Still Sinking & Stinking

... sinking not sunk

The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.

Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.

Per the usual :: the irony is perfect without further exposition or explanation …


 

Company Logo

Hello Friend,

You probably remember the fanfare and hoopla when StomperNet first launched way back in October of 2006. Well, a lot has changed since then, but even after 5 hard years we’re still the biggest and baddest SEO and online business training company in the world!

You already knew that though.

So how did we surprise everyone? Let me count the ways…

1) We are still here and growing stronger than EVER!

Not only are we still here but in 2011 we are proud to say we paid off almost 60% of our old debts. Now, I know what you’re thinking. There are many naysayers who said three years ago that “StomperNet is a sinking ship“. Then they repeated that forecast two years ago. And yes we heard that tune playing again last year. Heck, somebody will probably say it this year too! But the way we see it sinking ships don’t work hard to pay off old debts. Maybe that’s how THEY would handle business – but not StomperNet.

Sidenote: Isn’t it funny how people like to play the same old song without keeping up with accurate information? We think so. We’re still here and we plan to be for a long time to come.

2) …


Blah blah blah :: 2 – 7 … don’t care.

Hooray we did it!  We’re almost more than half solvent! Fuck the haterz!

Signed :: Lee Collins … Managing Director.

PS  I iz profeshunal :: I wear black nail polish for coolness like teenage goth girls … I can haz u monies now?

>> bleep bloop

49 thoughts on “Still Sinking & Stinking”

    1. @Shit Storm, oddly enough they don’t seem to put any of that effort into their actual appearance! The ladies all need bras and the gentlemen all need haircuts. Yikes!

    2. @Shit Storm,

      Whenever I read stuff on StomperNet I just have to ask myself …

      “Was I drunk the entire time?!?!?”


  1. “But the way we see it sinking ships don’t work hard to pay off old debts.”

    Exactly. Stompernot’s stiffed affiliates and vendors can surely attest to that sinking ship not working particularly hard to pay off old debts. The S.S. Lietanic IS going down.

  2. Every time there’s a new addition to the StomperNet Letters…I have to go back and read the previous ones again. It’s like my brain can’t accept how unbelievably stupid they are.

  3. Wow, that’s a really bad letter…from a marketing perspective, from a writing perspective, and from a reality perspective.

    The sad part is that Lee obviously thinks that it’s a great letter — the work of a true marketing professional that the masses yearn to learn from. It’s like a kid who can’t sing or dance, but whose parents have told her that she’s amazing so she really, really believes she’s amazing. She believes it so much, she sings in public one day. And it’s uncomfortable, awkward, and ultimately just sad.

  4. Does anybody have the funny videos where the original Stompernet Faculty look into the camera lieingly stating about they’re leaving so they can take care of their main businesses?

  5. Ha Salty,

    IM bashing combined with a lame-ass-cruise-party-tragic-video: my two favorite things!

    Nothing says “sucksess” like black nail polish — I know, I learned this from Mystery (another brilliant guru and Canadian relationship expert)

    my day is now complete, thank you!

  6. lol StomperNet … “the world’s largest online business, SEO and marketing training company.”

    You know it’s legit when company CEO Brad Fallon brags about being the “Coolest Guy” … of butt-suck.

    Proof your sinking ship has sailed = when your ex-co-founder has left to become a Video Boss.

    Ah, the SEO “industry” …

    1. @Doctor Mario, I used to think to try to understand what the MLM-people meant about “people in our industry”, but now that I found out about IM “industry”, SEO “industry” and the Utah “industry” state it starts to make sense finally.

