store caught on tape” (a self filmed video)…she’s arrived at superdumbstar already…

          Ours is not to reason why, ours is just to laughing die (note to self: don’t mess up anymore proverbs).

          PS – this message comes as a direct result of my reinstatement of my Andros youtube videos..

          1. @_cartman_ ::


            Hopefully this will inspire my fake secretary Debbie to file my counter-notices and get my accounts back. But I kind of doubt it … she’s such a lazy bitch!

            Hello I’m Maria Andros and welcome to this video …


            1. @SD,

              You have to drop that fake Zero (snap)..and get yourself a fake Hero (snap snap)…

              That’s why you need personnel-vision(tm), a team of plastic people (part of the future-real(tm) line…each team member sold separately)….I only ever use a top-notch plastic team, second to none! When you are in an 8 figure a year busyness…you can’t play around with outsourcing…

              and speaking about play (I know how to balance delusion with reclusion) …I took out the Vector W8 along with the refueling chopper in celebration…future-real(tm) life is sweeet….

  26. Maria Andros (Official Page) as an entrepreneur its ESSENTIAL to outsource… for example I order all my toiletries etc…(shampoo, toothpaste, etc) from & they ship it to my house. Otherwise I’d be in the store for an hour. Simple tip to save you time :)

    ummm…since when is buying personal hygiene products considered “outsourcing”…it appears no one got her that dickshunairy…

    we order take out, ipso calypso, that must make us CEO’s (or would that classify as CFO)…this afternoon the board of directors are meeting to pick out my underwear….

    my fucking head hurts again…

    1. @_cartman_ ::

      ha! Oh Maria … so bad … and yet so so good.

      Here’s another ESSENTIAL tip for would-be webtrepreneur CEOs …

      If you’re a fucking idiot {Maria!} … outsource the creation of your fake content to someone who isn’t. If you think you can’t afford it … cut toiletries from your outsourcing budget and recalculate.

    2. @_cartman_, and I’m supposing that for those super-important business trips across the Atlantic, Maria doesn’t just frantically flap her arms like the rest of us. She gets on a plane, with a pilot, and.. (continues for hundreds of thousands of pages)…

    3. @_cartman_, Wow, you can buy toiletries ONLINE? I hope Andros will elaborate some more on that, instead of just leaving us hanging. Maybe you have to buy her coaching to learn all the secrets of buying toiletries online.

    4. @_cartman_, Once again, I appreciate you for sharing her eternal goodness. Butt let’s stay on point here: She’s right. I outsource most of my book sales to Aamazon, and it has been really great to allow me more beach millions. I have been outsourcing my fast track manifesting soon in a future program I plan on creating, until then I am careful what I wish for. This morning I updated my masturbations. I don’t do a lot of spanking events (only big events that I resonate with).
      The nose knows.

  27. Anybody need a job? Maria’s hiring and gracefully graceously giving us all the once in a lifetime opportunity to work with her team.

      1. @Floyd, wasn’t it both Joan Armatrading & Beyonce that have released songs called “Me, Myself, I”??

        Perhaps she’s been listening to those and thinking it means 3 separate entities.

    1. Excellent “tribute” site. Let’s all start putting up some helpful links to that on forums and blogs and such. :)

  28. OMG I just listened to this video you posted Salty, I can’t believe she is telling men to wear dresses on her coaching calls. WTF???????

  29. Go barefoot and pretend there’s tree roots coming out of your feet??????????????????????????????????????? If you lean forward you’re in the future if you lean backward you’re in the past?????WTF!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What drugs is this woman on?? Must be those “fun shrooms” Andy Jenkins was talking about.

    1. @_cartman_, Maybe she’s referring to the videos they put up on the high shelves, above the sports magazines, and closest to the beer cooler. Or maybe she’s just talking out of her adam’s apple.

      1. @Flea Circus,

        Nothing would surprise me about Andros or her new coarse Video Conversion formula.

        Okay…it appears to be a $1997 coarse (big surprise there). And it’s Jenkins, Fleecme and Schefren (front and center).

        Her designer kept the page (actually a whole affiliate mini site) from being indexed, but luckily someone else made it public (thank you stranger). It would appear she is going the way of continuity (a coarse that keeps on taking).

        She gives you a list of sites to spam, a list of prizes (ohhh anti-gravity flight or a Bali Vacation, OR you can get the VCF plutonium edition…umm…sure…why not…[[want the Bali Vacation?… no…please give me the worthless Video Conversion Formula Plutonium upgrade)

        1. @_cartman_, What a crock!

