The Anatomy of a Physiology
Our good friend Not-Doctor Kilstein calls himself a copywriter :: And SELLS himself as such. Act Now! and you can pay him $1277 for some of his gilt-edged copywriting wisdom {link}. Wow! That’s a lot of scratch :: I wonder {without wondering} if he’s worth it. Let’s inspectify the copy he’s written for one of his own scam-a-licious products.
Introducing :: The Physiology of Excellence
The all-important first sentence … everything is riding on it … I’m choking with fake anticipation … wait for it … ready, set, go ::
“Breakthrough Your Fears, Eliminate Painful Shyness, and Enjoy The Life You Really Want – Forever!”
Oops! The FIRST fucking word is wrong :: That’s a shame. I thought we were about to have a breakthrough here :: But Not-Doctor Doofstein was unable to break through his fog of stupid.
Okay :: Not a good start. Let’s just move on to the GIANT FONT ALL RED second sentence ::
“Renegade Hypnotist Reveals Secrets To Boosting Your Confidence Through The Roof, Eliminating Your Shyness and Stuck States, Approach Members of the Opposite Sex, Burst Past Old Limitations, Lose All The Weight You Want, And Instantly Program Your Mind For Success Using A Lost Change Technique”
On second thought … maybe that’s not a sentence. A few minor quibbles ::
- “Renegade Hypnotist” — a very sad oxymoron.
- DON’T capitalize articles, small prepositions, or the word “to” :: Mainly because IT’S WRONG. But if you must do it wrong … at least be consistently wrong {which is almost as good as being half right}.
- “Reveals Secrets To Boosting Your Confidence Through The Roof” :: Sorry FatBoy … also wrong. It should be –> “reveals the secret to boosting” .. or .. “reveals secrets for boosting” :: Cause them’s the fuckin rulez.
Okay, so the writing is TERRIBLE :: But maybe the product is valuable.
“Today, you will find that your hopes can magically become real.”
Sounds awesome :: I love magical realism.
“Impotence Removed in half an hour! I had one man come to me who had lost all confidence with women… {yada, yada, yada} One half hour later, he was done. The problem was gone!”
Interesting … having a hard time envisioning exactly how that might have played out … but I guess I’d have to concede that if you can get a hard-on with Not-Doctor Kilstein in the room … your impotence has been cured.
But hurry :: This is a limited time offer ::
“In other words, if you don’t order now, you may never see them again.”
Of course, if you check the web archives you’ll see that Not-Doctor Kilstein has been selling this shit since 2002 {link} :: So maybe urgent action isn’t required.
Still not convinced it’s time to make a purchase? Then check out the four, “incredible testimonials from people who have purchased and viewed this DVD.”
Here’s the first one ::
“This technique is too powerful not to include in your NLP arsenal. Harlan Kilstein easily teaches this technique and you get to watch a master do his magic on the tape. I picked up this technique and have gotten great results using it both with clients and on myself. I highly recommend it.
Uri Goldstein, Los Angeles”
And here was Uri Goldstein’s “incredible testimonial” back in 2003 when the Physiology of Excellence product was a VHS tape of Menachem Kasdan demonstrating the technique {link} ::
“This technique is too powerful not to include in your NLP arsenal. Menachem Kasdan easily teaches this technique and you get to watch a master do his magic on the tape. I picked up this technique and have gotten great results using it both with clients and on myself. I highly recommend it.”
Uri Goldstein, NLP Practioner [sic]“
Oops! ALL FOUR of the testimonials are demonstrably FAKED. Sounds like a crime {because it is one}. And it’s an archived crime which can’t be covered-up or deleted … trouble. I recommend taking down the whole site immediately so that the Statute of Limitations can start to run … as long as The Physiology of Excellence is being sold … prosecution is an option for some bored and lazy regulator.
Terrible writing, bad ideas, ludicrously false claims, strange pictures, fake testimonials :: And still somehow not quite as stupid as Finger Healing.
>> bleep
More fabulously hilarious writing ::
- Super Schlub Thank the gods that someone has finally sacked-up and...
- The Great Fingering Are you having problems? Sure … we all are!...
- Tactic 7 :: The City of Gold Not-Doctor Kilstein :: To know him … is to...
