StomperNet X :: BrAndy’s Revenge

... thar she blows!

StomperNet is {and always was} failing … weekend edition.

Before Kim and Sandy :: there was Brad and Andy.

They broke up.

The break up was messy :: and full of santorum :: but they put on brave and loving public faces … because they were both in the same French for trade union.

It’s almost 9/9/09 :: Brad is going to relaunch StomperNet because “perpetually declining customer base” turns out to be a nose snortingly bad business strategy. It’s going to be an affiliate launch :: a Syndicate launch :: but StomperNet doesn’t pay affiliates … so many are reluctant to promote.

Brad insists to staff and insiders that the relaunch is going to add 5000 new customers :: what with StomperNet’s new “low low rate” of just $200 per month. The idea is laugh out loud highlarious to everyone but Bradley Clifford Fallon … delusional dipshit.

Andy Jenkins recorded a thirty minute audio-consult to try and help steer his X-boyfriend’s launch into successfulness. Brad probably never listened to it :: cause he’s useless :: but you’re about to …

Here :: in seven minutes :: and presented in a far more coherent and logical order than the mouth breathing original :: is Porky Pig’s finest scam-cartel marketing advice …

BrAndy Jenkins Presents :: StomperNet X

Stick that in your stomper pipe and smoke it!

>> bleep bloop

82 thoughts on “StomperNet X :: BrAndy’s Revenge”

  1. How many different ways can we say:

    Andy Junkins is a….

    Fat mouth breathing rich internet scammer?
    Rich mouth breathing fat internet scammer?
    Scammer mouth breathing fat rich internet? uhm, next..
    Internet scammer breathing fat mouth rich? :rolleyes: next…
    Breathing fat rich internet scammer mouth? :no:

    Andy Jenkins is not….rich

    So

    Fat mouth breathing internet scammer?
    Mouth breathing fat internet scammer?

      1. @Donk ::

        Cash flow and wealth aren’t the same thing :: I guess they don’t teach that at NYU.

        Bad things can happen to cash flow … {IndianAccent} very bad things indeed {/IndianAccent}.

      2. @Donk,

        That’s why I said

        Andy Jenkins is not…rich

        and therefore:

        “Fat mouth breathing internet scammer?
        Mouth breathing fat internet scammer?”

    1. @Fake Blogger, I was just checking my Syndicate calender and you don’t seem to have a slot logged. So I am afraid you are fucked.

      1. @Donk,

        These guys are stupid enough to create an actual calendar that shows they are in cahoots…how fucking dumb are they?

        rhetorical question but answer if you feel the need

        1. @Shit Storm ::

          Not only do they have such a calendar … but they actually call it the “The Syndicate Calendar” … it’s on the fucking header.

          1. @SD,

            talk about creating a ‘beyond a shadow of a doubt’ evidence trail

            We’re going to have to hire a photographer to be at the perp walk…or at least create one with photshop

            1. @Shit Storm,

              I am going to NYC in april,
              maybe i can fuck shit up at mike
              the underpants gnome fiksanes office…

              any suggestions??

  2. @ Donk,

    That’s impossible.

    You see, I put MMS in the subject line.
    Done deal according to AJ.

    C’mon dude get with the program….

    1. @Fake Blogger, I swear to god, it is just so fucking comical. It really is a three stooges sort of thing they have going on. I mean can’t ya just see Ole Frank, Andy and Cousin Trey standing there slapping each other, and and eye poking and shit. Geezus… And then add in the manner in which these fools throw money at these guys. It’s a mindless sitcom just waiting to happen.

      Perp walk? Yeah I gotta be there for that one.

  3. Salty, as usual, and exquisitely awesome score!

    To the extent you can arrange for the full 30 minute audio to be posted, that would be great… I like your edited version, but it’s often fun to listen to all the other stuff, too! :-)

    Thank you so much for everything you do!

    1. @Alejandro ::

      There are a few other choice moments … and lots more gurgling and lisping.

      I will put up the whole thing … a little laters.

