BlogWorld 2012 – SaltyDroid KeyNote

Brian Clark is an expert on Jason Jones

I’m on vacation … so let’s just read some of my March emails together shall we? I think it will be fun because I won’t have to do very much work {I already wrote March’s emails} :: and you’ll think it’s fun because you’re easily amused like a methed-up gerbil.

BlogWorldExpo —

Jason,

My name is Shane and I’m the conference director for BlogWorld and New Media Expo. I wanted to reach out to see if you would be interested or would consider doing a keynote presentation at one of our shows.

We have our NYC show June 5th, 6th, and 7th and then our West Coast show (dates are not finalized yet) in October.

Possible topics could be: The 5 Biggest Internet Scams of 2012 or even, “You Can’t Make Money Online”. Just ideas.

Look forward to hearing back.


Shane Ketterman
Conference Director
BlogWorld & New Media Expo

SD —

Shane,

Wow!

First of all — thanks — I’m seriously flattered … and somewhat relieved. I’d dared to hope that the boldness of my tone wouldn’t undercut the seriousness and complexity of my message. But mainstream acceptance has been a long time in coming … I was kind of starting to wonder if it ever would come. This invitation feels like the validation of an edgy strategy to which several years have already been invested.

So again, at the risk of being totally uncool, I say thank you.

Wait … no.

That’s what I said in Shane’s dreams :: or maybe that’s what I say to Ira Glass in my dreams {dreaming about NPR is hip now} :: but to BlogWorld … fuck no!

Shane was “looking forward to hearing back” :: so I didn’t keep him waiting …

Hey Shane ::

Are you serious? That’s mighty brave of you if you are. You get that some people, many people, in your world hate me with an unyielding passion that borders on full obsession?

Like for instance … Brian Clark and his little cabal of losers regularly use your event {and participation in your event} as a launch platform for some scam they’re about to roll out {see eg Third Tribe}. They won’t allow me to leave comments on their blogs … even comments which are ironical praise that don’t qualify as dissent unless you already know who/what the The Droid is. So how are they going to respond to me keynoting after one of their lame scam panels? Not well … I would presume.

What if my speech was The 5 Biggest Scams You’ve Paid 2 See @ BlogWorld? Just glancing at your home page right now I see Paul Colligan and David Risley … both unquestionably scammers … both named on my blog more than once … both supporting the absolute worst of the worst.

So I’m going to allow my name to be used to sell tickets to an event where blood suckers are trolling for their prey?

Seems quite dubious of me.

On the other hand … if there wasn’t to be any censorship of my ideas … then it might be worth it to me anyway. And along with my downer “there’s no easy money online” message … I am full of hope and excitement about the overwhelming power of the Internet to facilitate social change. Blog for the good of the world … not for your own fucking self. That’s my message to wannabe bloggers.

Lastly … there would be security concerns about me making a live scheduled appearance. Threats to my life are … let’s just say … quite regular … like Japanese trains.

Here’s Paul doing a BlogWorld promo for the BlogWorld Youtube page :: he’s in Mike Koenigs’ balding fake studio …

… where he often is :: doing JV/BFF type shit with one of the biggest assholes available in the small niche market for big ol’ assholes …

Shane won’t be looking forward to anymore of my replies. After spending several days wallowing in deep regrets {allegedly} :: he let me down gently regarding this exciting opportunity for me to be part of the problem that I’m so fucking passionate about fighting.

BlogWorld —

Jason,

Hey sorry for getting back in an untimely fashion. I normally reply quick but I was actually traveling a bit and I’ve learned my lesson trying to email while driving; not a good scenario.

I didn’t realize that people were so obsessed to the point of death threats and I would absolutely never want to put you in harms’s way. Not a great thing to do at a conference; or anywhere for that matter.

After reading the email again, perhaps this idea would not be as well received given the circumstances and points you mentioned.

I appreciate, however, that you emailed me back as I’m sure you get a lot of email and the last thing you need is more piling on top of that.

SD —

Oh it’d be well received that’s for sure … by the 97% of people who aren’t scammers … and aren’t planning on becoming scammers. But those aren’t the people who matter I suppose … which says something scary about BlogWorld IMO. [redaction]

I guess you don’t read the blog much if you’re not aware of the death threats … some of the worst ones are right there in public.

No worries about piling on emails. I’m not like a fake guru pretending to be overwhelmed. But now that you’ve emailed me … I’ll never stop pestering you … congrats!

So let’s start with that. Maybe you could just comment briefly on David Risley and Paul Colligan. How are they not scammers? Why should people pay to hear them? Please point me to some evidence that David Risley has ever had more than a tiny tiny trickle of web traffic.