          The video actually says this:

          “The Video Has Been Rated GR-13”
          “Getting Rich Cautioned”

          Getting rich? Since when has Maria Andros gotten anyone “rich?” Or even “gotten rich” herself?

          She is totally over the top now.

          I’d love to see a new video from you Cartman. Your videos rock, and this soooooo could use one!

        2. @_cartman_, Andros is promoting a multi-level affiliate payout scheme with that. I’m curious about the legalities of doing that, if anyone knows? Seems like there have been lots of new laws and regulations in recent years that would make it fairly onerous to pull that off. Anyone?

        3. @Frank,

          hmmm…I didn’t even notice that video intro [[well she’d have a hard time denying it is a business opportunity with that kind of intro]]…I wonder if the 13 rating means she won’t screw anyone younger then 13 [[she has morals you know]].

          She’s already ratcheting the BS up a notch for her coarse

          Maria Andros (Official Page) I get more EXCITED when my students get results now then when I do even! I love creating programs with actual strategic duplicatable IMPACT. Congrats to one of my amazing students Terri who shared this- Just stopping by to tell you that I uploaded a video this afternoon and I am listed already in about 1 hour in the #1 spot on the first page of GOOGLE!!!!

          Yeah, or at least until they lie about their great “suckcess”, so you can keep attempting to sell your $2K lies (and pay $1K to your co-conspirators).

          I mean it’s truly magical that you “closed down” your “program” for a year [[according to your own launch video Encoded date: UTC 2010-09-26 05:25:52]] and one month before you go live, a “student” [[who finished your coarse more then a year ago..if they even took it]] decided to put up a video that ranks, and you provide absolutely NO verifiable evidence that supports this CONvenient claim.

          1 hour and ranked page 1 position 1. That tells me “Terri” ranked (if s/he even made any video) for their own name, or some other non-searched very longtail keyword phrase [[truly fucking magical]]…


          Good question. I am not sure about U.S. law involving multi-level marketing.

          If you want to take her down, I would check for immigration violations. My guess is she is working and running “operations” without a business visa [[not sure if that can be checked or not]], they are difficult to get [[you need significant investment capital or “specialized knowledge”]]. Her “business category” most likely doesn’t require any permits/licenses, and she is probably operating under the radar and working in the USA to “run” it.

  30. You you should change the page name title » Maria Andros: She is God {maybe} to something more better for your content you write. I loved the the writing even sononetheless.

  31. 1. Who the fuck is this fuckin idiot bitch?
    2. Which idiots are paying her money?

    She sound like a fuckin idiot with a -130 IQ I would pay her to shut her mouth. I listened to her run her mouth for 20seconds and my head is still spinning

    1. @John, well according to Maria , she has thousands of successful fans and clients. Guess we’re all just “jellis” of her movie star, breath taking beauty and her millionaire success.

  32. This chick reminds me of several floozies I banged while in Community College in 1994.

    They thought that they were hot (and physically they were), and that they would be big starts someday. Of course, I encouraged that thinking so they would give it up.

    There were literally dozens of them. And now, not one of them is a start. They are all fat, ugly housewives who live in the suburbs and drive caravans.

    Point being, Maria, you need to get into reality. Someone told you that you could be a start so they could tear into your ass, and you actually believed. Now, he told another, and he told another, and so on, so they keep the charade going while you get loaded with spooge.

    Meanwhile, you have it in your head that one day it will end, one day it will be worth it, and you really be a star. Unfortunately, you’ll be just be an old, wrinkled soccer mom, if you’re lucky. The path you’re on, you’ll probably be getting broomhandled in County before you become a star or a soccer mom!

  33. Chris!

    She ain’t EVEN physically hot! She’s a butter face (that means, bodies ok … But her FACE! Yikes!) She’s like a 4 out of 10. I know 9’s and 10’s with half the attitude of this _________. My Gawd she is like the most soul-less shallow self serving superficial shit I have ever seen.

    When will Mandros (like that phrase someone coined above) go away!??!?!?!?!!??!

    1. @giant schnauz, Uh..I don’t know about you, but I like my women to have some healthy development, not some lanky, mal-nourished, alien-like body with two mosquito bumps and overgrown arms with an unusually large cranium, and something that resembles an Adam’s apple. (Some David Icke followers suggested she may be a shape-shifting alien after I presented her pictures to them.) And let’s not forget the huge dildo nose. She could team up with Dr. Harlan Kilstein’s finger healing and use her nose to heal the world.