      I guess they can pick Free Dictionary #6 definition:

      “in·dus·try (nd-str)
      n. pl. in·dus·tries
      1. Commercial production and sale of goods.
      2. A specific branch of manufacture and trade: the textile industry. See Synonyms at business.
      3. The sector of an economy made up of manufacturing enterprises: government regulation of industry.
      4. Industrial management.
      5. Energetic devotion to a task or an endeavor; diligence: demonstrated great intelligence and industry as a prosecutor.
      6. Ongoing work or study associated with a specified subject or figure: the Civil War industry; the Hemingway industry.
      7. Archaeology
      a. A collection of artifacts or tools made from a specified material: a Mesolithic bone industry.
      b. A standardized tradition of toolmaking associated with a specified tool or culture: a stone hand-ax industry; the Acheulian industry.”

      Right before “7. Archaelogy” for the archaelogists which maybe can be hopefully soon the only people left on studying these “industries”.

  7. I love the Screwtape Letters! I have it as an audio book read by John Cleese. I listen to it for the morality stuff and just sort of semi-ignore its specifically Christian-y aspect. I realize that, that statement might not sit to well with some people. Sorry about that. It is what it is.

    But to the point:

    You probably remember the fanfare and hoopla when StomperNet first launched way back in October of 2006. Well, a lot has changed since then, but even after 5 hard years we’re still the biggest and baddest SEO and online business training company in the world!

    This reminds me of the narrative people often told about Apple pre-iPod–how it started big, but then it struggled. Year after year, folks would predict the company’s demise, but somehow it would persevere.

    The difference of course is that through it all Apple was a real company producing a physical product.

    I’m given to understand that much of SEO is just smoke and mirrors with like maybe 10-to-5% actual Optimizing of Search Engine rankings in there somewhere.

    So… the statement that StomperNet has had “5 hard years” seems to directly contradict the assertion that they’re “still the biggest and baddest SEO and online business training company in the world”

    It just doesn’t make any sense. Unless it’s all just a big blob of hot air. In which case it makes sense, but is totally meaningless.

    Basically, at this point, I guess StomperNet is nothing more than Name Brand Spam.

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    1. @Wyrd, Put another (more appropriate) way, they have 5 years of creditor avoidance under their belts. That’s not something to brag about in the sunlight, but it might score some points in the big house.


  8. “In which case it makes sense, but is totally meaningless.”

    Now THAT’s a good challenge for the Natural Language Generation people. Awesomeness. :-)

    1. @Jack,

      Yeah, that sentence did come out kind of rough. I like it anyway though, although I’m not quite sure why.

      When I write “it makes sense” I mean something like: “seems to be logically correct” When I write “is totally meaningless” I mean something like “has no actual substance or net quantity/value”.

      Kinda like an elaborate trigonometric expression that evaluates to 0.
      E.g.

      sin x / csc x + (cos x)^3 * sec x + cos(Pi) + i*sin(Pi)


      Furry cows moo and decompress.

  9. Could Mr. Clifford Bradley Fallon have something worse to worry about?

    Maybe.

    Anybody know the outcome of Bradley’s lawsuit against his wife over their divorce? The one where he claimed in court filings that she had been “holding onto” some of his assets in her name, because of his previous bad credit issues, and now he “wants those assets back?”

    Specifically: someone previously commented here that Brad had filed for bankruptcy, and he may have made no declaration about his now-claimed private agreement where he was to own some equity in his wife’s business (which is the only business that ended up worth anything).

    The implication…

    “Here, you hold my valuables while I claim to be broke, then give them back after my creditors take a bath.” Sounds like potential bankruptcy fraud, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t that be a federal crime?

    Look up the lawsuit PDF SD posted here on this blog and read Brad’s business equity claims against his wife. If his bankruptcy took place in that same timeline during which he says she was privately “holding equity” to be transferred to him at a later date, it could be…

    … UH-OH …

    How dumb would you have to be to sue someone using a sworn affidavit that says you had concealed assets at a time when you also claimed (under penalty of perjury) to be insolvent?

    Maybe you’d have to be Stomper-Dumb(tm).

  10. Just a quick and important message, fuck stain–

    drain my nutsuck, man meat swallowing fudge packer.

    That is all. Now you may return to having balls slapping your chin at the glory hole, salty.

    1. @?????, So eloquently stated. Your command of the English language will be useful when they put you behind bars, as will your intimate knowledge of prison sexuality.

