Jennifer Horton Goes Down

J-Ho and the Zombie

Jennifer Horton says that she has a B.A. in Linguistics from UCSD :: so I’m sure she appreciates the cruel double entendre in the post title.  Lascivious language levity :: one word wonk to another.

James Arthur Ray needs money like a corn fed cow needs antibiotics. He wanted to sell his body on Santa Monica Boulevard :: but he’s too old :: and gross :: and cross-eyed.  Some pimp was like: “Mother fucker PLEASE!! Go sell insurance or something.”  Good plan pimp :: but that requires a licence and BigDaddy James is currently on trial for a triple homicide.  So back to Plan A :: ConMan.

James has a whole bevy of bullshit products that he can resell to the same people he’s been screwing over for years :: but it seems he is currently unable to handle his own billing.  Masses of unanswered refund requests and debts falling into default must have rendered him too creepy for even the creepiest of merchant account companies.  Enter the minion proxies …

— Minion Proxy 1 = Tony Parinello :: very important top asshole :: back-ended Death Ray’s first “I’ve Been Charged With Murder But Oh Well” self-help frauduct :: Living in the Flow.

— Minion Proxy 2 = Jennifer Horton :: J-Ho :: back-ending the re-offering of Death Ray’s recycled turds :: Life Results: Living the Life You Desire and Deserve {“living” not necessarily included}.

The contact info for Life Results lists …

3525 Del Mar Heights Road #999
San Diego, CA 92130

The office is located in this prestigious strip-mall UPS Store :: and the phone number is the same as that listed on Jennifer Horton’s “life coaching” site :: Xpress Xcellence.  The Droid dialed that number last week :: and got J-Ho on the line …

SD: Hi Jennifer :: I write a blog called The Salty Droid. Ever heard of me?

J-Ho:  {gasping silence that answers question} Yes.

SD:  Are you the merchant account behind James Ray’s most recent product launch?

J-Ho: In a way you might say that, yeah. {oops!}

SD:  {paraphrase} That’s lame.  Why?  How about giving me a clearer answer.  He’s hurting people and YOU are helping!  Do you want your name to be forever tied to his?  To what end?

J-Ho:  {begin back-tracking and equivocation}

SD:  {not impressed!}

J-Ho: {click!}

Good times. J-Ho enjoyed our convo so much that the number on the Life Results contact page promptly changed. The new page {link} :: Google cache of the old page {link}.  She can’t be accidentally answering the phone and having unharmonic conversations with non-believers :: that’s not how you attract the life that you desire and deserve.

Jennifer Horton isn’t some Jenny-come-lately to the James Ray party :: attracted like a moth to a homicide. Nope :: she’s been around.  She’s “inner circle” material :: pinkie ring / thumb ring ho harem. Jennifer KNOWS that people are dead.  She KNOWS that he’s been lying.  She KNOWS that she’s helping him sell only to people who have already bought :: people who have already been hurt :: and huckstered.

I wonder what she KNEW on this night?

Greg just watched Colleen die :: Megan is masterminding the cover-up :: Michelle just left messages on the phone Colleen doesn’t have.  So I wonder what Jennifer Horton is doing in this picture :: other than sucking at line dancing and not pulling off that hair style?

Normally this is the part of the post where I’d encourage you not to purchase the services of the heartless d-bag being discussed.  For the sake of humanity :: DON’T purchase “life coaching” from Jennifer Horton … blah blah blah.  But in this case that hardly seems necessary. When The Droid investigation of Death Ray first started back in October :: J-Ho was pushing a hilariously stupid and oxymoronic “Divorce Success” coaching program. It has since failed and disappeared :: but the spammy Facebook and Twitter pages remain.  Her current “life coaching” website has an Alexa traffic ranking of 8.6 million :: that’s 7.1 million spots worse than :: a site owned by trademark squatters whose only source of traffic is absent minded URL typos by readers.

Jennifer was a Harmonic Wealth Coach. She paid Ray to be “certified” as a coach :: and then she depended on him to produce coaching clients for her “business.”  In return :: JRI kept a fat chunk of the money.  Without the JRI machine :: J-Ho is finished in “coaching” :: she hardly needs my not-helpful help {although she’s going to get it anyway!}.

But fear not for J-Ho :: she has a fall back position. She desires and deserves her own TV show :: and she’s already filmed the pilot.  Have Kids Will Travel is all about Jennifer taking her boring kids boring places on a “single-mom’s budget” after her uber-successful divorce. Even though it appears that Jennifer doesn’t work :: her “single mom’s budget” still includes room for a big expensive SUV :: multiple meals out :: and private surfing lessons. Along with having no heart or conscience :: J-Ho is massively lacking in perspective …

No one should be forced to sit through that whole terrible video :: but skip to minute 6:30 for a very strange and surreal surprise. J-Ho {wearing a mic} is pretending to impart valuable lessons to the kids :: and the kids are not-pretending to be interested. She tells them that the Horton Plaza Mall was named after their Great x5 Grandfather!

