I’m on vacation … so let’s just read some of my March emails together shall we? I think it will be fun because I won’t have to do very much work {I already wrote March’s emails} :: and you’ll think it’s fun because you’re easily amused like a methed-up gerbil.

BlogWorldExpo –

Jason,
My name is Shane and I’m the conference director for BlogWorld and New Media Expo. I wanted to reach out to see if you would be interested or would consider doing a keynote presentation at one of our shows.
We …

Remember that time when I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch?
Boom!
Pow!
Smack!
Slam!
Whamo!
Okay :: yeah … it’s happened a lot. I like to do things that are easy :: it makes me feel good about myself … like pictures in ridiculous hats.

{start over}
Remember all those times I pwned Mike Koenigs like a balding little bitch {BLB}?
You fucking better … we were just talking about it. Why can’t you remember important shit that we were just talking about? You were never like that before.  Are you taking those danged dirty drugs? …

Dean Graziosi named his recent frauduct flop Rock Bottom :: and gave it an “it’s all downhill from here suckers” logo. It would be funny if it was intended to be ironical :: but comic irony is so clearly out of Scammy Smurf’s intellectual range … so it’s just an example of massive stupidity and terrible marketing.
Still :: after a slow start {and middle} Dean managed to “sell-out” of rock bottoms {emphasis original}…

“I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about how many people are jumping in with the Rock Bottom Blueprint, but …

Not being an ass :: but Dean Graziosi sells better on camera than pretty much anyone on the planet right now … says asshole Dean Graziosi about himself … the loathsome and pathetic Dean Graziosi.
Better than anyone on the whole fucking planet! That’s how epic Dean is at the on camera selling. Planetary epic! If he does say so himself … not to be immodest or anything … but he’s the fucking best.
Sometimes though :: like maybe once in awhile :: or always :: he needs to use a couple boiler rooms …

Dean Graziosi thinks anytime is a good time to sell you on the idea that now is the right time to make an unjustifiable fortune flipping real estate. It’s a great opportunity for stay-at-home moms and people on disability to get out there and take action … I guess.
You know what they say about real estate … it only goes up. Or at least that’s what Goldman Sachs says while they’re selling you a real estate based derivative that they’re betting against behind your back. Suck it pensioners :: that’s what you get for not …

Two lawyers walk into a bar ::
Lawyer 1:  Let’s call The Salty Droid and –
Lawyer 2: Thanks for the beer, see you around {sound of saloon door swinging on its hinges}.
Lawyers :: you see :: have an aversion to fake robots … and risks … and technologies more complicated than blackberries {the fruit} … and things that can’t be classified into check-box forms and filed alphabetically.
So when lawyers do call in on the fake robot hotline :: they’re wanting favors not troubles :: and they usually start off just like …

James Malinchak isn’t a scammer :: according to a big fat pile of crap sites James Malinchak built to tell people/google about how he isn’t a scammer. I’d link to one :: but for some reason the things I link to tend to disappear.
Speaking of making things disappear :: what an odd request this is for a person so committed to burying his negative search results …

From: James Malinchak JV <MSecretsJV@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 12:38 PM
Subject: (Millionaire Secrets JV) Critical Info For Payout/Final Wrap-up

The Millionaire Secrets promotion was an
absolute blast, and we truly appreciate
all of …

Mike Koenigs has a Main Street Marketing Machines {Fusion 2.0} that he wants to get you rich with … of course you’ll have to pay him some thousands now … but then later you’ll be totally fucking rich :: and stuffs :: and you’ll say to yourself :: “Self :: great job giving Mike Koenigs all that fucking money … well played.”
Before Main Street Marketing Machines 2.0 Fusion was riching people up :: there was Mike’s multi-thousand dollar value extravaganza :: Social Media Money Machines …
A few months before that …

StomperNet is {and always was} failing … weekend edition.
Before Kim and Sandy :: there was Brad and Andy.
They broke up.
The break up was messy :: and full of santorum :: but they put on brave and loving public faces … because they were both in the same French for trade union.
It’s almost 9/9/09 :: Brad is going to relaunch StomperNet because “perpetually declining customer base” turns out to be a nose snortingly bad business strategy. It’s going to be an affiliate launch :: a Syndicate launch :: but StomperNet doesn’t pay affiliates …

Mike Koenigs wants to take Tony Robbins’ load.
{error :: restart}
Mike Koenigs wants to take Tony Robbins’ load off.
Robbins has a lot {of load} on his plate :: what with needing to be full of shit 24-7 in order to prevent his craptastic sham of a life from fucking imploding {god willing!}.
Koenigs wants to help bear some of this precious precious load in order to stave off his own sham life implosion.
Last year Mike prepared this pretend professional presentation for Tony :: pitching him on the greatness of the Koenigs parasite …