  4. It was a good audio lesson I learned much about life, truth, & money from.

    Here’s a True/False quiz I made from the Andy-Audio (I went ahead and put the answers in, because I think Andy would have wanted us to cheat):

    Andy Jenkins True/False Quiz Test Results:

    “Nobody gives a shit about StomperNet” – True!
    “What you are giving away is shit” – True!
    “StomperNet’s value is just a totally made up thing” – True!
    “People don’t think you’re cool” – True!
    “You don’t have standard credit card” True (probably anyhow)
    “People smell scam” – True!
    “Stomper must be on tough times” – perpetually TRUE!
    “We need to get to work on helping our people” – True (but impossible)

    “I have to be perfectly honest” – NOT True…
    http://saltydroid.info/syndicate-scarcity/

    Andy’s Best StomperSCAM advice:

    1. Put fake values on things (technically known as “value things”)
    2. Give a fake reason to pull Stomper off the market
    3. Do a fake damaging admission (we can’t keep up with our current customers)
    Use a fake takeaway play (what we’d like to do is NOT take on any more people right now)
    4. Add an “X” in the product name.
    5. Make sure the bonus is “insane”.
    6. The roman numeral X makes things relevant.
    7. It’s a “business in a box” (don’t forget to file your bizop registrations!)
    8. It’s your one-stop shop for everything you need to make money online (so make sure you ignore any recommendations we have for other products since you don’t need them).
    9. You MUST use the Syndicate (even though you’re a one-stop shop that has everything you need to make money online)
    10. Ask the Syndicate to mail shit.
    11. MMS = Mail My Shit (shouldn’t it be MMSX to make the request more relevant though?)

    Adding “X” –> It works! Look how cool, intriguing, valuable, and relevant we all can become:

    208-577-6210X
    AlejandroX
    AnonymousBastardX
    AnonymousX
    BullshitDetectorX
    CatBumX
    CircleJerkOutsiderX
    CosmicConnieX
    DaveX
    DuffX
    EdDaleScamX
    FakeBloggerX
    JackX
    JimmyRayX
    MartyPantsX
    MazeManX
    SamTheShrubbistX
    ShitStormX
    UnicornArmyX
    _cartman_X

    And last but definitely not least…

    SaltyDroidX!

    Also I think I heard Andy tell Brad to “bring out the content from the Coneheads” (at firt I thought he was talking about Mike *Koenigs*, but I’m pretty sure he said the Coneheads…I listened to it a few times).

    1. @Jack,

      I feel special that I made your list…would you like to join my syndicate

      I’m planning to take over the candle making niche…want in?

      It was either candle making or the making quilts from ties niche…

      1. @Shit Storm,

        Brilliant idea!I would try to join your syndicate…unfortunately I did not receive an “X” from Jack so I don’t think I meet the requirements.

        1. @what??, I think Andy said we can just make things up, so anybody can add their own X’s…it’s fun AND easy:

          what??X

          You’re in-X!

          1. @Jack,

            Thanks! I had just assumed there was a limited supply of relevancy and you had fake sold-out of X’s.

        1. @SD,

          Ya well you don’t want StomperNetX in there either but fuck if you don’t got em.

          I’m just thinking that ole Enron could prolly take over the world if they added an X and it could cost you $5,000,000 for the electricity you use with your computer just for the time it takes you to make one post.

          That would be X-treme.. ohhh hell ya next revision StomperNet.XTreme

          wonder if we can get that “dot name” added

          SaltyDroid.XTreme it’s got a ring to it, right?

    2. @Jack,

      If it’s ok with you, can I put my X before Ray so it reads
      Jimmy X Ray? Thatd be soo coolz.

      Has anyone seen Cuzn Trey’s last frauduct btw?
      He went out and got some shit Iphone game made, just to develop a bullshit frauduct around, and is selling it for over the sindickate’d $1997.00 fee.

      Wow! They’re really getting creative now, what with a $500.00 increase for even worse products. Innerestin.

  5. “Our audience…75% Of them…have been doin’ it for 2 years and make less than a thousand dollars a month…they have no idea…”

    Wow. TWO YEARS and less than $1,000 a month? SEVENTY-FIVE-PERCENT of them?

    Convenience store clerks get training for FREE and can easily earn more than that!

    1. @Bullshit Detector ::

      I wonder if the “less than $1,000 a month” is before or after the more than $800 per month it cost to be a part of StomperNet’s magically failing miracle ship?

      Or do I?

  6. Hmm. Tried to post a little summary of vid – but I think their were too many cool roman numerals in it maybe as it won’t go thru.

    1. @Jack ::

      I think you’re right. Not to be prejudiced against super awesome and relevant roman numeral tens … but comments that contain more than VI of them do trend towards spam.