You know y’all have already made one appearance?

http://saltydroid.info/this-is-also-relevant-to-my-interests/

So what mechanisms do you have in place to try and make sure people appearing at your conference are legit? Or do you not care if your customers are being taken advantage of by people whose credibility you’ve helped prop up?

BlogWorld —

Hey Jason,

Thanks for the reply back. These questions can be answered and/ or addressed by our CEO, Rick.

If you would provide a phone number where you can be reached and an appropriate time to call, he will reach out to you directly.

Thanks,

Shane

SD —

Rick can call me at 312-***-3125 … then he can see how super amazing I am at giving scary speeches.

The sooner the better because this is quite a hilarious situation.

SD —

Shane ::

Check it out …

http://saltydroid.info/lethal-commission-impossible/comment-page-1/#comment-71692

… funny right?

To me anywayz.

Rick never called.

I guess I’m respectable enough to give a keynote … but not respectable enough to have my very serious questions answered. I suppose it’s hard to answer questions that don’t have legitimate answers.

Fucksticks who are part of the sick machine shouldn’t get themselves under the self-deluded misimpression that this site is about fun :: or about jokes … just because it’s stuffed full of fun and jokes. The jokes aren’t for you dickheads … they’re about you.

Dave Navarro never really came home from BlogWorld 2010 :: his vulnerable personality so intoxicated by the make money online unicorns that his sons no longer have a father … or a viable means of financial support.

Colleen Conaway is dead.

Kirby Brown is dead.

James Shore is dead.

Liz Neuman is dead.

Hundreds of thousands of senior citizens have had their golden years destroyed by one of the ugliest forms of intentional fraud.

I come not to bring peace … but to bring a sword.

>> bleep bloop

47 thoughts on “BlogWorld 2012 – SaltyDroid KeyNote”

  1. blogging… wheeee!!!!

    I bet that when Shane Ketterman first emailed you, he honestly didn’t see that there’d be a problem.

    Now then, by the end of the email exchanges, it seems pretty likely he’s sort of read the bit about the scammyness at blogworld, but his brain refuses to process/refuses to register that information. It’d be great if he is now undergoing a moral crisis thingie. Then he might change his whole Worldview.

    But he probably isn’t. It’s likely that instead he initiated Cognitive Dissonance Defense Measures. It’s easy to do. See, he doesn’t know you at all. But he knows those blogworld folks well. And, of course, he’s sure he’s a good, moral, stand up guy. Meanwhile, you use curse words–and you even dissed on his business associates. http://www.flickr.com/photos/7412504@N02/7141023155/

    People don’t need to be sociopaths to do massive wrong. They just focus on the immediate crisis thinking “how can I get out of it?” instead of “is this really the right thing to do?” Just like this one:
    Nixon Tapes
    or this guy:
    Toby Groves–why good people do bad things

    Nixon should have gone to jail instead of just having to resign. But he wasn’t a sociopath. The crazy f*ck honestly thought he was doing the right thing. Of course it didn’t help matters that every time he turned around there were people telling him he did the right thing. Of course, if they had tried, would he have really listened? No. More firings.

    Anyhoo… being human can really suck sometimes. Certainty can be a dangerous thing.

    You can be sure of one thing always: If you, whoever you are, are certain that you are Right, I am going to call you on it. So having supporting evidence would be a Really Good Idea.

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

    At this point, he’s probably mentally labeled you as “wild eyed crazy loon”. That sucks. But that’s what it takes to keep the Sick Machine up and chewing.

  2. Wow! Where to begin. I’ll take Laura Roeder. Nothing says success like a video in front of a closet door with a cheap bookshelf full of self help books… The yelp reviews for Laura’s stellar business are few, but super-complimentary. I do notice that the address given for “Roeder Studios” on yelp is the Carrier Annex for the Venice branch of the LA post office. As for those other “vids” their computer generated theme “music” hurt my ears and what was the point of showing all those stills before they got to the interview?

    I hope the pool of people willing to pay money to see these fools is dwindling.

    Salty, I’d love to hear you interviewed by Ira Glass. I’m sure I’m not alone.

    1. @Anna,

      I’ll take Laura Roeder. Nothing says success like a video in front of a closet door with a cheap bookshelf full of self help books…

      Yeah, I’m inclined to agree. I mean, separate from the whole IM-MMO scam aspect, the whole concept of Blogworld seems so 2010.

