The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.
Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.
Per the usual :: the …

When life hands you lemons :: tie life up at gun point and be like … how u like me now life?

… or at least assault a police officer :: violate your probation … and keep being a complete and total fucking junkie.
If only boiler room suck-job John Paul Raygoza had better taste in motivational wall hangings :: he may have avoided the jail time that is sure to follow the problems his actions have piled on top of the problems he created with his other actions … it’s complicated. Like …

Clint Dempsey scored the first ever American hat-trick in England’s Premier League! It’s no big deal or anything :: unless you love the world’s most popular sport … or you love America {or Texas I guess} … then maybe it’s kinda a big deal.
Sure :: it’s got jack shit to do with this blog … but Jason’s been sick so just fucking deal with it.
Too much TV has been proven by dentists to help with the flu :: and maybe even the plague … so you’re covered if things turn …

“The Transformational Leadership Council was founded so leaders of personal and organizational transformation could support each other in their contributions to the world.”

… says the Transformational Leadership Council on their website about the Transformational Leadership Council. Sure it’s a shit sentence to use as a tagline :: but understand that many of the world’s most transformational leaders were barely able to complete high school … or totally weren’t able to after getting hung up on the complexities of the 8th grade.
According to an early version of the TLC website …

“The …

Year 3 of the fake robot :: boom … done.
The year in pictures :: via video … thanks to super fucking awesome Vancouver folk rocker Dan Mangan for not suing me. Don’t call a song “Robots” or I’ll pretend to own it.
Spiders :: and Gingers :: and Homiciders … oh my!
Jason’s voice :: no less than twice.
Zero lawsuits … again.
Zero fight backs … again {unless you count fake death threats … I don’t … thanks for doubling my stats Spider Bitch}.
Zero man ups :: as always … and forever.
Popular Mechanics …

Sometimes even elves are naughty :: like Caffeinated Elf Rachael Acklin getting involved in Crystal Cox’s Depressing-n-Grotesque Pornography™.
No :: thankfully … not that kind of naughty.
Tweets Rachael :: who I refuse to call Rhiannon …

Help me bring my little girl home, and get a website, logo, header, and coaching at half off.

An unorthodox reason to have a sale for sure :: but in fairness … Rachael’s IttyBiz has always been uterocentric. The Demented Elf tweetlinks to what might be the worst sales page ever …

Dearest darling, this email is a very …

Crystal Cox isn’t in the porno business :: allegedly/hopefully :: even though she clearly has a porno name. Crystal PornoName is an “investigative blogger” :: a title that only a very serious person would grant unto herself.
Crystal was sued by some mean lawyers for defaming some other mean lawyers and a Federal judge ruled that …

she wasn’t a journalist so shield and retraction laws don’t apply
she couldn’t Anti-SLAPP him
the mean lawyer wasn’t a public figure under NYT v. Sullivan or a limited public figure under Gertz
the matter :: a big …

Size matters :: in certain things … like illegal cockfighting. You want to have the biggest cock if you plan to go home with some of them sweet sweet cockfighting monies. Some people might tell you that smaller cocks often win out … but those people haven’t been certified in Cockmaster Shamanism by the employees of a Carnival cruise ship like I have {it’s kinda a big deal}.
But size doesn’t matter in matters of the heart. Like having a black :: cold :: vaguely turd like :: heart … …

Let’s talk about Rachael. It’s obviously what Rachael wants to talk about … other NotRachael things aren’t interesting to Rachael.
Rachael Acklin is the “Caffeinated Elf” :: and she would love for you to join her Rachael based community … the Caffeinated Business Community. For just $20 a month you can access all of the advantages of being in a forum with an absolute nobody like Rachael Acklin.
Rachael’s caffeinated about page lists her various qualifications to bizness coach you to infinity and beyond …

“My oldest two kids were born during my …

Perry Belcher could store three fat ladies :: or one Newt Gingrich :: in his neck sacks. But that was a skill of little virtue in his battle with the fake robot :: which began with this March 2009 post. By September 2009 :: Evil Jowls had begun his capitulation in the comments of a post about this fraudulent Facebook ad …

That $56 million number is totally made up :: and it anyway includes mostly money made from Belcher’s decade long health fraud scam … detailed here in detail. The ad is a flagrant violation of …