    2. @?????, Well, perhaps Stompernet “customer service” is typing out comments while standing on their desks, as the water level rises above their assholes. Bon voyage!

  11. they really think they are cool , you can tell these are the kids nobody talked to in high school…the so UNpopular ones

    1. @Anonymous, Maybe last time they talked to somebody was elementary school, because I think the music in the background sounds like something from a children’s dance party.

  12. Wow Salty you’re pretty desperate for new information on these guys and the IM industry. You’re reaching and telling the same story to the same lazy crowd who would rather bitch that do anything about it. I guess you’ll always be a loser!

    1. @Mike, If Salty such a loser, and we’re such a bunch of lazy whiners, what does that make you, hanging around here? Must be this site is costing you a few sales.

      People like me haven’t been around here too long. I’m grateful for the information. SD and the community here have helped to save my sanity and keep me from financial ruin. I was on the brink of maxing out my credit card for something that has about as much substance as fairy dust.

      Droid and the generous and involved participants here have racked up instance after instance of IM predators ripping buyers off, demonstrating the total disdain and disrespect these scammers have for people naive enough to purchase their frauducts. Mr. Droid even pointed out (thank you SD) that the IM scammers even scam their own affiliates.

      Think your rating shows who the real loser is.

  13. Can you say…Brad has swindled another gullible victim. She sounds like a 19 year old who is all gaga. COO??? Seriously????? An email saying Brad is still working on my title???????? ROFLMAO

    Subject: Just a quick update
    Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2012 09:50:19 -0500
    From: uQast~ Donna Fox

    Reply-To: support@uQast.com

    This is a short and sweet update to the Founding Affiliates.

    I’m Donna Fox. I’ve joined the uQast team in a yet-untitled role. Brad is looking to call me
    something like Chief Operations Officer or Marketing Director.
    I’m holding out for the title Queen of All Things ;)

    But stuffy titles, aside, I’ve become a part of the uQast family to help navigate us through the next
    promotional phase and beyond. Feel free to Google me… but please ignore that I haven’t updated
    my blog in two years. I haven’t had all that much to say and I don’t believe in talking just for the
    sake of being heard. Unless it’s on Facebook.

    I look forward to getting to know you and helping you make the most of your position as a Founding
    Affiliate. And the chance to capitalize on it is coming up very soon!

    A few of you have noticed that it looks like our Charter Member Launch has begun. It’s about to.
    Right now we are testing the sales and order process with segments of our list and making sure
    everything it working smoothly before we open our doors for you to start your affiliate engines!

    We’re going to kick off the Founding Affiliate promo on Monday morning with a 2-day contest.
    Whichever founding affiliate brings in the most sales between Monday morning and midnight,
    eastern time, on Valentine’s Day will win the uQast store uQast.com/valentine!

    Keep watching for some sample email copy over the weekend.

    With Passion,
    Donna Fox
    Marketing Director Queen of All Things

    P.S. Now’s the time to upload that content to your store if you’ve been procrastinating. Our new
    Fast-Start email to Charter Members encourages them to start tipping and ranking already existing
    content providers– and this means you!

    1. @Bliffer Speedunk, Is it her here?:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGUPkgh6XpU

      She told me that according to some sort of “facts” where they told her that 94% of purchase are influenced by women. But then some other kind of facts made by people going under the name “Fleishman-Hillard” told me:

      “Half of women in 2011 said they regularly influence friends and family to buy or not buy a particular product or service, representing a 61% jump from 31% who responded that way in 2008, according to [pdf] a white paper released in January 2012 by Fleishman-Hillard in partnership with Hearst Magazine. Millennials (61%) were the most likely to say they influence their friends and family, followed by Gen X women (46%), Boomers (36%), and Seniors (29%). In fact, a majority in each age group except for Seniors reported feeling it their responsibility to help friends and family make smart purchase decisions, led again by Millennials (73%).”