- Testiphonials Not-Doctor Kilstein has zero problem with faking testimonials. He...
- Kilstein’s Conning Questionnaire When we last checked in with Doctor Harlan Kilstein...
:: read one now before you die of stupid.
Thank you Mr. Droid, for taking on the scammers. This article in particular was a great analysis of some shady salesmanship.
[Reply]
Not-Doctor Kilstein is not even worthy of his own shorts. "Champion," not with that basketball gut.
P.S. The Salty Droid is awesome, as per usual.
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Everytime I see a piece of Kilstein's writing, I'm highly tempted to grab a red pen and start marking his mistakes. Besides, I've been getting the vibe that he doesn't actually know what "NLP" and "copywriting" mean and that NLP is generally considered pseudo-scientific in academic settings.
[Reply]
Duff McDuffee Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I practice NLP. It's a pragmatic set of communication tools, as well as a kind of cognitive-behavioral therapy. It hasn't been tested by academics, so it is "unverified"–for various reasons. There are many issues with why certain techniques of therapy get tested and why others don't and tons of debate within the field, but yes, someone skilled in NLP can consistently achieve results with clients that seem "miraculous" to practitioners of other techniques.
That said, there has been a long history of scam artists overstating what is possible to do with NLP and massively overcharging for their "secret techniques" which are often available in existing books on the subject. Kilstein is clearly a scam artist according to my criteria and a disgrace to the field of NLP and hypnosis (and not the first).
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
It has been tested with insufficiently scientific methods by NLP supporters. Everybody's free to do surveys or run research on such matters; it wouldn't even require the large amounts of money many sciences need to cover the expenses of their studies. But if you want others to take you and your findings serious, you have to abide by the rules of research in those areas.
Anybody to do with working on people's cognitive abilities with reference to neuroscience better be a neurologist. I had to study psycholinguistics and neurolinguistics as part of my studies and wouldn't dare calling myself a therapist.
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Slightly apropos: http://d.yimg.com/a/p/umedia/20090711/cp.12f271b8…
[Reply]
Duff McDuffee Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Something insufficiently tested is simply insufficiently tested, not proven false or unhelpful. Again, there are many reasons why things get tested or not. I think that NLP can indeed be tested and I look forward to the day when it is rigorously assessed so that the field can advance.
I no of no therapist nor psychiatrist that is a neurologist, yet the basis of all psychology is that cognitive states are based on the brain. I also studied linguistics as part of my undergraduate work and continue to study cognitive linguistics on my own.
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
All psychiatrists I know are MDs, most are neurologists. Strictly speaking, psychiatrists don't practise psychology but psychiatry.
There is no doubt that cognitive skills are greatly linked to brain functions, and I'm not quite sure why you feel the need to make this banal assertion. I still cannot help but wonder why even the proponents of NLP (not NLPt) fail to come with convincing proof of the efficiency of their trade.
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
… "fail to come up with" rather…
Duff McDuffee Reply:
July 11th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
I asserted that cognitive skills are linked to brain functions because you asserted "Anybody to do with working on people's cognitive abilities with reference to neuroscience better be a neurologist." All of psychiatry and much of psychotherapy asserts that lack of mental health is due to neuroscience (i.e. brain functions), yet almost no psychotherapists have degrees in neuroscience or neurology. I was not aware that psychiatrists are usually also neurologists. (I do however know one NLP trainer that does have a degree in neurology and teaches based on his understanding of working with brain injured patients, although this is rare amongst NLP trainers.)
Psychiatrists are MD's, but psychiatry itself has very little real understanding of the brain and it's relation to mental illness beyond the very gross. All of the DSM IV categories are theorized to be based on disfunctions of the brain, but none of the 700 or so categories have any clear evidence to prove this. The assertion that anyone working with brain functions should be a neurologist is silly, as most therapists quote brain studies regularly in their work.
Brain research for mental health mostly gets advanced by pharmaceutical companies, as there is far more money in pills than in techniques that require human contact.
That said, NLP doesn't really have much to say about specific neuroscience. It is inherently pragmatic, like carpentry vs. biochemistry of trees. The name is unfortunate in many ways.