The Horton Plaza Mall :: where Colleen Conaway lost her life on July 25th 2009 :: was named after Alonzo Horton :: a real estate developer and one of the original founders of San Diego.  Jennifer Horton was probably at the Horton Plaza Mall when Colleen Conaway died :: and she was certainly at the after party.  I wonder if it was Horton family money that allowed Jennifer to attend a $5,000 “event experience” on a “single mom’s budget?”

Somewhere at the Mount Hope Cemetery :: a hundred years dead Horton just rolled in his fucking grave.

>> bleep bloop

49 thoughts on “Jennifer Horton Goes Down”

  1. So let me get this straight. She’s pretending to be an impoverished single mom, while living off an inheritance?

    Sounds like a great concept for a reality show. Sign me up.

    1. @Hippo ::

      I’ll bet the Law of Attraction works much better when you have a rich mommy and daddy.

      “Daddy :: I desire and deserve a Ford Explorer.”

      “OMG it WORKED!! James Ray was right!”

      1. @SD, that would explain a few things – I don’t have rich relatives to attract any laws to me…

        1. @Duff, that’s where I’m going wrong, I need a sugar daddy! Then I can claim that the Law of Attraction works (I mean, why else would a sugar daddy be interested in me)…I understand!

    1. @Kann ::

      God you’re stupid.

      I’d love to Facebook stalk :: but I’m banned {natch!}. Good thing there are hundreds of other eyes looking for info and sending it to me on the down low.

  2. Mr Salty, I think you are getting better (and funnier) exponentially! Damn, your style is kick-ass and gets right to the heart of the matter! She’s so very deserving of your spotlight, too. The nickname “J-Ho” is so fricking funny, and very aprop-ho. With that tongue hanging out, in the photo, one could wonder if JAR ever saw that thing around his….well, you know.

    Nice touch with the blood on the hands, by the way. These scum are absolutely despicable.


    1. @Dave Q., This pic looks more like him than any I’ve seen lately,especially the mouth. On “Mind Games” last night,the jailyard walk gave us a great shot of “James Ray Sans Dents”. His trademark smile that seems to make lonely women(and some men)cream their scivvies, just ain’t so powerful knowing those pearly whites are sitting in a glass of Polident.

      1. @Jean D,

        I really enjoyed “Mind Games,” and was pleasantly surprised that they covered Colleen Conaway. I was hoping that they would include one of those pictures from the party that night, with all the manic grins that Mr. Salty likes so much.

        Probably some kind of legal thing that they couldn’t, but it would have been awesome. It really drives home the point of how creepy and inappropriate these people are.

  3. Nice work Senior Salty. 2 thumbs up from the bizsayer and makes me wonder exactly what type of hold Mr Ray has on his minions. Is it hypnosis or simply the hope of power and fame from a father figure????

  4. The only mainstream notoriety this slut will have is when she is featured on blacks-on-blondes facial of the week.

    1. @Isn’t It? ::

      Not funny.

      Funny has to be rooted in some kind of truth. That’s just being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

      J-Ho is getting it from me because she’s sold out her moral values :: because she’s helping a ConMan cause harm to innocents. 10 to 1 :: those are the same character traits we’d see in your actions if you were man enough to leave your misogynistic :: d-bag defending :: comments under your real identity.

      1. @SD,

        I think my comment was quite rooted in the truth.

        Do you deny that what this woman is doing in this youtube video is nothing short of a pathetic grab for attention?

        And a very try-hard look at me attempt it is.

        Of course, leave it to you to try and marginalize and validate the garbage this woman is attempting to add to society with this reality T.V. show.

        Of all people who speak of true value deserving credit and not people posing empty value to the world, I would’ve thought you’d be the last to rationalize such garbage.

        1. @,

          And for the record, I don’t defend anyone in the information industry.

          In fact, I’m quite the misanthrope about it all.

          The reality you hate to face, is that society buys into these hucksters of their own volition.

          Your problem is with the unicorn providers, when it should be with the unicorn chasers.

          The gurus, the con men, all of these pieces of shit, they are a by-product of modern societies desire for instant gratification. For their hope that they can quit their 9-5 job where their dickhead superiors (who are not far from these guru businessmen, in that their aim is to maximize dollars as well) exploit the hardest working with the least pay.

          The reason these GURU’s like Ray, Pagan, and all of these other scum exist and thrive, is because of the real people at the head of society, who have wiped out the middle class. Those scum who kill our buying power by printing billions in bailouts with the fake money we carry.

          The banker scum who own most of the houses in the country.

          You, my friend, are putting band-aids on a big gaping wound by attacking these small-time shit heads.

          Re-evaluate your goals in life, and pick your targets more wisely, if you truly wish to change and educate society.

          Unless your goals are just to get a bunch of eyeballs from a few guru scumbags, who aren’t making dick compared to the real manipulators.

    1. @Success Coaching, your site comes off as a decoy. Not very trust worthy, and it seems you stole someone’s art work to promote your dead dreams. Come to think of it ; you seem as obsessed with death as JAR.