      Probably it’s that ms. Fox’s research method is better for it though, because I found out that “The Fleishman-Hillard results are based on a 20-minute online survey from Sept. 8-15, 2011, among 1,270 women in the U.S. aged 25-69 with an annual household income of $25,000 or more.”, but the Donna-Fox research maybe came from hanging out with some friends.

    2. @Bliffer Speedunk, I think maybe it’s the non-Brad-Fallon-SEO-optimized link to her song for JVs:
      http://donnalfox.com/blog/?p=65

      Or maybe it’s she’s trying to rank for “?p=65”.

      “Pet Shop Boys “Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)”

      I’ve got the brains, you’ve got the looks
      Let’s make lots of money
      You’ve got the brawn, I’ve got the brains
      Let’s make lots of -”

      Then there’s more for it that you can find at her page about ?p=65.

      1. @jack ::

        Donna Fox :: minion of The Gnome … and BFF / BusinessPartner of Paulie Sabol …

        http://saltydroid.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/The-Paulie-Sabol-Network.jpg

        … professional pedophile.

        It’s a fun cross reference because the atrocious Donna Fox was “The Queen” of the marketing cruise to which the above GothTeen Lee Collins hath worn black nail polish. The pictures of her trying her danged hardest to slut it up on that same night haunt me in my sleep … or whatever it is that I do in lieu of sleep.

  14. It’s her at 25″-27″ of Marketers-Cruise video up there? Maybe she gave mr. Collins the idea of the black-nail polish idea as sexY because I found out she teaches some people about when she thinks about seduction:

    1. @Jack, sexy marketing is all about being a buck-toothed, chubby ginger with a limited grasp of the English language. It’s so obvious.

      Also, I’ve actually met Lee. He’s even worse in person. Being a typically non-violent person, it says a lot that every time he opened his mouth I wanted to show off my facepunching talents.

  15. I hear that Brad’s uQast is now sinking and sinking fast, he has not paid his employees in two months.
    While he claims he has no money he is still going on expensive cruises.

      1. @Ray,

        At first BrAndy screwed the Stompernet affiliates and with that money Brad Fallon funded uqast and it then appears that the crowd-funding model or should I say screwing the founding affiliates was not really a sustainable model after all, more like a Ponzi scheme if you asked me, but as they say you can screw all of the people some of the time, you can screw some of the people some of the time, but you can never screw all of the people all of the time, but then again this world is full of fools.

  16. What happened to Brad? I thought he owned what was left of Stompernet. And why does he let such a numbnut write Stompernet’s emails.

    Stompernet has turned into Bozos Gone Wild.

    1. @Vern,

      “Stompernet has turned into Bozos Gone Wild.”

      Stompernet was always “Bozos Gone Wild.” Now it’s “Bozos Gone Wilder.”

  17. Brad is still not paying his employees at uqast but now he is shopping around for new employees, this is from linkedin http://www.linkedin.com/jobs?viewJob=&jobId=2860120&srchIndex=2

    President / EVP / COO / Chief Operating O
    uQast – Greater Atlanta Area
    Job Description

    According to Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, the next area to really blow up will be “social commerce.”
    uQast is poised to become the leading platform for socoal commerce, and we’re looking for an additional executive manager. Call it COO, EVP or President, but with the equity involved, we’d prefer to use the word Partner.
    After 3+ years of development and successful beta testing, the platform is ready to launch in a very big way. The site is like YouTube/Pinterest meets Amazon/iTunes meets CommissionJuntion/Clickbank.

    If you’re a highly experienced executive manager, with a good understanding of e-commerce and social media, then this might be the perfect opportunity for you.
    The Founder and CEO is a well known expert/speaker in the Internet marketiong industry, and the CTO is a very experienced, senior team builder, architect and engineer. And the CFO was the #2 finance person at a very large, household name company.