I am not at all interested in providing you with convincing proof of the efficiency of my trade. Based on your criteria for proof, it would be impossible without millions of dollars for research (which I sincerely hope takes place to advance the field of NLP). String theory is also quite untested (and according to some, totally untestable), yet physicists still are spending millions of dollars researching and developing these theories. Again, just because something is untested and unproven according to your criteria for proof does not mean it is crap, it simply means it is unproven. True scientific skepticism is open-minded, not dogmatic.
I try my best to not make any exaggerated claims about what NLP can do as in my experience human change (i.e. psychotherapy) is very mysterious and in a very early stage of development, like the age of alchemy in the development of chemistry. That said, I think NLP is amongst the best stuff available based on my research and personal experience.
And again, Dr. Kilstein is a fraud and a sleazy salesman. We can all agree on that regardless of our different opinions about NLP.
froylein Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 5:15 am
Antonio Damasio is just one – and the most outstanding – example of a neurologist researching on behavioural changes related to brain defects. Also, psychotherapists may only quote brain studies if / as those studies were carried out by neuroscientists.
Brain research for mental health is done allover the place for its own sake and not on the pharmaceutic industry's behalf e.g. by the aforementioned Damasio. No doubt the pharamaceutic industry is influential, but no proper state will approve of medication that has not stood trial not only in the producing company's labs but also in independent studies.
The criteria for proof aren't mine but those of the academic world. Also, since NLP is obviously not lab-based, research on its validity would mostly require some personal dedication as in evaluating the outcome of once work in scientifically replicable parametres (the way the majority of most medical students go about their doctoral thesis).
I'm aware NLP is actually to be located in the fields of humanities and education, but if it tries to sell itself as quasi-conversational therapy, there is a lot to be questioned as conversational therapy also requires not only being kind and caring but extensive training in how to properly lead such conversations – particularly without being suggestive.
froylein Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 5:21 am
I'm sorry for all typos above…
Duff McDuffee Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 5:45 am
Thanks for the recommendation of Antonio Damasio. I've been meaning to catch up on what's happened in neuroscience since I graduated college (when neuroscience was hardly a field at all).
Our perspectives probably don't differ as much as they appear here–I'm very interested in neuroscience and the brain. I was basically a cognitive science major in undergrad and have been interested in how to apply cogsci to human communication and therapy, and NLP has had the greatest practical distinctions I have been able to find.
NLP ain't science, but I do think aspects of NLP are amenable to scientific inquiry and even double-blind testing. And yes, NLP is not at all accepted by the academic world, which I think sucks, and in fact allows schiesters like Kilstein free reign to claim whatever he wants about NLP because no one (except our Salty Droid) will call him on it.
I tend to be fairly anti-pharma, but that's because drugs have been so successful in gaining acceptance through rigorous double-blind studies that I think drug approaches to change have been highly over-emphasized. There's certainly something to be said for popping a pill to solve a mental health problem, however.
There are a few folks working on gaining the money and attention for testing NLP, but not many yet. I might end up dedicating some time and energy to that project. I'd be happy to learn which aspects of NLP are crap and which are wonderful (not all in my field would be so thrilled).
Not all NLP is therapeutically oriented, but there are many therapeutic techniques that have been developed by NLPers. I totally agree that kindness, caring, and extensive training are important to properly leading therapeutic conversations, and indeed this is again rare even amongst NLP practitioners, not to mention PhD's in Clinical Psychology and Psychiatrists. Listening, caring, and actually being helpful to someone who is suffering are rare skills indeed.
I can't quite decide who to agree with in this little NLP debate. I agree with Froylein that things should stand up to rigorous scientific testing … and that if they don't … they shouldn't be passed of as scientific. However, we don't know shit about our brains {we meaning ALL of us … neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, optometrists whatever … we are all ignorant}. We've learned so much recently … just enough to know that basically WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING.
My {wild} guess is that to the extent NLP is effective as a therapy tool … it correlates directly with the genuineness and "good soul" status of the practitioner. Talking with someone who is kind, caring, and patient is always helpful … no matter the form. I've been watching Duff for a long time on Twitter … he's seems like just that kind of guy to me.
Kilstein FAILED as a therapist {multiple times} … not because of any flaws in NLP {or whatever he used} but because he is a RAVING BASTARD full up on darkness. Were the technique proven effective … he still would have failed.
