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Salty Droid

Tactic 7 :: The City of Gold

Tactic 7 Jedi D-Bag

Not-Doctor Kilstein :: To know him … is to have a yucky feeling deep down inside :: in that spot you thought only God and Tolstoy knew about.

The disgusting wretch of a “man” is launching his new Frauduct today :: Maybe :: His “big day” has been postponed multiple times due to widespread fear and loathing. Many say he’s a witch :: But that’s probably just a rumor started by elves to make the witches look bad. It worked :: Polls show witches trending downward.

From Not-Doctor Doofstein’s launch-eve email ::

Fast forward. I have dozens of domain names and two dedicated servers. I also have a 7 figure Internet business.

And I learned my gift for teaching (my doctorate is in education) could be used online. And as I began to understand, I began to help others grow their businesses at a very rapid rate. I’ve also worked in the offline world as well. Getting my start with newspaper, radio, magazines, and television and seeing the effect on a growing business.

I’d like to be your river guide to the city of gold. Will you join me?

Peace. Harlan

Go ahead and vomit :: I’ll wait for you to get back.

Quoting from the video on the Tactic 7 squeeze page {which you can access by :: clicking here :: and then clicking on the Google Ad so he has to pay for it … fun! Or by :: clicking here :: if you don’t care about fun}

{nasal and mopey plus aggression :: pausing for chronic indigestion :: heavy undertones of freakish evil} “If you follow these seven steps, it’s inevitable, it’s impossible for you not to grow a seven figure business … here’s proof.”

Warning :: proof not to follow.

Ladies :: hear my words … and brace yourself for a shock :: It is possible that you won’t build a seven figure business. I hope I don’t get sued for taking such a bold position :: But my dog told me to do it.

So what are the “seven steps to seven figures” that no one is talking about? Not a good question. It has something to do with Kilstein :: so it’s best to just look away.

Let us rely instead upon conjecture and extrapolation ::

  1. Be gross. Don’t keep yourself or your body in good condition. Try to always look like a perv-o who just took a shower in someone else’s sweat.

  2. Sell products so stupid that you might actually get a few people willing to pay $100 just for the irony {Finger Healing :: One of this years hottest ironic gifts :: Buy one for a hipster friend of yours today!}

  3. Make-up testimonials and publish them on commercial pages in violation of the law {link}. Why not? Fraud is so much easier than not-fraud :: Remember that!

  4. Look for opportunities to viciously abuse rape victims and their advocates {in public if at all possible}. That doesn’t sound like a business tip :: but stress relief is important :: and if you can’t publicly shame someone that has already suffered … what can you do?

  5. Go sleeveless! … and never look back.

  6. If some Justice Robot starts pointing to your ginormous flaws :: Make up a lie centered around your own dead daughter :: Tell everyone on Earth that lie {or at least everyone in SouthFlordia}. Sound extreme? … Damn right! Seven figures worth of extreme.

  7. If the darkly twisted lies don’t silence the robot :: Then start sexually harassing people and making threats :: Answer some video chat invites :: File SIX false DMCA claims :: Presto! It’s inevitable, it’s impossible for this not to silence the dirty little truth teller.

  8. Upon further consideration … don’t answer video chat invites. My bad.

And just so you know it was real :: I repeat …

I’d like to be your river guide to the city of gold.

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