    We are currently seeking a day-to-day operations manager, to round out our management team. This individual would serve as the top executive for day-to-day operations, including finance, marketing, sales, and all administrative functions.
    Desired Skills & Experience

    The ideal candidate will have the following background and characteristics:
    College degree (MBA preferred)
    Significant experience as the chief executive in a fast growth company
    Entrepreneurial experience
    Experience with raising capital from outside institutional investors
    Natural talent for, and signicant experience with, all things related to marketing.
    Working knowledge of Internet marketing, including SEO/SEM, PPC, and affiliate marketing.
    Proficiency and comfort with all types of current Social Media platforms.
    Proven track record of high level business development
    Extensive management experience, including hiring, motivating, and building and maintaining a world class culture
    Excellent communication skills, including media interviews
    Senior management expeirence with software companies
    Company Description

    uQast is new site, poised to become the leading platform for social commerce, and it may be the first significant platform to monetize User Generated Content.
    We’ve already received one patent for our search results algorithm, called ReviewRank, that serves to rank order all types of digital media content, not by the quality of the market or the size of the advertising budget, but by the quality of the content, itself.
    In a nutshell, uQast allows anyone to host digital media to build their audience (like YouTube but for any type of digital media, includng audios, ebooks, powerpoints, ringtones, music, software, etc.), and to sell their digital media products on uQast.com (like Amazon or iTunes) or on their own web sites by merely adding a buy button (like 1shoppingcart).

    At the same time, uQast is a brand new type of affiliate network where affiliates get paid, for the first time, not just for all the product sales they actually refer . . . but for all the purchases made by their referrals from any merchant on the entire site. This feature could be revolutionary in the affiliate marketing industry.

    To learn more, watch the short videos at http://www.uQast.com/learn_more.htm.

    If interested, please reply with a short message and your resume or C.V.
    Additional Information

    Posted:April 13, 2012Type: Full-time Experience: Executive Functions: Management Industries: Internet Compensation:Competitive, Plus EquityJob ID:2860120

  18. As you know, much progress has been made with StomperNet in the past two years: we paid off over $700,000 in StomperNet debt, completely systematized the company, setup an all-new and very responsive HelpDesk and integrated the very popular “done for you” SEO Services into the StomperNet arsenal.

    It is for those reasons and many more that it saddens me to send this email but I’d like to let you know that today I am resigning my position as Managing Director with StomperNet.

    I have enjoyed the challenge of my tenure at StomperNet and I appreciate having had the opportunity to work with you and the StomperNet family. And even though I will miss my colleagues, clients, and the company, I am looking forward to starting a new phase of my life and career.

    Please keep in touch. You can connect with me at Facebook.com/xxxx or by phone,

    I believe the patterns of support and growth will continue as I turn over my position to your very capable Director of Operations, Ryan Taylor. If you have any StomperNet-related questions please contact StomperHelp.com.

    Thanks again. It’s been a real pleasure working with you.

    Best Regards,

    Lee Collins

    1. @Sinking ::

      Noooooooooooooooooooo!

      Why god … why?

      I’ll always remember the good times Lee :: like that time you wore black nail polish on the marketers cruise … I’ll remember that. Prolly some other important stuff too that I can’t think of right now because of you being a fucking nobody that nobody gives a fuck about it.

      To our success.

  19. Stompernet owes me $7,000 still and this guy Lee promised and promised to pay me back, then he accused me of lying and that the guy who promised me to get paid was not there anymore, blah blah blah… I am screwed, and nothing I can do about it

    Brad you suck!

    1. @fucked. You probably have more recourse than you realize. Contact the State Attorney Generals’ offices in both your state and in Georgia. That’s significant money, and you should fight to get it back. Don’t give up.

        1. @SD, Over here in the UK we have lovely things called “winding up orders” which can be served on a debt of that size provided only he can prove there is a genuine unpaid debt unpaid because of lack of funds. He could at least have the pleasure of seeing them “stompered” and on the insolvent winding up, the liquidators would revue the conduct of those running the thing possibly leading to criminal charges! The mere threat of a winding up order, can be enough to get people to pay. Do they exist stateside?

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