  7. Brad, if your listening, I think Andy is trying to say in his best Silvester “Puddy” cat voice…

    “forget the nasty break-up, forget the harsh words. I’d really love to get together, hoodwink a few people into believing I’m a fucking genius, bad-mouth them in forums, the whole time draining their bank accounts dry… oh sure I can’t sell shit to a manure factory, but I’m giving you my marketing advice free… only if you will Please, Please take me back… I can’t live in Kern’s garage forever!”

    1. @Chris, i mean, holy crap, i swear that Blandy Junkins was a cartoon voice “actor” in his past life. Silvester, Porky Pig, heck, Daffy Duck, anybody who spits a lot.

  8. You know, on Stomping The Search Engines Brad and Andy were so on their game; confident, sophisticated. They seemed to understand traffic and conversion on a high level.

    What happened?

    Here they are and it’s like … Laurel and Hardy. Andy actually quoting “WIIFM” to Brad. Oh dear …

    1. @Vern, oh vern, dear naive vern…

      There was nothing “sophisticated” about StomperNet…. other than the way they were able to drain people back accounts

      the whole thing was based on Brad getting to #1 on Google by use of a practice, called “Google Bombing”. hardly a “sophisticated” technique and one I don’t suggest you use if you want to remain in the serps

      1. @Chris, oh chris, dear chris.

        I’m not talking about Stompernet, I’m talking about Stomping The Search Engines, the CD course they put out in 2004 which was rather good and I made a lot of money from following their advice.

        On these CD’s they both demonstrated a command of SEO ‘and’ the elements of sales and conversion. It seemed effortless, for both of them.

        To spell it out, it’s a case of “oh, how the mighty have fallen”.

        I signed up for Stompernet and cancelled after the first month. $800 was way too much to pay each month while they tried to figure out what they were doing, plus I could never figure out what they were trying to teach me that I didn’t already know from STSE’s.

        I thought the (first) Stompernet launch was stupid and almost made me not buy. The only reason I went ahead was the credibility they had with me from STSE’s.

        They definitely knew their stuff back then (2004). They seem like completely different people today. Especially Brad.

        Still having trouble reconciling the Boy Wonder image Brad happily nurtured for many years, and the total sleazebag revealed in Salty’s reporting.

        1. @Vern,

          Brad has been a borderline sociopath since way before Stomping the search engines, apprentice I and II… way back when he was doing the DUI lawyer thing, he was still more interested in lining his pocket, and didn’t care who got hurt along the way. the ah-sucks golden boy persona, was just that, a persona.. he hasn’t changed.

          Everything Brad and Andy “pretended” to know about conversion and website design came straight from the mouth of Ken Giddens… but as far as I know Mr. Giddens never created a “product”, which is too bad… i doubt Giddens would have charged $800 a month. Even though Ken Giddens had a razor sharp tongue, he was generous with his knowledge

        2. @Vern ::

          1. They are smart guys. Not that smart … but above average.

          2. You saw them reading from a script … even when they weren’t. They were sticking to this talking point formula :: which was being echoed by thousands of others over a wide area. It’s very convincing … but it’s still much ado about nothing.

          Sarah Palin could go on a conservative speaking tour :: getting $100K per gig :: and read old William F. Buckley speeches word for word. Then people would be all like :: “she’s just so gosh darned sophisticated … watch out socialists hear comes our she-genius!” :: but no … she’d still be just a dumb dumb dummy … and WFB would still be dead.

          Your character is defined by the actions you take when you think people aren’t looking. Defined like that :: Brad and Andy have been vile rubbish since moment one.

    1. @Kevin ::

      Well …

      … you could have gotten it right here …

      httpee://andyjenkinsblogmedia.s3.amazonaws.com/StomperX.mp3

      But that opportunity expired approx 45 minutes after I pressed publish on this little gem …

      http://saltydroid.info/syndicate-shit-storm/

      … so now you’ll just have to wait for me to release it at my discretion … cause I don’t publish my secrets to the open webz.

      1. @SD, why would he ever leave this on his S3?? I mean that’s really a rhetorical question; I just can’t understand why that would ever cross anyone’s mind. Guess I could say the same about the hair cut, though.

        1. @Anon, can you tell what hair cut?

          I am quite unfamiliar with this…

          And am also intrigued on how these private
          stuff got leaked.

          Why don’t they just send the file to each other
          via email? Putting it on S3 is insane and stupid.

  9. Very interesting. I don’t know where you get these recordings but it always feels like the Watergate on this blog! Awesome!

    I have a question for the Droid… and perhaps this may sounds weird but… what do you think of Brendon Burchard Experts Academy? Do you have feedback on this?