      Blogs are useful. And they’re everywheres. And I think that’s ok, I think it’s even good. But the idea of blogs as the Next Big Thing is over and done with. Some Internet stuff (like blogs) works in computer years instead of human years. [thevettebarn.com]

      So it’s as if blogs have been around for decades. Actually, come to think of it, they have been around for 1.5 decades. [wikipedia.org]

      Blogs aren’t oh-so-cool and flashy now (as if they ever even were). Blogs are just useful tools. It’s like going to a convention on Allen wrenches or something. [wikipedia.org]

      I mean–ok, so since there’s a thing for everything, maybe there’s an Allen wrench convention somewhere. But I doubt very highly that, at that convention, the Allen wrench enthusiasts are all like “oh wow! You know I’m totally gonna base a whole business model around my Allen wrenches!”

      Blogworld? As the central lynchpin of a legit money making venture? It just seems silly.


      Furry cows moo and decompress.

  3. Thanks for making me snort my coffee SD ;)
    I would have thought that when you research your speakers you visit their blog/website and get a feel for their outlook – or if you’re Blogworld, maybe not!

  4. Salty: have a good holiday! In the mean time Methed-up-gerbil might actually get down to some work.

  5. Did Roeder say that she keeps going back to Blogworld because of the great connections she makes there and blah, blah and then 5 seconds later say this this was her first Blogworld event? Did I misunderstand that? I wonder which is the true statement. On second thought, meh.

    1. @Rafael Marquez, In her defense, it’s a loaded question that everybody in the video series answers: “Why do you keep coming back to BlogWorld?” assumes you’ve already been.

      I just listened to that part again… she says she’s excited to go because it’s in L.A. and she’s going to meet other bloggers.

  6. A Colligan/Koenigs Video Sandwich! Just what I always wanted!

    (Want to find out how you can get one of those sandwiches, too? Check out the 0:42 mark on the 2nd Colligan video.)

  7. Nice work. It’s as if I were invited to some sort of event with a lot of $cientologists in attendance, and yet I wouldn’t be allowed to really tell the truth about L. Ron Hubbard and his scam-o-rama.

    Or, in less than 140 letters: “Scientology philosophy: Make Rons. Make more Rons. Make others produce to so as to make more Rons. (Read it aloud.)”

    So yeah, I totally understand where you’re coming from, Mr. Robot, and I love the way you handled it. I also wish you’d be on Ira Glass, so that my boyfriend would call me up some Saturday and tell me I absolutely just need to drop everything right now and listen to this guy named Jason talking to Ira Glass. Because he’s done that before.

  8. I’ll bet The Droid was like, “Yeah, I’ll totally tell BlogWorld I’ll talk about ‘The 5 Biggest Internet Scams of 2012’ but then I’ll actually talk about ‘The 5 Biggest Scams You’ve Paid 2 See @ BlogWorld,'” and Jason had to take the keyboard away and type out this responsible grownup “Are you serious?” email to Shane.

    Also, I didn’t realize Sonia Simone was well into her 50s until I heard her speak here. I’m curious what kind of expensive skin cream she’s buying with your monies.

    1. @Lanna ::

      Actually I think we instantly agreed with each other on this one. No fucking way.

      Stupid speeches aren’t important … what shit looks like on the Internet is what’s important {and lasting}. Between me saying yes :: and me punking them from stage :: and then forever after … innocent people would be getting hurt directly resulting from my implied endorsement of these disgusting scoundrels.

      No way.

  9. Giving ridiculous speeches is exactly like blogging, it demands focus.

    The Five Biggest Scams at BlogWorld is still way too broad of a subject. It should be something like The Five Most Idiotic Things Brian Clark Has Said in the Last Half Hour. Or Five Ways to Grow Your Blog by Threatening Anyone and Everyone with Libel Suits. Or Five Ways to Touch a Lot More Than the Hem.

    These are titles you can believe in.

    1. @Peter,

      You deserve another “+1 Humorous Insight”, but the voting seems to be disabled at the moment.


      Furry cows moo and decompress.

  10. Poor career move–

    Shane: Hey boss, you know that funny anti-scammer dude who calls himself the Salty Droid? Yeh that one. Anyway, I thought we could have a few laughs at the conference so I invited him to come and speak.

    Rick: …….You did what???!!!

    Shane: Yeh, I ran a few ideas past him which I thought might work, but he got a bit kinda snarky and it got a bit complicated.

    Rick: Well what the fuck were you….

    Shane: Anyway, I told him you’d call him and clear it up. Here’s his number…

    1. @Yakaru,

      I thought maybe Shane was a dopey, wide-eyed kid fresh out of school, but a quick search showed me he’s more of a mid-career professional. He’s only been with BlogWorld for a year, but c’mon, he shoulda known better.

