Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

The Salty Droid is Dead :: Long Live The Salty Droid

shotdown with butterflies

>> bleep bloop

The rumor of my untimely demise {lamely started by me} proves FALSE :: 4 Shizzle! :: I’m BACK bitches! blorp bloop! Rising from the grave I was never in … to become The King I fucking imagine myself to be.

{imagined applause :: Cheers :: Pats on the metal back :: One douche starts jeering :: But I make the best of it :: Back to the applause, it’s even louder now}

Don’t get me wrong, I still love WordPress.Com :: She’s been a good woman to me. I love how she was like: “Just write you lazy prick … people don’t come to websites to look at impressive CSS!” Yeah so true .. so true. Just write! It’s like, hippie chick, and stuff. But she’s simple … you know? And I mean, I love that about her … I really do. It was so charming at first … made me feel warm. But sometimes you’d just rather be with someone who showers … and has widgets …

Debbie, take a letter!

Dear BadGuys,

I haven’t really been gone :: I’ve been watching you :: I’ve been feeling the sulfuric vapors of your breathing on my screens. Guess what?? Now I’m going to be EVEN WORSE! The more you wiggle and squirm :: The more I see where you are weak {and just how very weak you are}.

Enjoy today … because tomorrow I start tearing you a new one inside the new one I already tore you.

Your New Old Friend,

>> bleep bloop