    Do anybody here had tried this guy’s product? Is it any good? Or should I stay away? (if so, please explain why… not just rants, facts please)

    thanks everyone,


    1. @Wide Eyed, I have not attended Brendon’s Experts Academy but I do have all the materials from it, thanks to a friend who did go and it’s good stuff.

      I did attend, in person, his Partnership Seminar – the one on getting sponsorship for your product, service or event and I can tell you that he really delivers. Now that I’m more in tune with the sponsorship world, I can see where he got a lot of his info and ideas but he is brilliant at synthesizing, packaging, and explaining these concepts and approaches.

      Is he a bit of a money grubber and does he sometimes do things in a similar fashion to many people who’ve been the subject of SD’s posts? Yes. But I can clearly see how he’s distanced himself from that crowd while at the same time not alienating them. I feel that basically he is a man of integrity and spells things out for you in a very practical way that you can apply right away.

      I paid $3,000 for that Partnership Seminar and it ended up paying me back almost 10x that, no joke. Just like most anything else, though, it’s what you put into practice and actually take action on. I watch and listen to most of the stuff Brendon puts out there for free and I feel that it’s always loaded with value, whether you buy his stuff or not.

      I can’t speak for any of the other “Guru”‘s products.

      1. @Anon, Spoken like a true shill-meme/failfail. Here’s a hint – lift the veil if you want to be taken seriously, troll. Saying a $3k frauduct is worth anything at all better have a return email on it – minimum. Unless, of course, you’re full of shit…in which case simply keep on setting yourself up with awesome “q” comments, just waiting for another unbiased “a.”

        I can speak for this shit anonymously too, having never seen it…$3000 is sucker money, paid by suckers. You defending it, means you are either the provider or one of the minions believing in trickle-down daydreams – either way, speaking out of your ass, perhaps hoping the echoes make it sound important.

        Fuck Brendan Burchard, and fuck you too…assuming we’re not already doing that all at once here anyway.

      2. @Anon ::

        “I paid $3,000 for that Partnership Seminar and it ended up paying me back almost 10x that, no joke.”

        We can tell it’s not a joke … it’s not the truth either. Link to your suckcess … or shut the fuck up about it. That’s the 50th time I’ve said that … as yet no takers on backing up their bullshit with links.

        “But I can clearly see how he’s distanced himself from that crowd while at the same time not alienating them.”

        You can’t “clearly see” anything … obviously.

        @Wide Eyed ::

        Brendon is crap. Period. He is exactly what everyone else on this blog is … aka NOTHING.

        He’s already featured here … via his BFF Mike Koenigs …

        Here …

        http://saltydroid.info/mike-koenigs-presents-mike-koenigs/

        and here …

        http://saltydroid.info/paid-for-life/

        He’s getting flushed down along with all the other toilet water.

        @anon II

        Agreed … fucking ‘q’ and ‘a’ shill.

        1. @SD and @anon II, I was just answering the guy’s question with the truth. I never said I bought a product, I said I attended his seminar (not the Paid For Life thing), something neither of you did I’m sure, so how can you say I’m full of shit? I may not want to disclose who I am at this point but why does that invalidate everything I say? Talk about lack of facts – you got something that actually proves what he teaches is crap? If so, cough it up otherwise you’re the one talking out of your ass. Wide Eyed was asking for FACTS “not just rants”.

          @Wide Eyed: Like I said, the Partnership Seminar delivered value – to ME – and provided me insights and ideas and a template of sorts, which I tweaked and molded and improved on to build my own successes. Was it worth $3,000? Knowing what I know now, probably not. In fact, had I known about it sooner, I would have surely gone to Chicago for IEG’s conference on sponsorship instead. But was it the start/spark that got me to where I needed to be to take it to the next level? Absolutely. The guy who attended Experts Academy (the one who gave me all the copies of the stuff) isn’t doing shit with it but I’ve already taken some of those ideas and started tweaking them to better fit my personality, goals, etc. Why not just go to his website and see if the stuff he offers for free can work for you?

          SD and anon II, you’re the ones blasting him so the burden of proof is on YOU to show the world what a scumbag you believe him to be.

          1. @Anon ::

            “SD and anon II, you’re the ones blasting him so the burden of proof is on YOU to show the world what a scumbag you believe him to be.”

            Nope. The burden is on you … nobody … to convince me that he’s not a part of what I know he’s a part of. And you can’t … because you can’t.