  5. Holy fuck that video was gross. Does she always have that annoying nasally voice? No wonder the husband dumped her, I see no “soul” in that woman…

    1. @Duff, agreed. It’s a strange coincidence that this woman’s last name is Horton and she claims family connection to the mall where Colleen was killed. Not sure what to think of that.

    2. @Duff, Indeed. That really bothers me for reasons I don’t understand. I also don’t understand what Salty has against having one’s office in a post office box in a strip mall. After all “The Onion” started out with a PO Box at USA First in Madison and they bill themselves as “America’s Finest News Source”. Do I need to brush up on my skepticism?

  6. That’s an interesting video….a “borrowed” failed concept, turned into a pilot…sure…why not…

    I’m kind of curious as to why they took that shot at reid’s house, and horton is sitting at that desk like it was her place.

  7. This is hilarious! I actually AM related to Alonzo E. Horton and know that he had NO CHILDREN. How Jennifer could be his grandchild to the fifth power is beyond me.

    Alonzo E. Horton founded what is now downtown San Diego and owned much of the land in the glamorous Gaslamp District. Sadly, the economy turned and Uncle Alonzo died penniless. By the time he died, the only property he had left was the plot upon which the Horton Plaza Mall of Infamy now stands. Sucks that he didn’t leave it to the family; I always wanted to be an heiress. Ever civic-minded, Uncle Alonzo left it to the City of San Diego. If it makes you feel better, there is no Horton Family Trust, dang it all.

    1. @Horton’s Niece ::

      So funny!

      So she was lying to her kids … on camera. Holy pathetic! I couldn’t find any mention on the Internet of him having a wife or kids … but I also couldn’t find an affirmative statement that he did not. Do you happen to know where I might find that?

      She should change the name of her non-show to :: “Have Kids Will Lie” … “Have Kids Will Exploit”

      1. @SD,

        The Wikipedia article on Horton says he was married five times, but there is no mention of any children.

        1. @Hippo ::

          He’s like the Larry King of the 19th Century.

          Maybe I’ll change the wikipedia article to say that he had no children and see if any Hortons {other than J-Ho} swoop in to rebuke me.

          1. @SD,

            My source is family legend and “The Story of New San Diego and of its Founder Alonzo E. Horton” by Elizabeth C. MacPhail. Pick it up at bedtime and guaranteed, you’ll be flushing your Ambien down the toilet.

            If you’re gonna brag on your tv show about how you own a mall, it might be an interesting visual to actually GO to the mall in question… perhaps head up to the top floor and look down… but maybe the thought made the hair on the back of her head stand up… or not.

  8. Pingback: » The Ray Delay
  9. Salty Droid — I appreciate your perspective on James (conman) Ray, and how he is using Jennifer Horton — but I happen to be acquainted with her and you are sadly mistaken that she has an inheritance. She is a single mom who is trying to make a living to take care of her kids.

    This is a prime example of people planting ideas that are based in falsehood — a ploy of bloggers and the media. If you don’t know what your talking about — keep you mouth shut.

    1. @Teacher ::

      I don’t believe I am mistaken. I have no idea where Jennifer Horton gets her money :: or how she affords to pay for uber-expensive James Ray events. I posited a question about the possibility of a Horton inheritance … which so far has been answered several times in these comments {including your own} in the negative.

      It also seems very plausible that Alonzo Horton had no children :: and confirmed that he died without money. So … she didn’t use Horton money to attend the events. Question answered.

      Jennifer holds herself out as a “success” coach :: which makes the origins :: and current status :: of her own “success” a very material issue.

      If Jennifer stops helping Ray push product … and propaganda … then she will be forever off my radar … and I will wish her a swift recovery to these troubled times.

      … mouth still open.

      1. @SD, I’m totally of the opinion that James Ray should and will reap what he has sown — however I also believe that unless you get your facts straight and stop relying on speculations and heresay — you do as much damage as he does. So keep that mouth open and you will catch nothing but flies —

        1. @Teacher,

          Ah yes, the “teacher” wants everyone to behave themselves and keep quiet. Let James run his business (afterall he’s only killed four) and let Ms Horton continue to help him.

          And this comment: “relying on speculations and heresay — you do as much damage as he does” is as stupid as anything I’ve heard in this case. Maybe you want to apologise.

          If you had any understanding of the situation you’d be telling Ms Horton to get away from that killer as quick as she can, before he sucks her completely into the horrid quagmire of his life.

          Or is that just speculation and hear-say?

    2. @Teacher, Maybe you need to keep your ignorant trap shut. You should remind Jennifer that all this negative information will be on the internet FOREVER. It will only get worse and worse, and it will show up attached to her name and face for all to see. If she wants that, then she can keep doing what she’s doing.

    3. @Teacher, Wasn’t it Jennifer herself,not Salty Droid, who stated she is a relative of the late Alonzo and “heiress” of fortune?

  10. VERY VERY VERY GOOD work in getting facts and eing able to piece together OBVIOUS circumstances and context. Great indight and understanding. I wished your reporting were the norm. Thank you. Peace

  11. the only attraction going for me in this video is the “almost” camel toe at minute 6:30. Major skank material

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