Salty Droid >> bleep bloop

Salty Droid

BluePrint to Cult Riches

Mind Control Made Easy :: or :: How to Become a Cult Leader … a short film by Carey Burtt.

This short film {12 min} somehow manages to be quite adorable in spite of the two brainwashed murders. It provides a clear blueprint for any budding psychopath to start making a 6 :: 7 :: or even 8 figure income simply by sucking the life out of other humans. It’s easy :: it’s fun :: and it’s a complete turn-key cult solution. Yours FREE today just for signing up for my telepathic opt-in list {and I’ll know if you don’t sign up you sneaky bitches!}.

Your mommy won’t let you watch awesome YouTube videos because she’s a Jehovah’s Witness? That’s cool :: I’ve prepared this outline for you.

The Droid Center on Droidination presents :: BluePrint to Cult Riches :: The Outline
  • Structure it like an onion – Useful/banal stuff on the outside … turd balls on the inside.

  • Recruiting – {don’t beat your wife on the honeymoon}

    • Use Deception – Start with a pretty lie :: Infinite Internet Monies … Harmonic Wealth in all five areas … The Secret … talking to dolphins.

    • FREE – Give them something for free :: Free Program … Free Seminar … Free iPod.

    • Time Limit – Only 100 77 22 12 7 remaining … when is NOW the right time to sign up for the next seminar?

    • Love Bomb – Be friendly and responsive … ask questions … attain info that can be used later.

  • Control Behaviors – Food and water intake … sleep patterns … rigid scheduling.

  • Control Thoughts – Unicorn wealth is the key to happiness … Balance is Bogus Three for Three

  • Control Emotions – Induce guilt :: fear :: and other negative emotions.

  • Control Information –

    • On the Outside – Delete comments :: hunt The Salty Droid :: DMCA claims :: Lawsuit threats :: Harassment.

    • On the Inside – Never reveal the true inner workings of the group to the members. NEVER!

  • Induce a Mental Collapse :: then call it a fucking “breakthrough.”

  • Claim Authority – From divinity … Peruvian shaman … fake quantum physics … knowledge of secrets that will make you money while you sleep. Make up stories that overstate your magnificence :: $12 Million in 12 Hours

  • Induce trance states – Singing … jumping … group hypnosis … over breathing … chanting … prolonged meditation.

  • Separation from friends and family – They refuse to believe in your unicorn dreams? They are holding you back … fuck um … stop wasting your quantum time on them.

  • Discourage autonomy and individuality :: Encourage dependence and conformity.

      * Preach independence :: Foster dependence.
  • Confessionals :: The past sucked it hardcore … but now thanks to blah blah blah … everything is harmonic and my clickbanks are yielding high seven figures.

  • Us vs. Them

  • Fight Resistance :: treat criticisms of the group by insiders like crimes … accuse them of crimes … there must be something wrong with you … only losers fail.

  • Indoctrinate with fear :: without the group you will fail to grow … you’ll be stuck … you will be poor and alone forever.

  • Need people to die for you? Talk about death a lot … call bodies “containers” or vessels … maybe make reference to death as a “transition.”

The End.

Hmmm … something about all that sounds familiar …

>> bleep bloop