            And if you don’t prove your success .. then you didn’t have any. Go away.

            1. @SD, you are so right, thanks for setting me straight by seeing right through my foolish charade.

            2. @SD,

              Hummm, should I thank you for this feedback?

              “You can’t “clearly see” anything … obviously.”

              Am I seeing the limits of the processing power of the Droid?

              I discovered your blog this winter, and thought your expose on Frank Kern’s and all (the syndicate) was very illuminating. It was really well covered. And since then you have bring many interesting stories.

              You see, I’m your audience. Not the enemy.

              For the fist time, I dare to participate in the conversation. I ask a simple question… and it seems you presuppose I’m a shill

              “Agreed … fucking ‘q’ and ‘a’ shill.” as you write it.

              This is very twisted because I read your blog to be informed.

              When you answer “Brendon is crap. Period.” you need to do a better job. You’re being a lazy Droid. Bring in some facts (I read the links you posted but there’s not any article specific enough).

              I know you’re not a professional journalist – but if you don’t have real feedback yet, just say so and comeback when you have something juicy and real.

              I’m asking for information.

              Work harder! Don’t call me a shill. Work harder!

              Also, when you posted a crazy picture of Eben Pagan at Burning Man – it was fun. But when I read the nasty comments mocking his wife. That just sounds very low-bro.
              Things like, “Fugly = fucking ugly. Tell me she ain’t FUGLY” reflects very poorly on the Droid’s community.

              We’re far from the ideals you claim to defend.

              I think you have touched an interesting chord by exposing the dark side of the guru industry. But if you want to take your shtick to the next level, you’ll have to grow up and face your own darkness…

              What I mean by that is this… grow into a serious, reliable source of information. Have the guts to take yourself seriously. Keep working harder!!!! Investigate in-depth and report!!!!

              Or just call me a shill.

              Your choice. Bleep.

              Again I asked for factual information.

            3. @Wide Eyed ::

              1. First time commenters always get a ration of shit :: especially when they ask about a d-bag … and then someone with a conveniently co-located IP answers the question in glowing affirmatives.

              2. Other people’s mean Internet comments are not my responsibility … and reflect on me in no way.

              3. I don’t write posts on demand. You want my opinion about Burchard? Fine … I gave it … he sucks. I know what I’m talking about {a proposition for which there is plenty of support}. You want “evidence” that I know what I know … you’ll have to go find it yourself {easy!} … or wait until Burchard appears here when I think it’s a good time … and have time.

              Good day sir!

        1. @Juice, Gary is actually all right. He was involved with the wrong people, but if he would have been able to do everything he wanted, things would have probably went different.

          1. @You, I’m sure he’s an absolute saint… do they give out Nobel prizes for “best gangster lawyer?”

  10. sounds like a charlie sheen rant… without the hot & cold running hookers and suitcases of blow.

  11. Salty,

    I’m 100% in support of what you are doing here and I may soon be in the position to do the same with a major dirt bag in my own niche. Let’s just say he’s pissed off one too many associates who are smarting to give him some pay back.

    My question: is there any sound argument that what you are doing is some kind of actionable wrong/tort? Like invasion of privacy? Or interference with contractual advantage or economic advantage?

    Please get that I am on your side and not arguing for the dirt bags and I know you are a smart attorney who carefully considers all the angles. I’m asking if they would have ANY case at all here because I have to weigh the risks in exposing what I have just gotten on a major piece of shit.

    RJ

    1. @Ross Jeffries, I think the basic MO is to bring sunshine to what bad actors would prefer to stay hidden. Keep providing exposure to shady practices and let the bad actors hang themselves.

      Seems to work.

    2. @Ross Jeffries ::

      Do you think I would be making mistakes on purpose?

      If I’m doing it … then I’m sure I can be doing it.

      The caveats being …

      — I’m much scarier than you

      — I would never say something like you just said because it shows weakness

      — I’m not talking about my competitors

      Still :: if you’re worried just form a non-profit shell company for your criticism blog. If someone sues it … you can fold it if you have to.

      That’s badass advice NOT legal advice.

      … now fuck off.

        1. @Ross Jeffries, Ha. I was thinking the same thing. If you are asking how to do it, then you don’t have the teeth to get it done. The droid calls you out as weak and you thank him. Now you really look week.

  12. Hey Droid, well done. I am not sure if you know or not, but AJ is releasing the second version of the video boss soon, should provide more content for your blog :-)

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