      Then I thought maybe this was a form email sent to some list of “top bloggers,” but he mentions the tagline. Someone visited the site. Why didn’t they scroll down the home page and see the “Copyblogger” box under Debbie’s picture?

        1. @Yakaru, yeah due diligence has a nasty habit of making scams and complete shit programs look like scams and complete shit programs. So being employed by a scam or complete shit program definitely means learning how NOT to do any due diligence ever. So guys like Shane are probably in high demand by french for trade unions and other scumbags.

          1. @Peter,

            @Yakaru, yeah due diligence has a nasty habit of making scams and complete shit programs look like scams and complete shit programs. So being employed by a scam or complete shit program definitely means learning how NOT to do any due diligence ever. So guys like Shane are probably in high demand by french for trade unions and other scumbags.

            And that is the Achilles’ heel of all of scamming and con artist tricks. Due diligence is the nemesis of fraud and scam. So they avoid it and screw up instead.

            The sad thing is the sheer number of mistakes it seems scammers have to make before the community at large finally start to wake up. We trust so much.


            Furry cows moo and decompress.

            1. @SD,
              You know…I have hated this fat fuck “magician” since he did that whole video on how anyone who thinks 9/11 was some kind of inside job is an (I quote): “Idiot!”
              Personally I think anyone who thinks the official story for 9/11 is legit is not just an idiot but has had a serious lobotomy followed by massive electroconvulsive “therapy” to make you believe bullshit.

              And by the way…dis you know showmen and hypnotists are more often that anyone would like to think used to give “strong opinions” to the masses in line with what the powers that be want the masses to think?
              Jesus. I hope to shit next time around I am born on a different planet. One with honesty in it and good beings. I don’t even mind if I have to have tentacles and eyes on stalks.

  11. I really hope Sonia Simone starts a fashion blog. Some suggested topics:

    “Having a Preschool Class Dye Your Hair: Glamorous AND Affordable!”

    “A Cheap But Kicky Necklace Made by Stringing Cough Drops”

    “How to Take Any Three Wardrobe Items and Combining them For A Whole New Look or Bag Lady Chic!”

    Evidently there are no mirrors at blog world…

  12. You should go…but only if they agree to change the name from Blogworld to Scamworld 2012!

  13. @Salty,
    You should have said yes!
    Said your topic was “You Can’t Make Money Online”

    Then gone on stage with a bottle of Jack, a glass and some ice.
    and given the talk you really wanted to give!
    The 5 Biggest Scams You’ve Paid 2 See @ BlogWorld

    Now that would have gone down in history as the best PUNK’D of all.

    Well maybe next time.

    Keep up the great work.

    1. @Funny ::

      Instead I PUNK’D every punk ass motherfucker who thinks it’s morally acceptable to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with criminals for personal profit and desperately pathetic fame lust.

      Suck it assholes. Account for yourselves.

    1. @Dr. Zen, great interview – thanks for sharing that. Nice work JJ – that is about as concise an observation of what is happening as you could hope for.

    2. @Dr. Zen,

      I can’t help but wish this article had come out a few years ago. As it is, I’m glad the information is out there in a clear, concise style that anyone can understand. I’m hopeful it’ll reach the audience it should and that the ‘net is a bit safer for everyone.

      Thanks for what you do, Jason. I think your interview made it clear you’re not just some “hater” sitting in mom’s basement hurling insults; you’re a consumer advocate and a voice for the otherwise voiceless victims.

  14. Came here from the The Verge – Great article and I am dying (laughing) here in my cubicle reading your content!

    I hope a ton more people find your site and avoid the scammers like the plague.

    Why is it they all look like bad extras from porn movies? The ones filmed in the San Fernando Valley – in their mom’s garage?

    Just curious.

  15. Here’s Shane :: it’s good to put a face with the pwns.

    http://youtu.be/beso50hS3Pc

    Classic Internet Marketing content :: poor production values … and unmatchable social awkwardness.

    And now these exciting scenes from some hotel’s basement …

    http://youtu.be/2_G7FfhRWhQ

    … I wish I had been there like I wish I was currently neck deep in Perry Belcher’s moob mountains.

  16. I was surprised to hear Brogan namedrop the late (and unlamented by me) Andrew Breitbart as one of Blogworld’s 2011 closing keynote. Why would the upbeat, can-do Third Tribers be rubbing elbows with a dishonest propagandist who peddled a twisted version of the American Dream…oh wait, that seems like a perfect match.

  17. Shane Ketterman left BlogWorld. I hear their people are dropping like flies. There was a big layoff and people quit.

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