Ed Dale is the Underachiever {dot com} :: or if you prefer … he’s the Tubby Nerd. Both of his nom de plumes attempt at conspicuous self-deprecation :: but end up as self-aggrandizement … due to the pathetic condition of Ed Dale’s temporal realities.
“Underachiever” wrongly implies that at least something has been achieved. And while “tubby” is clearly true enough :: being a “nerd” requires more than buying an iPad and using Facebook to rip off a bunch of grannies.
I’m thinking something like UnderTubby would be more accurate :: more descriptive … and more fun.
UnderTubby …

The StomperNet Letters {a fake robot family tradition} are like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are written by evil stinking demons. But they aren’t like The Screwtape Letters :: in that they are non-literary and authored by ignorant fucking idiots.
Sometimes The StomperNet Letters are about Mark Shurtleff and {in vain} sucking up to The Droid. But usually they are about how StomperNet started not paying its bills :: and then never stopped not paying its bills. It’s just like a real business … except for not.
Per the usual :: the …

I hope you enjoyed StomperNet LIVE 11 :: it was the best LIVE event ever! Because it was canceled six days before it was scheduled to happen.
{tears of infinite sadness}
Gosh :: I’m going to miss printing incredibly lame StomperNet emails … it’s like a fake robot family tradition.

Hello ,
We know how much you were looking forward to StomperNet LIVE 11 next week in Phoenix. But regrettably and due to circumstances beyond our control we are canceling StomperNet LIVE 11 and the SEO Pro Bonus Days in Phoenix next week June 21-25, 2011.
We …

Syndicates have a hard time concocting new and original evil plans …

“Plans are for people who don’t have fucking syndicates!”

… says The Syndicate to itself as it sticks to the old plan :: cataclysmic {and ever growing} disruptions to that plan be damned.
The machinations behind the launch of The Video Boss :: as revealed by fake robots :: has served as the most vivid illustration to date of the corrupt and heartless tactics employed by these Syndicate windbags. But that’s not going to keep Andy Jenkins :: and his stinking-of-rot fake surfer …

Mike Koenigs has a Main Street Marketing Machines {Fusion 2.0} that he wants to get you rich with … of course you’ll have to pay him some thousands now … but then later you’ll be totally fucking rich :: and stuffs :: and you’ll say to yourself :: “Self :: great job giving Mike Koenigs all that fucking money … well played.”
Before Main Street Marketing Machines 2.0 Fusion was riching people up :: there was Mike’s multi-thousand dollar value extravaganza :: Social Media Money Machines …
A few months before that …

Fake Robot on trial duty.
Syndicate so happy.
Something must be done.
Solution = Short Shots™
Still fucking mean … but short.
Still fucking damaging … but short {like a gnome}.
The full BrAndy Jenkins StomperNet X audio :: now with 1000% more nauseating panting. It’s a $2,997 perceived value :: yours free just for giving up 30 minutes that you’ll never get back …
BrAndy Bad Breaths
Breaths Bad Brandy
… be sure to return for this Thursday’s Syndicate Short Shot :: under 100 words :: guaranteed widespread pant shitting …
>> bleep bloop

StomperNet is {and always was} failing … weekend edition.
Before Kim and Sandy :: there was Brad and Andy.
They broke up.
The break up was messy :: and full of santorum :: but they put on brave and loving public faces … because they were both in the same French for trade union.
It’s almost 9/9/09 :: Brad is going to relaunch StomperNet because “perpetually declining customer base” turns out to be a nose snortingly bad business strategy. It’s going to be an affiliate launch :: a Syndicate launch :: but StomperNet doesn’t pay affiliates …

Sometimes I write the posts around here :: and sometimes Brad Fallon’s stupid little girlfriend {and StomperNet testimoanializer} Julie Swatek writes the posts …
… and by “sometimes” I mean today :: and then never again …

From: Julie Swatek
Sent: Tuesday, February 22, 2011 2:01 PM
To: StomperNetMod
Subject: [SNMod] Status of Moderator Pay
Hi everyone!
I know you are anxiously awaiting your checks. I wish I could tell you they were on their way. They are not.
Maybe you are aware, maybe you are not, but StomperNet is in trouble. It’s been in turnaround mode for …

Insert Tape 2 …
… discuss {try not to crash the server!}.
>> bleep bloop

Kim and Sandy :: it’s a love for the fucking ages.
What is it that makes them so compatible? What is the seed of their blossom?
They have much in common:

wishing they were taller
love of bouffant hairstyles and androgyny
getting pleasure from the suffering of others
wasting money like empty headed morons
passion for Mickey Mouse / Naruto slash fiction
helping drive people into poverty

But these are but the triflings of the mortal coil :: inadequately voiced.  A love this flamingly eternal could never truly be expressed via sarcastic bullet points :: or super sweet comic …