      Just stick those fingers into her nose and…BAM Finger-to-Nose healing was born!

      (Hey, we can all talk about her looks freely, since she tries to use her appearance as part of her credibility in selling business frauducts. Remember the 3 marriage proposals she said she had after launching her videos? l0lz)

      Happy holidays
      4 2 2

      1. @422,

        Remember the 3 marriage proposals she said she had after launching her videos? l0lz)

        Yeah…I remember…and my head still hurts….

        I don’t really understand how guys flirting can be construed as a good video [[to even the most naive wo/man]]….I mean the only thought to come to my head…”gawd damn these guys must be desperate [[to desire someone who has absolutely no integrity]], I should write a book “double and 1/4 your dating”” [[fuck…I’m a marketing genie-US]]…then the thought left my head…and I started playing with a ball of yarn….

        then I stopped [[cuz I can’t do two things at once]]…..and thought…There’s something about Maria…and then that 7 minute abs guy [[the hitchhiker who Ben Affleck picked up [[is it just me, or did Affleck really look a lot like Stiller in that movie]] came into my head [[yeah…things just come and go in there]]……7 minute abs…pahhhlease…..5 minute abs [[with 5 bonus minutes FREE..for those extra stubborn abs]]…

        I ask you…why did Gawd curser me with such high intelegence….but I promise you all…I won’t let intelegence go to my head….and I won’t charge anyone to touch my ham….it’s shroud with turnips [[for everyone to enjoy]]!…I digressed again…

        come on…how can you not agree [[or pert plus…I don’t want to limit anyone’s shampooing choice]]..that she isn’t drop dead beautiful…

        …sigh…I really need to cut down on her stoopit videos….

        My kingdom for a bigger ball of yarn!

  34. High…my name is _cartman_ and welcome to my comment

    Wow…it would appear that the deceptions never stop with Andros….

    It appears that “people” [[when one has been manifestering reality, one can create interest]] have been asking Andros [[for over 3 years now]] to host a live event…and like the people on her never ending waiting list they were placed on the back of the imaginary line…and 25 spots to her VCF live event has been offered to total fucking strangers who could give a shit less….

    Over 3 years?….wait a minute…the Sept 2009 event [[when she watered the Africans]]…which she claimed took place…which was “canceled” [[for lack of any it appears the manifestered people have been “asking” to go..but given the opportunity…chose not to [damn ewe universal]…too sad]] was like 1.5 years ago [[that’s like math…I’m a professional…please don’t try this at home]]

    Andros is trying to sell tickets [[regularly $2497…my ass is $2,497…more math….if we concede [because of blunt force trauma to the head] that a day with Andros is valued at $15K + $5K expenses…and 300 people can [keyword: can] attend…that’s a value of $67 dollars each]]…now only $497 [[that’s more then $67…and no…it doesn’t even include a set of free ginsu knives…or a gratey…yeah…it blue the deal for me too]] to her live event [[it comes with a money back guarantee]].

    PS – If anyone from the SOCAL area goes [[enticed by the MBG, and wanting to experience stoopid head on]]…video the event….it should be worth a laugh

    PPS – my complex nesting may make no sense…the doctors diagnosed me with Androsblastoma….I’m terminally stoopid….I have only 2 more months to make sense….sigh…prey for me….

    1. @_cartman_, You forgot to mention the part where the attendees get to “Dance the night away” with the “Andros Angels.” Obviously, she considers that a key selling point, sure to appeal to (cough) women, but she doesn’t mention anything about how or at what point to tip them. Maybe the stacks of money in the background are some kind of subliminal hint.

      1. @Sam the Shrubbist, @_cartman_

        You are all just jellis over sucksessful bidness people making money and living their dreams. You’re just too negative and look for negative things that are really like not important at all. So what if Mandros has never once spoken a sentence that was coherent, much less truthful?? Stop looking for the negative!

        At least she pretended to help some poor starving black kids in Africa by donating to a fake charity. That’s definitely going to earn her the “good white person’s” award in heaven with mother mary, god and baby Jesus. So na na na na !

        You should be positive and try to create your own online frauducts and the best way to do it is to take Maria’s very cheap $30,000 coaching. It’s so cheap and she’s so wonderful and giving it at such a low price. Ordinarily, she would charge $300,000, but because she’s such a self-sacrificing person, she is going to give it away for practically nothing!

