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Who is The Salty Droid?

Author == 5 May 2009 12 Comments

masked-with-mystery

Who is The Salty Droid? {assumption of John Galt allusion unwarranted}

Ask yourself that question. {DO IT … close your eyes and DO IT}  Now lose some fucking sleep over it.  Who?  WHO?!?  God damn it … I must know NOW! Stop the insanity!!

Oh ScamTown :: You’re So Adorable

Let The Droid break it down for the Guruhood Of Internetia.  You see girls … it doesn’t matter who I am.  You don’t need to be particularly qualified :: morally upright :: intelligent :: or sober to write a profanity laden blog about OBVIOUS shit eating bastards.

What if I’m really a 67 year goat herder from the mountains of Pakistan with a whole Harem of women who I BEAT regularly for my pleasure?  Sure, that’s going to BLOW my chances at a Pulitzer :: But it won’t make Evil Jowls Perry Belcher any less a FELON or Disgusting Pig {swineflu, #swineflu, notice me, pigflu, #sneeze}.  Jimmy Davis will still lack the qualifications for Food Court employment.  Carbon Copy Pro will still be CRAPTACULAR.  And homophobe JaceMan Barnett will still be on this blog … wearing a fucking tiara {forever and ever amen}.

The truth, dolled up in a Gown-o-Snark, will still RING … and STING. There is to be no saving you from it now.  You might as well shut down your squeeze pages :: Delete your Twitter accounts :: Eliminate the phrase “Limited Time Offer” from your rhetorical repertoires  :: And join the fucking Navy like REAL MEN would.

However :: If you must quest for my identity incessantly :: Here’s a Pro tip –> Assume that the facts I have already given you are TRUE.

What?? Surely you jest!!

No really, you should try it … at least as a starting point.  I know it’s hard for you soulless witches to understand this … but some people DON’T lie INCESSANTLY.  Most people haven’t read the underground MLM hit :: Successfully Making Up Professional Sounding Titles SuccessfullySpecial Edition Gold.

I’m trying to establish a reputation for aggressive truthfulness :: LYING about myself as an opening act would be a piss poor start.  It would be idiot stupid :: Have almost no near-term upside :: And would show a complete lack of forethought.  Does that sound like a description of this Droid??

WAIT! Don’t answer that … just keep cowering in silence while I run fucking circles around you.

>>bleep

12 Comments »

  • Monty's Python said:

    I have known the Droid for quite some time (measured in days) and can certainly vouch for him even if I cannot specifically identify him. He is upstanding in every respect except while seated. If you happen to be a scammer, be advised that he not only has your number, but he has your square root, and you’ll soon be hearing about it.

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  • Karin Hiebert said:

    Buried Comment: Show

    We all know a droid, we respect droids. Many people would love to be LIKE the droid, and even :BE: The Droid.

    Droids don’t pussy foot around, they say what others won’t, and they do what others don’t…and they do so with passion!

    Droids are needed in this world. We want droids in this world. ~droids are like super heros with super powers~
    Droids are protectors, and the doers of the good deeds. Most people will sit and watch chaos around them and maybe they could do something to help, but, they choose not to~
    (they’re just not droids)

    people who stand up for their cause…are doing so because they care. they do so because they want to make the world a better place…they stand tall and proud protecting others from harm that could be prevented…

    “How do people feel when a CHILD MOLESTER comes out of prison and this perpetrator moves right back into the area where he had previously molested? He purposely surrounds himself with his “prey”…His target audience ::

    the very same TARGETS that he previously preyed upon, AND successfully manipulated before?

    Who knows maybe ~This Time~ he wont rape anyone.
    But, MAYBE he will try and get whatever he can, and hope that this time he won’t get caught.

    “This time around he is smarter, slicker, he might change his game up a bit”

    bottom line, he’s right back where HE wants to be, and where he is happy doing the only thing HE knows…and [SADLY]loves.

    “Oh, what’s that you say… he has changed?” “he learned from his last lesson?” :: No More Questionable Behaviors? ::

    Want him back in YOUR neighborhood? want him SHOWING others and repeating this cycle of manipulation?
    Will This Time be “different?” ~maybe not AS bad?~
    after all, he learned from his mistake, didn’t he?

    Someone PLEASE be the droid! Stand up, at least let the neighborhood know…this time he brought his friends…you know the ones…the ones that live the same cycle… he taught them well!

    Break the cycle, break the silence.

