Mind Control Made Easy or How to Become a Cult Leader :: a short film by Carey Burtt.
This short film {12 min} somehow manages to be quite adorable in spite of the two brainwashed murders. It provides a clear blueprint for any budding psychopath to start making a 6 :: 7 :: or even 8 figure income simply by sucking the life out of other humans.  It’s easy :: it’s fun :: and it’s a complete turn-key cult solution.  Yours FREE today just for signing up for my telepathic opt-in …

If you really want to hear about it :: the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born :: and what my lousy childhood was like :: and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me :: and all that David Copperfield kind of crap :: but I don’t feel like going into it :: if you want to know the truth.  I usually just tell people :: “I’m a robot” :: but they never believe you :: and still ask for your …

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Salty Droid:  So I believe we had established that you are a Mormon Internet scammer living in an RV down by the Mississippi river :: Does that sound right Teacup?
Jason Jones: Close enough.
Salty Droid:  I see you’ve thrown down more visuals :: looks fucking official :: you’ll excuse me if I don’t read it.
Jason Jones: The last post produced some very interesting results as expected, but there were still a few residual doubters. So please enjoy my law license, my law school diploma, and the envelope in which they remain …

Salty Droid:  Special guest with us on the blog again today.  His name is Jason Jones :: and you’ve never fucking heard of him. Jason writes a blog about savory robotics and high end hair conditioners {or something} :: who cares … fuck him! :: Jason … welcome to the fake show.
First question :: Who is the Salty Droid?
Jason Michael Jones: Interesting question Droid.  First time I’ve heard it {fake laughing … in the distance a choir full of angels sings}.  I would have loved to have told you myself …

Who is the Salty Droid?
Enquiring minds want to know :: But they struggle with the enquiring … and the “knowing” for that matter {and perhaps “mind” is putting it a bit strong}. It’s been almost a year since the beginning of “The Droid Problems” … and the d-bags still know nothing.  So the quest continues ….
Who is the Salty Droid?
Is it your Momma?  Cause someone reliable told me it was :: that woman is hideous and foul so I’m not surprised.
Who is the Salty Droid?
Is it a non-sequitur? Many mysteries …

In the central halls of the Doofus League :: evil glasses are being raised {pinkie out} to toast the end of The Salty Droid era.  “Boys :: James Arthur Ray’s life ending exploits have delivered us from the righteous retribution we so richly deserved :: Three cheers for murder :: Hip Hip”
Also many pleas from The People :: {small weeping fragile voices} “Droid please don’t abandon us for this new war. What ever would we do?  I guess we could cry and cry and cry like a bunch of whiny …

>> bleep bloop
Pick a card :: Any card …
Now take that card and get the fuck out of my house.
I don’t care if you’re only seven … I don’t like being asked to do magic tricks.
It makes me feel inadequate.
And you know what? :: Leave the card! :: Just get the fuck out.
>> bleep bloop

Memetics :: The study of self-replicating units of culture.  Ideas as genes :: Struggling to survive into the next generation. Ideas as microorganisms. Ideas with their own agendas and motivations.  Ideas with the will to live. We think we are in control of the ideas we have :: But maybe they control us :: Sneaky little bastards.
In this interesting {and short} TED talk :: Diane Benscoter discusses her time as a Moonie and postulates that a brain under the influence of a cult is temporarily rewired to produce results that …

Jason:  Hi, I’m Jason and I write this blog.
SaltyDroid: Err what?!? That’s the second time you’ve said that crap in my presence.  You don’t do shit :: I write this fucking blog :: You just sit on your fancy ass and watch!
Jason: It’s true, you have done the vast majority of the work to date.  I really appreciate it, and I think others do as well, your antics are quite humorous.
SD: Thanks for the vote of confidence cheese dick :: If I gave a rats gooey turd about what you …

WANTED :: FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE REPUBLIC
PERRY BELCHER aka {Evil Jowls}
What are you doing to help stop Perry Belcher from stealing millions of dollars in flagrant violation of  universal justice {and his parole}?  Probably nothing :: Because you are bland like dry white toast. Don’t you feel bad about that?  You should do something adventurous {other than golf on TV} :: Spice your life up a bit :: Fuck toast … be a dill pickle.
You know what would be exciting and useful? Hanging this sign up on your home on …