        So what if the people are elderly on a pension, dying of cancer, mentally challenged, or homeless on foodstamps? If you’re not willing to scrape together just $30,000 , then you don’t want a better life.

        1. @422,

          I’m not jellis….I’m a hater!….

          At least she pretended to help some poor starving black kids in Africa by donating to a fake charity. That’s definitely going to earn her the “good white person’s” award in heaven with mother mary, god and baby Jesus. So na na na na !

          Yeah…that was nice….now she is taking credit for predicting earth quakes [[new Zealand]]…and looking to turn Andros Angels into some other charity scam….

          and I quote…

          The beautiful “Andros Angels” & I… Meet Nicole, Jessica, Sasha & Samantha.. my vision for the Andros Angels was always for it to turn into some kind of charity/ movement to do good with.. stay tuned for what’s to unfold & unravel ;) – Andros

          more fraud…no doubt….

          and I quote….

          please pray for the victims of the New Zealand earthquake a few weeks ago I had this feeling and was thinking about earthquakes. We need to always remember that our certainty is never certain… this saddens me – Andros

          and when someone tried to outdo her with psychic nonsense…she went further…

          Andrea you are very intuitive I felt it less than 2 weeks ago in advance… we are all connected… – Andros

          well…she mentioned pretending about being psychic in a module or hotseat “video” from Social Media Traffic Blueprint….but pretending to be psychic for a disaster [[to “prove” a point and try to gain credibility]] is a little fucking sick….where will it end…I would think that attempting to take charity money from thirsty African’s would be good enough….I guess not…

      2. @Sam the Shrubbist,

        That’s funny….when I first posted this there was NO video…I was kind of wondering what you were talking about, but I just went back there now [[to check something]] and saw the vid you were describing…Fuck…that’s the worst fucking video editing I have ever seen

  35. Oh and btw, Miss Cleo from the 1980’s psychic line just told me that the 3 marriage proposals to Maria Andros are really true. Two of them are from Nigerians, the same ones that send everyone those million dollar lottery winner emails. She was so “beautiful” that they didn’t even have to see her picture or know anything about her to ask for her hand in marriage. The other one is from a midget with raccoon eyes. How amazing!

  36. The truth is that all of this secret special marketing sauce can be summed up in less than 1 page.If not a few sentences.

  37. VCF live event is over…but where were the 300 sock puppets?…

    The first picture would indicate a room with ~30 people.

    [[interesting considering 25 spots weto were opened to the general public and then stated they were “sold out”…remember that each student was able to have 2 “free” tickets to a total of 300 tickets]].

    The angle of the big screen on the left of the room would tend to indicate that no other column of people are to the left of them…..

  38. let the adventures begin my home was listed today and I’m moving soon… I love new beginnings! – Andros~

    Interesting statement…”technically” she isn’t lying, since it is an apartment, it would be “listed” for rent [[she must “own” homes though since she has “mortgages”….and lives in an apartment…well you know how things are….hahahaha….I kill me]]….

    Maybe charity monies don’t last forever….speaking about “charities”…

    it’s a charity…and an “internet marketing/coaching” endeavor [[CONvenient]]….maybe this Cynthia Kersey pays the expenses for the business using donation money [[I wouldn’t know, since she doesn’t answer emails, and doesn’t provide financials as requested or required by law]]….

    Smells of the same type of setup as Koenigs “Just like my piggy bank foundation” [[run from home, use donations to pay “expenses”…umm yeah]]

    It’s pretty impressive..that Andros and Sumpter raised “5K”, considering it was there from day one when she announced it…..Unstoppable supports Just like my Piggy bank foundation [[that’s Koenigs&Glyck’s piggy bank organization]]….who’d a thunk it…

    [[No financials online, emailed them 2wice in four weeks requesting financials, and I heard NOTHING back…yup…definitely the type of “charity” I would expect Andros to pick…..and the owner just happens to be a feminine shifter…of course]].

    It’s “funny” the way these new age “philanthropists” choose these Micro “charities” to “donate” money…why give it to an organization that utilizes 100% of the funds, when you can funnel it from one organization where ~30% is used to pay “administrative costs”, and forwarded to a second organization where yet another 30% goes to administrative costs…until it gets to its destination where the rest is “used” for “charity”…

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