BlogWorld New Media Expo Cofounder & CEO Rick Calvert {he insists that you call him by his full title on all occasions} … was born in a small stupid town that sat right outside a slightly larger stupid town. Rick always wanted to live in the slightly larger stupid town {where all the good people lived} :: but his family was too poor … they could barely afford to keep the goats. Rick’s mother was an Oompa-loompa :: and his father a failed professional bowler … hopelessly addicted to sniffing shoe glue. …

Sonia Simone and Naomi Dunford are BFFs :: they bonded early {and often} over their mutual love of other people’s money. In a 2008 post on Sonia’s typepad blog :: celebrating her one whole year anniversary in blogging … she gave a shout out to the unlovely Ms. Spider Dunford …

The now-infamous Naomi Dunford found Remarkable Communication right around the middle of September and showed up for the first time in my comments. She proceeded to start a little blog on home business marketing that instantly trounced mine for traffic and subscribers, but …

Chris Brogan isn’t fond of bragging :: it’s just that bragging is what he does for a “career” so it’s become a bit of a habit … you know?
Chris wrote a post about The Verge’s Scamworld article :: from his home well inside Scamworld … because that’s how we fucking roll in Scamworld. Self-awareness is an impediment to crime-based-pseudo-success :: never forget that … but remember not to remember that you’re remembering it … or you might start feeling guilty about being such a major asshole.
The URL for the post …

Card fighting is a popular way for nerds to resolve their differences :: it’s much like the traditional Alexander Hamilton style pistol dueling … except that nobody dies and you are still free/encouraged to eat lots of fucking Cheetos.
Aaron Wall {AWOL} had some Internet personalities {term used loosely} converted into lego cards for his SEOBook … because that’s exactly what the robot gods wanted to happen for sure. This could have been my idea :: and for the record … I resent other people for having ideas I wish I …

Congratulations!
… is how Dr. Seuss’ last book begins.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go is about how life’s all about getting out there and doing it :: hope for the best … knowing that’s almost for sure not what’s going to happen. Cause life is beautiful … but it’s a total fucking bitch. Ride it calm like a wave :: even when your head is scraping along the bottom … knowing eventually you’ll be back on the beach eating hotdogs.

Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching …

I’m on vacation … so let’s just read some of my March emails together shall we? I think it will be fun because I won’t have to do very much work {I already wrote March’s emails} :: and you’ll think it’s fun because you’re easily amused like a methed-up gerbil.

BlogWorldExpo –

Jason,
My name is Shane and I’m the conference director for BlogWorld and New Media Expo. I wanted to reach out to see if you would be interested or would consider doing a keynote presentation at one of our shows.
We …

Have you heard about not-rocker Dave Navarro’s funny news?
No?
Good :: then I get to be the one to tell you … he abandoned his kids {in the worst way} and his wife {in the worst way} for a fake business and a fat girl.
Hooray!
LOL
Hooray!
LOL
Says Dave in a pathetic fucking sales email last week …

So I have a bit of funny news for you.
As of Monday morning, my heart and mind belong to IttyBiz.
Which is a bit of a laugh for me because I’d swore I’d never take a “day job” again.
But …

1 in 25 Americans are sociopaths / psychopaths / conscienceless-freaks … 4% … holy fuck! … that’s way more than you thought … assuming you’d ever bothered to thought about it.
20 of 25 Salty Droid targets are sociopaths :: hopefully :: cause that’s kinda the point.
Some distinguishing traits of the psychopath :: according to wikipedia’s version of Dr. Robert Hare’s Psychopathy Check List …

Glibness/superficial charm
Grandiose sense of self-worth
Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt
Shallow affect (genuine emotion is short-lived and egocentric)
Callousness; lack of empathy
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
Need for stimulation/proneness …

Manipulation :: if you act now :: for the whole family … and you can too!
A lot of weak and wimpy shiteaters out there think that manipulation is a bad thing :: but spider monster Naomi Dunford knows better …
… infantile manipulation …
See :: everybody’s a master manipulator :: even PreemieJack and the other lil’ babies out there …

… fucking propagandists one and all.
Baby after baby demanding that their basic human needs be met by the person responsible for meeting those needs. It’s sick.
Dave Navarro released a blogging about blogging …

Alison Newton met Dave Navarro 17 years ago at NC State. They were close friends for years before they decided to get matching last names. The matching names were a commitment that they both took seriously. They had both come from severely broken homes :: and both were determined to protect their own children from the same fate.
By the time I met Alison Navarro a couple of months ago :: Naomi Dunford and the cult of Internet Marketing had already destroyed everything that Dave and Alison had worked so hard to build. …