    The bad guys made it really hard on the good guys. the good guy has to work harder proving that he is good and can be trusted.

    but that’s ok…if HE is good and CAN be trusted, he won’t mind the extra work, or effort.

    He too, is passionate about his purpose…

    Cheers to the Droids of the World!!!

    ~Karin Hiebert

    ~A wise droid once said to me “people are generally good by nature, if not it would be so easy to throw a grenade into a crowd of people” “yet it rarely happens” ~

    but, sometimes you do get the odd lunatics…

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  • susanholsinger said:

    I appreciated Karin’s comments and would like to repeat a few things here…
    Quote:
    Droids don’t pussy foot around, they say what others won’t, and they do what others don’t…and they do so with passion!

    Droids are needed in this world. We want droids in this world. ~droids are like super heroes with super powers~
    Droids are protectors, and the doers of the good deeds. Most people will sit and watch chaos around them and maybe they could do something to help, but, they choose not to~
    (they’re just not droids) End Quote

    Too many times I see people living their lives in apathy…they are just going through the motions…nothing really touches them and makes them want to get into action.

    This is one reason a droid is so important. To speak up about issues when no one else wants to. To give a voice to the ones who either don’t care or won’t get into action about making the world a better place to be.

    The challenge to each one of us is what we choose to do with our time and talents. Will we choose to hide them away where no one even knows what they are? Will we choose to share those talents with others and make a difference is someones life?

    I am reminded of a story about a man walking along the beach one day. The beach was strewn with starfish. He saw a young lad picking the starfish up and throwing it back into the water. The man exclaimed to the boy that there was no way he could ever throw all the starfish back into the water so what difference did it make? The lads reply…”It made a difference for that one!”

    Too many times we do not value the work we do or the gifts and talents we possess. If we recognized “it made a difference for that one” perhaps we would all be more passionate about our work, our life and the vision we have to make a difference in people’s lives …. one at a time!

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  • Frank Cammalleri said:

    A little of both is good to know and have. You can’t be just sweet and salty. You can’t be just black or white. And you can’t be truthful or a liar!

    Hey I mean, if you want to be sweet and salty, then be a nature valley granola bar. It’s a combination of both. If you want to be black and white, be a zebra (and they run fast too!) And hell, if you want to be truthful and lie at the same time, be Bill Clinton!!! (That’s if you have sexual relations and not say anything about it, lol)

    Life would be boring if you were one and not the other.
    So to all you Salty Droids out there…. Kudos I say!! Stick with the game plan!

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  • opsmonkey said:

    Personally, I’d like for your identity to remain hidden. Should your identity come out, it would ruin your work, kind of like how once we all knew who was posting as “Fake Steve Jobs,” that blog stopped being fun.

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  • sd (author) said:

    Wow! That conversation took a turn for the serious. My Opinion :: Droids usually end up ignored, marginalized by the blind majority, and dead in the fucking streets. One can understand why folks aren’t eager to sign up. Maybe the Internet changes that … maybe.

    Monkey :: You might be right about that. It does make it more fun … but if use my real name I can kick WAY more ass … and that will be funny too … so I can’t quite decide.

    >>bleep

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  • Karin Hiebert said:

    perhaps Droid, “this conversation took a turn for the serious, because it is.”
    It DOESN’T matter who you are, or who THEY think you are, or are not.

    YOU know who you are!

    You know what you are doing, or you wouldn’t be doing it. Simple.
    Plain and Simple.

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  • Ian T said:

    If I can borrow a quote from another site ‘KEEP THE BASTARDS HONEST’ I say.

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  • Doctor Defamation | The Salty Droid said:

    [...] And commented on this very blog about the correlation between sexual abusers and financial abusers {link}.  Karin didn’t need to ask me if this garbage was true or not … and this DM was in my [...]

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  • » Who is the Salty Droid? {again} said:

    [...] back in May when I asked the same question?  No!! :: Of course you don’t :: Because you weren’t here then :: No one was here.  [...]

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  • Anonymous said:


    However :: If you must quest for my identity incessantly :: Here’s a Pro tip –> Assume that the facts I have already given you are TRUE.

    What?? Surely you jest!!

    No really, you should try it … at least as a starting point. I know it’s hard for you soulless witches to understand this … but some people DON’T lie INCESSANTLY. Most people haven’t read the underground MLM hit :: Successfully Making Up Professional Sounding Titles Successfully — Special Edition Gold.

    LOLing.

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    Wyrd Reply:

    @, FWIW, this was me–just was having problems with the form on my (new semi-smart) phone.

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