I'd say before the Not-Doctor spends any additional time learning the ways of cognitive psychology :: He should spend a year studying remedial English at his local community college {assuming they would accept his dumb ass}.
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Kilstein's English is atrocious. If he made as much money as he claims he does, he should consider investing in a proofreader.
[Reply]
Rodney Reply:
October 14th, 2009 at 11:57 pm
I’m not saying I like Kilstein or don’t like him. However, as a copywriter I don’t care too much about spelling (although I fix typos when I or others find them) but I do use bad grammar sometimes if it sounds better or is more persuasive than saying something in a way that’s grammatically correct.
IMHO the focus of anyone’s criticism of Kilstein should be on whether or not his promotional methods are ethical and whether or not his products really do what they say they do.
[Reply]
Webster Reply:
October 15th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Actually, grammar and spelling can be very important, depending on your target market. If you’re selling to (even minimally) educated buyers, they do notice and are sensitive to glaring grammatical and spelling errors. In fact, that’s a put off for that crowd, because they see it as sloppiness or a lack of attention to detail…and they may think that will carry over into the transaction itself. First impressions DO matter.
As far as what Harlan Kilstein offers…I would say it is nothing more than what you can learn at no cost whatsoever by spending some time on the internet. There are far better ways to get rid of money.
[Reply]
If anything I'd say Froylein is obviously terrible at NLP. NLP is sometimes described as excellence in communication. Misspellings, incorrect words, hype and high-pressure sales have nothing whatsoever to do with excellent communication, according to my criteria at least.
And yes, I agree that NLP is effective to the extent that the practitioner is genuine and a good soul. And yes, many shady characters are attracted to NLP in my opinion precisely because it is full of powerful techniques. Like many a magician in stories of long past mythological ages, the temptation to go to the dark side is powerful indeed (but ultimately stupid and obvious).
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 6:40 am
As a technique highly depending on suggestive dialectics, NLP pretty obviously has got a lot to do with the right choice of words. Clearliness of the written / spoken word (semantically, syntactically and in punctuation) should therefore be a minimum requirement. Anyone who uses language as slovenly as Kilstein cannot possibly excel at dialectics – whether in NLP or copywriting or authoring books.
[Reply]
Duff McDuffee Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Exactly. You, on the other hand, would make an excellent NLP practitioner. :)
Be well,
~Duff
[Reply]
froylein Reply:
July 12th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Flattery doesn't work with me, but I accept bribes starting at four million Euros in used, non-marked banknotes.
[Reply]
SaltyDroid Reply:
July 13th, 2009 at 6:34 am
For the record :: I can be bribed for far cheaper … call me!
[Reply]
karinhiebert Reply:
July 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
For the record, I don't believe in String Theory! ; )
Flattery works for me, and NO BRIBE, will ever make me reveal anything~ INCLUDING my knowledge of info as to who the Droid is!
( OR what I know about him and WHY I have "anything to do with him!" )
So stop asking. Stop fishing, Stop harassing and threatening me…
You WONT "Ruin" ME!
If I were you…I would be more concerned about OUR finding out who YOU are…& who, and WHY you hang with THEM!
*This reply is off topic of comments and blog post…I know…
Just ranting- getting warmed up for a post I will be sharing with Salty…
{ I THINK he will LIKE it! }
he is consistently supportive…and soooo appreciative!
Coming Soon, Watch for it!
Oh, one more thing…YOU can't RUIN me!!!
Keep guessing, assuming, and pointing fingers.
froylein Reply:
July 13th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Karin, verstehen Sie Deutsch?
karinhiebert Reply:
July 14th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
yes, understand it fluently.
Can read and comprehend most all of it, speaking and writing in German is difficult…
Fascinating little debate here. Got to go with Duff. Yes some of NLP is garbage- but some of the stuff just works. I was the biggest skeptic around and started studying NLP wih an eye to disproving it.
It just works. I personally see no reason not to use something that can make my life better because it does not stand up to the Scientific Method. Lifes too short for that.
Good Luck
[Reply]
[...] Make-up testimonials and publish them on commercial pages in violation of the law {link}. Why not? Fraud is so much easier than not-fraud :: Remember [...]
[...] Kilstein has zero problem with faking testimonials. He fakes them on his own sales sites {link} :: And he’ll fake them for others if he has a financial interest {link} … or was it [...]
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